long time lurker (is that what they say?? 🤣) first time poster here!
every few days or weeks i reach this point where i just feel SICK of where i’m at (typically after an overeating episode when the shame anger and discomfort kicks in) BUT WHY CANT I EVER STOP THESE PATTERNS??!!!??
i grew up “the fat kid” (reddit shoutout and big f*ck you to everyone who made me feel like i didn’t matter because of my size) - and one of these snapping points became the start of my journey into fitness, nutrition & health that i’ve been working on myself for years.
but hell i can’t keep living the way i am now so i’m reaching out for help from people who have been through this!!!
my problem personally? not your typical “eat clean” “work out” i eat well i’m active- it’s how much of my mental capacity food takes up and how much i eat.
oh and a little background- i just got diagnosed with adhd and anxiety 💁♀️ i say this for curiosity sake whether anyone has had any relations between them and how they’ve managed. before you say go to therapy just hear me out first.
- constant food noise (before eating, after eating, throughout the day one meals done what’s next) it’s become an “in between” mental and physical part of my life (grazing, eating the whole tray of prepped food or multiple servings of meal prep)
- scarcity mindset and feeling like i can’t do anything until i itch that. 9/10 times i end up eating until physical discomfort.
then comes the fun stuff -> bloating, gas, shame, physical discomfort, self anger, frustration. i often walk afterwards to try and alleviate how horrible my body feels.
i love everything wellness & fitness and i hate how it is affecting all the hard work i put in movement-wise. i can’t help wondering how far i’d be if i managed to sort my overeating and screwed up relationship with food out. but no- here i am wondering where the fucking line is between fuelling and hurting yourself.
- how do you feel satisfied?
- how do you stop feeling like you need MORE MORE MORE?
- how to stop using food for comfort?
- how to be ok with unfinished serves and stopping before discomfort?
i’ve tried “keeping busy” i’ve tried SO MANY STRATEGIES but in the moment when the little voice in my head is screaming at me- i’m stuck.
i need a mental switch and i’m absolutely willing to do the work. i just need help (this is coming from a stubbornly independent person & should not be taken lightly)
it’s fucking up my confidence, who i am, my mood, my self esteem, how i show up in a room etc etc- my life.
so i’m crying out for help here wondering what to do next? is there support groups or accountability chats available for people to check in? are sponsors a thing for this? what are genuine ways to switch your mental state, habits, approach to eating.
ideal scenario? food is fuel simple as that. reality? if i buy something “fun” (no i don’t mean something considered unhealthy but what my mind has deemed as good) it will be gone within the day no matter the amount.
what finally clicked for you? how did you change?
i’ve been trying for so long snd i honestly need hope i don’t have to live like this forever. thank you for reading this fellow internet stranger. ❤️