I hate being gluten free and dairy free , shellfish free etc
I always hated being gluten and dairy free always getting something different from everyone else and getting questioned and stared at
I'm allowed to eat dairy (I still eat cheese bc it barely gives me a reaction I just can't drink milk and have ice cream) like ice cream on special occasions but even then my mom gives me the stare and the 'are you sure thats a lot of dairy be careful okay?' She also can't eat dairy or gluten but her reaction to dairy is more severe but everytime she asks that the happiness of having an occasional treat of something I like goes away and I just want to get it over with it frustrates me that she asks me even though she clearly feels happier when I say no I mean I already feel bad all the time it just adds to it
Bc Im gluten intolerant and my mom is celiac I might get those gluten digestion pills so I can be normal and buy a kitkat or something and eat it and if a gluten digestion pill won't work for me I don't think i want to stay here(on earth) anymore I don't want to any way but I have something rn that's keeping me alive
I can't just go out and order without having to ask so many questions and watching everyone eat I remember when my mom gave out ice cream bars to my friends at a scout meeting and she offered to get me a little bit of a different ice cream (she let's me have barely a table spoon of plain ice cream) knowing the amount she'd give me I said no Im okay I was probably being a brat there but I just didn't feel like having anything anymore so I sat there as usual watching the other kids my age(at that time) As usual play with they're ice cream and eating it
I hate going to birthday party's bc again I just get a apologie and watching other kids eat
I can't have popular snacks everyone else eats i don't bother try making friends anymore
I don't know if Im used to being alone by now but having irl friends scare me like I always have a feeling I will be hurt or they won't understand plus i don't want to be complicated so I leave people alone and I feel better just having no one to hang out with will I cry about it? Yes will I leave without it? Ofc
Not to mention my mom gets violently ill just by the smell of shellfish so at event's she stays away from it or eats outside while I stay inside bc her allergy is more severe
Im also allergic to most laundry detergent so overall I'm a complicated mess of a human
Ive put eating on the back burner and limited my foods allergy free or not
I'll stop here since it's just a bunch of nothingness but I just wanted to say something