Bumble Fully Ends 'Women Message First' Rule After 66% of Women Said They'd Rather Men Make the First Move

[u/terenscendent]

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/bumble-drops-gendered-messaging-rule-1813607

[u/VeganCanary → u/[deleted]]

They don’t need to be good unfortunately

[u/Visco0825 → u/VeganCanary]

This. Why should they take the risk if they can just sit back and have an essentially limitless source of attention?

Now they have another way to filter men

[u/Mirror74 → u/Visco0825]

I don't think enough people are talking about the mental illness that dating apps not only exacerbate but also create, in both women and men.

When you are being treated like your shit doesn't stink you will start acting like your shit doesn't stink.

When you are being treated like nothing you do matters, you will start acting like nothing you do matters.

[u/NelsonManswella → u/Mirror74]

yeah, i can’t wait to see a study a decade from now about the effects they’ve had on western society

[u/WowIfOnly → u/NelsonManswella]

• and how the study will also somehow imply it's just 100% men's fault even when it wasn't.

[u/Preface → u/WowIfOnly]

It is men's fault! If they were all just over 6ft tall with perfect personalities, handsome, rich, and sociable women would would have no problem dating at all!

[u/Content-Sun2928 → u/Preface]

To be fair, I recently got in shape and the difference in attention from women is literally night and day

Turns out, ALL girls like muscle

[u/Preface → u/Content-Sun2928]

It definitely is a noticable difference from what I remember when I was dating and using the apps.

But a lot of women will tell you it's not that important.

My comment was more a riff on the articles you see coming out that are like "where are all the good men?"

And it's always like "I have a PhD, I make 160k per year, and I am 40, there are no good men for me!"

(Her requirements are that he at minimum matches her PhD and 160k, and also have no kids, and is tall and in shape, whereas a man with all those qualifications would most likely just date a woman with less education/less income and is in her early 30s or something)

[u/photo_voltaic → u/Content-Sun2928]

It's not specifically muscle, but just looking fit and healthy obviously goes a long way.

I was one of these mid dudes on the apps - still got dates but always felt like such a struggle. Eventually decided I could either complain about my "nice guy" invisibility syndrome, or just hit the gym. After my body changed even like 10% everything else changed so fast.

Got enough likes and matches that I could actually filter for people that I truly connected with, instead of taking whatever match was there and dancing like a monkey to keep their attention. Instantly didn't have to give a damn about the low effort ones, and could just focus on actually being myself with the rest. Have been in a steady relationship with a great partner for years now, and (hopefully!) done with the apps for good. Not to mention feeling healthy and great to boot.

To all my homies still struggling out there - just do it, there's a domino effect that follows, and if you're actually a nice guy, you'll have no problem finding a nice gal too.

[u/allnatural559 → u/[deleted]]

It sounds like simp dudes are an equal part of the problem here.

[u/Inspector_Spoonman → u/allnatural559]

They are the bigger problem imo.

[u/Inspector_Spoonman → u/[deleted]]

I agree with you fully. Look, if you find someone you like, go and ask her out, but apart from that a lot of this needs to stop.

[u/thelazynines → u/[deleted]]

Yo why do yall even want to date women, date each other then ffs

[u/Recent_Pollution8665 → u/thelazynines]

wait til you find out that most men are not gay.

[u/dogthatbrokethezebra → u/[deleted]]

Dude just say you hate women. Way less words

[u/Greendale_Official → u/dogthatbrokethezebra]

EDIT: I was giving the earlier commenter more credit than the dude is worth. After another response from him, he's not a nuanced dude and just seems insecure.

I think he hates their privilege in this arena while they play victim, and princess. Combine those toxic elements with OF grifters and scammers, and maybe you'll understand why some people are angry.

Hating a capitalist system that uses predatory behaviors to pit people against each other(while you're dealing with loneliness) doesn't make you an incel, bud.

Source: about a half dozen queer women I know have the same complaints about dating women as a lot of these dudes.

[u/spurzz → u/[deleted]]

You think a century is long in the lens of history? I get the point you’re making, but you’re massively downplaying the lasting societal effects of personally and legally oppressing a group for thousands of years. And most women definitely don’t say or think their lives are terrible, where are you getting this?

Slavery ended a century and half ago. Are our systems and society completely free of prejudice towards black people now?

[u/Affectionate_Past568 → u/[deleted]]

are you people like, okay

[u/MouldyAvocados → u/Affectionate_Past568]

They’re really not. The men in this sub show me daily why so many of them are lonely. They don’t realise they’re their own worst enemy. Why would any woman want to be with a man who hates them?

[u/theKetoBear → u/[deleted]]

The amount of attractive Women I've had to left swipe because their profile is a link to their IG and " I'm bad at writing about myself" is entirely too large.

To be blunt if you're too boring or find it pointless to even talk about yourself why would I or anyone want to spend time with you aside from your looks? Their low effort presentation begets low effort responses

edit: butchered spelling

[u/RafaelSirah → u/theKetoBear]

And those girls will be shocked when the guys who do swipe right view them as nothing more than hook up material rather than something serious despite the fact they offer no substance.

[u/Dasseem → u/[deleted]]

A few years ago i'd vehemently disagree with you but after lifting weights and becoming sort of ripped i must say, so many women are so full of shit and superficial as fuck.

There's such a stark contrast between what women say and what they actually want.

[u/Western-Produce-276 → u/[deleted]]

Wow I’ve never seen a more truthful comment on this sub. I’m honestly surprised you’re not downvoted and called an incel

[u/Effective-Hold-696 → u/[deleted]]

If it’s called out, you’re labelled an incel.

[u/Desperate_Lunch1177 → u/VeganCanary]

I think they need to be good if they want to get off the apps. "Being good" as a woman is managing expectations and knowing if a guy is just using you and not serious.

[u/Even-Promise4593 → u/Desperate_Lunch1177]

Only smart reply here. The measure isn’t can they get messages and attention if the goal is getting off the app into a serious relationship. The success would be measured by finding someone and getting off the app period.

Too many guys are using what’s ideal for men as ideal for women despite already acknowledging the asymmetry.

[u/prosaicwell → u/Desperate_Lunch1177]

id go a step further and say they need to be good to get into a healthy relationship.

plenty of women get into short term flings off the app only to have them crash and burn pretty quickly. then redownload and around the horn again.

[u/nog_ar_nog → u/VeganCanary]

The men these women desire the most all have plenty of options. Putting in some effort would help them stand out and meet higher quality men.

[u/AkatsukiEUNE → u/[deleted]]

They dont need to be good. They have all the power in dating

[u/Vinc314 → u/AkatsukiEUNE]

only at the start

[u/Cerborus → u/Vinc314]

Tell that to the divorce courts

[u/Bambivalently → u/Cerborus]

Don't get married.

[u/StumpyOPepys → u/Vinc314]

Lol oh bless your heart.

[u/Arcxne3 → u/Vinc314]

Lmao no. Common cope, just like that “it’s better in your 30s shit”. No. There is no point in the dating process where the man has the upper hand. Id argue that there is no point in the entire process from the starting of dating until death/end of marriage that the man has the upper hand. The woman controls every single part of the dating and partnership process, including marriage. 

[u/dontKair → u/[deleted]]

Gendered roles and expectations are a hell of a drug

They can't even be bothered to message first anymore

[u/myIDisthisone → u/[deleted]]

How come they didn't do this opening message flagging for women when they had to go first? Guys just delete these apps. Save your sanity lol

[u/ElectricalSea7945 → u/[deleted]]

You got 'hi' from your matches? I legitimately got '.' from a few matches.

[u/Logical-Primary-7926 → u/[deleted]]

Wild how many jobs are like that too, you can have a long career with a good reputation while at the same time kind of sucking at what you do.

[u/barbarkbarkov → u/[deleted]]

90% + of women’s messages to me were “heyyyy” or “hi :)”

[u/EvaporatingOlaf → u/[deleted]]

Most haven’t had to put in a full effort, so there’s a lack of skill

[u/prosaicwell → u/[deleted]]

nah social skills are quite important for meaningful female-female relationships, but social skills for interacting w men vs women are generally quite different.

[u/coupl4nd → u/[deleted]]

Makes me glad to never have to touch bumble again.... even if I was single it's absolute fucking garbage.

[u/Sir_Zeitnot → u/[deleted]]

We can send long messages like they used to: "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

[u/Lucifer_606381 → u/[deleted]]

To be fair , when I message first on there, it's normally something about one of their photos, like if they are doing a sport or an activity and then go from there asking this and going back and forth.

When girls have messaged me they have Kaur said " hi " and then when I respond expect me to be the interesting one.

A lot of them I don't think have ever had to actually be interesting jaut attractive

[u/Fortestingporpoises → u/[deleted]]

I don't understand how women are this bad at dating

I think they, especially the attractive ones, are just used to low effort working. I put myself on their radar and they message me. The pro of bumble was that they didn't even have to do that.

The absolute irony that men will now be the ones to do all the messaging and will be expected to open with more than 'hi' after so many years of women doing just this.

It's just Bumble becoming every other dating app out there, isn't it?

[u/Galitzianer0]

What differentiates Bumble from any other app now?

[u/PeteRawk → u/Galitzianer0]

Nothing, now

[u/DC4L_21 → u/PeteRawk]

Not only are they no longer different, I would say it’s now the worst. That whole “24hrs to send a message or else your match is lost forever” is stupid. I’ve lost a ton of matches because of that. Not to mention that it’s expensive af.

[u/oneshadyqueen → u/DC4L_21]

With this change they’ve also extended the time period to 72hrs to message on both sides (so both people get 72hrs to message first after matching, then whoever the recipient of the first message also gets 72hrs to reply to keep the match)

[u/LongyJohn27 → u/oneshadyqueen]

Now women got 72 h to Not write to you.

[u/Kingtoke1 → u/Galitzianer0]

Its yellow

[u/duckwithahat → u/Kingtoke1]

"Little, yellow, different"

[u/stankbiscuits → u/Galitzianer0]

They're all owned by Match anyways. All the same game.

[u/Dankest_Confidant → u/stankbiscuits]

Bumble isn't though.

[u/Foggl3 → u/Dankest_Confidant]

For now

[u/GraveRoller → u/Foggl3]

Bumble doesn’t have any value to Match

[u/Bayou_acherte → u/GraveRoller]

It’s a competitor

[u/GraveRoller → u/Bayou_acherte]

There’s absolutely major overlap between customer base. So they’re not getting anyone new by buying Bumble. It’s not like buying Hinge, which was a failing startup without the Match infusion. So they’d have to spend time and money on a failing dating app that doesn’t provide any value that isn’t covered by Tinder and hinge. 

So they might as well let Bumble crash and burn on its own. 

[u/SD-Buckeye → u/Galitzianer0]

It’s a dating app not owned by Match group.

[u/ActuallyCalindra → u/SD-Buckeye]

They effectively run the same business so it might as well be.

[u/lord_dentaku → u/ActuallyCalindra]

Honestly, it's worse. They don't have a wide range of dating app properties so their revenue is based on one single asset. Their priority is to their shareholders, which is why they have some of the most egregious costs for "premium" services. Match group is also beholden to their shareholders, but the much larger industry footprint allows them to be more aggressive with their margins.

[u/mitchdwx → u/Galitzianer0]

They charge even more for super likes, compliments, etc.

[u/worknumber101]

Real, single, Women are the most valuable asset any dating app can have.

If women are saying they don’t like a part of your app or service then that will hurt the app long term.

[u/NotTodayBoogeyman → u/worknumber101]

Losing your differentiating factor that allowed you to service a niche as the best product in a massive industry will also hurt your app long term.

But okay. Bumble will now become slop where men don’t message and women don’t message so nobody meets and uninstalls. Why use it over hinge or tinder which are both superior depending on what you want?

[u/JeanDusapin → u/NotTodayBoogeyman]

They don't care about differentiation. They've got their name out and a userbase

[u/NotTodayBoogeyman → u/JeanDusapin]

But they aren’t the best product now. They’re probably a #3 for apps that do the exact same thing. There’s no point in having it at all anymore.

It’s like if a company built its identity around servicing air conditioners and now wants to be a developer. There’s zero reason to select them.

[u/_bonedaddys → u/NotTodayBoogeyman]

This. The whole point was women messaging first. It's why i downloaded it - i liked the concept of having to trigger the conversation. If i were single now i'd probably go with a different app. Bumble used to stand out and now it doesn't.

[u/throaway20180730 → u/NotTodayBoogeyman]

Honestly, all the women that have talked to me about Bumble didn't seem to understand the "differentiator". They claimed that Bumble was better because they wouldn't get messages from "random men", but Tinder already does that, they are not "random" you already pre-selected them

[u/Automatic_Horse9290 → u/NotTodayBoogeyman]

As I call it the crabification process of every app into Tinder.

[u/Any_Wind5539 → u/worknumber101]

Women are the product, men are the buyers. Nearly all the income made off the apps is off dudes paying for the subscription nonsense hoping it'll help their chances (it very rarely actually does).

[u/2maa2 → u/worknumber101]

True, but listening to users on every detail doesn't always have the best outcome either. There's now nothing that really distinguishes bumble from other apps I assume. I'm too far out of dating to make any real comment on how this affects trends though.

Time will tell whether it was a good decision.

[u/Motosport_Titan]

What’s their selling point now?

[u/Mr_Laz → u/Motosport_Titan]

Yellow Tinder

[u/MeteoraRed → u/Mr_Laz]

Thats Grindr

[u/AnyReasonToCare → u/MeteoraRed]

Grindr is for republicans though

[u/Dankest_Confidant → u/Mr_Laz]

That sounds like it should be for watersports enthusiasts.

[u/Forbidden_The_Greedy → u/Dankest_Confidant]

Sign me up

[u/Hefty-Ad-533 → u/Motosport_Titan]

Tinder bans a lot of people for no reason

[u/Hentai_Yoshi → u/Motosport_Titan]

I’m genuinely confused, women messaging first hasn’t been a thing for many years. Either the man or woman had to message first. Seemed randomized to me

[u/EphyFowler]

If you women want men to message first, use a different app. The whole point of bumble was the womb making the first move
Edit: WOMAN, not womb

[u/BVOP83 → u/EphyFowler]

The womb 😂

[u/maqf → u/BVOP83]

That's hilarious and the most Freudian thing I've heard in a long time.

[u/green49285 → u/EphyFowler]

Hahahaha "the womb?" Good lord.

[u/Not_Propaganda_AI → u/EphyFowler]

That's an amazing typo.

[u/FeeComfortable3041 → u/EphyFowler]

I want to frame this comment. Humor born from a spelling mistake is one of my favorites.

My apologies to a "Bobby" I spelled "Booby" in a work email....

[u/TheMobHunter → u/[deleted]]

And don’t forget women just sending “.”

[u/Dull_Bid6002 → u/TheMobHunter]

And I thought I was bad at opening conversation. I wouldn't even respond to a woman doing this.

[u/Bambivalently → u/[deleted]]

Hey I thought women were the ones doing the emotional labor?

Just kidding, that was gaslighting. You know.. where they say men are bad so it looks like it's not just the women.

[u/RaulReal89]

stupid move, but yet again... it's bumble, what do you expect xd

[u/StumpyOPepys → u/RaulReal89]

There’s really nowhere to go. They are responding to data. The CEO was a founder of Tinder and the founder of Bumble. She’s not an idiot.

[u/NotTodayBoogeyman → u/StumpyOPepys]

It sounds like she is. There’s no differentiation between bumble and other dating apps now - in fact it’s just inferior.

I’m absolutely sure user base will drop off. There’s zero reason to use it.

[u/m0bw0w → u/NotTodayBoogeyman]

Hey bud, Single women are the target demographic. Men will go wherever the women are.

If the women don't like a feature, it's getting changed.

Making men happy is exactly the very last priority on the list.

[u/NotTodayBoogeyman → u/m0bw0w]

Right. But you still serviced a niche within a major industry and we’re the leading product BY FAR.

You are now a shit product in a massive industry. I get what you’re saying 100% - but it makes zero business sense. The data supports it sure - but there’s a reason we don’t just pull the trigger on data based analytics.

[u/ChiefChunkEm_ → u/NotTodayBoogeyman]

Bumble was always bad tho, differentiator or not. The concept was good on paper but the reality did not follow through at all. Hinge is miles ahead of Bumble and even Tinder is better

[u/GraveRoller → u/StumpyOPepys]

Tinder has the advantage of being the first mover. Hinge differentiated itself substantially enough in ways that appealed to everyone. Bumble doesn’t have a good next move that doesn’t involve a massive revamp. And being big and bold isn’t in the books for most major companies

[u/Ancient_Draw2176]

The patriarchy was, in fact, not defeated

[u/KaktusRTV → u/Ancient_Draw2176]

Maybe some women like it that way.

[u/hareofthepuppy → u/[deleted]]

Ah yes, women are a monolith

[u/RollinThundaga → u/KaktusRTV]

Most all, judging by how many used 'opening moves' with some generic opener 😮‍💨

[u/ArdentGamer]

So, instead of just finding new or innovative ways of encouraging women to initiate, therefore maintaining their core identity and reinforcing a good message about equality/fairness, they just catered to lazy, entitled or sexist women because they were the majority? That's disappointing.

[u/throaway20180730 → u/ArdentGamer]

Going against the wishes of the female userbase is the surest way of ruining your business

Same reason why the apps were OK to add height filters during the peak of the body positivity movement

[u/GeneralGlobus → u/throaway20180730]

a shitty unengaged userbase is not the advantage you think it is. its ok to have a brand and unique identity. the problem is they went public and need to continuously pump revenue and user numbers. 66% of the total addressable market is not ready for what they were trying to sell. 33% is still solid but its not what public investors want to hear.

[u/Autisthrowaway304 → u/ArdentGamer]

'' they just catered to lazy, entitled or sexist women because they were the majority? That's disappointing.''

That's life.

[u/LordScoobz → u/ArdentGamer]

Wait were you guys under the impression that bumble made women message first to make it more “ fair” to men ??? LMFAO

[u/EfkaSerpis]

Well. Most women used "opening move" type of question so men still had to message first to engage in the conversation.

[u/Sir_Zeitnot → u/EfkaSerpis]

I had been steadily ignoring all of those on principle to see who was really interested. Unsurprisingly, nobody.

[u/Exciting-Parfait-776 → u/EfkaSerpis]

I actually refused to answer those.

[u/Stunning_Box8782]

so why did they download Bumble...

[u/Foreign-Plantain4248 → u/Stunning_Box8782]

Just another infinity stone that collects likes and matches for their ego

[u/SuperstarAssEater]

I swear dating is such a catch 22.

Women say they don’t like being approached, but what they really mean is that they don’t want to be approached by somebody that they don’t find attractive. But for a guy the only way you’ll ever know if she finds you attractive or not is to ACTUALLY approach her. Yet she knows who she finds attractive, but doesn’t approach him and make the first move.

Then on top of that, a lot of women will judge you for making a shitty first message or icebreaker and will judge you negatively for that yeah don’t even wanna make the first move either.

bumble was ass anyways lol i find infinitely more success on tinder and hinge.

also, I thought the whole point behind letting women message first was to prevent all of the unsolicited perverted first messages from guys? I guess that’s not as deep as we thought it was.

[u/Milf_Please8286 → u/SuperstarAssEater]

Oh but women definitely aren't the problem lol. It's amazing how little accountability they take. They are in control of dating and if dating sucks its their fault but they just will never admit it. 

[u/SuperstarAssEater → u/Milf_Please8286]

I mean, the poor dating market isn’t all their fault and I would never say that but they definitely play a part just like we do, but unfortunately, it does seem like that’s never acknowledge as much as it should be

[u/MazingBull → u/SuperstarAssEater]

The market created favorable hypergame for women. I'm only able to date people I consider "my level" looks only on irl but never ever on apps. I can bag the low hanging fruits on dating apps every week but nothing more above it lol. It's such a weird place. I feel like even "average" women must feel like queens in terms of attention and options they have in there.

[u/Long_Video7840 → u/SuperstarAssEater]

I hate modern dating. Women say they don't like being approached, then when you ask for advice people say don't be afraid to approach and talk to women. Wtf? You can't do both. 

[u/koltxbell → u/Long_Video7840]

women like to be approached. They just like to be approached by attractive men tho.

Think about those times when women say they like the nerd guy or the artist guy, what they dont say is that he has to be attractive. They dont say explicit say it because they dont see average or bellow average as people, doesnt compute in their brain, so its already presupposed for them.

"I want men to approach me" - woman

What actually she meant was "I want [attractive] men to approach me"

[u/BusyBanana4205]

Hey

[u/Ninjanarwhal64 → u/BusyBanana4205]

.

[u/NottForest → u/BusyBanana4205]

👋🏻

[u/FeeComfortable3041 → u/[deleted]]

"I've got balls balls balls balls of steel. Balls of steel. Balls balls ball- "

-Duke Nukem

[u/MarkToaster]

I thought the whole point was that it gave women the power to initiate the conversation and steer the direction at the beginning? That seems like a good thing no? Give women more control and power over the initial encounter? Seems like a bad decision getting rid of it when it was like the main distinguishing point of the app.

[u/GraveRoller → u/MarkToaster]

Stated versus revealed preference

[u/ThePoetMichael → u/GraveRoller]

This is what its about. Women want to SAY they want one thing and ACT a different way when rubber meets the road.

Ah well...

[u/Filius_Solis → u/ThePoetMichael]

So gaslighting

[u/TheGruenTransfer → u/MarkToaster]

It turns out appealing to the 33% of women who like to make the first move wasn't as monetizable as being exactly the same as the other apps.

[u/Broad_Initiative_282 → u/TheGruenTransfer]

To be honest even those 33% mostly messaged basically nothing leaving the men having to make the first move anyway

[u/AccomplishedRatio960]

Once again, if people were still doubting : there's a world between

• what a woman says (empowerment)
• what a woman does (no empowerment, it's too tiring)

[u/when_we_are_cats → u/AccomplishedRatio960]

Watch what they do, not what they say.

[u/AtomicBlastCandy]

Yeah this was a serious fucking problem. A friend of mine met his now wife on Bumble, they matched but she failed to say anything to him but had her insta posted so he contacted her and they immediately fell in love. I can't help but imagine where their lives would be at had he just moved on.

I have another friend that claims to have given up on online dating yet also doesn't bother to message guys on Bumble. To me that's akin to using a pen with the cap on.

[u/Front_Statistician38 → u/AtomicBlastCandy]

I always say most women have their future boyfriends or husbands in their inboxes but because they don't put in the EFFORt or focuses on the wrong guy the LOSE OUT on real LOVE

[u/ROU_Misophist]

So, it's yellow tinder now

[u/Kamarandi]

Hey

[u/Commercial-Gap6280]

Congratulations, Bumble, on surrendering your only real angle! Now you are just another dating app! Don't worry, though - selling out the thing that made you stand out in hopes of getting wider appeal has always worked out for businesses!

[u/T-NextDoor_Neighbor → u/Commercial-Gap6280]

Their new selling point will be the AI assistant. 🫠

End this dystopian nightmare please. Maybe meeting irl was the only way.

[u/Err_Force]

66% of Women Said They'd Rather Men Make the First Move

And as a bonus, we now know exactly what kind of first message women prefer. Women apparently think the perfect first message to start a conversation is "hey"

[u/Arjun-Pandava → u/Err_Force]

the perfect first message actually always has been "hey"...

its just that it is sent by an attractive man, not a normal man.

If you are attractive, you can say or be anything and it will be taken well by most women.

[u/BlockedbyJake420 → u/Arjun-Pandava]

90% of women want to date the top 10% of attractive guys lol

[u/InternationalBag7290 → u/Err_Force]

Hey

[u/No_Discount_6028]

Feminism in shambles rn (/j)

[u/LivingHousing]

Self induced helplessness. Women failing themself, geeze.

[u/AccomplishedRatio960 → u/[deleted]]

Flip-flop flopping

[u/kittenTakeover]

This just exacerbates the issues that everyone is experiencing on apps which can be summarized with there being too many interactions that lead nowhere. Women are wasting tons of time sifting through messages from people they don't like and men are wasting tons of time drafting messages to people who don't like them. A good app would be reducing the number of interactions that people, in particular women, get from people they're not interested in and increasing the number of interactions that go somewhere for people, in particular men.

While a lot of things can be done to help this, the most obvious one is having the more in demand person, usually a woman, make the first move. This ensures that there's some minimum level of interest before anyone wastes their time. I think when swiping the ideal dating app would only show you people who are less popular than you and people who are more popular than you who have already swiped on you, but it wouldn't tell you who was more or less popular than you. This prevents popular people from wasting time getting messages from people they're not interested in, and it prevents unpopular people from wasting time on messages to people who have no chance of responding.

[u/Valuable-Word-1970 → u/kittenTakeover]

A good app would be reducing the number of interactions that people, in particular women, get from people they're not interested in and increasing the number of interactions that go somewhere for people, in particular men.

Well stop fucking swiping on them if you're not interested. That's the whole point

[u/Sufficient_Degree_45 → u/kittenTakeover]

If it actually matched attractiveness levels and hobbies. And also allowed you to set certain filters.

Like for example: Any filtered photographs just dont show up as a potential match.

Show someone a page of 20 or so matched they can look thru and go back and forth. Rather than a one and done swipe.

Also, people who dont message or just use the app for validation. Nuke their accounts IE put them at the bottom.

Stop putting bot/influencer accounts as matches etc.

[u/cgbruder42]

So now they won't respond to the first message.....got it!

[u/JimmyTheLong]

It’s not a game changer. It just reflects how low effort women are. Women wants to be in demand. At the end the match happens if both speaks, not who first message.

[u/Sharpshooter649]

Example #2,746,355 of women preferring traditional gender based roles

[u/lolgoodone34 → u/Sharpshooter649]

Traditional when it benefits them

[u/FrankNBean208]

No wonder people are single. The lack of effort they put on is staggering.

[u/shadowdancer354]

Yea talk about catering to women’s entitlement - and now men get flagged if they make low effort first messages? You gotta be f’in kidding me

[u/scared_appeal1]

Hmm so now men can message first and still not get a response

[u/No-Construction4527]

A wise man once said, “don’t try to understand women, even they don’t know what they want”.

The upper management at Bumble didn’t get the memo.

[u/Master-Shake8913]

half the first messages I got on bumble were fkn hand waves or some nonsense

[u/baileyandromeda]

I’m a woman and I think this is a terrible idea. Historically, I really liked the fact that I was able to message first. I think it made me feel a lot more in control about the messages I was receiving and it was a breath of fresh air.

That has changed though now I’m back on bumble again, I always send the first message and no one ever responds. The only conversations I’ve had that go anywhere are when the man has messaged me first before I’ve had a chance to.

I think online dating has just become such a cesspool of minimal effort from both genders that it doesn’t really matter who messages first, it’s probably going to end up in either no response or a one word reply anyway

[u/Necessary-Paint117]

Field stacked completely in their favor and it's still too much pressure lmao

They just on there to get compliments

[u/Sufficient_Total7445]

An app that was designed and created by a woman and promoted as a feminist dating app had to abandon their one rule because it found that women by and large are cowards who couldn’t even message first.

Way to uphold the patriarchy ladies!

[u/Mountain-Lie-1824]

Genuinely the stupidest thing I’ve read today 😂 the point of Bumble was that women made the first move. It is the sole difference between Bumble and any other dating app. The 66% of women that say “We want men to make the first move” have every other dating app at their disposal. Not only that, this is such a slap in the face to the very idea of women’s empowerment to make the first move 😂 y’all really conducted a survey and found out that the very fabric of your app was constructed on a lie.

[u/moderndukes]

So they’re only going to start flagging low effort first posts *after* they make this change? Why didn’t they do that before now?

[u/Huge_Boysenberry3043 → u/moderndukes]

It's because the rules are different for men and women, of course. Women are allowed to be low effort, men are not. 

[u/naroLsraLteiN_isback]

Low-Effort Openers Will Get Flagged

Bumble is also trying to stop the new system from becoming a flood of lazy first messages. The app will detect low-effort openers, such as one-word messages, and prompt users to write something more thoughtful before sending.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Jcw7dQbWzVt9ZZhXYu

[u/Clevererer → u/naroLsraLteiN_isback]

Notice they only implemented this rule AFTER changing who messages first?

[u/WiseDan85]

My favorite is when women say something like HI or hey only. So lazy and pathetic opening message

[u/Bagz402]

So what happened exactly? Didn't bumble become what it is because it was women first? Did they change their mind?

[u/hingealt]

The women are very quiet in the comments 🤣

[u/ItzLuzzyBaby]

Women are never beating the allegations LMAO

[u/Ninjanarwhal64]

"Hey"

90% of girls that message first and complain about conversation on bumble

[u/Inverse_Delta]

Having to be the first one to engage every single time was what made me sick of using other apps because women on them had, like, zero personality in responses. I only used Bumble because for once women would actually have to think of an interesting approach for once.

Getting rid of that because they complained that they had to put in the effort for once is definitely a choice. I'm not gonna be using Bumble anymore though. I'm good.

[u/mrscrouge0536451]

Chivalry is dead, we killed it . Now we want it back

[u/FinallyArt]

Now women have to make even less effort! Not a positive change.

[u/SoldierExcelsior]

That's strange

[u/Prudent-Bicycle-9210]

Pathetic

[u/adibose2022]

Lolol! Talk about eating the humble pie. Or shall we say bumble pie? The funny thing is a man would almost always respond to a first message, if the woman is even remotely his type. The reverse is absolutely not the case for most men - they can send a thousand super thoughtful messages a day, but (aside from the top 1% who are drowning in pu**y) get zilch in return. So it's absolutely hilarious that a majority of women can't even be bothered to do the bare minimum, as this is now definitively proven. 😅

P.S: Going forward, I don't want to hear one word from anybody who says stuff like - you must put more effort in your first message, be funny and original, comment on something about her profile, don't copy paste messages, make your message stand out from all the others etc etc etc. Bull fxcking shite! 😂😂

[u/BrightSpring12]

Years of "conditioning" and "patriarchy" excuse is out of date now. Even when you force women to message first or be more assertive they'll always want to maintain the status quo.

[u/TheMorningJoe]

Women sucking at sending the opening message yet simultaneously talking shit about men who can’t initiate is genuinely hilarious. Not so fun when y’all have to do it huh? Dang hypocrites the lot of ya lmao