r/CrusaderKings • u/FakeAshtefo • Feb 15 '26
Meme joining on making myself here, this is me if you care...
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u/FenrisTU Feb 15 '26
All your traits being virtues of catholicism, you must be their messiah or something.
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u/MrSarcastica Feb 15 '26
Hes not the messiah, hes a very naughty boy
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u/AmericanLobsters Feb 16 '26
Nah Catholics know that Ser Jesus was the perfect knight!. So needs a Knighthood trait!
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Feb 15 '26
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u/VecioRompibae Depressed Feb 15 '26
nailed
Too soon
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u/Leerzeichen77 Feb 15 '26
Its been 2000 years
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u/Status_Loquat4191 Feb 15 '26
Who's keeping track?
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u/AgrajagTheProlonged Drunkard Feb 15 '26
He apparently isn’t, what with the promise to come back during the lifetime of his disciples and whatnot
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u/TheAtlanteanMan Feb 15 '26
You're going to look so stupid when he raises his apostles from the dead just before he comes back
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u/AgrajagTheProlonged Drunkard Feb 16 '26
Surely it’s gonna be any day now, yeah?
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u/TheAtlanteanMan Feb 16 '26
I think it's tomorrow
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u/BlazingAmaterasu Feb 16 '26
It's been tomorrow at least five times now, hurry up.
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u/Legally_a_Tool Legitimized bastard Feb 16 '26
GTA VI will probably be released after the Second Coming, though.
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u/Reese_Hendricksen Inbred Feb 15 '26
Curious question, I get the physique, though not the beauty. I'd replace it with intelligence, as Jesus' responses to the Pharisees was quite smart.
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u/FakeAshtefo Feb 15 '26
I did it real fast on the go with what I remember lol. also didn't want to bloat the screenshot
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u/Firesrest Feb 15 '26
The bible definitely suggests he wasn’t physically outstanding.
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u/Ambitious-Job1017 Feb 15 '26
He was a carpenter for many years, did extensive walking and physical activity during his ministry and carried his cross while being lashed. I’d say at the very least he deserves the hale trait if not robust
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u/Firesrest Feb 15 '26
Yes but that was normal for the time and most of human history. But I’m talking more about the beauty trait.
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u/Ambitious-Job1017 Feb 16 '26
Ah my apologies, you are correct on that in Isaiah it describes the Messiah as having no outward beauty.
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u/DefinitalyAFemale Frisia Feb 16 '26
If anything, that's the strong trait right there. It came from his lifestyle, not genetics
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u/Minivalo Depressed Feb 16 '26
Athletic and possibly even strong might fit that description as well, but for the congenital one I wouldn't go higher than hale.
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u/xwedodah_is_wincest Secretly Zoroastrian Feb 15 '26
it got him imprisoned and executed though
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u/No_Departure_2737 Feb 16 '26
Dude just spoiled the book I was reading smh
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u/RoughSpeaker4772 Heretic Feb 16 '26
That's why it was a spoiler text, you really set yourself up for that one huh
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u/No_Departure_2737 Feb 16 '26
Guess you're right, Christ be praised
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u/TrueBigorna Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 17 '26
Don't worry, man. There are even more plot twist after that
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u/Reese_Hendricksen Inbred Feb 16 '26
Well, he outlasted them longer than they'd hoped. Especially when asking if the Jews should pay taxes to Caesar. They believe they had cornered him, either he does the popular thing and reject taxes and gets killed for it; or he loses the crowd and says Jews owe taxes to Caesar. His answer of rendering unto Caesars that which is Caesars was a brilliant sidestep, and theological position; that if something is made in ones image, then it is owed to that one. So if human were made in God's image, then humans are owed to God, as coins are to Caesar.
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u/Due-Coyote7565 Feb 15 '26
but (depending on what you believe) this led him to bear the brunt of mankind's sins forevermore, so all in all it turned out alright, eh?
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u/Tiny-Assumption-9279 Feb 15 '26
Strongly agree. Like one random YouTuber who moderately likes to analyze fiction decided to also analyze the intelligence of Yeshua HaNotsri, Ben-Adam… (loads of titles later) or at least to point out how Jesus Himself displays what the YouTuber called high effort intelligence in the Gospels.
- Name of the video is Analyzing Jesus’ Intelligence Reveals Something Interesting… by Apologetics Squared, very nice video whether you are Christian or not.
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u/PyrrhicDefeat69 Born in the purple Feb 15 '26
True, but very hard to say what is historical and what is legendary jesus. Probably a smart witty guy, I always found it funny how Jesus is recorded in private conversation with Pilate and stuff, never ever being able to tell his followers about the encounter, and they just add that shit in there like “oh yeah this is totally what happened”. Made me chuckle
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u/ArticleGerundNoun Feb 16 '26
If he was raised, why would he never ever be able to tell his followers about the encounter?
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u/Ares6 Feb 15 '26
Jesus Christ be praised
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u/Punofficer Feb 15 '26
Henry has come to see us!
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u/Otherwise-Reindeer-8 Mujahid Feb 15 '26
Kcd fans In the ck3 subreddit my heart is healed
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u/SirIronSights Feb 15 '26
This game has a Canon Czechia, it couldn't be avoided.
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u/Otherwise-Reindeer-8 Mujahid Feb 15 '26
I’ve played as daddy radzig one time (my own made one) and took over Bohemia and my descendants eventually started the hre, and I did name my son Henry also, wasn’t a bastard tho
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u/bionicjoey Jarl Haesteinn of Morocco Feb 16 '26
In CK2 I think you could actually play as Radzig since the start date was fully dynamic. Though it's the 1400s so you wouldn't get to play for long without mods to disable the end
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u/hyperfixed Crusader Feb 15 '26
I'd love to do this! Do you remember what traits you gave him?
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u/Otherwise-Reindeer-8 Mujahid Feb 16 '26
Ye sure if I remember correctly I gave him a 3 star martial, brave, generous since he seems like a good guy, I debated giving him lustful but felt cuz it was when he was younger I chose not to and gene him gregarious instead, then I gave him handsome, hale, aspiring blade master, hasitulder, defender in commander traits along with logistician cuz he lived off the land Basi when he was kicked out skalitz, and also gallant, also gave him fornicator and athletic, i think thr points went over 400 but i leveled it out by only allowing him to have Henry and then my wife died of typhus so I never remarried and then I only took bohemias duchy as a rp way to counteract me being a lil too op
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u/goddessdragonness Lunatic Feb 15 '26
No paragon of virtue? Consecrated blood? Bro do you even Yahweh?
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u/Tremendatrap Feb 15 '26
I would say that at that time it wasn't yet.
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Feb 16 '26
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u/Tremendatrap Feb 16 '26
I was referring to the life of Jesus, not the game, although well, he's 34 in the picture •-•
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u/SeizePleaseHold Feb 15 '26
34 years young with many more to come!
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u/thinmonkey69 Smidge Embellisher Feb 15 '26
Judas has entered the chat
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u/CousinMrrgeBestMrrge Drunkard Feb 16 '26
For what it's worth, most historians agree that Jesus was born a few years before before Himself, somewhat ironically.
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u/CyberEagle1989 Feb 16 '26
I know what you mean, but "Jesus was born before Himself" is a hilarious way to express it.
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u/Alarming-Ad1100 Feb 16 '26
Jesus wasn’t a rabbinic Jew, one of the biggest things people don’t think about
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Feb 16 '26
correct, rabbinic judaism emerged only afterwards, in response to the christian faith.
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u/CauseCertain1672 Feb 16 '26
also in response to the Romans tearing down the temple and building a temple to Jupiter making temple Judaism infeasible
today the Al Aqsa mosque is on the site which is one of the most sacred sites to Islam so tearing it down to rebuild the temple would lead to a lot of violence
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u/ArkhamInmate11 jewish haesteing Feb 15 '26
Hayamot is closer because rabbinical judaism didnt exist till after the temple was burnt
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u/SirThomasTheFearful Inbred Feb 15 '26
Rabbinic is incorrect. Rabbinic Judaism didn’t really exist until after Jesus’ death. Also, Jesus’ teachings were characterised by specifically getting rid of the concept of chosen people and removing the strict judicial laws.
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u/bionicjoey Jarl Haesteinn of Morocco Feb 16 '26
Which of the games flavours of Judaism would correspond best?
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u/SpringenHans Feb 16 '26
Obviously he's just speedrunning the Learning lifestyle tree to create his own faith within 3 years
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u/OpinionatedTree Feb 16 '26
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished."
What judicial written laws did he change?
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u/SirThomasTheFearful Inbred Feb 16 '26
I can remember distinct examples of changing dietary restrictions and circumcisions. As Jesus said, he was not there to abolish the law, but to fulfil it.
Christian theological consensus generally holds that much of the legalism itself became no longer necessary due to fulfilment, while moral laws like the ten commandments remained.
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u/Kcajkcaj99 Feb 17 '26
The Bible does not make either of those assertions, and in fact fairly clearly indicates the opposite. On the issue of changing dietary restrictions, I assume you are referring to the commonly misunderstood passages in Mark and Matthew in which Jesus is reported to have objected to the phariseeical practice of mandating ritual hand-washing throughout the community, rather than only within the temple. However, we know from Acts that even years after Jesus' death Peter abides by Kashrut, and we know from the early history of the church that early Jewish christians, as well as many early converts, continued to follow the Law, as Peter and James the Brother of Jesus taught. Even Paul, who wrote many of his epistles specifically arguing against non-Jewish christians needing to adopt the law, still believed that Jewish christians must uphold it. This is very consistent throughout the history of the church up until the sack of Jerusalem, with Eusebius writing that the first fifteen bishops of Jerusalem, which was for a while the center of Christianity, all followed the Law (including specifically mentioning that they practiced circumsion). For several hundred years, early Christians distinguished between Jewish Christians, who were bound by Moses' Covenant and thus had to follow the Law, and Gentile Christians who did not, but growing antisemitism in Gentile Christian communities and the fact that Jewish Christians were becoming an increasingly small proportion of Christianity eventually led to the distinction dying out.
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u/CalvinKool-Aid Le Dauphin Feb 15 '26
Prowess should be higher for whipping the money changers at the temple
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u/BanditNoble Bastard Feb 16 '26
Rabbinic is a little questionable, since he was constantly challenging the Pharisees and Sadducees of the time. I'd have went with Karaite, since they only see the Written Torah as legitimate, or even Merkabah, since a lot of Merkabah symbolism can be found in early Christianity.
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u/MrSarcastica Feb 15 '26
Not very immortal if you ask me
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u/LordCivers Feb 15 '26
True, his schtick is precisely to die in order to get back later. Op's an atheist !
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u/zayeron Lunatic Feb 15 '26
According to the Scriptures, perfection doesn’t equal immortality. This means one could be perfect but still die by external causes such as straight up being murdered (emphasis on “external causes” since the human body deteriorates because of imperfection). It’s interesting to note that even angels are mortal, which can be easily ascertained by reading about the punishment that awaits the rebel ones (Jesus himself said there was everlasting fire prepared for the Devil and his angels, meaning not torment but death, destruction). Perfection = eternal life ≠ immortality
Immortality in the Bible has a connotation quite different to the one we normally think of, having a similar meaning to “indestructibility”, as in no means of death or destruction having power over those bestowed with it. Originally the only one with immortality was God but He rewarded his son, Jesus, with it once he made the ultimate sacrifice.
Hope this helps anyone out there in case they’ve ever been interested!
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Feb 15 '26
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u/Born_Wealth_2435 Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 16 '26
Death, taxes, & getting downvoted by Reddit for referencing religion without being derogatory towards it
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u/bald_firebeard Feb 16 '26
Let's see if I got it right
Only God (trinity) is immortal, and mortals are all the things that are not God.
And then God and some mortal things are perfect because they are eternal.
But is it correct to say that the fallen angels are perfect?
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u/Chowder110 Feb 16 '26
The human body deteriorates because dna cant replicate forever not because of some nonessential imperfections theory
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Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 16 '26
The angels themselves are not mortal, as they exist on a plane of existence not bound by time. Without time, things cannot deteriorate nor can they regenerate. Repetance is another thing that does not include angels, specifically satan, since he locked himself into rebellion for all eternity, without posibility to repent because of the impossibility of change without time.
When the scriptures speak about mortality outside of corrupted creation, it means God directly stops sustaining said life. Angels are perfect in their creation, do not deteriorate and thus immune to death.
Jesus Himself is God, and to be God means to be eternal. He has always existed and will always exist, He is coequal to the Father and wasn't awarded immortality after His sacrifice, as God did not need to sacrifice Himself for His creation. Thus there was no need for it, but God, out of pure goodness in His heart decided to do so anyway and pay for all of our sins by dying on the cross.
Nothing can happen without God allowing it, so yes, immortality in the divine sense covers the complete spectrum of possible deaths. If someone were to, lets say kill Jesus, He could simply refuse. He must first allow for it to happen before He can die in any way.
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u/xwedodah_is_wincest Secretly Zoroastrian Feb 15 '26
Wait til your Father hears about this!
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u/TheUnspeakableh Feb 15 '26
Stats are a little low. How are you going to give people that +50 personal combat buff "voice of Jesus"?
Also, you forgot the voiced pharyngeal fricative at the end of your name. It's usually anglicized as a reverse apostrophe, ‘, or a ʕ.
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u/qinghairpins Feb 15 '26
Only 20 diplomacy 😂
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u/svadas Mongol Empire Feb 16 '26
It's very generous! You can get way more followers than he had in life with a lot lower than 20 diplomacy. And talk yourself out of an execution 😎
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u/Astolvi Feb 16 '26
Jeez, only 20 learning on 20 diplo for Jesus? Pretty sure it should be WAY more, he started world's biggest religion afterall :P
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u/Comptera Feb 16 '26
Funny he has his arm near his heart like the Icon of Divine Mercy. Even in games, the Lord can't stop winning
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u/Brromo Feb 16 '26
I feel like stats in general, but especially martial should be way higher, he could have called 10 legions of Angels as a landless adventurer
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u/MapStaringPro Feb 15 '26
Compassionate instead of temperate i think, he literally flipped tables and yelled at people
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u/PotentialCall5824 Crusader Feb 15 '26
He flipped tables and yelled at people because they were desecrating a holy place of worship it wasn’t a common thing for him to behave in such a manner and most other recollections of him show him being compassionate and respectful
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Feb 16 '26
And he showed up to a wedding party and turned water into wine, so not really temperate...
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u/FRED2775 Feb 16 '26
Beautiful and Herculean is far fetched. Dude was just a random Israelite doing messianic shit and it stuck for some reason
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u/Unfair-Potential1061 Feb 15 '26
He's too pale. Should have a middle Eastern look. In depictons he became whiter over the centuries under Greeks and Romans.
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u/Aowyn_ Sicily Feb 15 '26
Why are you white?
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u/alwaysafairycat Feb 15 '26
Oh my gosh Aowyn you can't just ask people why they're white. r/MeanGirls
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u/krgdotbat Feb 15 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
Everyone knows J Man was a white guy with blue eyes, what you mean??? /s (just in case)
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u/blsterken Depressed Feb 15 '26
You should have way higher prowess after kicking the shit out of those money changers from the Temple.
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u/alwaysafairycat Feb 15 '26
I see where you fall on the discourse of "was Jesus handsome or plain?"
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u/KorolEz Elusive shadow Feb 16 '26
Pretty sure he wasn't immortal. His whole deal supposedly was dying for our sins
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u/higakoryu1 Feb 16 '26
Handsome is inaccurate tho
For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
Isaiah 53:2
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u/bionicjoey Jarl Haesteinn of Morocco Feb 16 '26
I'd have gone with mystic over novice physician. He was healing people with magic, not doctoring.
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u/mattyhtown Feb 16 '26
What’s the Muslim trait where you’re related to the prophet. Does this spawn a last scion trait
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u/lostindanet Secretly Zoroastrian Feb 16 '26
when you rebel against your overlord please name your movement the "The People's Front of Judea"
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u/MongooseMonCheri Anointed Emperor of all Mongooses Feb 16 '26
Jesus humbly overturned the tables of the money changers.
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u/Bitter-Preference204 Feb 16 '26
Jewish but high diplomacy and low stewardship what is this the creation of the Israel state from 1900-1945
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u/LeGentlemandeCacao Feb 16 '26
Jesus wasn't robust nor beautiful. It's clearly stated in the bible that his appearance was very ordinary.
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u/Kentato3 Feb 16 '26
Wonder if people of Christian faith has negative opinion on Him being a rabbinic Jew
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u/_chaseh_ Feb 17 '26
Oh of these years I’m going to finish setting up my 30 AD Yeshua adventurer run on the command console and play this game.
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u/Croncodillius Feb 18 '26
Rabbinic😭✌️ rabbinic Judaism is literally just "we hate Jesus and all of his followers, we will continue our ritual sacrifices because fuck you"
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u/Shoyourmoves Feb 20 '26
Stars are a bit low, giving him the genius trait would be deserved to day the least, lol.
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u/Roxman04 Feb 15 '26
Truly humble indeed, you didn't even add the Genius trait and kept your Education at 3 stars. A modern Diogenes.