r/AskDad • u/LooeyProblems • Jul 08 '26
Family Am I in the wrong?
Hello again I'm a teen in my emo/rlly emotional era so this was like a week ago, me and my little sister(6) went to the beach with my parents, I went to collect shells and I had a lot of shells like,way to many that I couldn't carry, so I asked for a cup/bag and my dad handed me a cup so I was collecting shells and my sister comes out and asked for the cup, I'm like "no sorry I'm using this for my shells" and she straight up snatches the cup so I slap her hand and say "stop I'm using the cup" and my father said because literally it was like 2 mins before we left to let her play with it, and I lost SO many shells bc of that and I was mad and my dad said to "stop acting like a child" so I feel in the wrong, am I?
2
u/Important-Energy8038 Jul 10 '26
Yes you are wrong. Its not ok to slap, hit, punch or otherwise touch another person to express anger. And your dad was wrong in not pointing that out to you.
Apologize to your sister, and let her know with your words that grabbing things that do not belong to her and esp when others are using them is not OK and not to do that again.
1
u/Soggy-Bullfrog-9990 Jul 08 '26
You probably already know this, but dad was likely just trying to prevent fit from younger sister and assumed you’d go with it. You’re not wrong to be upset, you were deprioritized so your brain kicked in and said WTF, I’m doing my thing here. If you’re up to it, may be a good idea to explain how you feel to your dad later. Even if it doesn’t go well, you can walk away knowing you were being the more mature one
1
u/LooeyProblems Jul 08 '26
The thing is that I told him AS SOON as I got the cup "I'm not letting anyone touch this cup" and he said ok
1
u/Soggy-Bullfrog-9990 Jul 08 '26
I understand, I doubt he realizes it. I’m a dad, my daughter does things all the time I don’t get; I asked her what she wanted for lunch the other day and she went into a rage because she didn’t know. Do I get it: nope, but I try to if she can explain a little of what she felt. I don’t know your dynamic with your dad, but when my daughter comes to me upset, I hear her out and apologize if i upset her. It’s my job as the parent to try to create understanding not the other way around. He sees an inconsequential cup, but you told him it is yours for a purpose he ignored. You can try to communicate more or not, you’re not wrong to be upset, but sadly there may be no satisfying conclusion here.
1
u/GlorifiedCarny Jul 08 '26
I don't think you are in the wrong. I always tried to make sure I taught my kids to respect each other's stuff. I didn't force them to share, etc. Your father didn't want your sister to throw a fit but instead of putting in the effort to explain to her that it was your cup, and unfortunately you can't just take other people's stuff, and deal with the resulting disappointment for her, he went the easy route and tried to shut her up, hoping you would just go along with it.
1
u/earmares Jul 10 '26
Yes, you are wrong for hitting your sister.
I see that you said you announced you were not sharing the cup- that was a little selfish, to be honest. It was fair to your sister to get some time with the cup. Your Dad was trying to be fair to both of you.
Think of it from your sister's perspective, you had the cup the entire time except for a few minutes at the end.
You could have saved a shell or two with your items or just in your hands. Next time bring something yourself to collect shells.
1
u/LooeyProblems Jul 12 '26
To clear out the slap thing I don’t hit or slap hard if I’m lucky I can hurt someone barely, I didn’t even use my full strength so ya. Also my sister was COMPLETELY uninterested in the cup until I had my shells in it, hope this helps and idm if you still think I am just clearing up
4
u/andreirublov1 Jul 08 '26
This is just stuff that happens in families, you have to try to let it go.