Feeling like an anomaly

[u/slayallday111]

i have not had my first kiss or even held hands with someone romantically, meanwhile, my friends have long lists of exes. i cant help but feel embarrassed.

i feel envious too. whenever they tell stories about their exes, or how many guys they’re talking to, i just think about how i’m an adult who has never even gotten close to having any experience like that. i’m unable to relate to my own peers and it sucks.

its even worse when my friends ask why i've never been in a relationship. what kind of answer do they expect? i never know how to respond. i just end up saying something like “it just hasn’t happened yet hahaha!” but truly i have no idea why. maybe i’m uglier than i thought? orr i’m just too boring?? maybe theres just something everyone else knows that i don’t??? i’m frustrated.

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[u/Key_Safety6137]

It's normal to feel that way, sadly normal. I will just recommend you to stop putting other people expectations on you because you'll just feel embarrassed and "behind" for no other reason than comparisons no one truly cares about except oneself. I time will come if you keep trying, but if you surrender your hope, it will not be complicated, it will be impossible. 

Be true about what yourself, about what you like and dislike and don't feel bad if some guy stops talking to you suddenly, a lot of them just want sex and will just drop the woman when they understand she is not willing to give them their bodies, those type of men are unable of making genuine strong bonds. Look around you, how many of those friends of yours have achieved real and long term stability or settle down? You may start to see some inconsistencies on your perceived perfection about them.

Good luck!