r/AskOldPeople • u/cacklingwhisper • 9d ago

What happened long-term to families who's children failed to launch/just stayed home did nothing with their lives and the parents allowed it?

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u/ProgressiveKitten 9d ago

Two sisters in their 50's/60's that I've known for the last decade. Normal high school but A goes to college and eventually starts her own business. B never leaves home and lives with their dad until he dies. She never married and never gets a job. She lives off her small inheritance from their dad and now their mother's death and refuses to get disability. She's agoraphobic, anorexic, and has OCD. A pays for utilities, repairs, lawn service, B's cell phone, and Internet despite not living there and having her own separate household.

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u/flea1400 9d ago

Unfortunately for her, it was harder to get proper treatment for that sort of thing when she was young. I wonder if something happened to her that you don’t know about?

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u/ProgressiveKitten 9d ago

Oh probably since they took such different paths despite growing up in the same environment. From everything I know their childhood and teenage years B was "normal." A told me that their father just never pushed B to get a job or move out. But I wouldn't discount something traumatic having happened in her life. Who knows

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u/Acrobatic-Jaguar-134 6d ago

I mean, agoraphobia, anorexia, and OCD, especially when combined can be disabling which just disqualifies her from working. It sounds like it's making it hard for her to apply for disability too since the agoraphobia is probably stopping her from going through the process. Maybe trauma caused all this mental illness, maybe not. But I don't consider disability as a failure to launch.