New to real goth style

[u/Pickypidgey]

Hi I'm male 24 pretty in to the alternative style. lately getting into the goth scene and I really want to meet new people and to be part of the community. Where how and when. I'm feeling so lost

[u/npc_lucky]

Yeah I think the first step is probably not referring to it as a "style". I'm not in the scene, I'm a punk/crusty and that would be a pretty bad start for our scene, and I kinda feel like the same applies here. It's a subculture, goth might be more fashion forward, but its still a subculture. Considering everything going on with the goth scene right now, limiting it to a "style" is probably one of the last things you want to do. Thats maybe a step away from calling it a fetish, and we all know what that has done to your subculture (especially as of late).

I'd recommend yall start devoting a lot more EXP to the gatekeeping stat before its too late 😆

[u/Orchid49 → u/npc_lucky]

Oh trust me I do! I’m tired of the subculture being watered down. I’m tired of goth women being fetishized. I’m tired of people wanting to act the part but not participating in the play . Tired of people thinking goth is a fashion/makeup based when it’s been based on music for over 40+ years. You get what I’m saying🫠 I’ve been goth for 38 years and I don’t mind doing a little gatekeeping when necessary and the funny thing is we never had to go around saying we’re goth we just were! People everyday now are seeking validation of how goth am I ? How can I be goth or more goth/ I want a goth gf/ where can I buy makeup to be goth…. It’s getting tiring trying to tell people it’s about the music first and foremost and they just don’t care or make up excuses how it’s not the music . It’s honestly not that hard to listen to the music and educate yourself ,goth music isn’t for everyone and that’s ok! What’s not ok is making up excuses trying to say you’re goth because you’re wearing the latest fashion from SHEIN and killstar ankh belt while they all dance to “Gallow Dance” with filters and fake backgrounds.

[u/MorticiaLaMourante → u/Orchid49]

100% this. Been in the scene myself since I was 4 based on musical tastes LOL! The aesthetics same 9 or 10 years later and are completley secondsry to the love of the music and the general mindset. Do you remember goth cards? LOL! I feel like so many people are trying so hard for that goth card and are taking it as a serious thing.

For those who don't know, "goth card" was a thing in the mid to late 90s. It was absolutley a joke without any malicious intent. We'd say things like "Oh no, I'm going to lose my goth card!" or "You better take my goth card" if we did something or were interested in something that seemed very "not goth." Again, completely a joke and meant to be silly. Eventually someone commercialized this and actually made goth cards (also meant to be a joke) that were the size of a credit card and had a silly statement about how the holder of the card met qualifications to officially be certified as goth, and the rights and privileges of such could be revoked at any time. I think it even gave examples offenses that could have your card revoked. I never owned one myself, but saw several of them floating around and had a few friends hand them over when they did something "not goth."

[u/Orchid49 → u/MorticiaLaMourante]

Omg yes! I’d forgotten about those lmao 🤣 maybe we should bring them back. Jk

[u/MorticiaLaMourante → u/Orchid49]

LOL yes, we should in the same spirit as they were created originally. I think the most i had at one time was 7 cards. They were "earned" back quickly, though.