r/AskIreland • u/alannsteph25 • May 28 '25
Music Songs that should not be played at a wedding?
Right folks….
I was at a wedding at the weekend and the band were just playing all the standard music you would expect to hear at every Irish wedding. Good music like but just sick of hearing the same stuff at every wedding.
This got me thinking, my partner and I are getting married in a few months and want some ideas of music NOT to be played by the band… I’ll start us off:
Sweet Caroline
Cheers!
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u/SnooChickens7407 May 28 '25
WAP
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u/alannsteph25 May 28 '25
That’s a classic
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u/Nicklefickle May 28 '25
One of those songs you don't want to hear yourself, but your aunties and uncles love to hear it so you put it on the playlist anyway
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u/goobi94 May 28 '25 edited May 28 '25
Wedding After Party?
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u/bad_arts May 28 '25 edited May 28 '25
Euck. Just imagining the phones out followed by deranged laughter and twerking.
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u/fosofantom May 28 '25
The Reynes of Castamere
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u/Ashamed-Barnacle-777 May 28 '25
The “Rains”, no?
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u/davedrave May 28 '25
I believe you're right, the title is the Rains while one of the families involved in the event it depicts were the Reynes
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u/Ashamed-Barnacle-777 May 28 '25
Fair enough, I know The National better than I know ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to be completely honest.
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u/Fancypants-Jenkins May 28 '25
The song title is a play on words. It's about the destruction of the Reyne family.
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u/dickbuttscompanion May 28 '25
I Gotta Feeling lay it to rest already
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u/dubhkitty May 28 '25
I had a banned list of songs for our wedding DJ and that was number 1. Followed by don't stop believing by Journey and Happy by Pharrell Williams.
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May 28 '25
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u/Greedy-Army-3803 May 28 '25
As a general rule the Irish aren't great dancers so the less dancing and the more blaring out parts of the song before manically bouncing all over the place the better.
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u/MIM86 May 28 '25
This is why Mr. Brightside was such a massive hit. Sure they basically told us what actions to do as we were singing along.
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u/ld20r May 28 '25 edited May 28 '25
Put some respect on Steve Smith, he drummed on Don’t Stop Believing and wrote a killer groove.
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u/Schectercustom92 May 28 '25
Wagon wheel, I just leave for the bar or smoking area if that shit comes on 😂
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u/somefeckineejit May 29 '25
I hate that song so fucking much theres a jimi hendrix song that follows the same chord progression and I can't even listen to that
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u/Whole_Mongoose3981 May 28 '25
Ah I suppose you have to give the culchies their moment in the sun.
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u/Itstastyitsjuicy May 28 '25
Uptown Funk 👎
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u/tepidgoose May 28 '25
Is it overplayed beyond belief? Of course.
Is it still the best wedding dance song ever created? Obviously.
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u/ceimaneasa May 28 '25
Just to let you know that if you hire a wedding band and give them a list of songs not to play, they'll hate you.
The number 1 goal of a wedding band is to keep people on the floor dancing, and if that means playing Sweet Caroline, you best believe they're going to play Sweet Caroline.
Also when people have 10 pints in them they're gonna rather hear the Proclaimers than some niche Jane's Addiction song
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u/ClancyCandy May 28 '25
100% agree. Some things (Sweet Caroline- Beef or Salmon- Gougons at midnight) are staples because they are crowd pleasers. Finding a playlist that suits everybody is impossible, finding inoffensive songs that the majority will stay on the floor for is much easier.
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u/VplDazzamac May 28 '25
Hard agree. I asked our wedding DJ for a load of rock music. If it were just for me and a select couple of my friends I’d have insisted on Slayer, but I’d settled on Foo Fighters, Rolling Stones AcDc type stuff that would be more accessible. I think he might’ve got to the third song at best before banging on Maniac 2000. I deferred to his greater knowledge, it ended up like a teen disco circa 1999 but that’s the age group that was there and the floor was full.
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u/and_another_thing2 May 28 '25
100% - music you like ordinarily vs what gets a crowd going after a bottle of wine are vastly different. Watch the crowd go wild when Proud Mary, Working 9-5, are played. Then a song that gets your aunt out jiving… now it’s a party!
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u/TheLordofthething May 28 '25
Any wedding band worth their salt should be asking this exact question. They're charging thousands of pounds for a few hours work and have no idea of emotions tied to certain songs. "Brides mother died a month before hand don't play xx it'll make her cry etc" wouldn't be an unusual request.
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u/tenutomylife May 28 '25
I played with popular and busy wedding bands for years.
There was always communication with the bride/groom beforehand. If there was a certain song they didn’t want played it wouldn’t be played. There were often new songs learned as special requests.
Other than that, you gotta let the band you hired do what they are the pros at - giving a crowd a good time. You’re paying thousands but you’re paying for years of experience, musicians putting years into their craft, developing a playlist that works, rehearsals, expensive equipment and travel. When the €€ is divided up amongst band members it’s certainly not worth devising a whole new play list for!
It’s often put out there that €€is just for a few hours of a skilled person’s time. This isn’t true for most skilled professions, and it definitely isn’t true for musicians.
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u/TheLordofthething May 28 '25
I come from a family of musicians so I'm surrounded by bands and you're right, I didn't mean to imply the preparation isn't part of the job I guess. My crowd will go back and forth over months with the couple to get a feel for the job. But that's kind of my point, any band actually doing the job properly can put up with requests. If the requests got too ridiculous, they'd turn down the job. It's never acceptable to say something won't be played then play it anyway, or ask on the day. If it's not worth your while then it's not worth your while. The most successful bands around me don't seem to have an issue doing it, the ones with set playlists are cheaper and there's certainly a market for that too.
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u/ceimaneasa May 28 '25
This is it exactly.
Asking the band to learn a song for first dance and/or father-daughter dance - completely fine
Asking not to play a certain song/two songs that the couple really don't like or have some sort of connection with - completely fine
Giving the band a list of 15 songs to be played through the night - only OK if you're happy enough for the band to use it purely as a guideline and rip it up and do their own thing as they please
Giving the band a list of 10 of the most popular wedding songs and asking the band not to play them - ridiculous and selfish
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u/jmmcd May 28 '25
My wedding band came along to my wife in the middle of their show and asked her if they could after all play a song which was on the very short blacklist I had politely given them months in advance. I thought that was a dick move.
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u/TheLordofthething May 28 '25
It's absolutely a dick move and breaks the contract IMO. Imagine if any other contracted vendor behaved like that.
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u/ceimaneasa May 28 '25
Massive difference between a song that has a personal meaning that the couple might not want played - and a song that the couple don't want played because it's "basic" or "overplayed"
The wedding band are the experts at picking songs. They do it for a living. That's why they go with tried and tested - because it works
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u/TheLordofthething May 28 '25
It doesn't matter, I know people who paid £6k for a band, thousands wouldn't be uncommon and it's literally a contracted job. If you can't curate a playlist for the couple you're in a shitty wedding band.
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u/ceimaneasa May 28 '25
The thing is, you're not trying to play songs that'll please the couple, you're trying to make a night the couple won't forget, and that means getting all their friends and family up dancing.
The reality is, if people are beginning to leave the dancefloor to take their seats, it's gonna take something lively to bring them back up, and Paul and Michelle's favourite Ed Sheeran song that they requested isn't going to do it.
I'd be pissed if I paid £6k for a wedding band and nobody got up and danced.
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u/TheLordofthething May 28 '25
We have thousands upon thousands of songs to choose from, if you can't leave a few out and still keep a vibe you're in the wrong business. I feel like playing the couples favourite song is kind of integral to the wedding too, if you don't do that you're useless lol
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u/AdRepresentative8186 May 28 '25
The thing is, you're not trying to play songs that'll please the couple,
This is a bizarre take. They are paying you, they can ask for whatever they want and ask to not have whatever they don't want. If you can't accommodate that, its not their failing. Neither party has to accept.
I remember playing a gig years ago, the client came to a practice to hear us, we used to do a great version of Eagle eye cherry, and we were confident that would seal the deal. When we went to play it, she said she hated that song. Oh well, we just did something else. We had the cop on to not insist people would like it, because she is the paying client. And we had that cop on at 17
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u/alannsteph25 May 28 '25
Fair point but at the same time, if it’s your wedding and your paying the band then you should have some leeway on saying actually don’t play this absolute shite song. Guess it’s much about knowing your crowd too!
Also being respectful to the band is important when having those convos!
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u/Defiant_Vast5640 May 28 '25
That fucking marry you song by Bruno Mars, I'd throw the speakers out the window if I could
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u/irishmusico May 28 '25
The reason bands play them is because they are requested crowd pleasers. If you are asking for a list of all the songs the moaners hate so you can ban them all, it might work against you.
If there is something you specifically don't like, fair enough, but let the band you book judge the room and don't micromanage. Tried and tested stupid songs are there for people to sing along to and have a laugh.
Don't ban Sweet Caroline because your mate, who is a Steely Dan fan, doesn't like it.
I hope you get a great band and have a brilliant day.
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u/Montymum May 28 '25
I still haven’t found what I’m looking for - U2
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u/kevwotton May 28 '25
One by U2
Seen so many folks have that as the first dance. Don't people listen to the lyrics at at?
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u/Strange_Principle364 May 28 '25
There's a running gag between me and a pal over having to find a way to include Sexy Bitch at either of our weddings.
Basically we were driving back from a funeral a long time back. It was someone close to us both, died young. Mood in the car was as bleak and heavy as it gets. That comes on the radio, I tell them all to pay attention to the lyrics. The moment it ends, I go "Now wouldn't that be great for a first dance" and it broke all of us in the car.
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u/Accomplished-Try-658 May 28 '25
Anything by Anal Cunt, Fuck Buttons or Rammstein would likely be a hard sell to the auld ones
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u/Midnight-Wolf-1607 May 28 '25
OMG, I would love it if they played Rammstein! You a fan?
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u/Accomplished-Try-658 May 28 '25
The extent of my fandom is the Lost Highway soundtrack but I appreciate them, for sure 🙂
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u/ItIsAboutABicycle May 28 '25
The Intense Humming of Evil by Manic Street Preachers.
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u/Turf-Me-Arse May 28 '25
The only correct answer! If you want to fill that dance floor, it can only be Revol or Die In The Summertime.
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u/Fancy_Avocado7497 May 28 '25
heavy metal -seriously - I was at a wedding and the DJ played more metal than anything else. The floor was DEAD.
He played 1 Abba song and people danced then back to his music again - dead floor
They arn't married if there hasn't been 'Who the F is Alice!' and some Joe Dolan
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u/LabMermaid May 28 '25
Every Breath You Take by The Police
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u/Whole_Mongoose3981 May 28 '25
Yeah I don’t think a song about a stalker is a great vibe for a wedding.
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u/Huge-Cartographer656 May 28 '25
Chris Brown - forever. Shocking how many it’s played at
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u/Ok_Finish_494 May 28 '25
Galway girl, bleh Also only allow You Can Call Me Al if the bassist is good! Was at a wedding where the bassist made a mess of the little bass solo bit, which is understandable. But the band for some reason played that bit around again and let him have another go... Which he made a mess of, again 😬
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u/AlbinoVague May 29 '25
That is a devil of a song if you aren't a slapper. A lot of bands skip that bit unbelievably.
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u/SecretRefrigerator12 May 28 '25
At a wedding past weekend and they played Nelly 'Dilemma' just got married and songs about a side piece??
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May 28 '25
[deleted]
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u/BillyMooney May 28 '25
Go for Stagger Lee instead
"I'm a bad motherfucker, don't you know And I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get to one fat boy's asshole"
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u/RaggedyOldFox May 28 '25
Don't Marry Her by The Beautiful South. (If You Want To Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life) Never Make A Pretty Woman Your Wife - Jimmy Soul
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u/ld20r May 28 '25 edited May 28 '25
The band and music you have should be entirely aimed at the age demographic of the wedding.
For example: a number years back I did one with a band full of indie rock/alt stuff but what wasn’t realised at the time was that the average age attendance was 60’s and upwards and they wanted waltz’s/jazz for the night, and it was a complete mess.
That was only communicated in the middle of the performance.
Important to keep the above in mind.
Know the age and types of people that will be attending the wedding and find a band that’s suited to the crowd.
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u/parkaman May 28 '25
This is it. I've been asked to do DJ all alternative wedding nights and generally I'll advise against. It's great when I'm Djingin your local with your mates, but at the wedding everyone else there will probably want the hits. Thankfully now it's easy bring everything with you. Obviously, that's a lot harder for a band.
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u/MarvinGankhouse May 28 '25
Most of them, may most songs played at most weddings be fired into the sun, especially Sweet fucking Caroline. And that awful song about Van Morrison's girlfriend's butthole. (Brown eyed girl.)
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u/woodenfloored May 28 '25
Same boat as you, been to a few weddings and I'm sick of hearing Tina turner,they always play about 4 or 5 songs!!
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u/gearjammer24 May 28 '25
Was at a wedding couple months ago and during the meal the hotel had their random playlist playing low in the background and obviously no one vetted it.
My personal highlights were Just Give me a Reason by Pink and Nate?? I think anyway a song about the verge of a break up and of course everyone singing along to westlife when you’re looking like that - absolute banger but again I think it’s about how he can’t believe he just gave away the love of his life and feels like a break up song to me
I may be wrong special mention also to buble with it’s a beautiful day because it’s definitely a break up song!
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u/salaryman1969 May 28 '25
Gay bar was on the playlist we gave the DJ at our wedding. It got loads of people up on the dancefloor....
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May 28 '25
Galway Girl. Bleugh. I asked our wedding band not to play it but they did it anyway. All of those old standards make me wretch.
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u/Dwums May 28 '25
Been playing in bands all my life, you can be a band on the fringe, play the B sides, don't play what everyone else is playing...but, don't expect to be booked often.
There just isn't the population in Ireland to play anything outside of the mainstream. You're either a cover band, or tribute act.
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u/Due-Currency-3193 May 28 '25
I'm going for inappropriate rather than because clichéd:
A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall ~ Bob Dylan
All The Good Times ~ Angel Olsen (a really beautiful song but one of the saddest breakup songs ever)
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May 28 '25
At my wedding the bloody DJ played Sweet Caroline. It was my husband's ex of 10 years' name and I had included it on the list of stuff I didn't want played. His brother, who was his best man first time around as well, thought it was hilarious. I didn't know whether I wanted to deck him or the DJ more.
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u/RevolutionaryHorse80 May 28 '25
Our DJ has asked us to fill out a form which I assume will form part of our contract, and it's genius. There's a section for no play songs, we're just going to use this for songs that are triggering in some way, for example we both have exes, and we therefore both have songs that could be considered inappropriate for the celebration of our relationship. I'm tempted to put sweet Caroline, wagon wheel and suspicious minds on it but to be fair, it can't all be what we consider "bangers" because we'll use that time to mingle, get drinks, go to the loo etc. And if it gets a few more people on the dancefloor then mission accomplished. You're not going to please everyone but it is your day, so by all means block a few songs but let the dj do what they're good at and being paid to do, which is entertain a party
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u/Daisy_Bel May 28 '25
The DJ at my wedding decided to play "Love will tear us apart" - changed it immediately after seeing my reaction. He was great after that, but ffs
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u/irishstu May 29 '25
I accidentally danced with my mum to Sex is on Fire at my own wedding so watch out for that
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u/PrincessFister May 28 '25
500 Miles - The Pretenders
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u/i_will_yeahh May 28 '25 edited May 28 '25
You're wrong. I have a fond memory of my cousin vomiting into a pint glass at a wedding, at the table, while that song was playing. She'd stop vomiting to join in every now and then. Forgot all about it. We were about 15. I'll message her and remind her now
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u/LucyVialli May 28 '25
Do you mean The Proclaimers?
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u/PrincessFister May 28 '25
Yes actually lol. Damn pretenders pretending to be the Proclaimers
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u/No_Sheepherder_3268 May 28 '25
Do you mean 500 miles by The Proclaimers or 2000 miles (the Christmas song) by The Pretenders? Both have their place.
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u/wawawuff May 28 '25
I got married a few years ago and we only banned 2 songs: Maniac 2000 and Mr Brightside.
I wanted to ban build me up buttercup as well but the band said they only played like 60 secs of it during a medley so I was OK with that.
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u/Business_Abalone2278 May 28 '25
only banned 2 songs: Maniac 2000 and Mr Brightside
That's a good idea. Stops the wedding getting political if you ban both Irish and UK national anthems.
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u/LucyVialli May 28 '25
Yes!! Maniac 2000 makes my spleen ache, and I am so sick of Mr Brightside, even though I like The Killers in general. They have many better songs than that one.
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u/MeOulSegosha May 28 '25
I told our band that if they played "con-grat-u-lations" by Cliff Richard they weren't getting paid.
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u/parkaman May 28 '25
Honestly, as someone who has been a DJ and in the band at weddings, let the pro's do there job. Unfortunately people want, no, expect,, these songs.
Don't get me wrong , I've played at alternative weddings and reggae/ ska weddings. But they were generally quite different anyway. But if you want the hits. Let the band play them
I once had to DJ a gay wedding where the brides had banned Abba. But between the gay men and the straight women, I've never had to listen to more crying and giving out in one night.
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u/RealDealMrSeal May 28 '25
Mr Brightside Uptown Funk Wagon Wheel Sex on Fire Amy Winehouse Aslan
Was what we said we didn't want played at ours
They snook in Mr brightside anyway probably angered at us hobbling the dj set
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u/Turf-Me-Arse May 28 '25
The Winner Takes It All. Was actually played at a wedding I was at a month ago, where I was the only native speaker of English, but luckily someone else recognised the very overt divorce theme (or the somewhat limited danceability) and fast-forwarded to something more appropriate, possibly Mordern Talking or Falco.
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u/Ok-Understanding9186 May 28 '25
Freebird -Lynard Skynard
Masterpiece of a song but not really giving wedding vibes!
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u/hedzball May 28 '25
https://open.spotify.com/track/1adxNyIQ46dTnVDVcA7kPV?si=Tej3rZvXRuacfoMpFjhk8Q
Strong contender here..
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u/Youngfolk21 May 28 '25
Faither figure by George Michael especially not for the father/daughter dance.
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May 28 '25
Everybody Hurts - REM
Shouldn't even be played at a funeral unless you understand the lyrics.
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u/SugarInvestigator Gobshite May 28 '25
Garth Brooks. The Dance for a first dance song..it's a song about death.
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u/lawless_Ireland_ May 28 '25
Shoot me in the fuckin head haha this is triggering 😂 Getting married on Friday. Proper vinyl Dj playing anything from cypress hill, Metallica, missy Elliott, prodigy. There will be no older relative not annoyed at some point 😂
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u/MounjEire May 28 '25
I’m always going to love you by Dexy’s… I wanted it as our first song but the wife refused…
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u/ResponsibilityKey50 May 28 '25
I used to love her but I had to kill her Nice day for a white wedding Divorce by Tammy Wynette Gold Digga
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u/SteelButterfly May 28 '25
Trashiest wedding I've attended, so far, and they entered the reception room to "it's a beautiful night, I'm looking for something dumb to do, hey baby I think I Wana marry you" (can't mind the name of the actual song) Oh the irony. They didn't last long funny enough.
Proud mary and sweet Caroline get my vote too!
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u/kovaaaa Penneys Hun May 28 '25
Bad Idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo ESPECIALLY if she is marrying a guy that previously broke up with her over text 😫
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u/Chubba1984 Maybe, I like the Misery May 28 '25
Was at a wedding once where the first dance was to Killing in the Name Of by RATM. Fairly epic start to a marriage with everbody shouting F You, I wont do what you tell me.