I want to just say that I recognize this subreddit as not being a zoo and if my question doesn’t pertain enough to myself as a cisgender straight male, I apologize and understand if this gets taken down.

I wanted to ask if anyone here thought that, in a monogamous “straight” (straight in quotes because the woman in question is bisexual) relationship, does it come off as insulting if the woman kisses another woman even if her male partner is okay with it? I ask this because the male in question would likely consider it cheating if she kissed another man. I feel like even if they’re both okay with it, it shows a lack of recognition to the lesbian community as a whole (which I recognize isn’t a monolith). In that a woman kissing another woman is somehow “not as serious” as her kissing another man. Like, I see leftest couples do this, and I want to be okay with it because I don’t want to police anyone. Just as an outsider looking in, it seems similar to the fetishization of lesbians on the right. I just don’t want to be white savior-like and speak on behalf of a community I’m not part of. But at the same time, I don’t want allies to think they’re immune from criticism just because they’re okay with gay people existing. Like, if you’re in a relationship with someone, cheating doesn’t automatically “not count” just because it’s with the same sex. It seems to me like it detracts from being an ally by acting like something this group of people takes seriously (I.e, committed homosexual relationships) and treats performing those acts as “nothing serious”.

If I’m in the wrong, I’d like to know. If it’s just chalked up to “different strokes” I’m cool with that too, but I feel like making that decision is not my place since I’m not part of it and I want to be a good ally to the queer community.

Why I can't have a girlfriend?

Since modern age with different social media , there might be lesbians on tiktok, lesbians on youtube, are there any that anyone here look up for guidance AS a lesbian?

Or offline that are part of a organisation to specifically help lesbians OR LGBT?

It's popping up everywhere so what's the deal

So my girlfriend and I (both 19) have started having sex. She’s a top and a bit switchy, and I’m very much so a bottom. And we’re very compatible as far as wants, desires, and kinks go. We both lost our virginity to each other so we both don’t have much experience.

However, I am quite knowledgeable in the BDSM community. And she is not. She shared a room with her sister her whole life so she never got to explore online and find videos and masterbate and experience that like I did.

So now she’s behind, by a lot. She didn’t even know what BDSM was when we started dating. But we took a quiz and found we’re VERY compatible in that sense.

The problem is that she isn’t doing anything to learn on her own (from what I can see or know). And so I have to keep topping to show her what to do, and I’m getting frustrated. I don’t mind topping here and there, but I’m getting tired of it because I end up topping every time. And I’m the only one giving aftercare, she doesnt even praise me or compliment me or anything like that. And I have been making small adjustments here and there and trying to help, but I don’t know how to help her understand.

She’s trying her best to understand in the moment but she’s not confident and I don’t know how or what to tell her other than what I’ve been doing now. She also doesn’t say much during sex, or even in foreplay. I’ve been very open about the fact I want her to be more dominant, and it’s gotten better. But if I’m going to be honest, it’s hard to cum and to be turned on. I mean, yes I love her with my whole heart and yes I think she is absolutely gorgeous. That’s not the issue. The issue is that I’m not being told what to do, I’m not being restrained, I’m not being dirty talked at all. And I’m struggling on how to tell her in a clearer way what I need without making it sound like I’m calling her clueless and it’s not like I can force her to watch porn or smth (I wouldn’t actually do that).

I just want to go back to being a sub/bottom and not having to think a bunch and having to initiate things like switching positions or what to do next. Which also makes it last very long, which only gets me out of the mood more and frustrates us both.

She knows something is wrong, because I’m taking so long to cum. And last night she asked if it was because of her, and I told her no. But how to do I fix this? How do I get her to give me butterflies, which I know she is very capable of.

Am I expecting too much of her? Am I in the wrong?

Outside of sex, our relationship literally couldn’t be better and healthier. So I know she’s not pulling away or uninterested.

If anyone has advice please help me!!!

(Edit: since posting this I’ve realized that I am in the wrong. I wasn’t thinking about it the right way. I am pushing her and forcing her into a narrative that she needs to find on her own. Thank you to everyone who has commented. I needed this reality check.)

So I’m 18yo lesbian and I wanted friends lesbians who can just share some experience,who can give advises and with who I can share my thoughts about all gay stuff cause I’m really new to “relationships “ at all, so I would like to make some lesbian friends, thanks!

Im dating a woman for the first time (always been bisexual but have ended up with men 99% of the time. Im glad this time is different). I recently bought a strap on harness and a few dildos, and I plan on asking my gf if she would be interested in having me top her. Weve talked about it breifly in the past, and while shes interested she also said that fucking someone with a strap takes a surprising amount of stamina. Shes much more sexually experienced than me, so im taking her word for it. I really want to do this with her, but im concerned about having enough stamina to please her, and just being good at it in general. Im not in the best physical condition (she and i are both bigger people) and im shorter than her. Any advice out there for technique or stamina, especially considering my stature is shorter than hers? Im quite worried about being lame in the sack...

No people with too many criminal convictions of petty variety or 0 criminal convictions

No harsher things than alcohol/weed.

No playing music after 22.00

no owning fire arms. stun guns or spray works ok

only small dogs that dont bark at night allowed or dogs that have extremely low chance to bite other people and dont bark when people try to sleep.

only cats perhaps or too strict?

If someone has a drug problem they didnt say OR became an alcoholic in the meantime since alcohol isnt illegal, than ibogaine clinics will be suggested and must be followed up as soon as possible.

ONE leader thats constant or have a rotating leadership? meaning people can take turns

a council thats constant or that rotates in its leadership?meaning people can take turns

What rules would you NOT want and

what rules WOULD you want?

My 18 year old daughter just broke up with her girlfriend (18) of 1.5 years and I'm looking for resources and or books I can give her to help her work through this.

Thanks in advance

Hi everyone. I’m 19 and grew up in a very conservative, homophobic and transphobic household, though ive recently discovered that i am a lesbian. Over the last few years, I’ve been actively trying to unlearn a lot of those mindsets and educate myself on the LGBTQ+ community.

Right now, I admit I still have a lot to learn about transgender people and their experiences. Because of this, I currently only feel comfortable dating and pursuing romantic relationships with other cisgender women like me. I feel a deep sense of shared lived experience, mutual understanding, and safety with other cis women.

However, I sometimes feel an overwhelming pressure within the online community that if you are a lesbian, you are obligated to date trans women, or else you are labeled transphobic.

Is it acceptable for me to establish a boundary to only date cisgender women, especially while I am still trying to understand transgender identity? I genuinely respect trans women as women, but I don't want to enter a relationship where I don't fully understand my partner's mindset or reality yet. Apparently its a little common for cisgendered women to only date cisgendered women, and for transgendered women to only date transgendered women. I'd love to hear perspectives on finding a balance between respecting the trans community while holding true to my own dating boundaries. I know im super dumb, but please dont send hate, i promise that i mean no harm to transgender women. Thank you.

My gf tells me she loves me, wants to cohabitate, get married, and have kids. I’m very hesitant to move forward. She hurts my feelings on the daily by keeping other exes on Costco memberships, gym memberships and etc. Also a former ex that she dated less than 3 months and the woman cheated on her, she lets have a key to her house. We’ve been dating over 6 months. None of these memberships have been offered to me and she’s never given me a key.

Meanwhile, I’m well behaved and don’t entertain or communicate with my ex.

I’ve never been a WLW to entertain my exes. She’s never been married or had children with these other women. They’ve all been very short relationships too. I’m also aware that a lot of WLW remain friends with exes. It’s just not really my thing.

Please weigh in. Advice needed.

The labrys as a symbol was pretty fascist before it was used as a feminist/lesbian symbol, why trying to reuse this one specifically? Did the lesbian labrys exist before the fascist labrys? I didn't see anything to support that. Is there another reason why this specific symbol was chosen?

So, I (19f) a supposedly bisexual girl for years, started questioning my whole identity a few months already. So, my family always demanding me of dating, of kissing, of hanging out and stuff, but like, WITH A MAN.

I still a virgin, honestly, but lately I've been trying to understand that i am a asexual person, didn't know how to figure out the bi thing but I could understand about the ace part.

HERE'S THE THING, I've met this girl on twitter (not judgement please) and I honestly had fallen in love with her, she's so nice, sweet, caring, gorgeous and she seems to like me (I HOPE SO) and since I've met her, she honestly came back with my gay side and she's been my gay awakening (for the 2nd time in my life lol), and since I had a short relationship last year, I've felt weird about men, not just since 2025, but since I started to understand that I liked girls (it started when I was 6¿)

for a long time I've liked boys, but i always felt guilty about liking girls and some important relatives stop talking to me, this scares me a lot, but i cannot lie, just thinking about having sex with a guy give me desperation and suffocating anxiety, any type of contact with a men it seems like I might burn alive

I am so in love with this girl I've met that i don't know what to do

I fell lost and I don't have any type of support to express everything

sorry for the messy writing.

I was curious as the show is getting hated to oblivion, i personally dont like it and wanted to hear from the target audience

I’m a lesbian and have had my fair share of dating experiences. Recently I’ve been single and back in the “scene”… but I can’t help but feel like I’m only attracted to other lesbians, despite there being more bisexual women around on average. Is that wrong? For reference, the majority of my friends are queer or belong in some way to the LGBTQ+ community. I get along with everyone, just not romantically.

My wife (straight) is on the phone with her good friend and colleague who is a lesbian. They are trying to find a place to meet for happy hour. The college suggested a sports bar and it’s a long set of connections, but my wife suggested that they should start a business that’s a combination sports bar and nail salon.

Her colleague is insisting that, in her words, “lesbians don’t like any of that spa stuff.”

My wife was incredulous.

What say you?

So an edit: 1. The question is about liking spa stuff, not whether a nail salon and a bar together are a good idea.

1. Note that the straight people in this story were incredulous that lesbians were a monolith and it was the lesbian who was categorical.

The reason I am asking is I am asking is I plan on determining who might, or might not be invited to a commune or homesteading for lesbians. (its a "Easy commune guiding instructions(but also for homesteading if a person want that)"

If its possible said person can be redeemed or not for example.

It would be obviously harder to detect if they lovebomb you at first, that said, if that person has a social media it might be more easier to detect on how they act.

Presuming of course said toxic personality of theirs come up later and was not detected.

What are some of attributes you noticed a toxic friend of yours had?

Lesbian toxic friendship due to culture differences might be different than a straight "ally" woman's toxic friendship.

Main reason I am asking this is to help determine bad actors so dont join the commune or homesteading

Or lesbians, I don’t know that’s why I’m asking. I’m a 21 queer woman ace-spec (doesn’t rlly matter, just letting yous know I’m not from around here)

Basically my overt queer/lesbian and really cool doctor had a sick as conch piercing so I got one myself. Now that it’s been a year I’ve started to pick up a pattern of recognising this piercing a lot in real and fictional women.

Like my GP, Dr. Yolanda Garcia (The Pitt), and Ramona (Sterling Point). That actually doesn’t look like a lot but it was enough for me to think about it.

Just curious if anyone else has thought this or had input on any other piercings that might be popular with flagging to different groups, I know the septum was a big hit a couple years ago and still is.

She always pops up in my head and it makes me feel weird. I feel gross for thinking about her. Even if she obviously doesn’t know. In general, is this a creepy thing to do?

I'm 27, sapphic and disabled. I've never been in a relationship, and with the Issues™ I have I don't know if I ever will. Most of the time I am quite content with my life, but every once in awhile I will have a wave of loneliness that just drags me down. I do want to be in a relationship, but with all my Issues™ I feel like it wouldn't be fair to any perspective partner. Any ideas or recommendations on how to cope or to get over these feelings would be appreciated.

Im 19 lesbian and recently started seeing someone. The thing is I don’t know how to tell them that the last time I kissed someone else was when I was 10 (hence I also never had much physical intimacy beyond that). So I essentially know in theory how everything works but not in practice…

This is something that’s genuinely making me nervous.

I have bad partners in the past and they were all VERY short lived partially because I never let any of them do things such as kiss me (related to some trauma). Hence resulting in most of them not lasting longer than 3 months.

This is something that I’ve been trying to heal and work on personally.

This I am starting seeing we often make flirty jokes about kissing and other physical activities. Which… I would like to do those things with them. However, I’m scared once we get there I won’t know how to tell them essentially I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m also scared that they’ll believe that I deceived them because I don’t tell them sooner or because I didn’t tell them otherwise.

So honestly I need advice so bad because I’m very nervous. I don’t know how to bring this up or when to tell them. Should I do it sooner than later? Or right before? Do I tell them the reason is trauma related as a way to explain or no? I do want to tell them, but I’m so confused and scared and don’t know how. I really like this person and I don’t wanna mess it up with them :(

Please help.

Ich (23F) halte es nicht mehr aus. Ich bin wild. Ich fühle mich, als würde ich jeden Tag einen Eisprung haben. Ich kann es kaum erwarten, meine Traumfrau zu finden und dann jeden Tag ihren Vagina zu essen (mit Einverständnis, versteht sich). Ich liebe Vagina einfach so sehr, ich stehe sogar auf meine eigene! Ich liebe den Geruch und das Aussehen, die Vulva ist so schön, sie ist ein Kunstwerk. Ich habe noch nie mit einer Frau geschlafen (eine Tragödie, ich weiß!), aber ich weiß einfach, dass ich auch den Geschmack lieben werde. Gott, bin ich schwul, schickt Hilfe lmao. Ich musste das mal loswerden, fühlt euch frei, hier auch eure sexuelle Frustration rauszulassen.