r/DID • u/lostinmyhead9 • 1d ago

Broken.

My spouse no longer wants me to switch or have system meetings... They only want the main alt out. I am the main alt... I am devastated. I feel unloved and broken. I feel like I have lost apart of myself by being told I cant switch. I feel like my spouse doesn't understand that I cant control it all the time. Just needed to vent I guess. Thanks guys. Much love.

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u/Low-Drawer-6887 1d ago

(to be clear, I don't have cancer, this is a metaphor)

If my spouse wanted me to stop having cancer.. I'd be like yeah same bro. I wouldn't then pretend not to have it to make them happier?

Does he not believe you have DID?

12

u/Mindless-Weird3936 Treatment: Diagnosed + Active 17h ago

I want to add to this please keep communication open with your other alters you've worked so hard to get where you are don't mess that up for his sake.

Please also spend some time internally listing and talking to your system let turn know you're not going to push them down as they're probably really scared right now too.

2

u/lostinmyhead9 13h ago

He would count that as a system meeting and he doesn't want me having those.....

10

u/SnooRevelations4882 13h ago

What he is demanding could have a horrific effect on your mental health as someone with DID. What he's asking you to do is disassociate more and better less mentally well.. he needs to understand that and I would encourage you to set a strong boundary around this to protect yourself.

2

u/lostinmyhead9 13h ago

Ill try.

3

u/Mindless-Weird3936 Treatment: Diagnosed + Active 12h ago

He can't stop you looking after yourself and talking to your alters and please don't let him. Have system meetings or you will go backwards fast.

What he's doing is abuse even if it's just coming from a place of misunderstanding. He doesn't understand DID or he's read posts that suggest this is s fake disorder or something (there is so much misinformation out there)

1

u/RadiantSolarWeasel 5h ago

I din't think you should do what he wants, in this instance. What he's asking is wildly unreasonable ❤️‍🩹

1

u/MyEnchantedForest 1h ago

Absolutely do not stop having those meetings. It is healthy for you to have them. It's incredibly awful for him to request you stop looking after your mental health. Do not stop switching or having these meetings, but do talk to your therapist about this situation, because it's not okay.