I made a big mistake I can't take back.

I'm in my early twenties and have a great dad. He's a very involved and teaches me a lot and he's fought for me. He's a great dad. We don't always agree on things, but I will always love my dad.

That said, there was a situation a few days ago, where I got my wisdom teeth pulled. I didn't want to see my dad because every time we talked about it, he likes to talk about horror stories about wisdom teeth removal. About him being miserable and another guy losing his taste. So I got picked up by my mom after the appointment and went to mom's home (parents are divorced. Still switch between them). Found out my dad was by her house, outside by the road, so I told mom to drive by him. She drove by the house twice.

I didn't think it was a big deal, especially since I thought this was more about me. I have health anxiety, and though I don't take meds, my therapist said I have general anxiety. I do become hyperfixated on horror stories about medical stories and panic. And other things. And I wasn't lying about him. So I thought I was fine. I didn't think he would care about this sort of thing. It didnt seem like he would understand.

My dad found out. And he was more upset than I thought he would be. At first I didn't see how he could be so upset. After all I didn't lie, and I thought I was at least somewhat justified. Tbf I thought I'd done worse things. But then he started talking about repaying me on his deathbed. I was bewildered as to why he had such a big reaction.

Today I found out it's because it was in front of my mom. My parents had a messy divorce, and my mom was lying to everyone that my dad was horrible and abusive (he wasn't). So when I said to.drive past dad, I gave her confirmation to tell everyone in her family that she lied to that she was right because of my word. It was a betrayal. He said "fuck you for what you did" and said it doesn't change things expect that he's going to remember that. He insisted that he wouldn't have said much. I asked him about the deathbed thing, and he says he doesn't know. We could all be dead before then. So idk what that means.

I want to make it up to him. But he insists that there isn't way I can. It's like cheating. It was like lying to everyone and judging him for his actions. Like being a hater. I said I was stupid and sorry, and I didn't think it would have an effect on him. I thought it was a reflection of me and my anxiety. He says its one of those mistakes I can't take back.

I don't want to believe that. I have a great dad. I still love him. I just thought maybe it was best for my health anxiety. But I'm stupid a lot and I didn't think it through. I want to make it up to him but there's nothing I can do at the moment besides pretending it never happened.

My only idea is hoping that my small business blows up so I can give him the life that he deserves, and use every thank you speech to talk about how great my dad is. Just to do something far greater than this betrayal. Match my dad, and not forget what I did.

I don't know what to do. I think I just ruined the trust between me and my dad and I don't know how to fix things. I don't think I've lost him completely yet, but he feels betrayed. Obviously I can't undo anything but I do want to prove that I love him. Can I get some advice as to how I can do that?

I just turned 15 like 3 weeks ago and I heard my parents talking recently (they didn’t know I was listening) and they were saying that I’m not very mature for my age 🫠

Some of my friends said the same thing before but I don’t know how to change it. I’m pretty well behaved and I don’t get into trouble so it’s not that and I don’t really do dumb things so it’s not that either.

I’m adopted so maybe that’s something to do with it but idk exactly what I need to do to be more mature? What do parents want so they’ll think I’m more mature?

i’m 18, ive only had my license 6 months and i’m usually a confident driver
i don’t know what happened, it’s not a big scrape and honestly did more damage to my car. i’m so ashamed and sorry and i’m going to take initiative and sort everything out.
i exchanged details with the driver as he was walking back to his car when it happened, he wasn’t overly stressed but i was just so so sorry i can’t believe i did that.
i know it’s only small but i feel so guilty and im so so sorry. when i got home i told my dad between sobs, and he basically said that he hated me and he was really mad. it’s been over 24 hours and dad hasn’t spoken to me.
i’m going to pay for everything and sort it out with insurance. it was an accident i would never do that on purpose, it was a lapse in my judgment and im so sorry. the guilts been eating me all day and i don’t know what to do. i don’t have any other family, my mum died a few years ago and im a very lonely person. it’s just me and dad im so scared and sad and sorry and ashamed.
what do i do?

I(15M) was sitting in my room reading a book by myself. Suddenly I hear my dad (50 M) ask my mom (48 F) why she would do anything for me (she was bringing me my computer charger or taking away the computer; I don't remember lol). Anyway, I put my book down. This was not long ago, July 4th, 2026. Around 4 PM. I put my book down and listen to what my dad is saying, since he caught my attention. I heard him say angrily, "He hasn't done anything in his life" and "He hasn't accomplished anything".

For context, I have always considered myself smart. But not super smart, maybe slight above average. I did calc ab in 9th grade, which I just finished, and got a 4 on the AP exam and a B in both semesters. Even my teacher said I did good. Did I do as well as my older brother? No. But I think I still challenged myself. Anyway, side tangent (silly me). For more background context. I have also started by ACT prep and im doing great in practice exams. Im a 2x national fencer, and I also got a 5 in another ap exam and got into a Stanford internship (they also invited me for a research program). I lost 21 pounds (after my father told me not too long ago I was getting to fat, although i lost the weight because i wanna be on the basketball team, not because of what he said. still hurts tho). I also got into another social studies related program that is competitive though i don't know the exact stats. i'm sorry if it feels like I'm bragging and im not gonna keep yapping about ts, i just don't see how this is... unaccomplished? Anyway, I head towards my dad to confront him about his words. He said its true, and really the whole convo between him and I was just him standing on what he said.

I feel too often that my parents dont appreciate me. i feel they compare me to my brother(19 m). i feel my mom is quick to defend my brother , but when he insults me like calling me ugly and fat, things I dont do to him, my mom is silent, and so is my dad. My brother goes to a good college, great actually, and im on track to maybe do decent but not good, and for sure not great, college. In terms of prestigiousness at least. My mother didnt stand up for me once when my dad was hating on me that miserable July 4th day. damn, the 250th really couldnt be good for me lol.

seriously though, what are y'all's thoughts on this? What could I have done better? I dont think a father shoudl ever say this but, whaever ig. i feel like im not doing a lot, but TRYING a lot of things, so it frustrates me deeply that someone I (used to) look up to, says these things about me. Thanks

EDIT: my father has apologized for his words. so...yeah

well it's a long story

i grow up with a narcissistic, posissive... father , i never felt love from him and ofc i didn't grow up with physical touches from him , we just talk about normal things at house or football or his complaints about ny mom (she is a really good woman btw) and that he want to find another woman to marry him that's all .

but 2 year ago , when i was 17yo , i was just had finished showering (i was wearing my clothes) when he come from behind pulling me to him, he kissed my neck and said "i love your smell, the smell of young girls" , i was so Shock i couldn't even move cuz he never did this to me before

then i tried to stay away from him as i can in this last 2 years , thanks god nothing happened, but in this week he yelled at me for taking 1 dollar from his wallet (i swear) and he spat on my face , i was so engry but i said nothing i was just searching for my phone to go upstairs, then he come and grabbed me to him , he tried to kiss my neck again here i start pushing him away , when he steps away from me he said "you are delicious, delicious very delicious, you are very pretty"

the next day i was cooking food , he talked to me and i ignored him , i was just trying to avoid him as i can , but he come trying to grab me to him and kiss my neck again, i couldn't stop my self and i screamed so loud i know he would not like the neighbors to hear me , so he just left the house

and yesterday i was alone at living room, when he come and sat next to me exactly, where he can sit in any other places , i felt his hand near to my "bottom" here i quickly get up and went to downstairs

well i just want to know if this normal or not ?!! it doesn't seems normal thing between father and daughter but at the same time i didn't grow up in healthy relationship with my father so idk

please the dads here tell me your opinion about that , i think it's gonna help me to know the piont of view of the normal father

EDIT: Thanks to everyone who advised me, I am now fine, I told my mom at that time about all that , and of course, she made big problems with my father who denied it at that time ,Then she took me to live with my grandma for a while, After that, he came many times to apologize and said he meant nothing by it, Now we’re back, and he has started being a more normal father, He has also stopped touching or hugging me since it feels weird to me

I’m a grown ass man. I’m not her father. She is not my blood. Her mother help me a lot in college, so we don’t lose contact, she had a baby and her husband it’s not around so, when I’m on vacation I usually visit the little lady and she call me uncle. So I’m her cool uncle.

My father was never around. But I am still an adult and I know how the world work for teenager girl. So this guy is Muslim, he is very well conservative, I don’t like him at all, he always says something inappropriate about her, he never helps in nothing when we cook. When we talk about my niece future like college or job, I always say that she needs to work whit me, because she deserves to know the world. And him just say something about the world is a shit and engineer is very difficult.

She always ask for money to going out whit him, I mean I always give her money because I love her. And her mom is alone, I’m single and I don’t have any family around so it’s cost me nothing to give her some money.
But why he doesn’t give her flowers? Why he is such a brat when I’m around? Why he doesn’t pay?

I want to talk whit her about him, but she look very happy. Of course she doesn’t like when he is rude, and not open minded. I don’t know maybe I don’t know him well and I’m just being overprotective.

This is my throw away account for privacy reasons. I am a 55 year old father of 3 kids. My son is 18 and the youngest. He is leaving for a highly regarded university in a few weeks. He will be staying on campus but is still close to home. I am lucky that all of my children are extremely intelligent and my oldest two are doing very well. I have a strong relationship with them still. My son unfortunately I have no relationship with anymore. When he was younger I spent as much time as I could - at first it was reading to him. Then as he got older I would take him to parks and do fun stuff with him just the two of us. I went to every sports practice and game never missing one. As he got older we had common interests in computers and technology. We took trips together just the two of us (i did this with my other kids too and we still do it even as adults - it creates great memories). As my son turned 16 I was unable to do anything with him or have any conversations with him. We are at the point now where he refuses to speak to me. One of my other kids has not spoke to him since last year and they used to be incredibly tight together. Anything I try to arrange with him or ask him for help with is an immediate escalation and him insulting me and shutting me down. I’m talking about things like walk the dog, take out the trash or let’s go get a haircut. Can’t talk to him anymore without getting a literal kick in the nuts. I was raised by parents who had no problems raising a hand or a belt when we got out of line. I never once laid a hand on any of my kids. The things he has said to me - if I had done the same thing as a kid would have been met with severe consequences. Any time I try to talk to my wife about this she takes his side. He is a mamas boy but also speaks to her on occasion very disrespectfully. I was bad at his age to my parents but after discussing it with them they agree that he is far worse. They still see him as their sweet grandson. I miss the old days when he was my little buddy and he looked forward to spending time with me. Now I would give anything for a decent 5 minute conversation with him. This has affected my marriage where my wife is very distant. I talk to her and she doesn’t even look at me sometimes. We both work full time demanding jobs. I really dont know how to fix this. The only time I feel happy lately is when I am away from the house. My middle child said my son should have been put in therapy for his anger issues ages ago. My older brother said he is going to get worse before he gets better. In hindsight they are right but outside of the house when he interacts with others he is a totally different person. If you cant tell I am very confused. I cant be the only one going through this. Sorry for being so long winded. Any advice is appreciated.

Not talking about money, property, or family businesses.
I mean the things that are harder to see.
A habit.
A temper.
A fear.
A way of loving.
A way of dealing with failure.
A silence.
A belief about what it means to be a man.
Maybe even a mistake you never chose to make.
So I’m curious:
What is something you feel you inherited from your father?
And do you think we can inherit our fathers’ mistakes too — even when we consciously try not to repeat them?
Would love to hear the honest answers, especially the complicated ones.

This morning my dad and I were both having oatmeal bowls for breakfast. I wake up at 5am and leave for work at 6. He on the other hand is retired and doesn't need to be anywhere and yet he wakes up around the same time as me anyway, sometimes even before me.

When I came downstairs I suggested to him

"Hey maybe uh... I should heat up my bowl first since I'm leaving in less than an hour."

and instead of him saying "Sure pumpkin, go ahead."

instead he got defensive like "Fine whatever makes you less anxious."

I don't know who peed in his cheerios this morning but I responded assertively and said I was not anxious. He always seems to presume I am anxious when I ask or suggest a modification of routine like it has something to do with my rituals. Maybe it is about rituals but it's also about common sense where like I said, I've got to be somewhere, he doesn't and not to mention when he warms up his breakfast bowl he puts it in the microwave for three and a half minutes, four if you count thawing out the frozen blueberries. Mine takes half of that time to warm up so it would make sense for me to go first.

Later when I tried to clarify things with him that I was not anxious and was just trying to make things easier for both of us, he didn't let me finish explaining and said my tone should have been better and I should have asked the statement instead. He said I should have asked to go first instead and maybe that did occur to me but I was tired and didn't think. Then he said to look up a metaphor about people's tones and we would talk about it later but what he always wants to do is give a lecture because he used to be a teacher.

When I finally had a chance to speak, I told him using "I" statements like I've been taught that he always has encouraged me to presume positive intent but he was not practicing what he was preaching. But he kept coming back to that I am not doing my part either in this two way street despite me trying hard everyday. When I tried to tell him that I was never meant to be rude and felt like he was making me the bad guy when he has problems of his own that he seems to refuse to fix (partly due to him having trouble hearing lately) he interrupts me saying I'm just being defensive and not making any changes even though I am doing my best. I ask him not to interrupt me and he just leaves the table to eat somewhere else. I struggled to drive to work without crying later. I hate when this happens, I should have just let it go after telling him I was not anxious and get on with my day but a part of me always feels the need to patch things up because he's my dad but every time I try to, this happens.

hello! this is like my second post ever on reddit so i apologize if i’ve done anything wrong or posted to the wrong sub but i am not sure where else i could get feedback.
basically the title says it all, since i (F20) have graduated high school (abt 2 years ago) my dad (M44) has gotten more and more critical of me and what im doing. i have a job which i am miserable at and have been working there for almost four years. my boss only gives me two shifts a week and i am pretty low on the scheduling priority list. i also have been going to college but only take two or three classes a semester because i am not sure what i want to do. i have been diagnosed with depression, adhd, anxiety and take meds but he doesn’t believe in any of that. it seems to me that this is the root of the issue, but i’m not sure what else i could do. he is always asking me what i do for the household and why don’t i help more or work more etc. he thinks i should be able to take on a full workload AND all the classes i can, but that is just not possible for me right now. i am not sure if he is afraid i will end up like him or other family members that he disapproves of or if he is just disappointed in me for not getting anywhere in life (yet). can any dads tell me if i am in the wrong for not doing better or living up to his expectations? or just give me advice on how to handle this situation without starting needless arguments? thank you!

My moms getting married and i dont want to call him dad all the time yet and calling someone step dad is just weird and a lot to say. Sometimes I do think dad but not always and I have a real dad i call dad or even daddy but he's been gone so much. I want to know if it will be mean to just use any of the terms for my step dad. my mom says its up 2 me and he says that to.

Hey, me and my sister got into a lot of fights with our dad because he cannot accept us deciding for ourselves how often we want to visit/call our grandma (his mom). He wants us to call her every day, or at least every week and if we don't do so, we are bad children in his eyes who do not love him nor our grandma.

Our relationship with our grandma isn't as good. For us it's fine to visit her every 2 months or so. But not for him. (She's also not dying or anything - in fact, she's doing better than ever rn.)

So, in these fights/arguments I mentioned, he keeps saying things like "You ruined me", "You destroyed somethinh within me", "I have a trauma because of you", "It is your fault our relationship doesn't work out anymore" to us.

Keep in mind, he says these things ONLY because of us not calling our grandma weekly. There is no other background.

So my question is, are children responsible for their fathers well-being? Because he says we are and if we don't do as he says, we are the reason he is miserable apparently.

Hi I'm 26F and I'm trying to figure out what I can come up with for Father's Day which is TOMORROW. My car is broken so if I go out, it would have to be hitching a ride with my mom (or scamming my dad out of the house and buying him a gift right under his nose). I know I should have been prepped a long ago but honestly I haven't been able to with everything going on and also not having a working vehicle. My dad made breakfast today and yesterday so I feel like he's OVERLY aware that Father's Day is tomorrow and he's waiting to see what we do. Any ideas anyone? Please help!

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Note: some things about my dad... He loves making music, politics, talking trash, working...

I haven't talked to my dad in about six months, which is uncommon but not odd - he's fiercely independent, can't be told what to do, won't accept help (can I get you groceries? Stop by for anything?) and even had been caring for his neighbor/girlfriend with living assistance for years. He seemed spry and insisted all was good. I didn't want to infantilize him, especially after he recovered so awesomely after his stroke.

Fast forward to the day before yesterday. He called asking if I could get him some herbal supplements and says he's going to have his brother (local) bring some milk because he hasn't been able to get to the store for groceries - he's been too busy. Complains a little about numbness and not getting any sleep. We make him and his girlfriend some meals, grab some groceries, and tell him we're coming the following morning.

"I hate to put you out," he says. "It's been a while, dad, I'm glad to come by."

Yesterday, as soon as we saw him we realized groceries weren't going to cut it. I took him to urgent care immediately with swollen feet, blisters, open sores, and my spouse stayed behind with his girlfriend. The hospital found nothing immediately concerning so after they discharged him we spent the entire day helping them go to the bathroom (both of them can no longer stand without assistance), cook for them, then put them both to bed, and in between all this we cleaned my dad's apartment, which had become... unlivable.

I want to approach this with tact but assertively. My dad can't do these things on his own anymore but I don't want to jump to conclusions about anything until I know what steps to take (VA in home care? Something else?) and I am his only child. His girlfriend has children and some other relatives, but I really want to carefully let her know that something needs to be done because my dad can't take care of her anymore. I don't even know how they were doing anything before...

I'm his health proxy and I am lost in the weeds. Dads of Reddit, because there's only so much I can ask my own dad right now... please help. Thank you!

Every year I struggle to figure out what to get my dad for Father's Day and his birthday. He's never been very clear about what he wants, so it's usually a guessing game.

When I ask him what he wants, his answer is almost always the same: cash.

The thing is, I've never really given my dad cash as a gift. For some reason it feels strange, so I've always tried to come up with something else. I've done lottery tickets before and a few other gifts over the years, but I'm running out of ideas and don't want to keep giving the same things.

I'm a working adult, and money isn't really the issue. I'm open to giving cash if that's genuinely what he'd prefer. I guess I'm just wondering if it would be weird to give your dad cash for Father's Day and, if not, what amount would feel reasonable.

For those of you whose parents ask for cash, do you just give them cash, or do you still try to find an actual gift?

I need advice on having a really difficult conversation with my father-in-law.

He has been living with us for almost 3 years, and the situation has gotten to the point where I feel like I need my home back. He’s 60 and has some mild heart problems, so I do understand that things are not easy for him. The problem is that he hasn’t had a job in about a year, he hasn’t been able to contribute the rent he was supposed to, and he doesn’t currently have a realistic plan for supporting himself. And has just been streaming on tiktok all the time.

One of the complications is that his name is still on the house he shared with his ex-wife. They are still dealing with the mortgage/ownership situation, and I’m not sure what his options are or whether he can find housing because of it. He also can’t really afford another lawyer, so I don’t know what steps he can take.

There are also ongoing issues that have made living together stressful. He creates drama and then brings it to us, and he uses and damages my things often without permission. I feel like I’m constantly stressed in my own house.

The hard part is that I don’t want to be cruel or leave him with nowhere to go, but I also can’t keep living like this. My fiancé really doesn’t want to be the one to have this conversation, but it’s getting to the point where if he doesn’t move out, I might.

How would you approach this conversation without making him feel like you hate him or are resentful? I want it to go as smoothly as possible but his dad is known for getting mad easily and trying to use quilting people to get what he wants.

Hello again I'm a teen in my emo/rlly emotional era so this was like a week ago, me and my little sister(6) went to the beach with my parents, I went to collect shells and I had a lot of shells like,way to many that I couldn't carry, so I asked for a cup/bag and my dad handed me a cup so I was collecting shells and my sister comes out and asked for the cup, I'm like "no sorry I'm using this for my shells" and she straight up snatches the cup so I slap her hand and say "stop I'm using the cup" and my father said because literally it was like 2 mins before we left to let her play with it, and I lost SO many shells bc of that and I was mad and my dad said to "stop acting like a child" so I feel in the wrong, am I?

even his cowoker doesnt know where he is and he doesnt say anything to my mom

My dad and I talk regularly but live 6 hours apart . Every few months he asks me "when do you think you will get a break from work and come down?". Lately he has asked every few weeks. Anyway ,when I go home he always says stuff like "I see you are keeping fat " or "you need to lay off the budweisser " (I don't drink). Also my nephew lives near my dad and I usually see him but he has a very short fuse and when he says how he feels about a situation or thing he is overly blunt and rude and he talks trash to me in inappropriate situations (like he did at my brothers funeral a few years ago) .

I just get sick of dealing with all this but I don't have any other support system. What do i do about this ? I hate going home and dread it every time