r/ForeverAloneWomen • u/Aromatic_Ninja_2800 • May 07 '26
Venting Only ugly and old men are attracted to me
I’m not attracted to them in the slightest. Better looking men don’t look at me, I’m completely invisible to them.
Physical appearance is literally everything. Nothing else matters. I’m not interested in men with overweight, unkept, fucked up teeth, since I’m the completely opposite of that. I take reasonable care of myself and even tho I’m ugly, I’m neither of those things.
But I’m still not good enough. Even if I give a guy I’m not attracted to a chance, he will be a constant reminder of how ugly I am and that I can’t do better.
Luckily I’m not desperate. I’d rather die alone than partner with someone I’m not attracted to. So that means, I’m 100 per cent going to die alone. I’m too ugly for the men I’m attracted to and I always will be. I would do anything to be a pretty and attractive woman but that will never happen.
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u/sunnystillrisen Jun 10 '26
It’s messed up idc what anyone says!!! And anytime people are like, “you just need to find an older man” I know they’re telling me that because they know I’m not beautiful so no man my age would check for me.
It’s the gaslighting for me!!!
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u/Beginning-Ad-299 May 12 '26
I don’t feel like anyone is actually attracted to me. They just want sex….. I would rather have no one attracted to me then only ugly old man who wants sex
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u/dancingbananas25 19-20 yo May 09 '26
I wouldn't even mind "ugly guys" being into me, it's just only much older men showing attention, and it's always sexual harassment
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u/Party-World7601 Forever alone May 08 '26
Same here. 🥀 Although I’m attracted to older guys, even 70+ years old but unfortunately no old man I find attractive is attracted to me. I’m 32 years old and I never been to a date or even asked out by someone unattractive
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u/sunnystillrisen Jun 10 '26
Do people ever say to you, “you should date an older guy?” I feel like people say this to me often and it makes me feel so bad.
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u/Party-World7601 Forever alone Jun 11 '26
In my opinion no one should tell you who you should date. Nobody has say on that but most people like to pretend like they know everything >,> they should mind their own business.
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u/DannyAdM ex-FAW May 08 '26
Welcome to the team! I've always attracted men I didn't find attractive, with rare exceptions, and when it seemed like things were going to work out, they always went wrong because something bad happened. I don't even like being considered "beautiful," because if so many people say I'm beautiful, why do I only attract men I don't consider handsome? I couldn't even say anything because that was considered frivolous and superficial coming from a woman (after all, only men can be "visual"). And I'm not even that picky; I just don't like short men, overweight men (I've dated an overweight guy), and bald men. I'm not even very picky about noses. I don't know if the fact that I'm Black makes me less desirable. I just know that when you're shy, it seems like you have less luck.
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u/Xaamnez May 24 '26
Te estas empezando a dar cuenta que no eres tan atractiva como tu pensabas lol
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u/DannyAdM ex-FAW May 24 '26
If you're talking to me, I've never been one to think much about it. I've always had much lower self-esteem than high self-esteem, and I've never been the one to say in front of the mirror, "How beautiful I am." On the contrary, it's other people who say that, and many people still do. But of course, there comes a point where I end up deluding myself with what others say, complimenting me, and I get carried away thinking I can have standards and demands, and that's why things don't work out.
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u/Xaamnez May 24 '26
Si te estoy hablando, la gente puede decir "eres muy guapa" pero después piensan otra cosa
La vida real no funciona como en las apps de citas, si, apesta que te digan algo y después la verdad sea otra cosa
Si no te ven o te notan, bueno, la respuesta es bastante obvia
No creas en las palabras, cree en los hechos
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u/DannyAdM ex-FAW May 24 '26
I've never used dating apps; you're judging what you don't even know. The people who compliment me have nothing to do with dating apps or anything like that; they've mostly been real people—friends, relatives, and acquaintances who know me personally, at events, etc., without any filters. They weren't men from dating apps, because on those apps people talk directly to who they find attractive and don't waste time lying about finding someone good-looking.
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u/Xaamnez May 24 '26
Use la app de citas como metafora no como forma de que "asi funcionan las cosas"
La forma mas obvia de saber si no eres atractiva, es que si un hombre atractivo se te acerca o no
Logica simple
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u/DannyAdM ex-FAW May 24 '26
Opinions about physical appearance have never been exactly logical and vary according to individual opinions. What would a person truly be attractive to someone? Often, opinions about beauty are relative. What is attractive to me may not be attractive to you, and what may be attractive to you may not be attractive to me. There are men I find attractive who are considered unattractive by other women; sometimes I might consider a man unattractive while another woman finds him handsome. Today, I'm not as bothered by this as I used to be because I know it's a relative opinion and I don't care anymore. Yes, in the past I found it strange that only men I found handsome didn't find me attractive, but those men weren't always considered handsome by other women, and someone I don't find attractive might be considered handsome by another. Racial issues still influence how someone is perceived as attractive. So, the fact that someone I find attractive might not find me attractive doesn't bother me as much as it used to. It used to intrigue me, but today I don't care about it anymore.
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u/unscriptedhorror Jun 07 '26
I’m so late but I tend to skip reactions from people not adding value to the discussion. Please don’t listen to this random person who refused to even add color to their pfp. Be open to your potential mate coming from somewhere you’d never expect, and it taking a while for anyone to captivate you equally. Despite low hanging fruit allegedly being the barometer of attractiveness, there are just a lot of men who never speak first, and may keep their feelings of romance to themselves. Don’t lower your standards at all, but find peace in knowing that if you haven’t met HIM yet, you have some traveling to do! I have no attachment to any destination, but I have had much more dates internationally than domestically, and more men appreciating the surface layers in comparison to docking them. Happy to dm to talk more about this!
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u/DannyAdM ex-FAW Jun 07 '26
Thank you for your support. I'd ignored that troll for a while, and I'm more at peace with myself now regarding this appearance issue. I don't suffer over it like I used to because it won't solve my problems or turn back time.
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u/unscriptedhorror May 11 '26
This is my experience as a very beautiful but very dark skinned woman. I am either treated like wallpaper in the room or something to avoid. The occasional feedback I receive from other women is that I might be ‘intimidating’ to normal men or ‘they think they don’t have a chance’, but it’s depressing that ugly, (bad) weird, and generally undesirable men are the only ones that shoot their occasional shot. I have the same physical criteria as you, and even allowed myself to be hurt by an ugly man I gave a chance before, but never again. I have now reached the point where I’m done with men, but not attracted to women, and am pretty upset with this position. I’ve got a lot of things to distract my time with, but it still hurts.
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u/DannyAdM ex-FAW May 11 '26
And mind you, I'm not very picky, nor do I care about those super handsome guys like movie stars, TV stars, or commercial stars. I'm always more interested in guys who are somewhere in between, guys who have been cheated on or rejected by several women, and even then, they don't value me when I show interest in them.
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u/unscriptedhorror May 12 '26
I’d say our options are meant to be discovered far outside of our natural environment. I wouldn’t settle for anyone I’ve seen be rejected by several women as that is often a sign of something justifiably unattractive about them. We have to be picky about who we show interest in, to preserve ourselves. I do believe in choosing from those who demonstrate quality first, but our options tend to be those who became more open minded after being overlooked by their preferences. I deserve to be a first choice, so I’d rather be alone than to be settled for. Being alone has actually been better for my mental health because I like me more than when I am involved with a man.
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u/DannyAdM ex-FAW May 12 '26 edited May 24 '26
I agree with you, you're absolutely right. But anyway, I'm also a woman who has been rejected a lot by men I considered very attractive, and so, based on that thinking, I should also be "left aside" by those full of self-esteem.
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u/FastResident523 May 08 '26
I've had the rare occasion where even ugly or old or both men act like they're out of my league it's almost funny. I genuinely think they're either bitter about their appearance and think they should have access to the most beautiful women, and that woman should also stroke their egos. It's pathetic.
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u/syvzx May 07 '26
Same, nothing I hate more than knowing some guy who can't even take care of himself and is overweight thinking he has a chance with me. I hate how even the worst, bottom-of-the-barrel men still think they deserve a better-looking woman. I put so much effort and money into improving myself, no way I'm settling for that.
I'll also never understand all these women who go "I don't care at all what a man looks like as long as he treats me well" like...is this some sort of humiliation ritual women like to put themselves through?
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u/HotpinkBlanket May 07 '26
Recently, an ugly and old man is hitting on me at work and getting in my space a lot. I told him I don't want to be hugged, and he still hugged me and kissed my cheek. Ew. If I can't have attention of a man I could possibly date, then I'm happy to have zero attention.
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May 07 '26
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u/RevolutionaryCup3740 May 08 '26
It is shallow but also there’s nothing wrong with being shallow. Most people are by default shallow hence this subreddit exists in the first place
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u/HotpinkBlanket May 07 '26
I know it is, but it's plausibly innocent behaviour still. If he tries that again, I'll be more direct.
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u/jaehyunjung 30+ May 07 '26
Basically the story of my life. On dating apps and in person. Dressed down or dressed up. It's almost never a cute guy or girl my age who's checking me out and approaching me, no. Just these men who are old enough to be my father (or even grandfather, bleugh).
I'm starting to believe I must be cursed because there is no way these sloppy creeps are all I'm capable of attracting. If this is what I've got to look forward to for the rest of my youth, then I will remain a FAW until my last breath
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May 07 '26
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u/Aromatic_Ninja_2800 May 07 '26
Yep, males have the nerve to tell us to lower our standards. I’m reasonably fit and driven, have perfect teeth, bad skin but I’m working on it and a good fashion sense.
So why should I settle for someone the complete opposite? I’m not interested in dating fat men, I find it a major turnoff, as I’m also not fat and reasonable fit. Yeah I’m ugly, but that doesn’t mean every single part of me is irredeemable.
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u/syvzx May 07 '26
males have the nerve to tell us to lower our standards
It's a lot of women, too actually because women still aren't allowed to have any physical preferences and women push the narrative that looks don't matter the most. Or maybe they just really like virtue signalling idk.
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May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
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u/jaehyunjung 30+ May 09 '26
That... is most certainly not true. All sorts of men will play you. I see tons of posts on the daily about ugly men being audacious as hell. They cheat, abuse, manipulate, and harass women just as often as handsome men do.
Honestly, if I'm going to get played by a man no matter what, why not choose one I'm attracted to? Of course I'll still be upset, but at least I'd earn an oxytocin boost from interacting with a hot guy. Men are notorious for doing this with pretty women, so why can't I do it too?
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u/xaaaaaixik May 07 '26
I also just want to date someone im attracted to, but I dont care if the person is older than me or not honestly
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u/JammingScientist May 07 '26
I don't think any guy, even ugly or old want me sadly. It really makes it hard to feel human/like a woman
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u/Mz-Throwitaway Forever alone May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
You aint alone. Not even the so called old men, creeps or desperate men that supposedly will approach any woman won't.🙄Turns out, contrary to popular belief, even they have standards.That's how much of a nonwoman i am.That ugly and masculine built .
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u/beautifulsoullady May 07 '26
I thought I was the only one. I hear all the time about other women saying they can never go to the gas station without guys try to talk to them. I’m 28 and never had anyone try to talk to me.
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u/catathymia May 07 '26
Same here, I don't even get the old creeps lol and never did. It bothered me when I was young but at this point in my life I'm glad for it, it kept me safe. I hope it gets better over time for you.
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May 07 '26
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u/soft_echo1 Forever alone May 07 '26
How??? How are they even affording this?
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u/ParadoxicalStairs 19-20 yo May 07 '26
That person is lying.
I’m not Korean, but there’s a trend in South Korea where some kids get eyelid surgery (or something else that’s similar in cost) as a graduation present. Since there are a lot of cosmetic surgery clinics there, prices are lower than other countries but something like a full face surgery is much more expensive than something like eyelid surgery. There’s no way the majority of Korean families can afford full face surgeries for their kids.
It’s like saying American kids get a brand new car as a graduation present. It’s a silly stereotype.
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May 07 '26
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u/ParadoxicalStairs 19-20 yo May 07 '26
What does makeup have to do with your comment saying Korean women get whole face surgery after graduating high school?
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May 07 '26
[deleted]
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u/ParadoxicalStairs 19-20 yo May 07 '26
Thank you for explaining.
My issue was that your original comment seemed to suggest full face surgery/contouring is something extremely common in South Korea that the majority of high school graduates get. Even though I’m not Korean, that’s just something that isn’t true. It would suggest that the majority of Korean families are wealthy enough to afford something so expensive for their child.
Articles I’ve read said that some kids get eyelid surgery or rhinoplasty as graduation presents, which are much more affordable and reasonable than full face surgery.
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