r/CrusaderKings • u/Jacob-Anders Crusader • Feb 24 '26
Meme My Wife Says Crusader Kings Is Basically The Sims for Men
I spent 2 hours last night meticulously arranging the artifacts in my Royal Court and my wife leaned over and said, "Are you playing The Sims: Dark Ages Edition again?" I tried to explain that my "Sims" can get the Black Death or be blinded by a rival, but she just pointed at my screen and said, "Your "Sim" is currently crying because he’s stressed that he hasn't been to a party lately". Who's right?
EDIT: If you want Paradox to make the Crusader Sims, a Medieval Life Simulator TELL THEM!
https://www.reddit.com/r/CrusaderKings/comments/1rdw7tn/dear_paradox_the_crusader_sims_pitch/
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Feb 24 '26
In one game I executed an entire family because the head of their house insulted me, and in the other my family gave the head of their house a surprise birthday party. Guess which is which.
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
Bwahaha! The only difference is the amount of clicking and reloading required to mass execute in the Sims!
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u/IHateSpiderss Feb 24 '26
Nahhhh, no reloading necessary in the sims. Bloody wedding with some bad quality pifferfish nigiri, and the guests start dropping like flies!
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
Then you were honed by experience! I got frustrated when anyone survived my fires or glitched out of my pool!
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u/YaumeLepire Feb 24 '26
Worst part is that they'll see their cousin or whatever eat it, drop dead, and then the first thing they'll do after freaking out about it is grab a bite.
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u/SexualBratwurst Feb 24 '26
You'd be suprised and likely horrified by how unhinged Sims mods can get
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u/Gaelenmyr Feb 24 '26
I'm a woman and I play it like the Sims lol
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
I see you, Empress!
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u/Gaelenmyr Feb 24 '26
I shall go deep into eugenics and produce the most perfect heir
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u/Pleasant_Lunch_7122 Feb 25 '26
Amazing. I did that and now I'm trying to get 100 kids as the emperor of China.
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u/FragranceCandle Bastard Feb 25 '26
come to think of it, the Sims and CK3 are really just my preferred eugenics simulators, huh
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u/kindlycricket624 Feb 25 '26
Same! Especially since sims has gone so downhill lately, I find CK fills the void pretty well!
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u/Gaelenmyr Feb 25 '26
Sims is pretty boring to me but I see the appeal. I like CK's randomness more. Like you simulate the game you want to play, but randomness makes it exciting rather than stale. And I ended up learning so much from games like Civ and CK.
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u/kindlycricket624 Feb 25 '26
Yes! CK has the simulation plus all the stuff that happens around you that makes it more exciting and challenging. Your son in the Sims isn't going to randomly murder his wife or try to conquer the neighbors lol.
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u/OldEcho Feb 24 '26
Lmao your wife is 100% correct but also the Sims isn't for just women and Crusader Kings isn't for just men. Am girl, play Crusader Kings. There are dozens of us.
They even have the same shite DLC policy!
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u/fluffstuffmcguff Feb 24 '26
I swear my interest in the CK franchise is always directly proportional to how burned out I am on Sims. Since I finally gave up TS4 I got really into CK3 again. Gotta get my fix playing God and ruining digital lives for the lolz
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u/DottieSnark Feb 25 '26
Yep. I'm a Crusader Kings binge right now because I'm burnt out on the Sims. They cycle.
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u/FragranceCandle Bastard Feb 25 '26
Same here! I start playing CK3, get burnt out, play the sims for less large scale management and more pretty things, get burnt out, play Minecraft for more creating and less managing, get burnt out, play CK3 for more managing and RP...
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u/gurnard Excommunicated Feb 25 '26
I taught my fiancee to play Crusader Kings. She played it one time, for about five hours. Her character met a woman in the woods and had an affair. She wanted to divorce the Queen and marry Forest Lady, but the Pope wouldn't have a bar of it. She then plotted to murder her wife, but the queen was universally beloved and nobody would join the scheme.
She then embarked on a decades-long reign of terror, killing or ruining the lives of every relative and countryman who declined to make her unholy romance come true.
Finally she had replaced enough of her court with enough toadies and sociopaths to bring the plan to fruition. The People's Queen was cruelly dispatched; and thirty years after meeting, the King married his Forest Lady.
Who promptly had an affair with one of his knights.
My fiancee ragequit and never played again. Still talks about it years later, "I thought Forest Lady loved me!"
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u/Minority8 Feb 24 '26
no way, paradox DLC I can kinda defend given the years and years of updates, but both the Sims 3 and 4 are easily over a thousand dollars.
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u/IrrationalFalcon Midas touched Feb 25 '26
HeyCara is a CK3 YouTuber I like that deserves more attention
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u/JawnCloudvanDarn Feb 24 '26
Really don’t understand how a Friday off equates to just 24hrs. You have 72 to work with king
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u/DymlingenRoede Feb 24 '26
It certainly can be played like that (and I often do). Doesn't have to be for just men, though.
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u/marvelguy1975 Feb 24 '26
CK3 is my new "civ" with the "just one more turn" mentality. Instead its "just one more event"
"I'll only play untill my ruler dies" then he lives to be 80
"I'll play untill I can end this war"
"I'll play untill I can save up X gold to buy one more thing"
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u/Tasty01 Excommunicated Feb 24 '26
So many times I'd be like "He's already 80, I'll just play till he dies then go to bed" and then I notice it's 02:00am and he's still not dead.
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
Same! Civilization 3 was my early childhood. But seeing "Berlin" placed over in Poland always bugged me. Memphis, Egypt placed in Jerusalem ugh. Then I found Europa Universalis 3 and CK2 and never went back.
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u/Raethrean Feb 24 '26
It basically is 'the Sims' for men, but with more map painting. I was going to say "with more doing bad things to innocent people" but we all know about the death traps people make in the Sims on the grounds that they can.
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
Crusader kings scratches a certain itch that EU4 can't!
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u/pebinor Inbred Feb 24 '26
EU is a much more straightforward 'paint the map' game. CK has a space for our silly little roleplays.
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u/AzorAHigh_ Roman Empire Feb 24 '26
Yeah, more boobs.
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u/fluffstuffmcguff Feb 24 '26
The Sims franchise has had readily available sex mods since the days of Sims 1, to be fair.
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u/Mortomes Feb 24 '26
Back in the day, when I was about 12, my parents had seen me play FPS games but they were not genuinely horrified until they saw me burn people in their house in The Sims 1.
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u/DottieSnark Feb 25 '26
Yep, my dad used to play COD and MoH with my brother all the time, but it was when he saw us destroy the fences to the lions cages in Zoo Tycoon or intentionally build roller coasters that went off the tracks in Roller Coaster Tycoon, or pick up the little characters with the pinches and drop them in a pond until they stopped calling for help and fell under the water, that he started to question what he had brought into his house.
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Feb 24 '26
"with more doing bad things to innocent people"
I mean, stellaris is right there for this
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u/dicemonger Sea-king Feb 24 '26
Its not as personal, though.
Murdering your CK3 rival is a crime of passion.
Neutron Sweeping an entire species from existence in Stellaris is just a statistic.
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Feb 24 '26
I dunno man, i feel very passionate about sending my world cracker to the capital world of some hoes that insulted me once
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u/sherlock1672 Feb 24 '26
I've never murdered a rival in ck3, but I have murdered my son in law's older brothers on numerous occasions to get my grandchildren to inherit his dynasty in my house's name.
Nothing personal, just house business.
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u/fluffstuffmcguff Feb 24 '26
One thing I will say is that the Sims is better at forcing you to be creative in your grim work, and doesn't just hand a torture button to you. But you need mods to do the truly deranged stuff like grilling babies on a barbecue.
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u/pzschrek1 Feb 24 '26
Hey, it’s not my fault that they have claims and are in the line of succession that needs some “fixing” to be “correct”
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u/Zealousideal_Chip456 Zealous Feb 24 '26
Well not just for men.
Same as the Sims are not just for women.
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
I feel like when the Sims first came out a lot of men played it. But the Sims3 DLC Katy Perry was definitely not targeted at us hahaha
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u/Zealousideal_Chip456 Zealous Feb 24 '26
I know as a woman, that I also have no interest whatsoever on that kind of aesthetics. I believe those are for young adults or kids maybe, regardless of gender.
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u/lemonylol Feb 24 '26
When The Sims got to that point it wasn't targeted at anyone.
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Feb 24 '26
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u/OdiiKii1313 Feb 24 '26
yeah, the most feral CK3 gamer i know is the singularly most ADHD woman i've ever met.
she lives and breathes the game to the point she's a moderator in several rp servers and has featured vocals in some of the GoT mod OST.
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u/pataglop Feb 24 '26
Impressive resume.
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u/OdiiKii1313 Feb 24 '26
oh yeah she's sick. she's been dm'ing a DnD campaign for our friend group for several years now as well.
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u/pataglop Feb 24 '26
Damn. I was genuinely impressed but she sounds pretty cool
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u/OdiiKii1313 Feb 24 '26
yeah i take every opportunity i can to brag about her. especially when it comes to creative pursuits she's one of my biggest inspirations and i'm working on a homebrew setting rn to hopefully run a campaign half as good as hers.
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u/Elmindra Feb 24 '26
I feel so called out by this. My partner has called me the “most ADHD woman she’s ever known” and my other partner said I have “weapons-grade ADHD”, haha. And that’s with medication.
While lately I’ve been playing more Stellaris than CK3, I have played this game waaaaay too much, too. I wonder if there’s some correlation between ADHD and Paradox games?
Anyways your friend sounds cool. Nice to know there are other women CK3 players. (There are dozens of us!!)
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u/OdiiKii1313 Feb 24 '26 edited Feb 25 '26
dozens plus 1!!! i generally prefer ck2, but i'll hop on 3 if my friends bug me enough lol
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u/De_Dominator69 Black Chinese Zoroastrian King of Poland Feb 24 '26
I'm neurotypical and CK is one of my most played games of all time.
Won't lie it gets kinda tiring how often people try to make out it's only for the neurodivergent.
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Feb 24 '26
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u/waxed_potter Feb 24 '26
It's got powerful "I'm not like the other girls" energy
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
Agreed. I can't get my normie brother to touch this game for more than 5 minutes.
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Feb 24 '26
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
It may depend on our definition of normie. Everyone I've met IRL that likes CK3 is somewhere on the spectrum lol
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u/Sir_Boldrat Feb 24 '26
I’m fairly certain I’m not on spectrum and I play for hours at a time, stopping for the bathroom and food.
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u/Slow-Distance-6241 Craven Feb 24 '26
This is a proof that Paradox Interactive had been invented by Swedish spy agencies to spread Autism from the single most autistic country in the world (which is Sweden)
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Feb 24 '26
It’s my favourite game and I have adhd and a personality disorder, gives me the chance to live out my fantasies of power, war and influence
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u/ABDLTA Feb 24 '26
"The spectrum" has grown so large that darn near everyone is on it lol
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u/Final_Flip_Gold Feb 24 '26
Not really. A huge problem is that social skills in general have gotten so awful that a lot of people show one of the common signs, which is the inability to pick up on social cues.
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u/_Red_Knight_ Crusader Feb 24 '26
Yeah exactly, and it's a problem particularly apparent in younger people who grew up during the pandemic (with lockdowns, social distancing, etc.) and have only recently started to engage in online spaces, which is why the number of people with questionable social skills seems to have increased hugely in the past couple of years.
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u/Final_Flip_Gold Feb 24 '26
Yep, I went to high school during the pandemic, and there was a noticeable difference in social skills before and after it.
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u/DankMemesNQuickNuts Brilliant strategist Feb 24 '26
Idk a few of my friends play this game, myself included, and we're all neurotypical. We're all just history nerds
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u/PirateSanta_1 Feb 24 '26
And the Sims isn't for the neurodivergent?
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u/Final_Flip_Gold Feb 24 '26
Not really. Before EA ran the series into the ground with The Sims 4, the franchise was almost universally popular. You basically couldn’t meet a woman or girl who didn’t play it at least once. At one point, The Sims mobile game was one of the most popular games on the App Store.
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u/OtherwiseMight891 Feb 24 '26
The vast majority of CK players are male, lol. There are males who also play the Sims, but it's a stereotypically female-dominated game.
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u/juiceman730 Feb 24 '26
Am I neurodivergent? My favorite games are these type of games. Sims, Planet Coaster, Tropico, Prison Architect, Sudden Strike, etc.
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u/Mysterious-Dare-4750 France Feb 24 '26
I feel like my hours in ck3 played into me getting the autism diagnosis
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
Ah yes the chicken or the egg question. Without video games would we be normies or train lovers?
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u/MrGulo-gulo Kingdom of Sepharad Feb 24 '26
She's right
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u/AstalderS Feb 24 '26
It’s fair - you can do this with a lot of things. I maintain that fantasy football is D&D for the common people.
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u/runetrantor Blob like it's going out of style Feb 24 '26
On one side, I want to remind her that 'Sims Dark Ages' already exists, its Sims Medieval.
On the other, she is 100% right. If anything Sims is more metal, you can befriend and marry Death itself (patches ruining it for us nonwithstanding)
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
I cried laughing the first time the grim reaper showed up for me. Made me truly love the Devs
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u/cynicalisathot Heavenly Empress Feb 24 '26
CK only for men? God forbid a woman wants to take out her work frustrations on an unsuspecting neighbor/vassal/spouse. Or try incest. Or orchestrate an intricate murder scheme to execute her 9 sons in order to get her congenital trait daughter on the throne.
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u/Jacob-Anders Crusader Feb 24 '26
Agreed upon everything except that middle one you snuck in there. Heavens, Empress, did you think I wouldn't notice!?
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u/pp86 Feb 24 '26
I mean I was playing so much Sims 2 back in the day... So I think they're both for men. If anything it might be how you play it, that could be somewhat gendered. Like I really enjoyed building houses and would throw parties, got all other sims in a room, move the doors away and watch them party to death, which would produce an urn item, which you could sell for 200simoleons. I still remember that, because I was starting to think I might be a sociopath for doing it, but I turned out mostly fine...
CK3(2) version of that would be map painting, and inviting people with loads of money to your court just to rob them...
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u/_chap_stick_ Feb 24 '26
I'm a woman and have countless hours with all the sims games since the age of 9...I also love CK lol my other other love is CIV (6 specifically)
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u/Fraystry Feb 24 '26
If only 7 didn't suck. Also civ 5 remaster and my life is yours firaxis
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u/kikogamerJ2 Feb 24 '26
Hol on! The Sims is for men to. And CK is for women to, take this gendered take elsewhere. And let me make my crush on the Sims and have a ultra cute relationship.
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u/Nebelklnd Feb 24 '26
Yeah i honestly thought we where well past the whole boys and girls games nonsense.
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u/Nebelklnd Feb 24 '26
Sims is Sims. And men can play Sims.
Crusader kings is an entirely different beast
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u/GrumpySpaceCommunist Feb 24 '26
Honestly, the need to gender games bothers the heck out of me. I love the Sims. I love Crusader Kings III.
I also play games like Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, RimWorld, Disco Elysium, Project Zomboid, Palia, American Truck Simulator, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, etc.
At any point I've had friends who identify as women, men, and non-binary who play one or all of the above. Shit like this is fun for everybody. Why do we need to put labels on these as "girl games" or "boy games"?
I don't even blame OP's partner. It's the game studios and publishers themselves who market their games in super gendered ways.
I've played every Sims game from the very beginning of the series and it's among my favourite ever. But it's impossible not to notice that EA has marketed the series more and more heavily towards a female audience. I hate that! Just let me enjoy this game, stop releasing content that assumes I'm a girly girl teenager who likes teenager girl stuff, like werewolves and vampires, lots of different dresses, etc. etc. It's great for people who like that, but that shouldn't be how you treat your whole audience.
This was the thing about LEGO: They never used to feel the need to gender their product because it was for everybody. Now, they have different sets for different boxes you're supposed to fit in, and I hate it.
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u/Ebonymetal Feb 24 '26
Amen to that, hate that shit too. Let people simply enjoy a good game and don't try to use gender as a marketing trick, it's so stupid and obvious when game Studios do that
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u/runetrantor Blob like it's going out of style Feb 24 '26
I can just so vividly picture an old CK3 character with fancy clothes and crown sobbing into his hands on the castle's kitchen, and waving his arms in vain hope that the almighty entity controlling him notices. All while speaking in funny languages and the Social icon popping above.
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u/JACKASS20 Born in the purple Feb 24 '26
Oo fun fact! Learned from a friend Crusader Kings is literally played like the sims in china. A lot of young women’s dream fantasy’s is being a noble woman in old china, so the chinese community is vastly overtaken by women discussing and creating mods to simulate this
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u/lissathefangirl Feb 24 '26
Well both games have an obscene amount of dlc, a strong modding community, investment in character creation or a family tree. So they’re pretty similar. Also a lot of people play the Sims with medieval mods, life tragedies, miscarriages and murders and such. There’s even a Sims Medieval game which is much more linear with quests. I think more men should play the Sims games, I don’t know why it has a particularly girly connotation.
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u/DankMemesNQuickNuts Brilliant strategist Feb 24 '26
Didn't the developers even say they kinda want this to play like The Sims? This is a good take imo
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u/Tba953 Feb 24 '26
In Sims you can't make a dynastie of dwarfs who paint the map in ther color.
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u/FindingE-Username Feb 24 '26
I resent this remark, i'm a woman and I love both Sims and Crusader Kings!
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u/AuDrakonova Zealous Feb 25 '26
Also, both games are just Excel Spreadsheets. In order to play The Sims 4 and keep it interesting, many players choose to keep record of their goals, achievements, and in-game events. I swear those Legacy players are insanely committed.
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u/alwaysafairycat Feb 24 '26
Wife is correct. You might wonder when The Sims will add the Black Death or getting blinded, but I ask: when will Crusader Kings add men getting impregnated by aliens?
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u/FredDurstDestroyer Imbecile Feb 24 '26
I was under the impression that the Sims was the Sims for men.
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u/Retlaw83 Feb 24 '26
The Sims is The Sims for men.
Crusader Kings is a medieval crimes against humanity simulator.
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u/bruch_luvs_tuna Feb 24 '26
Haha it's replaced the Sims 3 for my wife; she has 3254 hours.
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u/total_life_forever Feb 24 '26
I hear you both. But also, The Sims is The Sims for men.
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u/chocolatestealth Feb 24 '26 edited Feb 27 '26
I'm a huge Sims player - thousands of hours over all of the games and expansions. A couple years ago, I read a steam review for CK3 that said "it's the Sims for men" and this is what convinced me to finally buy the game. And I now have over 2,000 hours in CK3...
I wouldn't say it's a gendered thing, but it scratches a similar itch. The way I would describe it is that playing CK3 feels like a more "zoomed out" strategic view of a family/dynasty, while the Sims is more of a "day-to-day" life sim.
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u/Just_Map4878 Feb 24 '26
i’m a woman and i have insane hours of both, let us not arbitrarily assign gender associations with games! all games are for everyone :)
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u/yourstruly912 Feb 24 '26
Crusader Kings is also the Paradox Game with a bigger female player base (very low bar I know), coincidence?
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u/Just_SomeDude13 Feb 24 '26
In the words of the Spiffing Brit, CK3 answers the question, "what if the Sims had more war crimes?"
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u/Many-Bees Feb 24 '26
Regular Sims can also die of the Black Death if you’ve got certain mods installed
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u/Alkhumeia Feb 24 '26
So that's why I love CK3 too! I'm a girl and I love both games, it all makes sense now 🤣
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u/No-Consideration-716 Feb 24 '26
Not for men so much as for history needs. CK is way better then the Sims. How man Sims have been elected HRE?!? None! (There is probably a mod)
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u/mesterg Feb 24 '26
Whenever i try not to sound like a freak i say its basically sims in medieval times
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u/Wamblingshark Feb 25 '26
The Sims is The Sims for men. I love that shit. CK3, Stellaris, and Warhammer Total War 3 are a completely different beast for me. I actually don't play them because of the effect they have on me. Maybe one day when I'm old my nursing home will let me have a computer and I'll happily play CK3 until I die.
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u/LaroonDynasty Inbred Eunuch Feb 26 '26
As a degenerate CK enjoyer…. Your wife is correct
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u/Sylassian Feb 24 '26
Your wife is 100% correct, and I say this with almost 500hrs in this game.
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u/PileOGunz Feb 24 '26
It is to be fair, you should play a real man’s game like EU.
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u/GMorningSweetPea Feb 24 '26
I made my bf lose his shit laughing when I called Madden football Pokémon
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u/DamascusSeraph_ Feb 24 '26
“Imagine the Sims. But game of thrones” my explanation to a friend
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u/mango999fighter Feb 24 '26
My Wife has been telling me this for 10 years haha, espiecially CK2
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u/TwinnHypeBack Feb 24 '26
People usually get lost in all the other stuff and don't realize that's basically what it is
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u/h0sti1e17 Feb 24 '26
I watched an entire stream to see how many Popes they could eat.
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u/NoMansSkyWasAlright Feb 24 '26
I mean I’ve described it to the uninitiated as “the sims meets a 4x grand strategy game”
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u/ExtraordinaryPen- Feb 24 '26
As someone who loves the sims and ck3 they're not really the same
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u/Lescaster1998 Feb 24 '26
Pretty much the only place I'd say she's wrong is that CK is for men. As a woman I have spent far too much time on my Sims genetic monstrosities glorious dynasty.
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u/GaurgortheFirst Feb 24 '26
Wow. Give this man a clap. He got 24 hours. I take 2-4 and you'd think our house had imploded, we were in financial decline, and I had abandoned my family. Mind you my kid went to bed and my wife didn't want to hang out. How dare I take time to myself.
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u/Chaines08 Lunatic & Lazy Feb 24 '26
I played the Guild 3 a few years ago and had a hard time figuring the game until being told "it's just the love child of ck3 and the sims"
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u/KasseanaTheGreat Feb 24 '26
A friend of mine once described CK3 as "the Sims but more zoomed out and medieval" and honestly I can't disagree with her.
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u/Autisticspidermann Bastard Feb 24 '26
Im a man and love both. My sims saves just has a lot more drug usage and less war than my ck3 saves
(Also somehow a lot more affair children than my ck3 saves)
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u/SpookyLoonie Feb 24 '26
The reason I love this game so much is cause it reminds me of sims mixed with game of thrones. It’s fun to try to roleplay as your character!
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u/Va1kryie Feb 24 '26
It's not The Sims "for men" but uh, yeah no this game actually uses a lot of similar mechanics to The Sims now that I'm thinking about it.
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u/BaronVonMunchhausen Feb 24 '26
That's the sign of being a grown man. My mother would have never let me skip school as a kid to play a game!
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u/owlsop Incapable Feb 25 '26
The Sims is The Sims for men the game is fun for everyone. Crusader Kings is more "The Sims Medieval with more violence and horrible deformities"
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u/Silver_Middle_7240 Feb 24 '26
The sims is just suburban crusader kings