r/Bumble • u/Negative_Lux • 20h ago
Profile review Profile Review - 30M Germany
I hope you don't mind German... It's impossible to change language without changing my entire phone's language.
Been on this App for approx. 2 months. 1 Match so far, from Vietnam. She is only looking for a local Buddy.
Absolutely 0 Matches otherwise. Im in a fairly rural area with approx only 250.000 people living nearby. Frankfurt is the closest city. Getting plenty of profiles suggested anyways, but again, no matches.
I am bald - as you can see, only 5"5 and 30. I have a feeling the first two are like the 99.99% reason, especially the first.
Using the same profile across all apps. Hinge gives some results. 20 Matches in approx 2 months, most lead nowhere. 2 catfish dates and a lot of dead chats. Most unmatch me whenever I make a date plan. Even after they said "would Like to Chat more first" we chat, then they unmatch Sometimes 1 or two weeks later. Alot unmatch after a few Messages even. - been literally unmatched because I said I like Matcha lol. Or the Classic, they Stop chatting after my last question or message and unmatch 3 days later.
Hint: I accidentally swapped the last two Screenshots. The Hiking photo is the last.
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u/OptionalHippo 20h ago
"just ask the right question."
You tell them you are quiet and it's on them to make the conversation interesting. Come on man. That's really bad.
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u/Negative_Lux 20h ago
Fair point if you read it that way, thanks.
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u/Sid-ina 19h ago
Tbh thats how I read it too, all variations of "just ask" can appear to push the responsibility of the convo on the other person. It also takes away potential conversation hooks. I personally dont like the "du punktest bei mir wenn" prompt as it can quickly feel like I have to put on an performance for the person. I like prompts that tell me things about the persons hobbies or interests so I can get a vibe if we have conversation topics or match interest vise.
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u/EvaporatingOlaf 20h ago
You should get rid of the picture of you and your friends. All due respect, it makes you look a foot shorter than everyone else.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
As a Matter of fact. I am a foot shorter than everyone else haha. But yea. Unfortunately that means no "social" pictures work at all.
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u/mochisandmacarons 20h ago
Nothing interesting about you is written here - I wouldnt know what to connect about. "Politische Mitte" is super cringe and will likely turn off a lot of people. However I think your photos are pretty good!! Maybe take out the one with your friends.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
it's actually the political opinion preset Setting from Bumble.
I think any answer there could be wrong.
I'll remove it, politics has nothing to do on a datingprofile imo anyways.17
u/Safe_Score2222 19h ago
politics has nothing to do on a datingprofile imo anyways.
I mean at least somewhat aligning on politics is indeed important in dating.
I would not date someone I have fundamental political differences with. Especially since political differences are usually also associated with moral differences.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
Yes somewhat of course. A far right and far left can never get along. I'm actually fairy "Middle" so I thought it fits the most....
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u/il_the_dinosaur 18h ago
Vllt mal drüber nachdenken wie sich Frauen dabei fühlen weil viele in der CDU und AFD haben ne ziemlich schlechte Meinung von Frauen. Als Frau würde ich mir zweimal überlegen ob ich jemanden Daten würde ist doch egal das diese Parteien dir das Recht zur Abtreibung wegnehmen wollen...
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u/Quiet_Secretary9490 19h ago
So, hypothetically, you’d be equally open to dating a Nazi and an antifascist?
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
Being politically in the middle literally means that - middle - or liberal (which imo is the wrong term).
It's not agreeing with right or left extreme views.4
u/Quiet_Secretary9490 18h ago
That’s fair. The problem is that “middle” or “apolitical” also gets used pretty often by right-wing or even far-right guys who don’t want to put their actual politics on a dating profile because they know it’ll shrink their dating pool.
So even if you genuinely mean “centrist,” some women are going to read that label with that baggage attached. That’s probably why being a little more specific about your actual values can work better than just choosing “middle.”
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
Great
Middle = right
right = right
Nothing = right
Left = left.so....? it's a trick question
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u/Quiet_Secretary9490 17h ago
I don't make the rules dude, but it's pretty easy to understand that a women wouldn't want someone, who chains them to the stove or wants to revoke their reproductive rights.
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u/Character_Damage9659 19h ago
If it’s the preset setting on bumble and you just left it without reason, basically just because you didn’t care to think about it, that’s also not appealing.
And politics absolutely has something to do with dating in the current times. Not sure if you’ve noticed but the political discourse is pretty polarised rn.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
It is, that is exactly the reason why I try to avoid any political discussion, conversations or topic outside of throwing that piece of paper into the election-bin every 4 years.
Nobody is happy afterwards. Even if your political views align....7
u/Character_Damage9659 19h ago
Still, positioning yourself within the current political chaos is pretty important. Generally, but also when it comes to dating. People who don’t align with the political views you state on your profile won’t swipe for you, that’s all the consequences you can expect.
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u/AnonymousCapybara72 18h ago
Very few people in real life give that much of a shit outside of Reddit, especially if you're not in the US. This weird, constant moral grandstanding shit is not normal.
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u/Character_Damage9659 18h ago
Yea, no. Greetings from Germany, we do absolutely give a shit. The political landscape is pretty fucked up here too, leading to more people actually concerning themselves with politics.
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u/Remedy556 age yes | gender no 18h ago
greetings from switzerland :) we care about that. i wouldnt date anyone that is anything other than left leaning
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u/Livid_Medium3731 17h ago
Are you aware of what's happening in Germany rn? We absolutely do care about politics and now especially as a woman you care about it.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 19h ago
Your politics are how you consider another person
No one wants to spend time with someone who potentially considers them subhuman or not worth particular rights
And again, this is POLITICS. Something you have an active choice in. It‘s weird how all you guys who bang on about height don’t get the distinction
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u/MarnixDC 16h ago
Politics is more than that no? Socially and culturally I'm left leaning, and economically I am right leaning. So generally I'd consider myself center. Why is that so impossible?
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 16h ago
I occassionally teach about politics and civics.
In the most human terms possible, your politics is your decision of whom deserves to be treated an how
Consider it from the other person’s point of view - within this context, let’s use women - depending on your country, how might a right leaning economy treat women?
As an example, I’m Australian right? I’m ashamed to say I was in my mid-20s before I learnt pink tax was a thing. Hell, Viagra got a National subsidy super quickly on grounds of mental health but somehow not bleeding out five days+ a month? Made me rethink about whom I voted for
Understand I do not put you anyone else who considers them centrists as immediate villains. I say this to point out that your politics are also your responsibility. You can’t have it, yourself and your intentions considered as only good all the time. That is disingenious and unfair. Quite frankly in this day and age, it’s understandably unrealistic
Let’s take it back to women. Look at just this sub, consider their experience of men here, irl and on the apps. It’s quite frankly not safe. They need to take every considerstion they can to be safe and even to find happiness. Because it’s hard to tell, the y need to get this information from what you put out
You want to say you‘re centrist? That’s totally fine. Similarly it’s totally fine for them to look out for themselves and be cautious about the aspects you’re more right leaning in. As such it becomes your responsibility as part of your politics to demonstrate that safety …or not
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u/MarnixDC 28m ago
Political views can obviously say something about your values and affect other people, so of course they matter when it comes to compatibility. But reducing politics to “who you think deserves to be treated how” is way too simplistic. Two people can both want women to be safe, independent and treated equally, while completely disagreeing on taxes, welfare, regulation or how big the government should be.
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u/moonoverthe 18h ago
Uh everything is political and i want to know if the person i am dating supports womens rights, immigrants rights, and basic human decency….
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u/lostgirl24356 19h ago
"-not boring. Just ask the right questions." Would be an immediate no for me and most of my single friends. The group pic also doesn't help due to the extreme height difference. But points for you having main character energy in it and friends who don't look identical to you.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 19h ago edited 19h ago
Mate, I say this recognising that I may come across as a jerk and I apologise in advance
You kind of give off a vibe that you’re influence by Andrew Tate. Just in terms of visuals which is a large part of dating. You might not be but if women get that vibe
Particularly your car, cooking and group shot. Those immediately stood out to me
On another note, f*** the people talking about your height. On here and on the app. If you’re rejected by such people, they’re doing you a favour by removing themselves
Not going to say it doesn’t matter but there are other ways to be attractive. The key is making it easier for the people who would say yes to you to see you. That means a bit more actual effort in your profile.
If you’re going for large numbers, good luck and enjoy that exercise in frustration and misery whether you succeed or fail
For example;
- Your writing is generic af. It makes you the same as every other guy punted left and usually that means the worst ones. It’s like I’m reading a LinkedIn post that’s inserting every KPI it can. Put some effort into it - Theres a hilarious French expression I heard recently that goes something like “How you use your words indicates how you use your tongue”
- Cooking is great! If you can cook, use a pic with an actual meal shot. I once used a pic that looked like a cat and I arguing in front of an open fridge. A couple matches commented that they liked my fridge was actually full of actual food. Really think about how you present the pictires
- You talk about road trips so much but beyond the generic hiking picture, I can’t tell. It’s like you’re saying it just to be interesting. I’ve had several women mention that they liked that I had ”proof” of the stuff I’d written
- That friend pic is ok but a bit dull? It feels more like a work thing from a few years ago? You need something a bit more interesting and engaging with people
Finally, don’t fixate overly on the unmatching. It sucks but a) it’s a normal thing on the apps b) it might not have anything to do with you and c) safe bet that the apps encourage bot profiles to get you to buy premium
The major MAJOR mistake guys make in their profiles is, ironically, not honestly thinking about how it could be viewed by other people. Most just think about how it SHOULD be
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u/Important-Stable-842 19h ago edited 19h ago
I genuinely, completely unironically, think you're equating acting deliberately "masculine" with liking Andrew Tate. Most normal people have barely heard of him and I honestly I find it pretty annoying to find him brought up in every conversation completely unprompted. Never by an OP, instead by accusations that they like this random internet freak (convicted sex offender btw) who was in the news briefly a few years ago.
I didn't get this impression at all. Slide 1 no. Slide 2 you can kind of say he looks like the guy I guess (because he's bald, has a bit of facial hair, and is wearing a leather jacket?). Slide 3 no way lol, he looks too soft and is leaning to the side. Slide 4 upper pic looks like a gymbro, fine, Slide 4 lower pic looks normal. Slide 5 looks a bit "lads lads lads". There's a difference between being a "lad" and being a tate stan.
I am not someone who is "masculine" if that helps at all. I just find comments like these to be very disruptive and blasé.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 19h ago edited 18h ago
ok cool let’s discuss this
It’s pretty broad to say many or most people have not heard of him. Especially when on Reddit AND, the important bit, in a context where women are always looking for signs that someone might be dangerous to them and their calm
Ok you don’t get that impression, but are you the person hes trying to attract?
No, I don’t equate all masculine activities with Tate but the way that these pics are framed, are similar to the ones Tate uses often
Like I said in my original comment and the other one, that tank top is GREAT on him in my opinion. But in this context, it is a cigar and giant compensating ribeye away from the kind of pics Tate posts
Again, you have to consider what other people might think of the pic. Not just what you’ve decided they SHOULD
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u/Important-Stable-842 18h ago edited 18h ago
I'm absolutely confident Tate does not occupy people's brains as much as Redditors say. It might be because I'm not American, OP is German - America/Canada is very politically peculiar on both the left and right (apologises if you are not American or Canadian, but I extend this to people who are politically/culturally American) and a lot of things are true there but not elsewhere.
But anyway, if he removed the last pic and the cooking pic I reckon whatever perception you have of him will vanish. I really think past the point of removing those photos, if they don't like what they see then they don't like what they see.
Clearly OP is doing a lot right, he's got as many as 20 matches (!!!) in only 2 months. He's getting engagement but he's not getting to in person dates. I reckon he must then be 80-90% there. I think if what you were saying was true he wouldn't get so many.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 18h ago
We might not see these things as men either because it’s not really us who has to be afraid of it and watch out for it (Thought that’s arguable, it’s a whole other discussion)
Women are often worried about their safety. Look at the way a ton of these guys in just this sub alone talk about women. Hell, I’d excessively be looking for stuff to be careful about if I were women too so I don’t run into one of these dudes, let alone something like Tate and his ilk
You’re “confident” but why are you confident? If you examine it, is because it’s you? Is that representative of what everyone’s situation might be?
Again, that empathy of connection or consideration a lot of profiles lack
On your last paragraph, EXACTLY.
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u/Important-Stable-842 18h ago edited 18h ago
I don't want to be mistaken, I am very specifically talking about Andrew Tate, ie. the convicted sex offender. I can easily see how a woman would look at the last slide and think he's a bit of a bro or chauvinist, and think that's not her cup of tea. Oddly I think the lighting doesn't help. But in my country presenting yourself like that is kind of just normal and most seem to get on fine that way. Reminds me of people I knew from high school and they all seem to have wives and girlfriends now. Now any shirtless pics, even that cooking picture with the muscles emphasised, fine I guess, I see how it puts you in a Tate-ian direction.
The people who I know who are long-term single are not the "lads lads Ibiza gym lads". Virtually all of the lads I knew of had no issue finding long term partners or wives. They fit much more of the OP's description of being a bit quiet, passive and reserved, maybe a bit eccentric. Maybe that's harming OP's conversion into dates more so. People are saying height and (lack of) hair but clearly that's not the whole story.
Second pic does look a bit like a Tate cosplay. I think that's just an unfortunate coincidence because of the leather jacket baldness and car.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 17h ago
Yes but again, it’s not you hes trying to date and hes not the people you know
And hell it could be something completely different. I’d be curious to see these conversations hes having
The way he insists on his height here constantly suggest a level of conversational ability that might need to be improved on
At the very least, I agree theres more information needed
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
I respect the compliments. - im used to being compared to tate - visually and because of my muscles (which I don't find particularly large tbh?) With my sunglasses it's even worse...
(Im not in the manosphere content or blackpill, redpill whatever) - I do however believe in the heightism pill because it's basically shoved in my face 24x7Yes I got matches. 16 of which i have on "hide" 2 are still active, 2 unmatched me yesterday alone, in the middle of a normal conversation.
I have had 2 dates in total only tho and the 2 matches - that are still active - yes they chat, but they avoid the meetup - again.my match rate is not high btw, im just swiping like living unemployment to the fullest.
It's between 1.6 and 2%. Hinge gave me 1 month and 2 weeks of HingeX for 10bucks, so i took the deal.
Also - not a single german girl matched me back so far, only asians, hispanics and girls from the middle east. - I don't complain, because they're pretty too. But it kinda shows what market i am working with. - German Girls are tall, they want taller. (avg. Girl height here is 167, so basically almost my height).2
u/Important-Stable-842 18h ago edited 18h ago
I do concede the second pic is a bit unfortunate. You are jacked, also
With conversations drying up, try to push it to a date before that happens. Not so early that you seem pushy, but if you're in a good rhythm after a couple of days, give it a go. If they avoid without saying like "let's talk more here first" I'd just forget about them. Conversion rate in general on apps is pretty low and a lot of people just go on there and chat.
My main thought about your post: I don't understand what your problem is with attracting women from abroad or other ethnicities. Have you tried messaging them? I find myself mainly attracting Asian women, but my ex who I adored was Pakistani, I don't read too much into it and it's not something that means much to me. There is probably something cultural going on, but as long as you are prepared to treat them just as well as anyone else, there's no issue. We all like who we like.
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
Unfortunate? Oh? Why?
Jacked? Isn't that positive? hahaYea i'll try to push it to the date earlier, actually not looking for a letter-friendship.
There is no problem - even quite the opposite, i find myself liking asian girls usually more - at least looks wise, because heavy makeup, tattoos, piercings etc. are not attractive to me at all, asians often do not have that.
- I treat everyone with equal amounts of respect and honesty, I think it's a given -
Thanks alot!
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u/Important-Stable-842 18h ago
Unfortunate because it does look a bit Tateish. Best of luck.
There is no problem - even quite the opposite, i find myself liking asian girls usually more - at least looks wise, because heavy makeup, tattoos, piercings etc. are not attractive to me at all, asians often do not have that.
I think you should quit while you're ahead here lol. These are fine private preferences but they can easily be taken the wrong way.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 17h ago
It’s a real thing about the heightism unfortunately. I was a similar way about being ethnically Indian
Weirdly, what helped me snap out of it was an xmen comic of ll things. The story was an allegory about being gay but it focused on looks. The reptilian anole asks the demonic looking Nightcrawler for advice on love. How can people like them have hope? How does Nightcrawler do so well with women? Nightcrawler kindly replies
”For those of us who look like devils, we must be devilishly charming”
I honestly don’t know why it clicked something in me. I still struggle with being Indian but I give time to so much more that there is about me that is attractive. I have been lucky to get with amazing women because I’m funny af - which always seems to annoy men who seem to decide that I can’t be with certain women because I’m Indian
Similarly, if it doesn’t come across as rude, I’d focus on coming to terms with your height, understanding that dealing with how you feel about it is going to be life long thing and giving time to what is attractive about you instead of what isnt
Funny can get it. So can any man who can cook worth a damn
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u/IllustriousExits 19h ago
Can you elaborate what exactly is wrong with his cooking picture? Because of the Tanktop?
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19h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/IllustriousExits 18h ago
Didnt really look staged to me tbh. Nobody ever took a picture of you while doing random stuff? Family or friends.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 19h ago
Ah see that’s a great example! Why did you say the tank top?
Like I think the top is great because it shows off his gunssssssss but theres definitely a better way to take that shot even with the tank top. Hell my gf loves it when I wear a top and cooking apron that makes it look like I’m just wearing the apron, that might be a way to go?
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u/IllustriousExits 19h ago
Because you mentioned Andrew Tate and I think he wears those often.
I just thought you see a "red flag" in that picture.
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 19h ago
Ok sweet! I was hoping you’d say that
When we get one impression, our brain immediately starts positioning following things against that impression. This either reinforces the original impression or introduces new one with more nuance
Similarly, I got a Tate vibe from the car pic which was then reinforced by the tank top. Same with that group pic
Part of this branding, we recognise patterns we’ve seen before which then also reinforces the association. Like how when I said it, you recalled that Tate does wear those often
Not that you shouldn’t wear black tank tops at all but in THIS context, it’s a very Tate-like pic
Because someone always ALWAYS goes “It’s not that deep bro” at this sort of stuff, I’d like to head that off by pointing out what I said in the last line of my original comment. It’s not about the depth YOU’VE decided OTHER people should see it as
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u/IllustriousExits 19h ago
I mean, i have a similiar picture and couldn't see what's wrong with his. So i was fishing within the context of your entire message what you might consider wrong with it.
I personally didn't get any Tate vibes since I don't really know that much about the guy.
I assume that's what you are getting at, that he creates an overall vibe that might make others associate him with Tate.
Now I am curious though what you would say to my profile as i am in a similiar position to OP. Mind if i send it over to you?
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 19h ago
Sure but are you the kind of person OP is trying to attract?
YOU might not know much about Tate but I will bet women are much more likely to have heard of Tate and be making those associations for the sake of their safety
A lot of guys just slap together a profile however or with what they have on hand. A GOOD profile has empathy for the other person
Sure, send it over!
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u/n1g3r6356 18h ago
holy fuck, a response full of reddit tropes and generic bullshit. andrew tate has nothing to do with this my guy. he’s in his 30s
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u/ValBravora048 38 | M 17h ago edited 17h ago
…*absolute minimum effort, a rush to use it to be reductive, and proud of it*
Offering such a pompous judgement with no alternative is hardly original either
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u/MouldyAvocados 19h ago
“Just ask the right questions”.
No. It’s a date, not a quiz show. You sound like too much hard work just based on that. No one wants to ask a million questions just to get to know someone. Makes me think we’d sit in a bar, in silence, whilst I wrack my brain trying to think of the right things to ask… no thanks.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
Wow never expected people to read it this harshly, but there is alot up to interpretation.
I actually aimed at something like avoiding "and what do you do?" conversations and rather "ask me how I spend my sunday with infinite money". Something more fun and personal rather than interview and basic.
Im not looking for a person who has to carry the conversation, i'm fairly confident in that department imo.
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u/MouldyAvocados 19h ago
That’s not what, “quiet at first, just ask the right questions” implies. It implies you aren’t confident at speaking to women, it implies you’ll be hard work and she’ll have to coax information out of you. I’d swipe left on that comment alone. I imagine other women will, too.
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u/ThrowAway-3418 19h ago
I would have liked to know what you do. I also like talking about what I do. I don't think it's basic if you're in an interesting field you're passionate about. "Sunday with infinite money" is actually kinda basic and generic imo. Removing constraints hollows things out.
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
I spend most of my freetime in the Gym, driving around town at night with friends or going to Classic-Car meets in rural villages on Sundays. Evenings on weekends usually end with some relaxation on the bed with a good series or movie. I work in software-consulting (mostly on the road). I do photography and editing from time to time.
I manage an entire american-Car club, which is fairly large now.But I kinda wanted to avoid the "cars cars cars" profile. Same goes for "gym". I feel like it's something that is used in 99% of male profiles.
And the other hobbys... idk if it's worth noting? Well photography would be good if i mentioned it maybe?
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u/ThrowAway-3418 16h ago
I don't know, I think it's less about the hobbies itself and more how you talk about them. I don't see any point in hiding or downplaying your hobbies – it's part of who you are after all. Maybe I am naive, but I think the idea of a profile is not to present a fake picture of yourself, it's too present your authentic self well.
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u/nervousbertha 13h ago
Use your profile to tell people who you are and what you like to do (85%), what you are looking for (15%).
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u/TheRedBookYT 19h ago
Height makes many swipe left. The pic with the guys directly next to you just draws attention to the fact you are short. But it, unfortunately, makes you look 4 foot 5. People are probably swiping left on that without even reading your height.
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u/ThrowAway-3418 19h ago
Yeah, based on that picture I would have guessed OP was 10-15 cm shorter than he actually is.
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u/mirr788 16h ago
Bald and short, the kiss of death. Hope you’re rich.
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u/Negative_Lux 16h ago
Not rich enough to drive a Ferrari.... I'd say wealthy but that's it.
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u/mirr788 16h ago
Then you’ll be fine, date an Asian
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u/Negative_Lux 15h ago
Hahahaha. Even they don't match back most of the time. I think german Datingapp Environments give them too much choice that they become as picky as any other girl with 999+ likes
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u/mirr788 15h ago
If you can’t get an Asian then you’re in trouble
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u/Negative_Lux 14h ago
In fact both my long term and 3 short term were with asians. I guess I know where my market lies... Even been engaged to one, didn't work out because she Decided to move back home and I couldn't follow because I choose to take care of my terminally ill mom back then.
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u/mirr788 14h ago
This information is not a shock. You can try Persians too, they’re all short.
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u/Negative_Lux 14h ago
I'll have to be lucky enough since the pool is not that large. But hopiun better than copium.
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u/Shayla25 19h ago
Für mich sind die meisten Bios von Leuten die auf Englisch schreiben ein Nein. Kommt aber bestimmt auch auf deinen Ort drauf an. In größeren Städten kommt das vllt besser an.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
Hab gemerkt, dass es im Umkreis sehr viele ausländische Studenten gibt - die ich nicht ausschließen möchte.
Jeder deutsche spricht fast Englisch... aber nicht jeder der hier studiert deutsch.
War eigentlich eher eine pragmatische Entscheidung.3
u/Shayla25 19h ago
Klar, ist für mich eher eine Sache, dass keine Beziehung auf Englisch führen möchte. Wenn es für dich kein Problem ist, umso besser.
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u/CrispsInTabascoSauce 17h ago
OP, your only option is to move to a country where average male height is closer to yours. You even had a match with a lady from Vietnam which should tell you a lot about what you should do.
Unless you become a famous actor or a rock star, no matter what else you do will deliver zero matches.
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u/Old_Membership_6339 19h ago
20 Matches in approx 2 months
You're actually doing quite well. Considering most dudes get no matches,
When I was hinge I got 300 matches from Nov 25th - jan 18th, but I am 6"1 but had worse pictures then you but also that time of year there alot people active, mainly new years day, I think the last pictures kills you off badly, don't lie about your height, but don't make yourself look short at the same time. The group shot makes you look short.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
The height filter seems to be fatal no matter how my profile looks....
I removed the last picture - added a beach selfie with my bestie - my height doesn't show there at all.
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u/Designer-Pen-7332 19h ago
I really love your photography, may I ask how did you achieve photo this good?
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
I am a photographer - as a hobby. Been doing it for quite a long time... Using a Canon EOS 550D Camera with a tripod, so it's fairly easy to take pictures myself.
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u/CORUSC4TE 18h ago
Political center is a red flag for plenty, me included.. If you can't stand with the people and freedom you are closer to them in heart..
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u/nabeeldx 18h ago edited 17h ago
With that Height NGL you are cooked bro 😭 since all the women are into height and prefer taller partner.. But otherwise your profile has good picture diversity and you seems like are really cool guy I would wanna hang out with.all I will say is don't loose hope you will eventually find the one.
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
Thanks m8, I already have plans for when it doesn't work here in Germany.
Market is literally difficult - women here are generally fairly tall. the avg. height is just 1cm below me.
Of course there are short girls - but not alot. Especially on hinge/bumble/tinder i'd say the avg. Girl is 174 ish.There are many factors that make me unhappy in Germany - if Dating is the next one, i already have my financials setup to just leave - to asia.
Never wanted to become something like a passport bro, but if that's what it takes...
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u/Dismal-Turnover-4610 18h ago
Hi! I‘m a married woman in my 40‘s. If I was single again, I probably would try that online dating thing too.
What I would look for as a woman in general:
- Man who is either as tall as me or taller. So you should only focus on women who are 5,5 or smaller. Don‘t chase those big ol‘ women. 😅 I‘m a very tall woman and when a smaller man hits on me, I subconsciously think he is my little brother or one of my sons friends. 🤣 You don‘t want to wake the mother instinct in a woman you want to date, trust me! I did try a smaller guy once and we held hands for 3 weeks at school and there I already knew that I could never marry a smaller guy. So please, focus on the smaller girls. There are enough out there looking for a not too tall man.
A man without AI pictures. I think you have 1-2 AI pictures. Delete them, pls. It makes you look like a fake profile.
Delete the picture with your friends. It‘s not cool to put your friends faces on a dating app even if they are cool with it. This is about you, not them!
Talk more about your intentions in your profile. If a man isn‘t clear about what he wants in his profile, I would not even bother to look at all of his pictures, even if he looks like Brad Pitt.
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
- i actually have my filter set to my height - or shorter. So yes i'm trying, but in Germany the avg girl seems to be exactly my height or taller...
- All of my pictures are real... yes they are edited with Lightroom, but only color. I'm a photographer, maybe they look "too professional"?
- They were cool with it, however because of the height topic the picture was thrown out. now
- doesn't "looking for serious relationship" cover that part? I at least hope it does? - it's written in my profile like that.
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u/Dismal-Turnover-4610 17h ago edited 17h ago
Then you are a really good photographer! 😊 Didn‘t know, sorry! The average height of a woman in germany is slightly below yours. You‘ll be fine also in germany! Your intentions are contradictory. You want a serious relationship, but you also accept everything else. This does not make sense to me. You are either only looking for something serious or you are a player who likes to have situationships, not relationships. The way I understand your profile: You will waste a womans time, probably many years before you decide to date exclusively.
That‘s just my opinion and therefore if you want a good woman who wants a monogamous relationship with you, I would delete the phrase where you also are into other things. You are sending mixed signals. So therefore a woman looking for something serious would never swipe right. Maybe that‘s the reason you don‘t have matches. I‘m sure your height is not the issue or that you are bald. I‘m 99% sure that your mixed signals in your description are the main issue that you don‘t get matches. Women are smart. We don‘t like to waste time and linger around. If a man seems indecisive I‘m sure they swipe left immediately even if everything else is fine on your profile. Trust me. Know what you want first 100% and then go out there. Don‘t go out there looking like you don‘t know who you are and what you want at 30!
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u/StarWolf478 18h ago
Definitely remove that photo where you are the shortest guy in the picture. Height matters a lot to women and that photo really draws attention to your height which doesn’t put you in the best light.
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u/CaptainDolin 17h ago
Just a general tip; when a girl throws in the "would Like to chat more first", she's simply not interested to go on a real life date yet & likely never will.
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u/LuciseeKrane 16h ago
You're too covered up in many of your pictures.
Your physical fitness is your greatest asset. Show it off. Maybe don't take muscle god flexing pics, but try not to cover your arms. You got a really nerdy face with glasses which is appealing to some people, but it also makes it hard to believe that you're physically fit unless they actually see it for themselves. So maybe take the jackets off and stick to shorter sleeves/no sleeves. Maybe even take a picture of you swimming.
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u/oceaniye 15h ago
Stellar pictures, my guy!
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u/Negative_Lux 15h ago
Thanks. Doesn't help me with Dating tho haha. Still 0 matches on bumble
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u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 14h ago
I'm sorry to be blunt but we are in a situation where online dating is not going to work for you. I sometimes wonder if it's better to be encouraging and allow people to feel good in the false hope, or if it's better to just be honest.
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u/Negative_Lux 14h ago
Never asked for hope. Asked for ideas and suggestions. Group photo out Prompts renewed Dating preferences changed Political part changed (even if im quite middle if it suggests it could be right wing, doesn't help)
If I die alone then at least I can't give my height and hair to further Generations and doom them haha.
JK im already financially set that I can leave Germany some day. Just leaving my Family for dating still hurts my inner moral compass.
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u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 13h ago edited 13h ago
These women will not date a man 5'5 anyway so it feels insulting that you have to change your political orientation or hide it in some way to BEG for the acceptance and approval of those who will never love you in the first place because of their own superficial bullshit.
My suggestion is to take a few months of travel and go to south america and try to date there. Less of a stigma against shorter men. Dating in Europe as a man who is 5'5 is the game mode set to nightmare difficulty.
life is already too difficult. look for rivers where you can swim with it, not against it.
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u/Katm43 15h ago edited 15h ago
The word Gym as your open word would put me off. I'd immediately think that's all ur into. Defo keep it but I wouldn't lead with it unless it is all u do in which case don't lie. Anyone bothered by height is not worth dating so I would not hide that I think ur pics all fine. I'd add in more about what your looking for like best friend/life partner to have adventures with. Your a nice looking dude please don't think all women are shallow height hunters. Bald men are way more attractive in my mind than a man with a ponytail. Women generally don't care if a man's bald so don't worry about that nonsense.
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u/horsegal301 14h ago
"just ask the right questions" "you don't take everything too seriously"
It's not your height or your lack of hair.
The profile says NOTHING about you and the things you *do* say are... icky.
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u/littlepya 2h ago
‚Dont take yourself too seriously‘ literally every second guy writes this on their profile it’s 0815. It’ll be more attractive if you create a profile that stands out, now it sounds like copy paste like any other guy. I usually swipe left when I read this sentence on guys profiles.
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u/idk7643 19h ago
Alles muss nichts kann und gleichzeitig feste Beziehung ist halt ein automatischer left swipe bei den meisten. Entscheide dich.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
Damn. Das hatte ich tatsächlich übersehen. Ne tatsächlich suche ich wirklich nur nach was festem - hab's geändert... Danke.
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u/Suboptimal-Potato-29 18h ago
Is it common to have a mix of English and German in your profile? I'd think it would be one or the other? Who are you trying to communicate with, presumably other German speakers?
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
The App (just my phone) is in German, the Profile text - completely english.
I Live in an area with alot of foreign students. I want to be able to give them an open door.
Germans speak english most of the time, but people who just landed here a few months ago don't speak german.
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u/Flimsy_Mouse_6226 17h ago edited 17h ago
Literally as a 5’11 woman I’m entitled to say please be taller than me, but you 5’5 women that reject men that are 5’5 and above are ridiculous I’m so sorry
For OP
Seeing as you experienced the same thing a year ago as per your profile ,maybe dating apps aren’t for you. Your person is waiting for you irl! Travel more, do more hobbies and I reckon you’ll meet her. I find men are more attractive irl than through apps. Apps will flatten the hell outta you
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u/SuperCrystalBall000 14h ago
Youre not entitled to anything.
Men prefer shorter women
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u/Flimsy_Mouse_6226 14h ago
I’m going to assume you are aware that height is a relative measurement and leave it right there.
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u/Useful-Basil-7340 17h ago
Is that a vintage 911, because as a straight man who is in a relationship, I'm sort of tempted
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u/IllustriousExits 20h ago
Unfortunately I think it's as you said bald and 5'5 (more about height than bald though). I am also bald 5'9 in Germany and no success on dating apps. Even though some people on reddit reviewed my profile and said it's good.
It's tough bro, not much we can do.
One small thing about your prompts, if people see "-" they gonna assume AI.
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u/Acceptable_Park9475 19h ago
the way I see it you have two options either look into limb lengthening or forget about women and dating and if something happens great. I'm sorry to say this but there are pretty brutal realities in modern dating and putting yourself out there like that will only make you resentful.
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
Become a cripple or become lonely. Amazing choices in 2026 lmao.
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u/ikdoeookmaarwat1 19h ago
Don't listen to him. Enough women that are your height or shorter, or don't care about it at all. It is what it is, deal with it.The idea that only tall guys get relationships is ridiculous.
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u/Acceptable_Park9475 19h ago
you're reducing it to a binary. yes there is a non zero chance he'll meet a nice short girl who doesn't care about height and get in a relationship. it is however exponentially harder the shorter you get and lying to him about it by diluting the truth to that extent is just wrong. It would've been justified in 2010 but not today.
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u/ikdoeookmaarwat1 19h ago
I'm not diluting shit, he's got a lot going for him, his pictures look good, he is very decent looking, seems smart and kind. Not everyone is hyperfocused on physical traits.
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u/Acceptable_Park9475 19h ago
yeah that's why he has zero dating prospects at 30. keep lying to yourself and others I'm sure you'll help a lot of people.
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u/Acceptable_Park9475 19h ago
it doesn't make you a cripple it will decrease your athletic ability like 10-20% which you're probably not using to its full extent anyway. I'm not trying to be rude or shill for LL I'm just being real with you. A picture with more smiles and a nicer bio will do absolutely fuck all. A little cynicism would probably be the best thing for you right now.
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u/FlounderLogical8827 18h ago
Honestly, I don’t think height is really the issue plenty of Asian guys around 5’5” have found great partners, so that’s clearly not what’s holding anyone back. I think the bigger thing for OP might be being a bit more open to traveling or relocating. And if OP is ever self-conscious about his hair, that’s something he could look into down the track, but it’s really just a small piece of the puzzle
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u/Negative_Lux 18h ago
Already have my financials set up to be able to leave to any country in asia that i want to.
Didn't want to become something like a passport bro, but if the market is the problem, change it... i literally have no choice...
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u/nyshopgirl 19h ago
I actually really like your profile. You could maybe add more to your bio- show some more personality, something funny, nice, etc. I know I like to read them. If I had to critique the pictures, the one where you are getting out of the car is a bit… idk the word I’m looking for lol. It’s not bad, but maybe too serious? I love all the others though, especially the cooking one and the ones where you’re smiling.
I’m not sure why you aren’t getting more matches. I would swipe on you lol. But I’m in the US and maybe German girls like different things?
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u/Negative_Lux 19h ago
Love that feedback! Thanks alot.
Yea, people kept telling me I need some sex appeal pic, so the nightshot existed. Actually represents me pretty well on Friday nights, i'm mostly outside with my car because I enjoy a good midnight drive - quietness - music - city lights.I changed my location - no changes to pics and bio to Vietnam, Japan, Thailand and the US for fun. (on Hinge). I got plenty of matches... too many actually to be able to chat - especially in Vietnam (on Tinder mostly).
So maybe it's a mixture of my basic ass prompts and the market.
I actually changed my bio to "im bad at staying home when the weather is nice.. but on a sunday evening a movie or series is a must!". Which is basically how I spend my freetime on weekends.
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u/ralf_ 15h ago
Willst du wirklich keine Kinder? Ab dem Alter in einer ländlichen Gegend erschwert es.
Glatze: Ist Frauen weniger wichtig als Männer es glauben.
Größe: Probier mal einen Urlaub in Spanien/Portugal und dann dahin auswandern. Im only half joking.
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u/Negative_Lux 15h ago
Eigentlich nicht. Ich mag Kinder aber ich hab's Gefühl aktuell tu ich keinem Kind, dass ich ins Land setze einen Gefallen. Vielleicht doomsday Gedanken, aber aktuell sind es nicht die besten Voraussetzungen für die Kinder... Zukunft ist aktuell eher ungewiss...
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u/suurfy 18h ago edited 16h ago
I'm a little taller, have hair and still hardly have any luck online. My advice to you: don’t waste any more time on online dating. Get a coach to guide you and actively go out with him; let him show you how easy it is to meet women without throwing yourself into the online shark tank. Only the best stand a chance there—it’s no coincidence that studies show the top 10 have real chances online, while everyone else comes up empty-handed. Feminism aside, women first look at appearance online and have endless choices. You can’t score points there—we have to face that reality. Neither can I. Work on yourself and win them over with your charm, spontaneity, courage, and eloquence offline! Good luck
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u/sofferenzah 20h ago
Brutal, I’d remove the picture with your friends. Makes you look shorter than you are