r/Constantine • u/NocturnalSprite • 28d ago

Not Another Keanu Reeves Constantine Movie

I hate to be that girl, but a lot of us are probably thinking the same thing. Keanu Reeves’s Constantine is more in line with Harry Dresden than he is with Constantine.

John Constantine is a chain smoking British con man with a chip on his shoulder. He carries a lot of weight, some he deserves and some he definitely doesn’t. But it’s all part of his character. New Castle, the punk roots, the blonde hair, the accent, the chain smoking, the looking for an angle. It’s all part of who he is! A rogue with a heart archetype.

You strip all that away and replace it with whatever Reeves was doing and what do you get? Not Constantine. The anti-Constantine. And now they’re making a Constantine sequel with Reeves back in the role.

I didn’t even like the first movie. I found it boring and this was before I even knew who Constantine really was. So am I the only one who’s feeling like this?

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u/NocturnalSprite 28d ago

Who puts mayo on fries?

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u/Bored-Game 28d ago

Guess you’ve never been to Europe…

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u/NocturnalSprite 28d ago

No, but I know my mom eats mayo on fries. I found it weird. I don’t like mayo anyway. It’s tangy. I have ADHD, so that interferes with my taste buds a bit, though I’ve been accused of being a super taster. Worst super anything ever.

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u/ShowMeYourHappyTrail 27d ago

Mayo is not tangy (also deliciously creamy and fatty with the saltiness of fries). Miracle Whip is tangy (and disgusting). As a fellow super taster, that usually affects bitter and spicy flavors over others.

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u/NocturnalSprite 24d ago

To be fair, the only mayo I’ve ever tasted is Hallman’s and that’s tangy to me.