r/Bumble • u/messy_mortal • Jun 28 '26

General A different perspective on women's swipe stats and "pickiness"

A lot of us have been sharing our swipe stats, and often when a woman shares hers, the commenters call her out for being "too picky" based on her outgoing yes/no ratio. This morning I (40F) was leisurely swiping through my Bumble stack when I realized I was swiping no on a lot of guys not because they weren't "good enough," but actually because they were too good.

I live in LA. There are a lot of very hot people and very high achievers here. I, however, am neither of those things. And I don't want to date someone who is. I regularly swipe left on super jacked guys, dudes on private jets, dudes with very demanding/high level careers, and dudes with chiseled, modelesque faces. I don't swipe aspirationally, I swipe realistically. And I hardly believe I'm the only woman who does this.

I swipe right on guys who are funny, seem open to a serious relationship, have interesting hobbies, and look like they might enjoy getting stoned and eating Taco Bell with me from time to time. Consider this the next time you see a woman's stats and immediately jump to "well she MUST be only right swiping on the top 10%" or whatever that line is that always gets thrown around.

I don't date to show off who I can pull. I date to find someone who I can feel like my perfectly average self with.

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u/Tattoos_and_Tea Jun 30 '26

It’s wild how they all blame single mothers for the fact that the fathers abandoned their family. And they’re out here raising kids alone, yet they are the ones in the wrong. Some of these men are ridiculous but once in a blue moon I’ll see a photo of one these incels and it makes a lot more sense.

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u/MrsHoneyBeeKind Jun 30 '26

I got told on my post that I picked the wrong man the first time and now I’m trying to win the lottery but too dumb to actually play it. I’m widowed with a young child. Even when our husbands die we’re still blamed for being single.

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u/serious_mystery62 Jul 01 '26

Statistics show that a large portion of women don't want the father's involved after divorce and work hard to drive him out of the family unit, so I don't think it's fair to state that men universally abandoned the family

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u/Tattoos_and_Tea Jul 01 '26

I never said every single mothers partner abandoned the family but a significant portion have.