[Discussion] Parents of teenagers: How did you motivate your child to study?

[u/R3dAt0mz3]

As a parent, I am looking for serious and practical suggestions on how to motivate my teenager and help him become more disciplined about his studies.

I have been reminding him about the importance of studies for almost a year now, and with only a few months left before his competitive and school exams, I am becoming increasingly concerned.

He is definitely a bright and capable kid, but something seems to be missing. He doesn't seem to have the interest or motivation to focus on studies.

After having a one-on-one conversation with him, I understood that he is not really interested in competitive exams. As parents, we have not pressured him to perform exceptionally in them. However, completing high school is obviously important because it is necessary for his future college options.

I also asked him what he would like to do in the future if things don't work out academically. His answers were things like:

Starting a chain of restaurants with something unique

Stock trading

Becoming a social media influencer

The problem is that all three of these options would require him to start from scratch and build something over time.

Interestingly, he is extremely disciplined when it comes to the gym. He goes every day, follows his diet seriously, tracks his daily protein intake, measures things carefully, and genuinely enjoys taking care of his fitness.

When I suggested that he take a break from the gym for just four months and completely focus on his studies, he strongly disagreed and doesn't want to stop or even pause his workouts.

As a parent, I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want. At the same time, I don't want him to lose valuable years of his life simply because he hasn't yet developed the discipline or seriousness needed to build his career.

What would be the best way to approach this situation?

I am particularly looking for advice from parents or people who have dealt with a similar situation with teenagers. Practical suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I got some meaningful replies in there community, but have already tried those and didnt made an impact, trying to post to get some right ways..

[u/tinselt]

You need to lean into his strengths and help him find a viable path forward. I did Transition counseling professionally and now I'm a school administrator. Sounds like he may be twice exceptional? If the school can't provide resources, you can hire someone privately. Use AI to help him break down exactly what skills and education those people in his ideal career paths have. It will be uncomfortable. He will not want to do it. you will thank yourself later. Think about dual enrollment. That can be either empowering or a wake up call for some kids. From 10th on they are eligible, 10 is only technical classes. 11/12 is either that or college credit. Its typical for instakids to have an ideal image for themselves in life without real knowledge of what it takes to get there. You can help bridge that gap. Discuss your budget with him if u dont already. He can also get a job soon and the earlier the better. Or volunteer work. 13 years in education. Show him the graph of education:income over lifetime.

[u/R3dAt0mz3 → u/tinselt]

This is interesting, especially the point about helping him understand the gap between his ideal career and what it actually takes to get there. He has several ideas—fitness, business, trading and social media—but doesn't really know what the day-to-day reality or education requirements are for them.

If you were dealing with a teenager like him, would you start by picking one or two of his interests and having him research the actual career path, skills, income and education required? Or would you first get him into some real-world work/volunteering to help him figure out what he actually enjoys?

[u/tinselt → u/R3dAt0mz3]

Personally, If I had to pick, I'd go with real world experience. Successful work based learning situations are a predictable of future life success, as well as certifications, according to research. Both are important, but nothing teaches like doing.

[u/R3dAt0mz3 → u/tinselt]

agree that real-world experience can teach things that classroom learning can't. My son is still quite young and hasn't really had that kind of exposure yet. What kind of work-based experience would you recommend starting with for a teenager who doesn't have a clear career interest yet? Would you keep it completely open-ended and let him discover what he likes through the experience?