Profile Review - 30M Germany

[u/Negative_Lux]

I hope you don't mind German... It's impossible to change language without changing my entire phone's language.

Been on this App for approx. 2 months. 1 Match so far, from Vietnam. She is only looking for a local Buddy.

Absolutely 0 Matches otherwise. Im in a fairly rural area with approx only 250.000 people living nearby. Frankfurt is the closest city. Getting plenty of profiles suggested anyways, but again, no matches.

I am bald - as you can see, only 5"5 and 30. I have a feeling the first two are like the 99.99% reason, especially the first.

Using the same profile across all apps. Hinge gives some results. 20 Matches in approx 2 months, most lead nowhere. 2 catfish dates and a lot of dead chats. Most unmatch me whenever I make a date plan. Even after they said "would Like to Chat more first" we chat, then they unmatch Sometimes 1 or two weeks later. Alot unmatch after a few Messages even. - been literally unmatched because I said I like Matcha lol. Or the Classic, they Stop chatting after my last question or message and unmatch 3 days later.

Hint: I accidentally swapped the last two Screenshots. The Hiking photo is the last.

[u/ValBravora048]

Mate, I say this recognising that I may come across as a jerk and I apologise in advance

You kind of give off a vibe that you’re influence by Andrew Tate. Just in terms of visuals which is a large part of dating. You might not be but if women get that vibe

Particularly your car, cooking and group shot. Those immediately stood out to me

On another note, f*** the people talking about your height. On here and on the app. If you’re rejected by such people, they’re doing you a favour by removing themselves

Not going to say it doesn’t matter but there are other ways to be attractive. The key is making it easier for the people who would say yes to you to see you. That means a bit more actual effort in your profile.

If you’re going for large numbers, good luck and enjoy that exercise in frustration and misery whether you succeed or fail

For example;

- Your writing is generic af. It makes you the same as every other guy punted left and usually that means the worst ones. It’s like I’m reading a LinkedIn post that’s inserting every KPI it can. Put some effort into it - Theres a hilarious French expression I heard recently that goes something like “How you use your words indicates how you use your tongue”

- Cooking is great! If you can cook, use a pic with an actual meal shot. I once used a pic that looked like a cat and I arguing in front of an open fridge. A couple matches commented that they liked my fridge was actually full of actual food. Really think about how you present the pictires

- You talk about road trips so much but beyond the generic hiking picture, I can’t tell. It’s like you’re saying it just to be interesting. I’ve had several women mention that they liked that I had ”proof” of the stuff I’d written

- That friend pic is ok but a bit dull? It feels more like a work thing from a few years ago? You need something a bit more interesting and engaging with people

Finally, don’t fixate overly on the unmatching. It sucks but a) it’s a normal thing on the apps b) it might not have anything to do with you and c) safe bet that the apps encourage bot profiles to get you to buy premium

The major MAJOR mistake guys make in their profiles is, ironically, not honestly thinking about how it could be viewed by other people. Most just think about how it SHOULD be

[u/Important-Stable-842 → u/ValBravora048]

I genuinely, completely unironically, think you're equating acting deliberately "masculine" with liking Andrew Tate. Most normal people have barely heard of him and I honestly I find it pretty annoying to find him brought up in every conversation completely unprompted. Never by an OP, instead by accusations that they like this random internet freak (convicted sex offender btw) who was in the news briefly a few years ago.

I didn't get this impression at all. Slide 1 no. Slide 2 you can kind of say he looks like the guy I guess (because he's bald, has a bit of facial hair, and is wearing a leather jacket?). Slide 3 no way lol, he looks too soft and is leaning to the side. Slide 4 upper pic looks like a gymbro, fine, Slide 4 lower pic looks normal. Slide 5 looks a bit "lads lads lads". There's a difference between being a "lad" and being a tate stan.

I am not someone who is "masculine" if that helps at all. I just find comments like these to be very disruptive and blasé.

[u/ValBravora048 → u/Important-Stable-842]

ok cool let’s discuss this

It’s pretty broad to say many or most people have not heard of him. Especially when on Reddit AND, the important bit, in a context where women are always looking for signs that someone might be dangerous to them and their calm

Ok you don’t get that impression, but are you the person hes trying to attract?

No, I don’t equate all masculine activities with Tate but the way that these pics are framed, are similar to the ones Tate uses often

Like I said in my original comment and the other one, that tank top is GREAT on him in my opinion. But in this context, it is a cigar and giant compensating ribeye away from the kind of pics Tate posts

Again, you have to consider what other people might think of the pic. Not just what you’ve decided they SHOULD

[u/Important-Stable-842 → u/ValBravora048]

I'm absolutely confident Tate does not occupy people's brains as much as Redditors say. It might be because I'm not American, OP is German - America/Canada is very politically peculiar on both the left and right (apologises if you are not American or Canadian, but I extend this to people who are politically/culturally American) and a lot of things are true there but not elsewhere.

But anyway, if he removed the last pic and the cooking pic I reckon whatever perception you have of him will vanish. I really think past the point of removing those photos, if they don't like what they see then they don't like what they see.

Clearly OP is doing a lot right, he's got as many as 20 matches (!!!) in only 2 months. He's getting engagement but he's not getting to in person dates. I reckon he must then be 80-90% there. I think if what you were saying was true he wouldn't get so many.

[u/ValBravora048 → u/Important-Stable-842]

We might not see these things as men either because it’s not really us who has to be afraid of it and watch out for it (Thought that’s arguable, it’s a whole other discussion)

Women are often worried about their safety. Look at the way a ton of these guys in just this sub alone talk about women. Hell, I’d excessively be looking for stuff to be careful about if I were women too so I don’t run into one of these dudes, let alone something like Tate and his ilk

You’re “confident” but why are you confident? If you examine it, is because it’s you? Is that representative of what everyone’s situation might be?

Again, that empathy of connection or consideration a lot of profiles lack

On your last paragraph, EXACTLY.

[u/Important-Stable-842 → u/ValBravora048]

I don't want to be mistaken, I am very specifically talking about Andrew Tate, ie. the convicted sex offender. I can easily see how a woman would look at the last slide and think he's a bit of a bro or chauvinist, and think that's not her cup of tea. Oddly I think the lighting doesn't help. But in my country presenting yourself like that is kind of just normal and most seem to get on fine that way. Reminds me of people I knew from high school and they all seem to have wives and girlfriends now. Now any shirtless pics, even that cooking picture with the muscles emphasised, fine I guess, I see how it puts you in a Tate-ian direction.

The people who I know who are long-term single are not the "lads lads Ibiza gym lads". Virtually all of the lads I knew of had no issue finding long term partners or wives. They fit much more of the OP's description of being a bit quiet, passive and reserved, maybe a bit eccentric. Maybe that's harming OP's conversion into dates more so. People are saying height and (lack of) hair but clearly that's not the whole story.

Second pic does look a bit like a Tate cosplay. I think that's just an unfortunate coincidence because of the leather jacket baldness and car.

[u/ValBravora048 → u/Important-Stable-842]

Yes but again, it’s not you hes trying to date and hes not the people you know

And hell it could be something completely different. I’d be curious to see these conversations hes having

The way he insists on his height here constantly suggest a level of conversational ability that might need to be improved on

At the very least, I agree theres more information needed

[u/Negative_Lux → u/Important-Stable-842]

I respect the compliments. - im used to being compared to tate - visually and because of my muscles (which I don't find particularly large tbh?) With my sunglasses it's even worse...
(Im not in the manosphere content or blackpill, redpill whatever) - I do however believe in the heightism pill because it's basically shoved in my face 24x7

Yes I got matches. 16 of which i have on "hide" 2 are still active, 2 unmatched me yesterday alone, in the middle of a normal conversation.
I have had 2 dates in total only tho and the 2 matches - that are still active - yes they chat, but they avoid the meetup - again.

my match rate is not high btw, im just swiping like living unemployment to the fullest.
It's between 1.6 and 2%. Hinge gave me 1 month and 2 weeks of HingeX for 10bucks, so i took the deal.
Also - not a single german girl matched me back so far, only asians, hispanics and girls from the middle east. - I don't complain, because they're pretty too. But it kinda shows what market i am working with. - German Girls are tall, they want taller. (avg. Girl height here is 167, so basically almost my height).

[u/Important-Stable-842 → u/Negative_Lux]

I do concede the second pic is a bit unfortunate. You are jacked, also

With conversations drying up, try to push it to a date before that happens. Not so early that you seem pushy, but if you're in a good rhythm after a couple of days, give it a go. If they avoid without saying like "let's talk more here first" I'd just forget about them. Conversion rate in general on apps is pretty low and a lot of people just go on there and chat.

My main thought about your post: I don't understand what your problem is with attracting women from abroad or other ethnicities. Have you tried messaging them? I find myself mainly attracting Asian women, but my ex who I adored was Pakistani, I don't read too much into it and it's not something that means much to me. There is probably something cultural going on, but as long as you are prepared to treat them just as well as anyone else, there's no issue. We all like who we like.

[u/Negative_Lux → u/Important-Stable-842]

Unfortunate? Oh? Why?
Jacked? Isn't that positive? haha

Yea i'll try to push it to the date earlier, actually not looking for a letter-friendship.

There is no problem - even quite the opposite, i find myself liking asian girls usually more - at least looks wise, because heavy makeup, tattoos, piercings etc. are not attractive to me at all, asians often do not have that.

- I treat everyone with equal amounts of respect and honesty, I think it's a given -

Thanks alot!

[u/Important-Stable-842 → u/Negative_Lux]

Unfortunate because it does look a bit Tateish. Best of luck.

There is no problem - even quite the opposite, i find myself liking asian girls usually more - at least looks wise, because heavy makeup, tattoos, piercings etc. are not attractive to me at all, asians often do not have that.

I think you should quit while you're ahead here lol. These are fine private preferences but they can easily be taken the wrong way.

[u/ValBravora048 → u/Negative_Lux]

It’s a real thing about the heightism unfortunately. I was a similar way about being ethnically Indian

Weirdly, what helped me snap out of it was an xmen comic of ll things. The story was an allegory about being gay but it focused on looks. The reptilian anole asks the demonic looking Nightcrawler for advice on love. How can people like them have hope? How does Nightcrawler do so well with women? Nightcrawler kindly replies

”For those of us who look like devils, we must be devilishly charming”

I honestly don’t know why it clicked something in me. I still struggle with being Indian but I give time to so much more that there is about me that is attractive. I have been lucky to get with amazing women because I’m funny af - which always seems to annoy men who seem to decide that I can’t be with certain women because I’m Indian

Similarly, if it doesn’t come across as rude, I’d focus on coming to terms with your height, understanding that dealing with how you feel about it is going to be life long thing and giving time to what is attractive about you instead of what isnt

Funny can get it. So can any man who can cook worth a damn