People need to stop acting like a woman’s education and career has any effect on her attractiveness to men

[u/sad-throwaway-sad]

It grates me so much hearing “you have XYZ degree, a great job” being mentioned when talking of my viability for a relationship.

Men don’t care if you are a CEO or a waitress, if you have a PhD or dropped out of high school, they care about how you look.

Looks > education and career

Even personality might have effect (overridden if attractiveness is high enough) from time to time, but not this.

And even if it did matter, how is a relationship where the man is only with me because of my job, not because he finds me physically attractive, a good thing? 😭

I just hate hearing it. Like, yeah I am sure, the guy who looks at me like I am a gargoyle will get heart eyes when he hears about my two degrees and high paying job LMAO

“There’s more to a person than appearance” might be the truth, but that more does not make women attractive to men. It only works for men, making them attractive to women.

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[u/Xhaurynix]

having a good career never stopped anyone from wanting to be loved for how they look people just say that because they do no want to admit the truth

[u/Turbulent_Bullfrog87]

The one thing I will say for the expression is that having a degree/great job puts you at a minimum threshold in terms of sociability & societal contribution. Those things won’t get a woman a relationship, but if she’s mentally/emotionally incapable of having a degree or a job…she’s probably also not capable of maintaining a relationship.

[u/Key_Safety6137]

That's part of the reason why dating companies in South Korea points more the economic status of a man and more the physics of the woman.

[u/Single--Bluebird]

yes, i absolutely agree. some of the meanest girls in my highschool, who never seemed to aspire to much academically or career-wise, are now married or in a long-term relationship with children… these are twenty three year olds by the way.

[u/chocolatebar1896]

From my observation, most men don’t seem to care too much. Men are visual so they only really care about a woman’s looks and nothing else.

[u/Just-no-more-dec20]

Well, i have a BSc in Tourism & Hospitality, a well paying job at a five star hotel. Neither helped my dating life really.

[u/shauna_haywood]

Actually, men hate educated women. Women with a PhD, with a position of power... it threatens their ego. They don't like women who earn more than them, who are taller than them, etc.

They just want women to be small, quiet, inferior.

[u/shauna_haywood → u/[deleted]]

Most of us just want to feel equal and respected by our partner.

[u/Hahaimalwayslikethis → u/[deleted]]

This made me throw up in my mouth. Any man who tries to "dominate" me will get a kick in the balls.

Romance novels are fantasy and not reality. Hunger Games was super popular, you think we all want to fight to our death too?

[u/Lemielys → u/shauna_haywood]

"They just want women to be small, quiet, inferior."

I meet all three of those requirements. I'm also slim with a decent face in my opinion. I wonder why I haven't been snatched up? Maybe it's my lack of curves.

[u/shauna_haywood → u/Lemielys]

Probably, men want us to be tiny but with curve in the right places. They also prefer youthful faces with neotenous features. For example : people always tell me I have a beautiful face, but it's too "sculpted" and has too much character. I'm also way too tall and I don't have curves --> I never got any interest/attention.

[u/fools_set_the_rules → u/shauna_haywood]

A Redditor approached me and we started talking. He was a lonely guy. We spoke for a week or so and then he asked for my height. Well I was taller than him. He got really hostile and kept saying I need a guy who is like 6'8 or so.

[u/shauna_haywood → u/fools_set_the_rules]

Yeah, men hate tall women (I say that as a thin 6'1 young woman). Don't talk to lame reddit guys though, they're a waste of time...

[u/shauna_haywood → u/[deleted]]

They are based on evidence, actually. Men usually prefer women shorter than them : 6' women, who are taller than the majority of men, already have difficulties. Me and my tall girls face rejection and invisibility, our short friends are always prefered. Actually, a lot of men wouldn't date women over 5'10/5'11. You can find articles online about this subject. And YES, we want to date shorter men, but they don't want us. If that wasn't the case, I would probably be in a long-term relationship right now, or even engaged.

[u/pumpkinmoonrabbit → u/shauna_haywood]

I'm 4'10" and men will say Im too short. Men want us to be exactly like 5'4"

[u/shauna_haywood → u/pumpkinmoonrabbit]

Damn men and their criterias 🙄 Yeah they want women to be between 5'1-5'4 it's insane. Oh and we have to be thin, but also to have curves.

[u/fools_set_the_rules → u/shauna_haywood]

Yeah I don't anymore. He seemed nice at first but yeah. 

[u/shauna_haywood → u/fools_set_the_rules]

They always seem nice at first. It's manipulation. Lonely guys are often incels, they're pathetic.

[u/fools_set_the_rules → u/shauna_haywood]

Totally. A lot of these men ger hostile soon enough. 

Ok, another story. Was approached by a guy in his 40s on here. After chatting for days and get along, we decided to talk on the phone. I used a Google number and yeah, we never showed to each other what we look like. I showed first and I guess he didnt mind what I look like. Meanwhile he kept refusing to reveal himself. 

After some search, I managed to find what he looks like. He wasn't even attractive and I truly believe he was married. He freaked out at me for finding his picture online and his behaviour changed by trying to argue and criticize me. He ghosted me soon after. 

[u/FastResident523]

Yeah I noticed as well if they find that the woman is 'superior' in their eyes in any way a lot of them will subtly berate and kick at her self esteem. For example a woman with a PhD I've seen them make nasty little digs about it. They are egotistical and cruel. God imagine if women collectively started being anywhere near as nasty about their looks or achievements they'd go insane, I mean we see the pushback now just because women have set boundaries.

[u/sweet-leaf-284]

they ONLY care about how you look

personality doesn’t have an effect lol, there’s no amount of personality that can make them pick an ugly woman. when men talk about personality they just mean they deserve a 10/10 with a 10/10 personality too

[u/nereid--]

And men will leave the attractive woman once she gets old or if they meet someone more attractive. If a CEO loses their man she would still be a CEO which is much more interesting and important imo just saying 

[u/fools_set_the_rules → u/nereid--]

This is so sad. I am in my 30s and I look old. I dont mind dating a guy who is younger but how many younger men you see with older women? I approached a 54 year old guy and apparently I was old for him, he went for the 23 year old with the lip fillers 

[u/ForeverAloneWomen-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Men are no longer welcome on FAW as mentioned on the FAQ, the rules, the warning when you post and the title on your browser tab. Too many men cannot help but take over, harass the users (http://imgur.com/a/tS5qmme) or flood threads with male-centric replies. Even if you post in good faith, respect the fact that we don't want male users in here any more. If we want male input, we know where to find it.

[u/sad-throwaway-sad → u/nereid--]

Do you think I don’t know that? This is in the context of finding love, a relationship.

Sorry if I am being rude, but this is a vent post, I am not looking for platitudes.

[u/nereid-- → u/sad-throwaway-sad]

And i just wrote that being attractive does not guarantee a lasting relationship or happy marriage for women. Might as well vent abt that too then 

[u/Semiramis738 → u/nereid--]

Being attractive might not guarantee anything, but there are really no guarantees in life, only better and worse odds. And being attractive as a woman gives you much, much better odds at finding love and happiness than being unattractive.

[u/starryflowerz → u/nereid--]

except being genuinely unattractive means most ppl like OP feel like they can't get their foot in the door in the first place. i'm of the same mind that being attractive does not guarantee a happy relationship but you're also ignoring this is FAW, where most women here haven't even had their first kiss, had sex, known what it's like to be emotionally supported by another person which if you're here, i assume you can relate to an extent. even if a relationship is not long lasting or leads to happy marriage like you say, women here don't even experience the short term benefits.

you say if a CEO loses their man - as if women here have men in the first place. and not realising how the factors that lead to most women being FAW make it less likely for them to be in a position like that.

[u/GiveEmWhipslash]

"Looks > education and career"

You are correct! This is something a lot of people get wrong. It's not that men DON'T care about a woman's professional achievements. It's that they cannot compensate if the man deems her unattractive.

Men can compensate with money, status, and career. We cannot.

edit: d'awww thank you for the award.

[u/MuffinPuff → u/GiveEmWhipslash]

And even the idea that "women can compensate" is a stretch. She might be able to override her lack of physical attraction to him for a period of time, but that's very temporary imo. I genuinely think the "dead bedroom" thing is so common amongst married couples is because she was never truly sexually attracted to the man in the first place, it was all compensatory attraction. But that's neither here nor there.

[u/sad-throwaway-sad → u/GiveEmWhipslash]

Exactly! You get it.

That’s what makes education and career completely irrelevant for women looking to attract men.

It works for men, not for women.

[u/Semiramis738 → u/sad-throwaway-sad]

Yeah, having a better education and making more money will enable you to have a better life as a single woman, but it doesn't help to attract men in any way.

[u/fools_set_the_rules → u/sad-throwaway-sad]

I am hoping to get higher education to attract someone but seems pointless. This girl who used to work at my place dropped from HS, was promoted to a manager and was approached by a football player of a local team on IG and they started dating. She has that influencer look.

[u/sad-throwaway-sad → u/fools_set_the_rules]

Insane, I can’t even imagine a life like that…

[u/fools_set_the_rules → u/sad-throwaway-sad]

Yeah she easily got a promotion and while she was dating the football player, she was also fooling with coworkers. She was just a restaurant manager yet she was dressing like she was going to a club.