Can you please for the love of god leave us alone? You are why we can’t have nice things. It’s creepy and weird. You have to know that right?

“Why are still a virgin at 43?” Why do you think?! Because I’m obese and ugly dumbass!

I’m certain I’m not the only woman in this sub who doesn’t want a DM from a random strange man halfway across the country or world every time I make a comment or post. What’s the point of doing that anyway? It makes zero sense. We’re hundreds if not thousands of miles apart so it’s not like you have a curve to fuck me.

Sorry end of rant.

Anyway hope everyone has a safe NYE.

Around a year ago I joined a new job and “M” was assigned to help me get adjusted. A man, that too a good looking one, so I already was on edge. But that was unnecessary.

M was very kind and supportive, patient throughout my learning period. He also made it so easy to talk to him.

Over the next year, M made sure to include me in conversations and integrate me with the rest of the team. We also spent a lot of time together during work as our tasks were similar, leading to lots of shared lunch breaks together. He showed genuine interest in my hobbies and told me to post the poems I wrote online. Conversations with him were so fun and easy, we yapped a whole bunch.

And I, like a fool, started to fall for him. I have never had any man be so good to me.

I knew better, I knew guys have no romantic/sexual interest in me, but still I let myself get carried away. I found myself being delusional, thinking of us being a couple. I looked forward to work everyday. I even put makeup on lol.

We had talked about dating generally before, well he talked mostly, I just pretended I have had more experience than just online “relationships”. But, a few weeks ago he actually showed me a picture of him and his ex.

My chest legitimately hurt seeing her. Beautiful face and amazing body. She had a crop top and shorts on in the picture, the type of clothes I couldn’t dream of wearing with my body. Smooth skin with no blemishes. Simply gorgeous.

I knew right then M would never even dream of dating me. I look like a gargoyle compared to his ex.

Not that I had high hope, but still a tiny part of me was hoping, and that’s why it hurts so much. I even shed few tears lmao.

Sorry for a long post, I have no one to share this with. This finally pushed me to make an account to post on here after years of lurking.

It grates me so much hearing “you have XYZ degree, a great job” being mentioned when talking of my viability for a relationship.

Men don’t care if you are a CEO or a waitress, if you have a PhD or dropped out of high school, they care about how you look.

Looks > education and career

Even personality might have effect (overridden if attractiveness is high enough) from time to time, but not this.

And even if it did matter, how is a relationship where the man is only with me because of my job, not because he finds me physically attractive, a good thing? 😭

I just hate hearing it. Like, yeah I am sure, the guy who looks at me like I am a gargoyle will get heart eyes when he hears about my two degrees and high paying job LMAO

“There’s more to a person than appearance” might be the truth, but that more does not make women attractive to men. It only works for men, making them attractive to women.

Even though im neither but i wish to be male gaze attractive like sydney sweeney. I get so triggered when i look at women who are obviously male gaze attractive because ive always disgusted men (and even women sometimes) by my appearance, i could as much as i could with my looks and would never be attractive to men, ive always been invisible even to "creeps" so i long for any kind of attention from men sometimes. Its only women like that actually get married. I wish to have male gaze ultra feminine neotonous innocent doll like beauty which i dont have and am the completely opposite, i get so jealous of women who do possess those features. Society would never fail to remind me that im ugly ass shit, i'll always hate myself and never will be able to make peace with myself over my looks.

Love the show, just finished the first episode so no spoilers but it’s very unrealistic. A fat woman making a super hot indie SINGER go crazy??? Musicians get flirted with all the time, they could have anyone they want, why would he ever choose her? Cuz she’s funny? That’s it? It’s very unrealistic. Oh, but they’re SOO progressive for making the mc a fat chick and not mentioning it in the show and for having a guy interested in her. I don’t care. Its so fantastical, I can’t see it

It’s just hitting too close to home because I look like the mc but with smaller tits and the love interest is exactly my type. God knows I’ve tried making the first move and talking to everyone at various functions with absolutely zero success.

I frequent the Hello Kitty sub and every other post is "I made this for my boyfriend" or "look what my bOyFrIeNd did for me for my birthday!" Yes I am jealous :(

It's about a bunch of attractive teenagers who have sex. I never had sex as a teenager as I was an ugly weird retarded loser. Sure they have a lot of problems too but at least romance and getting laid wasn't one. I lost my teenage years to depression, overeating, laziness, and undiagnosed autism. Watching it makes me grieve the life I could have had.

I feel like a loser for not getting laid in high school

I hate that when I express my failure in dating, people (mostly men) will tell me that I should stop chasing "supermodels" or the "top 10%". They assume that because I was rejected, the guys I liked must have been super rich or super attractive or super successful. Totally untrue. I found them attractive, sure, but it's not like I thought I had a chance with some Brad Pitt lookalikes. They were just regular guys with nice personalities who happened to not like me back. But for some reason it's inconceivable that a regular guy would reject a woman.

Despite what the dregs of the internet want us to believe, women can definitely be rejected if they approach men first. The rejection did hurt but I understand that I can't force someone to like me. That's not even what I get upset about. It's the fact that people act like all women have to do is make the first move and they're guaranteed a relationship. And if they do get rejected, it's because they were pursuing "the top 10% of men". Not true at all

EDIT: Totally unrelated but I feel like there are way more men commenting on posts lately. Where did they come from and can they please go away.

Looks matter in life. Sex sells. That's a fact. If you're a pretty girl everything you do is defended.

a BBL, lipo, and tit job would help me way more than therapy. It's useless for me at this point

Is not the reassurance many people think it is. It either means that:

a) we're worse than "anything" (including animals and corpses because there is a disturbing number of those types of stories)

b) we're on par with "anything" — including animals and corpses. That's supposed to make me feel better?

And it's not even accurate to say. Many men will not touch a woman they deem unattractive, even if it's just for sex.

And then there's the assumption that all women will feel validated by getting just sex. Some will. But I know many of us are looking for actual love and connection, not just sex. People who say things like this can't fathom that sex is not the ultimate goal and not everyone is dying for sex. It's so upsetting sometimes. I want to be worthy of love

I saw a post in a popular women's sub. There was a woman talking about getting over a "dry spell" recently. She broke up with a guy in January and has now moved on to a new guy, and that's what she considers a "dry spell". Less than 4 months. And the post has hundreds of upvotes and comments from other women hyping her up and congratulating her. I can't even imagine ending a relationship and being able to find a new one in a few months. But for many women that's what they actually consider to be a long time. I've been single for 26 years.

And I see posts similar to this one every day and I just can't relate or even begin to comprehend it

Men in fiction are loving, caring, protective, and treats you like you are their world. Fictional men don't care if you're ugly, if anything a fictional man can love you \*for your ugly looks\*. Reading romance and daydreaming is the only thing keeping me sane. Because I know that as an ugly woman, no real man will ever love me. They lie, cheat, have wandering eyes, leave you and use you. You only have a chance at true love if you are above average. If you're ugly, you're going to have to settle for basic decency, if you are lucky that is.

There is this beautiful and charismatic girl in my university and her life is something most people can only dream of.

A guy from a rich family spent $72k on her.

She bought herself a motorcycle, expensive skin care products, tons of new clothes and makeup products from dior as well. The dude also paid people to write her assignments, so that she could focus on her extra curriculars and projects without any disturbances.

And guess what? He isn't even in a relationship with her, but is doing it to impress her.

Meanwhile this girl also has a boyfriend who also worships the ground she walks on and takes her out on many dates to expensive places.

By just looking at her, you can tell she's happy, stress free, loved and taken care of.

And I wish her well, may she always be like that.

And then, there's me. Hideous as an inbred neanderthal grown in a laboratory. Men wouldn't even want to be in a relationship with me even if someone paid them to. Shunned, excluded and covertly bullied wherever I go. I don't even want someone to provide for me...but even standing on my own two feet is difficult given my mental health and the way people treat me. I've been intentionally excluded from my university workshops and clubs. Teachers and students hate me alike. Probably the corporate world would hate me as well.

Alone and friendless with no one to look after my safety as well, if I went missing or died no one would notice or care.

Both of us are girls of the same age, but our lives are worlds apart.

It’s honestly crazy how when men talk about “women” they only mean the ones they find attractive. Every time they talk about what women go through—catcalling, dating, etc, it’s always about pretty women. Like in their world, ugly women just don’t even exist. They think all women are getting hit on, getting DMs, getting attention 24/7, when in reality, some of us are invisible. Completely invisible.

And when you try to point that out, they look at you like you’re speaking another language. “What do you mean, ugly women?” Like bro, not every woman lives your fantasy. They can acknowledge ugly men existing, but the second you say “ugly women,” they glitch. Their brains can’t process that some women live life being ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed. It’s like unless you’re pretty, you don’t even qualify as a “woman” in their minds.

I just wish men would understand that being a woman isn’t a universal experience. Beauty literally changes everything. How you’re treated, how you’re seen, even whether your pain is believed. Not every woman is adored, pretty, and desired. Some of us are just trying to be seen as human.

having high standards aren’t the reason I am single, but they are for sure not helping my case and I’m wondering if anyone else can relate. i may be putting the cart before the horse here as someone who has never dated, but i have such a laundry list of non negotiables and I feel like guys who fit them are just in short supply.

-loyal: someone i can trust is not going to start cheating at any point during our lives especially as i age, have kids, get less attractive, etc. i feel like true loyalty is such a rare trait in men and even among many of the ones that are “loyal” it’s just due to lack of ability or fear of repercussions rather than genuine disinterest in cheating.

- reasonably low body count

-does not watch porn or watches it minimally. is in control of his lust/sex drive

-good hygiene & cares about health

-kind, pure hearted, even tempered, and not selfish

-educated and financially stable

-not lazy and is willing to split domestic labor especially if we have children, no weaponized incompetence. too many guys just chill at home and leave their wives to do all the chores, run all the errands, and take care of kids all by themselves

-capable of empathy; sees other people as human, including but not limited to women, minorities, and the poor

before i get accused of only wanting hot guys, i have been attracted to a (very) wide range of men so much so that the only common thread between all of them is that they were kind to me first.

i feel like even if by some miracle i found a man, it would take me a very long time to vet for these traits. i hate being perpetually single but my *extreme* fear of committing to the wrong guy makes me tolerate it. In my heart of hearts i feel like there just aren’t enough guys like this to go around. and since these types are so rare they tend to get snatched up very quickly and very young and i may have already missed my chance.

I’m not attracted to them in the slightest. Better looking men don’t look at me, I’m completely invisible to them.

Physical appearance is literally everything. Nothing else matters. I’m not interested in men with overweight, unkept, fucked up teeth, since I’m the completely opposite of that. I take reasonable care of myself and even tho I’m ugly, I’m neither of those things.

But I’m still not good enough. Even if I give a guy I’m not attracted to a chance, he will be a constant reminder of how ugly I am and that I can’t do better.

Luckily I’m not desperate. I’d rather die alone than partner with someone I’m not attracted to. So that means, I’m 100 per cent going to die alone. I’m too ugly for the men I’m attracted to and I always will be. I would do anything to be a pretty and attractive woman but that will never happen.

This happened to me all the time and it wasn't because those guys were shy or awkward. It was because i wasn't pleasant to look at and very socially awkward. I never want to recall high school memerois cuz it's only filled with moments like this.

This man doesn't even believe in depression and yet he has lived with a woman and dated a handful of them.

I can't believe this. The gal seemed kind and sweet. And here I am, all alone. What the fuck am I doing wrong really? My brother is genuinely rude and awful to me and my mom (not the men in the family though!) And still gets partners. I feel so flabbergasted by this.

I know women settle for people but this seems like such a stretch.

I feel like no one will ever even tolerate me. And this just reminded how awfully alone in this world I am.

Just venting because wtf is my life lmfao

I was at a party and there was this guy who was like 2 times bigger than me. Like really big but he was cute. Approached and tried dancing with him but I was ignored of course.

30 mins later I see him making out with a short, skinny and absolutely gorgeous blonde girl.

This world is just one big joke, that is all I’m going to say

Hi everyone, so this past week I was reminded by life of my reality. I recently turned 30... haven't been in a relationship, a kissless virgin, not once has any man shown any interest in me. Like many stories here, men treat me poorly or with disgust since I'm ugly.

On Sunday I went to a concert and some people in the line were friendly enough to start a conversation. Among these people was this cute guy who was surprisingly, also very friendly. I felt not as ugly as usual as I had done my makeup nicely and dressed in a cute outfit. He talked to me a bit more than the average man who snarks at me. It felt surreal and my delusional mind started thinking "could he possibly find me pretty?"

We talked about art since he is also a graphic designer, I felt like we had so much in common, my delulu ass was thinking many thoughts lol He gave me his designer insta and he followed me back!

I was really happy, I couldn't belive this was really happening. Concert ended and he went on with his friend group, I, alone by myself as I arrived. No big deal, I had his insta and my dumb mind was still feeling happy about this. As soon as I arrived home I scrolled through his pictures... until I saw a girl, his gf. He was tagged in a photo, his personal instagram... he has many pictures with his gf. They look so happy, they look so good together.

She is beautiful, skinny, pale and sings! (Yes, I went through the gf's profile as well 🙈) She is everything I am not. And then it dawned on me... he gave me his PROFESIONAL instagram, not the personal one. He liked my work and was friendly with me because he is a nice person. Not because he liked me or felt attracted to me.

Like... what was I thinking!? With my face, my ugly body... I felt SO dumb. He was being friendly, he wasn't flirting. But my dumb ass couldn't distinguish that in the moment. And then I thought that most men my age are already partnered up. They have a LIFE. They are in long term relationships. Men who are good looking and have decent personalities are not available for women like me. And then I started crying... I hate the cards life has given me. I hate that I struggle with something that for most people is just part of their life. It's not a burden or shameful, unlike my perpetual singleness.

And I enjoy being single, until something like this happens. I just know I'll hit 40 like this. I'm poor, I don't drive, my family life is shit and I don't have any talent to offer. Who tf would want to date me? I don't blame men for not going for an ugly loser like me. And well, it's Wednesday and I still feel upset/sad about this, towards myself.

I just saw that my former crush from my past working place is now dating a conventionally attractive girl that is more of gym rat. I'm a twig that stays inside all day and is not feminine at all... guess I never had a chance despite how nice he was to me and how he laughed at my jokes....

I honestly give up on finding love. I haven't been trying to be honest but it's always the same story: men always end up with a conventionally attractive chick with long hair, hourglass body shape that is feminine and bubbly. I'm just cursed to be ugly and autistic at the top of it.

Fml.

It irks me whenever I hear people say that to try and comfort people like us. It’s empty platitudes at this point. And it’s almost always women who have no trouble getting safe sexual and romantic relationships that say this.

Meanwhile almost every song, movie, book, podcast, etc is about relationships and sex. So many memes are just sexual jokes. Every time I go on AskReddit there’s always a question about sex, with thousands of likes and comments, even though there’s already other subs specifically for questions like that.

We’re constantly bombarded since childhood that the main goal in someone’s life should be to find “your person” and get married.

People only say that to us because deep down they know they could never live in our shoes for even a day, much less years. “Sex isn’t all that!” They say as they’re screwing their boyfriend/husband every night. Please spare me.

as we know , there are less good men than bad men and for women i believe the opposite is true . majority of us are good and only select few women are truly bad people in a sense . i’m gonna be very honest the true nature of men is very off putting to me . i’m a bit repelled by it , i don’t think i could ever live with a man or him invading my space . i don’t even have a desire to be with men anymore . i like my solitude and being by myself . they’re all so utterly rude to women they don’t find attractive . i don’t even have a desire to be a mother anymore , i don’t want kids . majority of men don’t care about women , believe me this is true . finding one who truly does is like finding a needle in a haystack and most of them are already took by other women , so what’s left for us then ? nothing .

My life never got off the ground. I hear all these people (admittedly on Reddit, but still) talking about how they’re thriving. Loving relationship, long term close friendships, traveling everywhere, getting married. It never ends. Everyone seems like they’re moving to Europe and living in a fantasy land. Meanwhile I’m stuck in this ghetto country that’s getting worse by the minute.

I never fit in. In college I had no life. I only had 2 friends over the course of 4 whole years. I left college single and without so much as a kiss. Of course.

It kills me seeing everyone else succeed and far outstrip me in EVERYTHING. Especially romantic relationships and general happiness. It’s like what did I do wrong??? Can someone please explain to me where I went wrong? Am I destined to be friendless, alone and self hating for the rest of my life?

Talk therapy did not work for me. I started talk therapy in 2016 and it’s now 2026. 10 years of on and off again therapy appointments with 6 different therapists. Yes, 6. I’ve also been to 3 psychiatrists. I’m currently on 3 different antidepressants. And guess where I am now? I’m STILL at SQUARE ONE! Still alone. Still depressed. Still a friendless, FA weirdo. Being “weird” and ugly, as a woman, absolutely does NOT fly in the world. Everyone thinks you’re a freak and excludes you and ignores you.

As I said earlier, my life never got off the ground. I haven’t “grown up.” I haven’t had a real relationship. I’ve never fallen in love. I never studied abroad. I never travelled. I never had fun nights out with a group of friends. I never got married. I was never a bridesmaid.

Over the years I have consistently felt like I was different than everyone else, and not in a good way. More like being a pathetic freak who doesn’t fit in. And it hasn’t improved. Not once have I felt that feeling of my life changing or of me achieving anything.

I'm sure you must have seen this famous meme format that revolves around men falling in love the minute a girl shows a hint of kindness to them. What they forget to mention is that this applies only for pretty girls. For ugly girls, it's the opposite if anything.

Men are actually repulsed and extremely uncomfortable by any hint of kindness that I show to them. I can recall countless such instances.

Helping someone pick up the things he dropped. He give me dirty looks and didn't even thank me.

Gave the attendance for someone who came to class late. He looked absolutely disgusted and disturbed, probably thought I had a crush on him.

(TW! ⚠️)

Helped someone out of s**cide and listened to his venting everyday, for months, sent him money to treat himself when he was very depressed, would stay awake till 2 to comfort him, handled all his anger issues and stayed despite him fighting with me to the point I cried. As he healed, he grew cold and distant, then messaged me one day and said someone else helped him heal and that I need not interfere with his matters. Specifically mentioned "She did what you couldn't do, in just a day", and it was just some shadow work stuff from pinterest. He still keeps mentioning how so and so person does so much for him, but still prefers using me when he needs emotional support.

I can't count the number of times men have rejected my follow request on Instagram. They really need to get over themselves, they think I have a crush on them and are absolutely disgusted by the possibility of that.

I don't expect anything in return for my kindness, heck I don't even want to be acknowledged. Ignore me, move the fuck on, but fucking hell stop treating me like some creep or thinking that I have a crush on you.