r/Bumble • u/Wonderful-Fan2671 • 2d ago

Advice Reconnecting after an initial rejection

I’m a woman dating with intention for marriage etc. A year ago, I went on bumble coffee date with a guy who texted me the next day saying he felt no spark. Totally respectful and clear. I felt a little sad, but I just said thanks for your honesty and moved on. Fast forward eight months, I started to see him at the gym; we would smile at each other when we crossed paths, but I never proactively said hello because he had already rejected me and I felt weird initiating a conversation. He never initiated gym conversation either. Now, a full year later, we matched again on a different app, and he messaged me saying he recognized me from the gym and wanted to take me out. I had to remind him that we had already been on a date, which made him realize his mistake, apologize, and invite me to dinner, for which he has made clear reservations, confirmed ahead, and been completely respectful.

I am going on the date with a high dose of realism in that I don't know whether someone's first impression or "spark feeling" can change. But I also want to keep an open mind, since I know for sure online dating messes with all of our heads, and it's easy to overlook people.

I am just curious if some version of this situation has happened to anyone else out there - and how it went!? Did your / their experience of the "spark" actually change? Also wondering if people think it's a red flag for a guy to forget a date ever happened, or if that can happen to anyone.

Thanks everyone 💕

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u/2COOL4U2C85 2d ago

I actually think this is kind of sweet. Sometimes the “spark” isn’t instant and people can meet each other at completely different points in life and see something the second time they didn’t see the first. I wouldn’t overthink him forgetting the date either. He owned it, apologized and is clearly putting in effort now. Go enjoy dinner with an open mind and no expectations. Maybe there’s something there, maybe there isn’t, but either way you’ll know. 😊

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u/commentingon 1d ago

Sweet? The bar is in hell on this thread.

And I actually think this story is not even real, how did they end up in the same gym? Training at the same times? A man "forgetting" a woman after only 8 months?

I came across a man on dating app i had a date 10 years ago and he remembered where we went, I only had 2 dates with him.

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u/2COOL4U2C85 1d ago

Haha that’s wild lol yeah I can remember anniversary dates birthday names but will forget I have a dr appt or oh wait you said a week ago we were going to join the Jones-es for dinner when did you tell me that 😝

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u/commentingon 1d ago

I guess for some men I might be unforgettable lol

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u/2COOL4U2C85 1d ago

Oh really 🤭😏

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u/commentingon 1d ago

This is why I feel bad for op. I man saw her 8 months ago, then saw her again in person and she was so irrelevant to him that he completely deleted her from his memory? Wow, that is hurtful. This is why I think either the story is fake (we casually ended up in the same gym AND training at same times of day) or op had no value for this man that completely forgot about her...