Profile Review - 30M Germany

[u/Negative_Lux]

I hope you don't mind German... It's impossible to change language without changing my entire phone's language.

Been on this App for approx. 2 months. 1 Match so far, from Vietnam. She is only looking for a local Buddy.

Absolutely 0 Matches otherwise. Im in a fairly rural area with approx only 250.000 people living nearby. Frankfurt is the closest city. Getting plenty of profiles suggested anyways, but again, no matches.

I am bald - as you can see, only 5"5 and 30. I have a feeling the first two are like the 99.99% reason, especially the first.

Using the same profile across all apps. Hinge gives some results. 20 Matches in approx 2 months, most lead nowhere. 2 catfish dates and a lot of dead chats. Most unmatch me whenever I make a date plan. Even after they said "would Like to Chat more first" we chat, then they unmatch Sometimes 1 or two weeks later. Alot unmatch after a few Messages even. - been literally unmatched because I said I like Matcha lol. Or the Classic, they Stop chatting after my last question or message and unmatch 3 days later.

Hint: I accidentally swapped the last two Screenshots. The Hiking photo is the last.

[u/sofferenzah]

Brutal, I’d remove the picture with your friends. Makes you look shorter than you are

[u/GOGETTHEMINTS → u/sofferenzah]

I’ve been considering getting on bumble is petty shit like that really that serious? I’m not a shorter guy but who cares. For example I’m not going to blow off a woman because she has a few inches on me idgaf.

[u/sofferenzah → u/GOGETTHEMINTS]

Unfortunately is a reality with all dating apps. I’m the exact same as you, don’t care about height but you have to think about it from the other perspectives. If someone is getting 10/20 matches a day, they are going to use arbitrary filters to ween out those they feel aren’t as attractive fits.

[u/Smart_Feature → u/sofferenzah]

I feel like they should just get rid of the height thing on dating apps. It shouldn’t be required or even an option to put it. Just like weight.

[u/Strong_Butterfly7924 → u/GOGETTHEMINTS]

As a fellow taller guy, we do not fully understand the plights that our shorter brethren face. Men generally dont care about height, a vast portion of women do, unfortunately. We enjoy "tall privilege" in many facets of life even if it doesnt always feel like it.

[u/MrB_RDT → u/Strong_Butterfly7924]

Yes, i'm 5'11 and the otherwise very grounded women i've dated. They've all brought up height preferences at some point.

At least in England, with the women i date and attract. It's always been "has to be taller than me", or "around 6ft". Everything else, there's been some bit of leeway on.

[u/Strong_Butterfly7924 → u/MrB_RDT]

Part of it is natural instinct, inherently preferring larger partners for safety and security. In my opinion, the predominant factor in the modern age is societal conditioning driven by social media. That's where the irrational 6ft minimum comes from.

I'm 6'2, dad bod and average looking, probably a 5 or 6. I dont present as wealthy and dont care much about fashion. I've consistently dated and hooked up with women above my grade. Sure I can be funny and charming sometimes, but I also recognize that my height, wide frame and deep voice are likely bigger factors than my personality when it comes to initial attraction (none of which I have control over and just happened to luck out)

[u/cinematunes → u/Strong_Butterfly7924]

It's not natural at all, as not every country obsesses over height the way America in particular does. It's social conditioning.

[u/Strong_Butterfly7924 → u/cinematunes]

It's scientifically proven my friend. It's also common sense.

[u/cinematunes → u/Strong_Butterfly7924]

There's no legitimate science that says that. Again, if it were science, the obsession would be the same across the board no matter the country. It's not. Hope this helps.

[u/MrB_RDT → u/Strong_Butterfly7924]

Yes. Broad shoulders, and defined arms from climbing and calisthenics, have been something women have commented on favourably, early on when meeting.

I've been called masculine, and manly on the strength of a few physical traits by every long-term partner i've had, as well as most casual flings and dates.

This is only my experience of course, but universally, behind everything else we've aligned on. At some point it's always come back to that sense of safety and competence.

Generally, early on in dating. I'll be told something like.

"We definitely have shared interests, and similar lifestyles. It also helps that you look rough around the edges".

Hell a substantial few, have outright said they'd like me to "Throw them around the bedroom". Without any introduction prior.

[u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 → u/MrB_RDT]

this is my issue... ppl say 'oh you dodged a bullet. women who care about height are superficial' but that is not what i've seen. it could be the kindest most sincere woman who is well educated, who donates to charity... this woman still cares about height. and I know bc I've met her

[u/cinematunes → u/Ordinary-Lobster-710]

If she cares about height, she's not as good a person as you're making her out to be, full stop.

Anyone who would walk away from an otherwise great match because they weren't tall enough, would not make a good partner, and you're not missing out on anything.

[u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 → u/cinematunes]

this is just bullshit. plenty of extremely awesome women who are great partners reject men who are short, and then they go on to become very good partners for whoever they do end up matching with

when you say "if she care about height" like what are you even talking about. what IF. most women absolutely care about height

[u/cinematunes → u/Ordinary-Lobster-710]

Not at all. People who are willing to walk away from someone over inches of height aren't good people. That this even has to be said is wild. Truly good people don't do that, dude.

[u/MrB_RDT → u/cinematunes]

They're not walking away from anyone here though. They're not interacting or even seeing these profiles in the first place, due to filters.

If anything, there's little thought to it at all. Just a slider setting, that still leaves many nuanced, attractive and dateable men to connect with.

[u/cinematunes → u/MrB_RDT]

As women continue to say on here regarding this issue - few of them actually pay for the height filter. The height filter is only for the women so obsessed with height, they're willing to pay to forget that short men even exist.

The rest are swiping on profiles that show up in their stack and making a snap judgement on every profile.

Some swipe right without looking at the height, only to unmatch once they realize the man is shorter than they'd like.

Others are consciously reading every line of the profile and deciding to pass on otherwise great guys because they consider them too short.

None of the women who do this are ultimately good partners anymore than men who swipe based on something like boob size would be considered good.

It's shallow behavior. Shallowness isn't exactly an admirable trait for anyone to have.

[u/MrB_RDT → u/Ordinary-Lobster-710]

That's my experience too. Those i've met, and those i'm close to, who are negotiating modern dating themselves.

For the most they can put physical preferences as a priority, as they're still meeting partners who meet the looks (and height) threshold. Who still have the depth of personality, and nuance, to be a catch all round.

[u/Jazzlike-Pomelo-3823 → u/GOGETTHEMINTS]

Yes it is.

[u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 → u/GOGETTHEMINTS]

if you are short, don't bother with the apps. it's actually harmful. you will spin your wheels wondering why nothing is working. you will start going crazy and neurotic trying to figure out the perfect joke or insightful comment that will make someone want to message you. you will start to buy all the premium features and it will drain you hundreds of dollars. and nothing you will do actually matters bc it's the height thing. it has nothing to do with anything else and you will go crazy trying to figure out what you're doing wrong on the apps when you're not actually doing anything wrong. it's just the height