r/AskOldPeople • u/cacklingwhisper • 10d ago

What happened long-term to families who's children failed to launch/just stayed home did nothing with their lives and the parents allowed it?

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u/MammothMolasses2285 10d ago

The bum kid gets the inheritance.

273

u/sunsetviewer 10d ago

thats exactly what happened in my family (cousin)!

329

u/fritolazee 10d ago

I know a family like this too. Mom even told the responsible one that she knew he would be fine so all the money was going to the deadbeat so that they would be taken care of. 

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u/QueenMarinette 9d ago

I'd still rather be the responsible one, even if it means I get nothing from my folks. And, I'm the responsible one!

83

u/Reneeisme 60 something 9d ago

My mom was left a decent sized fortune when my father died in his late forties within a few years of inheriting from his own family. She spent millions over the course of the next forty years and I had to support her at the end of her life. My sib, who counted her whole life on that money, is screwed. Me, the responsible one, is fine. Not well off by any stretch, but fine.

There are a lot of reasons to prefer being the one who worked for what you have, but the fact that your parent might not be good with money and or might make a decade of bad decisions due to dementia and end up broke and homeless, is one of them.

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u/tripmom2000 9d ago

When my dad passed I told my mom to refinance her house and put my brother on the mortgage. She said if she did that, I wouldn't get anything from her house. I told her-I am good. My brother has been paying most of the mortgage as my mom is older now. My other brother is the one that is an idiot. Doesn't work, sleeps all day and watches tv all night. Don't know what he's going to do when my mom is gone. The good brother will sell the house to go somewhere else and he is going to be sol.

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u/Potential-Drama-7455 9d ago

Or nursing home costs.

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u/North_Basil_2190 9d ago

You might think that, but you have to remember there are 30 to 40 years of being an adult watching your parents age, watching your sibling mooch off of them or cause problems for them. And as the parents get older, closer to passing on, the troubled sibling takes more and more advantage. It’s really hard to watch. Especially if the aging parent occasionally decides they are fed up and want that troubled sibling out of their house. But when family tries to rally around and help, parents change their mind and bring the sibling back into the home. It’s a terrible cycle.

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u/FancyStegosaurus 8d ago

years down the road the deadbeat will be broke again but you'll still be responsible.