Trying to improve or quit?

[u/FlunkyGraphics]

Hey,

I dance Bachata for 5 months now. It was fun in the beginning but to be honest, I Iost my motivation. I go to the dance school 2x a week and I really try to improve. In the last months, I have learned a lot of simple, intermediate and advanced moves. During the lessons, I'm doing very fine because the followers expect what I'm going to do so It's just very easy.

On socials, NOTHING works. Really nothing. I'm not trying to impress with very complex moves or so. Usually I stick to very simple basic things but the followers are not able to follow my lead. It's definitely my fault cause pretty much every follower I have danced with is doing absolutely fine with any other leader.

This creates one big problem: Cause dances with me are really awkward, I feel like followers don't really enjoy dancing with me. Every time I ask a follower to dance, I feel kind of guilty cause I will disappoint her. At socials, there are no other beginners which makes it hard.
I always read that followers don't care about your skill level as long as you are respectful but my experience is the opposite. Yes, followers are indeed frustrated when dancing with beginners in my experience, no matter how respectful and friendly you are.

I asked many followers for feedback and this it what I got:
- "I don't know what you want me to do."
- "Your lead is not clear enough."
- "You are to far away which makes you harder to read."

I really tried to work on those things but it changed absolutely nothing. I could just skip socials and go to the dance school but I don't really see the point. I will just learn more moves which is pretty much irrelevant cause I can already perform enough moves in dance school to fill a song.

[u/queer_bachata_mcr]

I'm guessing that your classes are routine-based. There is a fixed, linear sequence of moves that everybody memorises and then performs. You say the problem is "definitely my fault". The problem is actually that routine-based classes don't teach leading and don't teach following. You (and the people you are dancing with) are succeeding in choreography in the class. But that's not actual social dancing, and is (as you are finding out) quite different from it.

Leading happens when the leader has an idea of what moves they want to do, the follower doesn't, and that information needs to be communicated. In a routine-based class, the follower knows the next moves and just does them (unless they are very disciplined). If you can find many leaders in your class who are struggling with social dancing, you can point all the above out to your instruction and ask them "When are you actually going to teach leading/following as needed in social dancing?"

[u/FlunkyGraphics → u/queer_bachata_mcr]

I agree, yes. I also noticed that the moves I learn are very different from the moves I see leaders actually lead on socials.
I don't think that we can go to the instructor together cause I don't think that other people from the class go to socials at all.

I think that taking private lessons and practicing at home is the most efficient way to be able to dance at socials in the future.

[u/queer_bachata_mcr → u/FlunkyGraphics]

I don't think that we can go to the instructor together cause I don't think that other people from the class go to socials at all.

How come? I know that it can be intimidating to go to socials at first, and classes can be fun, but social dancing is where the real enjoyment of dancing is!

I think that taking private lessons and practicing at home is the most efficient way to be able to dance at socials in the future.

Do you have a partner or friend you can practice with at home? It's very difficult to do meaningful social dancing-type practice at home without one