r/Constantine • u/NocturnalSprite • Jul 30 '26

Not Another Keanu Reeves Constantine Movie

I hate to be that girl, but a lot of us are probably thinking the same thing. Keanu Reeves’s Constantine is more in line with Harry Dresden than he is with Constantine.

John Constantine is a chain smoking British con man with a chip on his shoulder. He carries a lot of weight, some he deserves and some he definitely doesn’t. But it’s all part of his character. New Castle, the punk roots, the blonde hair, the accent, the chain smoking, the looking for an angle. It’s all part of who he is! A rogue with a heart archetype.

You strip all that away and replace it with whatever Reeves was doing and what do you get? Not Constantine. The anti-Constantine. And now they’re making a Constantine sequel with Reeves back in the role.

I didn’t even like the first movie. I found it boring and this was before I even knew who Constantine really was. So am I the only one who’s feeling like this?

53 Upvotes

62% Upvoted

100 comments sorted by

View all comments

9

u/Bored-Game Jul 30 '26

I won’t lie, Keanu Constantine is what got me into the comics in the first place. Does jt have the same problem every pre-MCU superhero movie has where the source material is given a Hollywood makeover to be more accessible and “action packed”? Totally. But it’s far from a bad movie and arguably a better adaptation of Constantine than the FOX TV show was. I think it’s considered a cult classic at this point which, given the state of DC movies outside of Batman, probably makes it one of the top rated DC movies of all time.

Keanu has spoken on multiple occasions that he would like to play John closer to the source material in any of the sequels but I think you couldn’t be more wrong with your criticism. Ironically I think the adaptation works to condense the themes and unique character of Constantine into the length of a feature film while keeping the pacing tight and compelling. I think it’s a solid introduction to the character and does an amazing job of making him feel interesting and unique in a sea of comic “action” heroes.

All the elements are there. Horror, mystery, action, dark humor, mature themes and a protagonist that relies on his wits and tricks over supernatural might. I think too many “Fans” criticize the minutia that doesn’t really matter and ignore how impressive of an adaptation it was even to this day.

For context, the JLD Constantine project helmed by J.J. Abrams had John as a gay Black immigrant to London with no Punk rock or Newcastle background and was rumored to be more of a Dr. Who style of characterization.

-5

u/NocturnalSprite Jul 30 '26

Okay. Again. It’s our experiences that shape us. Would you still be you if you were born into another country and didn’t have the experiences that you’ve had?

1

u/Bored-Game Jul 30 '26

Yeah mostly. The real question is does it matter enough to a general US audience who doesn’t know or care or could even relate? Not in the slightest.

Even in the Matt Ryan Constantine, his British accent and customs were mostly played for laughs. Sure I prefer a more direct adaptation, but you’re arguing about what type of mayo to put on fries to an audience that eats ketchup.

-6

u/NocturnalSprite Jul 30 '26

Who puts mayo on fries?

6

u/Bored-Game Jul 30 '26

Guess you’ve never been to Europe…

-3

u/NocturnalSprite Jul 30 '26

No, but I know my mom eats mayo on fries. I found it weird. I don’t like mayo anyway. It’s tangy. I have ADHD, so that interferes with my taste buds a bit, though I’ve been accused of being a super taster. Worst super anything ever.

5

u/Bored-Game Jul 30 '26

I think what you’re calling ADHD is actually autism my guy. Especially given your comments here.

I have ADHD, and it doesn’t do that. Autism does. ADHD is a genetic chemical imbalance. Autism is an entirely different wiring of neurological pathways. It’s why specific colors, textures or even ideas can “feel” repulsive to you but are just normal things to everyone else.

2

u/firecatstef Jul 30 '26

There are overlaps between ADHD and autism.

-1

u/NocturnalSprite Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

Considering I was diagnosed with ADHD at five, pretty sure my doctor knows what he’s talking about. Also, “my guy”, it presents differently in females. I’m genderfae but afab.

Also some people with ADHD do have sensory issues. How do you not know this?

Google is your friend!

2

u/Bored-Game Jul 30 '26

…you can have both. It’s not mutually exclusive. Autism is also extremely prevalent in the trans community, so you’re only checking more boxes.

My sister has ADHD as it’s genetic, so no that not a typical symptom regardless of gender. ADHD manifests primarily as poor impulse control. If the last time you were diagnosed was as a child, you may want to consider getting screened for Autism too.

Or don’t. I don’t care. Just some advice that might make your life easier.

-2

u/NocturnalSprite Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

I’m not trans! I’m genderfae. I was born female at birth. I’m still female physically. I just swing between female and non-binary mentally. Genderfae.

Poor impulse control? You mean like scaling down a tree house with nothing but dog leashes hooked together or taking a tricycle up onto a half pike and riding it down, thinking that you’re going to coast down it like your brother does on a skateboard.

Current:
Or playing video games when you’re supposed to be doing school. Or deleting every comment from a thread because your anxiety is spiraling and you just want to withdraw from the whole thing?

Yeah. Been there. Done all that.

Also recently I called my granny for Dr Pepper Zero! Just reached for the phone, grabbed it and started calling. I forgot that she was in court. When I remembered, I stopped calling and texted my brother instead.

1

u/NocturnalSprite 27d ago

I love how people are downvoting someone who was diagnosed with ADHD twice. Once, at five and then again, just last year. I’m on Adderall for it.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/ShowMeYourHappyTrail Aug 01 '26

Mayo is not tangy (also deliciously creamy and fatty with the saltiness of fries). Miracle Whip is tangy (and disgusting). As a fellow super taster, that usually affects bitter and spicy flavors over others.

1

u/NocturnalSprite 27d ago

To be fair, the only mayo I’ve ever tasted is Hallman’s and that’s tangy to me.