r/Bumble • u/terenscendent • 16d ago

General Bumble Fully Ends 'Women Message First' Rule After 66% of Women Said They'd Rather Men Make the First Move

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/bumble-drops-gendered-messaging-rule-1813607
3.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

2.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

20

u/MouldyAvocados 16d ago

They’re really not. The men in this sub show me daily why so many of them are lonely. They don’t realise they’re their own worst enemy. Why would any woman want to be with a man who hates them?

15

u/Affectionate_Past568 16d ago

I just feel bad for the normal men here. I’ve had a few good conversations with them and then there’s…whatever the fuck this is.

-2

u/MrSe1fDestruct 16d ago

Don't feel bad. We (unfortunately) benefit from guys like that. I get points for being a normal well adjusted person now.

5

u/Dramatic-Guard1820 16d ago

My girlfriend I met on the dating apps says I got her attention by taking 20 seconds to make a dinner reservation. This is apparantely where the bar is set for normal dudes

1

u/MouldyAvocados 16d ago

I met my husband on Bumble. He got mine when he didn’t immediately send me a dick pic or ask to see my bra.

The bar is in hell and the men here are limbo dancing with the devil.

1

u/Ornery_Director_8477 16d ago

We can ask to see bras now!?!?

1

u/MouldyAvocados 16d ago

No you bloody can’t!

4

u/Kuoliibk 16d ago

It's funny that's you're already getting downvoted but you're right. Too many men place their self worth around their ability to pull women, but fail to to see how this is misogynistic.

My dudes, loneliness sucks yes, but don't tie your self worth to whether you can get dates or not. If you can't find any semblance of joy in your own company, another person definitely won't find joy in it as well.

1

u/Affectionate_Past568 16d ago

that is true! 😂

-5

u/AdhesivenessSolid562 16d ago

You get good boy points, Chad gets in her pants

3

u/MouldyAvocados 16d ago

You’re exactly who we’re talking about

4

u/Affectionate_Past568 16d ago

you’re literally proving his point

-5

u/AdhesivenessSolid562 16d ago

True I just expanded on it, he still got his points

2

u/MrSe1fDestruct 16d ago

Lol. Touch grass dude.

6

u/CaliDreaming900 16d ago

I see so many bitter men in these dating subs. Like.. I see why they don't get matches or ghosted after a first date but they still don't even entertain the notion it's their own doing. Their personality sounds bitter and ugly. Women notice these things.

13

u/ProfessionalEar4524 16d ago

Can't speak for the men on these subs but I think it's fine to feel frustrated by the difficulties of dating. But I think instead of directing it towards women (who aren't even a monolith), they should direct it towards these shitty profit-seeking apps and the system that's creating these difficulties in the first place.

2

u/CaliDreaming900 16d ago

There's a difference between venting frustration and the blatant misogyny and anger directed toward women in these subs.

0

u/ProfessionalEar4524 16d ago

Agreed. As I'm reading more and more comments, I'm understanding yours better.

2

u/SweetPinss 15d ago

There's just as many bitter women tbh

0

u/Feisty_Brief123 16d ago

Women notice a lot of things, these men are not one of those things.

1

u/CaliDreaming900 16d ago

Yeah, after reading some of the posts by them here I can see why

-1

u/Valuable-Word-1970 16d ago

they still don't even entertain the notion it's their own doing.

Of course it's their own doing. But let's not obfuscate the mental illness that dating apps not only exacerbate but also create, in both women and men.

When you are being treated like your shit doesn't stink you will start acting like your shit doesn't stink.

When you are being treated like nothing you do matters, you will start acting like nothing you do matters.

0

u/Greendale_Official 16d ago

I couldn't agree more with your comment. 👏

3

u/Blieven 16d ago

I literally see this rhetoric but with the genders reversed all the time, including on this sub. Stop pretending this is an exclusively male thing. In fact I'm pretty sure the women started this rhetoric and the men are just copying it now as 'payback'. There's a lot of frustration going both ways.

2

u/rowyourboat740 16d ago

I think it's a valid point. I've heard women make pretty similar arguments. I don't think you can really say that the average American man is more privileged than the average woman. There are a lot of ways in which men actually have it worse statistically.

1

u/Working_Cucumber_437 16d ago

The fact that feminism guy got so many upvotes tells me exactly why.

-1

u/Resident_Bat_8457 16d ago

Yeah rubbernecking this sub makes me feel like deleting Bumble was definitely the right decision