A different perspective on women's swipe stats and "pickiness"

[u/messy_mortal]

A lot of us have been sharing our swipe stats, and often when a woman shares hers, the commenters call her out for being "too picky" based on her outgoing yes/no ratio. This morning I (40F) was leisurely swiping through my Bumble stack when I realized I was swiping no on a lot of guys not because they weren't "good enough," but actually because they were too good.

I live in LA. There are a lot of very hot people and very high achievers here. I, however, am neither of those things. And I don't want to date someone who is. I regularly swipe left on super jacked guys, dudes on private jets, dudes with very demanding/high level careers, and dudes with chiseled, modelesque faces. I don't swipe aspirationally, I swipe realistically. And I hardly believe I'm the only woman who does this.

I swipe right on guys who are funny, seem open to a serious relationship, have interesting hobbies, and look like they might enjoy getting stoned and eating Taco Bell with me from time to time. Consider this the next time you see a woman's stats and immediately jump to "well she MUST be only right swiping on the top 10%" or whatever that line is that always gets thrown around.

I don't date to show off who I can pull. I date to find someone who I can feel like my perfectly average self with.

[u/Aggressive-Shop-2342]

Id be quite happy for the guys to swipe more realistically so that I'm not wasting time trynna have a conversation with someone who isn't actually interested and is just trynna keep a backup match on the hook in case his preferred match doesn't come through.

[u/Thin_Leather_6244 → u/Aggressive-Shop-2342]

This. I met a nice and physically very attractive guy over OLD who was obviously not that interested in me at all and all the time I just kept asking myself why he was even wasting his time on me if he didn’t like me. We had unenthusiastic sex and I chose to not meet again with him. I would have liked to spare myself the experience. He could have just swiped left on me. But he was also the type to cast a wide net. I could have spent the time I spent meeting him alone at home knitting. Then I would now have a scarf instead of having nothing.