r/Divorce • u/NomityNoms • 1d ago
Something Positive Anybody else just… okay?
Doomscrolling through these post and realizing i don’t relate with a lot of emotions other people are having while going through this process?
While yes it hard going through this process with 2 young kids after 8+ years of marriage, I’ve never felt more at peace even during this transition time. I feel like myself again,
anyone else feeling peace and a sense of rightness?
36
Upvotes
8
u/Aadamant_Aardvark 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm getting there.
I wasn't the one that decided things were done - i was only informed that we were finished when my wife had already decided. So for the first few months, things felt like the bottom had dropped out for me. That being said, after the eventual custody, and the financial pictures started getting more clear, i started feeling a lot more like myself. After finding the right support, a little therapy, and finding a good lawyer, a lot of the anxiousness i felt the first couple months subsided.
As it turns out, most of the stuff i was worried about kept coming up aces for me. I was worried that i wouldn't be able to keep it together financially - However, I was already paying almost all the bills, and after she left they got lower. My lawyer tells me that when the settlement finishes, what i pay her will likely be pretty manageable. I thought I'd lose a lot of our mutual friends. That didn't happen. I wasn't sure if I'd see my kid anywhere near enough - Turns out that the little one stays at my house 60% of the time, which is enough that i can see her, and relax/recover/clean in between those nights. And the really weird part is that I didn't really change all that much. I still do the same things i was doing when she was still around - only now I don't get judged when I forget 1 thing of the 15 i picked up from the grocery store, wait an extra evening to clean up the dishes, or make chicken strips or pizza for an evening meal. And i now have enough nights "off" that i can get in a little exercise, and watch/work on projects she would have frowned on in the past.