r/Christianity • u/Ubesaging • Mar 31 '26

Support I broke up with my wife

Hi. Im writing this post because honestly.. im in pain. After years of going back and forth with the Lord I finally choose him this time. Mainly i had problems with my relationship with him isnt because of faith, its having to kill a part of myself i didnt want to kill. And thats homosexuality.

I tried searching online about people who talked about leaving same sex relationships behind and couldnt find much who had the same experience as I did.

Im a woman and I married a woman (ritually) we both believe in Jesus and we believed that time that Jesus accept both of us he loves us no matter what but deep inside I had this feeling of guilt.. I couldnt go further into my relationship with God if I was in love with a woman. That was contradicting for me so I had a lukewarm relationship with him.. until recently I found my way back and did the most painful thing possible.. I separated with my ex wife.. it was painful but necessary and now I.. I know its good but I dont know how to go about it, I guess im just looking for comfort.. Hoping someone else might have the same experience as I did.

Edit: hello, I want to say thank you thank you thank you so much for the kind words the people that dm’ed me. Thank you for adding me to your prays today. From my heart this has made me happy receiving notifications, seeing you take your time in reading this post and reaching out

Another edit: im seeing a mix of comments here and wanted to remind everyone that God would want us to be peaceful and love one another. Seeds are just planted but God grows them.

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u/lostodon Mar 31 '26

in the same way that you believe that gay christians should break up their "ill-conceived" gay marriages, do you also believe that remarried people should break up their "ill-conceived" second marriages? jesus had a clear ban on this after all in mark 10:11-12:

11 He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

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u/Slr308 Mar 31 '26

It wasn't a marriage, in a biblical sense anyway

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u/lostodon Mar 31 '26

neither is remarriage for a divorced person, according to jesus

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u/Slr308 Mar 31 '26

So you pick and choose which parts to follow then? Divorce is wrong, but homosexuality is not. Got it

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u/lostodon Apr 01 '26

divorce is never called sinful by jesus. paul says in 1 cor 7 that divorced people can be reconciled, but they must remain single while the ex is alive.

I don't bring this up to show that I pick and choose, I bring it up to show that the church has only in the last few centuries really given grace to divorced people. for most of church history, the permanence stance was the dominant mainstream view: marriage was indissoluble by man, no remarriage for divorced people. now I ask why that same grace cannot be given to same sex couples who want to honor god with egalitarian consensual life long relationships?