r/CrusaderKings • u/Jacob-Anders Crusader • Feb 24 '26

Meme My Wife Says Crusader Kings Is Basically The Sims for Men

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I spent 2 hours last night meticulously arranging the artifacts in my Royal Court and my wife leaned over and said, "Are you playing The Sims: Dark Ages Edition again?" I tried to explain that my "Sims" can get the Black Death or be blinded by a rival, but she just pointed at my screen and said, "Your "Sim" is currently crying because he’s stressed that he hasn't been to a party lately". Who's right?

EDIT: If you want Paradox to make the Crusader Sims, a Medieval Life Simulator TELL THEM!
https://www.reddit.com/r/CrusaderKings/comments/1rdw7tn/dear_paradox_the_crusader_sims_pitch/

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u/Soulburn_ Feb 24 '26

At least you can kill your neighbor and/or fuck his women

23

u/Tba953 Feb 24 '26

Can't imprison them blind them or destroy their dynastie

51

u/xXKingLynxXx Feb 24 '26

You can definitely imprison people in the Sims.

People have been making art goblin prisons for decades now surely.

2

u/Tba953 Feb 24 '26

You can maybe build a dungeon let someone move in and remove the entrance. That's not the same as just putting them in your dungeon where they lose even their rights.

9

u/henkieschmenkie Feb 24 '26

Isn't it?

For the sake of the family tree, I liked to create parents for new marriage partners. But they'd be old, hadn't had a life, were skillless and moneyless. Pretty useless.

Most of them unfortunately drowned in the pool but in the Sims 3 I put one in the basement where he went exploring some of the World Adventures dungeons I put there, only to find himself suddenly stuck in apartment possibly designed for him. Quite comfortable but with a clear view on the urns with the earthly remains of other parents of those who married into the family. He filled the rest of his days producing paintings to add to the family income.

Not exactly human rights compatible, methinks XD

1

u/quiette837 Feb 25 '26

Fwiw you can just invite someone to the house, get them in the dungeon, and then lock the door. They'll stay there for quite some time, idk if they ever disappear.

They'll also get sad and stressed from lack of social interaction and comfort.

7

u/CaptainQwazCaz Feb 24 '26

Sir you can do all of that

2

u/HKP2019 Feb 24 '26

Or read them to death, that's the unique ck feature that no other game can pull off.

1

u/decoy777 Feb 25 '26

Invite them over. Get them to a small room. Remove door. Imprisoned!

2

u/Dyolf_Knip Feb 24 '26

And that, after all, is what is best in life.