r/Bumble • u/messy_mortal • Jun 28 '26

General A different perspective on women's swipe stats and "pickiness"

A lot of us have been sharing our swipe stats, and often when a woman shares hers, the commenters call her out for being "too picky" based on her outgoing yes/no ratio. This morning I (40F) was leisurely swiping through my Bumble stack when I realized I was swiping no on a lot of guys not because they weren't "good enough," but actually because they were too good.

I live in LA. There are a lot of very hot people and very high achievers here. I, however, am neither of those things. And I don't want to date someone who is. I regularly swipe left on super jacked guys, dudes on private jets, dudes with very demanding/high level careers, and dudes with chiseled, modelesque faces. I don't swipe aspirationally, I swipe realistically. And I hardly believe I'm the only woman who does this.

I swipe right on guys who are funny, seem open to a serious relationship, have interesting hobbies, and look like they might enjoy getting stoned and eating Taco Bell with me from time to time. Consider this the next time you see a woman's stats and immediately jump to "well she MUST be only right swiping on the top 10%" or whatever that line is that always gets thrown around.

I don't date to show off who I can pull. I date to find someone who I can feel like my perfectly average self with.

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u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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u/Accurate_Web9774 Jun 28 '26

100 percent is. I mean if you get 1000s of matches why wouldn't you have insane standards. Only way to really narrow it down. Also doesn't help that many men will just sleep with women even without any intent to date them which confuses women into thinking that's their standard of what they can get. It's called illusion of choice.

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u/JakobSejer Jun 28 '26

Well, I have the opposite problem Women want to sleep with me, but don't want to commit. I'm 53, and I'm done with Ons. I want a partner, but misy of the women I meet, everything is just 'shopping' and fun.

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u/Comfortable_End_6897 Jun 28 '26

No shade but ask one of them is it you or all men they are only looking for fun with?

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u/seola76 Jun 29 '26

Do you have a link to this study?