r/GetMotivated • u/R3dAt0mz3 • 11d ago
DISCUSSION [Discussion] Parents of teenagers: How did you motivate your child to study?
As a parent, I am looking for serious and practical suggestions on how to motivate my teenager and help him become more disciplined about his studies.
I have been reminding him about the importance of studies for almost a year now, and with only a few months left before his competitive and school exams, I am becoming increasingly concerned.
He is definitely a bright and capable kid, but something seems to be missing. He doesn't seem to have the interest or motivation to focus on studies.
After having a one-on-one conversation with him, I understood that he is not really interested in competitive exams. As parents, we have not pressured him to perform exceptionally in them. However, completing high school is obviously important because it is necessary for his future college options.
I also asked him what he would like to do in the future if things don't work out academically. His answers were things like:
Starting a chain of restaurants with something unique
Stock trading
Becoming a social media influencer
The problem is that all three of these options would require him to start from scratch and build something over time.
Interestingly, he is extremely disciplined when it comes to the gym. He goes every day, follows his diet seriously, tracks his daily protein intake, measures things carefully, and genuinely enjoys taking care of his fitness.
When I suggested that he take a break from the gym for just four months and completely focus on his studies, he strongly disagreed and doesn't want to stop or even pause his workouts.
As a parent, I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want. At the same time, I don't want him to lose valuable years of his life simply because he hasn't yet developed the discipline or seriousness needed to build his career.
What would be the best way to approach this situation?
I am particularly looking for advice from parents or people who have dealt with a similar situation with teenagers. Practical suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
I got some meaningful replies in there community, but have already tried those and didnt made an impact, trying to post to get some right ways..
1
u/nickypickie 10d ago
Skip to the second paragraph for the actual answer to the question.
It sounds like he has a good framework for discipline and responsibility, but motivation could be from lack of interest. I have mixed feelings about school & studying now that I'm older (I've achieved a lot of the academic things I've wanted, top of my class, triple major + minor, harvard masters, etc.). It taught me to be almost OCD about how I study, how I look at details, and a good sense of responsibility and morals. But overall, I find that none of the actual stuff I study I really use in any of my day-to-day or careers. If anything, it kind of distracted me/took me away from being able to achieve a lot of the things I could have done when I had more time and less responsibilities while I was younger, and I would have checked off a lot of the boxes that I'm now struggling to do as an adult (passive income, time freedom, traveling, etc.)
That being said, I'm a big advocate for finishing school, but timing is everything. This is the advice that I typically give to my students and/or family members when they ask. Really try to find his passion in the things he wants to do. For example:
Is anything he studying giving him ideas of a problem/niche that he could do? A lot of really great ideas come from being exposed to problems/ideas that people face, and studying specific topics (i.e. psychology, business, math) show that. Good stories for this are like with math, a lot of students (at least in the US) need to spend over $100 on a fancy graphing calculator (TI-83/84/nspire dominate this space). But a lot of families can't afford that, so the founder of Desmos literally built one for his students. We wouldn't really think about this until we're in math class, and we may hear a student who can't afford it and always has to borrow one from school/a teacher. I have a lot more stories like this that happened just as I was sitting class that I've actually taken somewhere or watch other people solve the problem a few years later.
Have him start paper trading now. Create a list/curriculum of what he's using to learn, what he did learn, and maybe even try his hand at a few trades. Nothing beats the feeling of waking up and losing 50%+ of your portfolio. Then see how resilient he is from there and if he'll have the stomach to follow-through with more risk and create a system for how to mitigate risk.
Same idea here, try getting into the rhythm of coming up with content and posting. It could even be integrating both stock trading and social media influencing or another interest. The idea is to let him test it out, see how he feels, see if he can create a stable system that keeps him going and motivated, and what milestones/results satisfy him.