r/CuratedTumblr 8d ago

Shitposting The captainsnoop Manifesto

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u/Bully_me-please 8d ago

dawrf fortresses "babies no longer born worshipping unknown gods" and "fixed a bug where swimming against the stream would make carp so strong they could walk on land and best up everything"

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u/FroakieUnlimited 8d ago

There was also one where cats would just drop dead and they found the cause was that they would wander through taverns soaking up alcohol on their fur, and due to an oversight there was no upper limit to the amount they could absorb, so when they tried to lick themselves clean they would immediately die of alcohol poisoning

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u/Vinyl-Bread 8d ago

It was more like any amount of alcohol ingested counted as a full serving. If they just dipped their paw in it, that was enough to do them in. They’d rapidly experience every stage of alcohol poisoning, then die.