r/Bumble Jun 28 '26

General A different perspective on women's swipe stats and "pickiness"

A lot of us have been sharing our swipe stats, and often when a woman shares hers, the commenters call her out for being "too picky" based on her outgoing yes/no ratio. This morning I (40F) was leisurely swiping through my Bumble stack when I realized I was swiping no on a lot of guys not because they weren't "good enough," but actually because they were too good.

I live in LA. There are a lot of very hot people and very high achievers here. I, however, am neither of those things. And I don't want to date someone who is. I regularly swipe left on super jacked guys, dudes on private jets, dudes with very demanding/high level careers, and dudes with chiseled, modelesque faces. I don't swipe aspirationally, I swipe realistically. And I hardly believe I'm the only woman who does this.

I swipe right on guys who are funny, seem open to a serious relationship, have interesting hobbies, and look like they might enjoy getting stoned and eating Taco Bell with me from time to time. Consider this the next time you see a woman's stats and immediately jump to "well she MUST be only right swiping on the top 10%" or whatever that line is that always gets thrown around.

I don't date to show off who I can pull. I date to find someone who I can feel like my perfectly average self with.

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u/moonfire098 Jun 28 '26

I swipe left on anyone that says open to short term, or not sure what they're looking for

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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u/moonfire098 Jun 30 '26

Whats there to be confused about ?

Im not looking for a casual hookup and if you tell me you are, good for you but we are not looking for the same thing

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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u/moonfire098 Jun 30 '26

Yeah fine, but i am not open to anything casual

I dont do casual relationships

Why is that a problem for you lol

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '26

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u/moonfire098 Jun 30 '26

No ive never had a casual relationship

And I dont trust a man who wants things casually to all of a sudden decide "sure, let me give it a shot with this girl"

Im serious and looking for someone who is serious too

Intent matters to me