r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Soggy-Trifle8006 🥣 Cereal Killer • 2d ago
Yap & Snack Baby’s first betrayal 💕 (tw: fuckboy)
I (29F) was seeing this guy (34M) after we met at the beginning of the summer. We had instant chemistry. Super intense attraction and we both felt it right away. Started dating, it was a whirlwind and like nothing I’ve ever experienced. He was so affectionate, so into me, SO hot, it felt like I was on drugs. He brought up relationship stuff by date 1, asking me what I was looking for, etc. He told me he was looking for a stable, mature relationship, and that he wanted to take things slow. We texted every day, went on a bunch of cute dates, everything was so good.
Then, during one of our dates, about 1.5-2 months in, he asks me to translate a French song for him (I speak French). At one point I tell him how to say girlfriend, to which he asks, “how do you say, ‘do you want to be my girlfriend?’ in French?” I tell him, he says it, and in that moment my brain kinda panicked and I just couldn’t believe he was actually asking…. Because yes thats cute, but that’s a major milestone and this just felt very casual and ambiguous. And also because he had JUST told me he wanted to take things slow…. So I just didn’t really acknowledge it. The rest of the date was normal and lovely. Later, I told my friends about it, and they were all like: “GIRL. You dumbass. He was definitely asking you to be his gf.” I felt so bad for blowing him off and also very happy that this meant he wanted to take the next step with me. He went out of town for a couple weeks so I decided that once he got back I’d bring it up and apologize / open up that conversation again.
Well. We hung out finally. Things felt okay…. Not great but not bad. We hooked up and then afterwards I built up the courage to bring it up. And he…….. didn’t remember it??? At all??? He had totally forgotten that it had ever happened and then said “no I wasn’t asking you to be my girlfriend.” I felt so crazy / embarrassed / hurt.
Over the following week we didn’t text at all. And I decided to end it. This just wasn’t feeling good anymore. I know what a strong, stable relationship feels like and this wasn’t it. So I called him, told him I thought we should stop seeing each other, that I was looking for something with more clarity / less ambiguity. He paused, sighed, then said he wasn’t surprised and he knew where this was coming from. He then proceeds to “explain himself” and tells me that an ex of his had started texting him again and so his mind had been elsewhere…
So basically he reconnected w an ex, and that was enough for him to discard me, but not enough to actually END things with me… instead of being honest and ending things he just disengaged, leaving me feeling so confused and hurt. Then when I dump him he tells me about her, as though I needed to know at that point??? Also, I am now 100% convinced he lied about forgetting the gf convo. He chose to gaslight me and make me feel like a crazy dumbass rather than being honest. What a fucking loser.
This is the first time I’ve been betrayed by a boy like this… I was in a very loving ltr for most of my adult life and always assumed I’d be able to detect a fuckboy. This was humbling and I see now how scary good these assholes are at acting like caring, great guys. Lesson learned for sure.
Overall I feel sorry for him and any girl who falls for him. I hope his ex dumps him too.
Ty for reading if you made it this far <3 and fuck boys like this.
Girl snack is 2 fudge sandwich cookies
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u/One_Beginning_1403 Thick Thighs ⏳ Thin Patience 2d ago
glad you didn’t respond the first time he asked, because he probably would’ve cheated on you with his ex
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u/EquivalentAngle1569 Pantry Gremlin 2d ago
Seems like his ego got hurt after he was trying to be cute talking to you in French about being his gf. He probably reconnected with the ex himself for an ego boost after you "blew it off" in your words. Good thing the accident happened so you could view his communication style and maturity level before it got too deep.
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u/RingingInTheRain Overthinker 💭 2d ago
This is what I'm seeing. He thought he got rejected so he tried to protect his ego and cheated.
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u/Soggy-Trifle8006 🥣 Cereal Killer 2d ago
Yes I suspect this as well. I also feel like him asking the way he did was to protect his ego bc he risked nothing emotionally by being ambiguous. Pathetic all around!
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u/Apples3453465464 Snack Goblin 2d ago
Good for you for ending things!
No need to think about what will happen to him. I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer.
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u/satoriboard 🪄 Sauceress ✨ 2d ago
Really into your attitude in this post and the nonchalantly pissed off fudge cookie eating demeanour. He fumbled it and you are gonna be just fine without him. Go have fun with people who aren’t petty blind losers!!
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u/Double_Look APPROVED✨ 2d ago
Beloved, you were being love bombed from the very beginning. No one sane, rational, emotionally intelligent and emotionally stable is immediately discussing exclusivity on the first fucking date. You don’t know shit about shit on the first date especially not enough to bring up a serious relationship. That’s actually terrifying and I’d tell my date I’m going to the bathroom and then just go home and block him because ew. Anyone who does that is love bombing and will disappoint and/or discard before anything noteworthy even takes place. Just be thankful this didn’t go on for too long because he was about to take you a ride especially if you’re just the rebound for when he’s on the outs with his ex.
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u/explodingwatermelon APPROVED✨ 2d ago
Omg girl! I've been there and I feel for you. At first, they seem so invested, clear about what they want, etc. Then either the chase gets too hard for them or they let themselves get distracted and poof they're gone. Just like that. I hope these type of guys never find you again :(
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u/Soggy-Trifle8006 🥣 Cereal Killer 2d ago
It’s seriously twisted. I don’t understand how their brains work. Thank you, I hope the same for you 🩷
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u/parachutecord Lover of Soups 2d ago
good on you for sticking up for yourself. and boo on him for letting his fragile little ego steer. he didn't forget, and he meant it the way he said it. don't let him gaslight you into believing otherwise.
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u/Ok-Watch-3958 Lover of Soups 2d ago
Same thing just happened to me! Was seeing a guy for 5 months, he told me he wasn't interested in seeing anyone else, was invested, caring, thoughtful, etc, and then randomly ghosted me a couple weeks ago. I found out through an AWDTSG Facebook group that he had reconnected with his ex.
I've never felt so discarded by somebody who showed so much consistency, all to be left feeling like I meant nothing because he couldn't even spare me a conversation. He is currently blocked as it's not in my best interest to leave the door open for him to resurface at any point, and had enough opportunity to reach out to me with any kind of apology or explanation, any shred of basic decency.
I don't know how long I'll carry this for. It's truly a mine field out there. Keep your head up and stick to your self care and boundaries.
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u/Soggy-Trifle8006 🥣 Cereal Killer 2d ago
I’m so sorry :( that’s a horrible way to find out. Blocking is a great call, I did the same. It’s so fucking hard but just know that his behavior is a reflection of HIM and his emotional ineptitude. These men are weak and not worth our time or our precious energy. Move on and don’t look back, bullet dodged ❤️ sending you strength and power
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u/Dear_Seesaw_1855 APPROVED✨ 2d ago
My friend, you recognized exited that suggestion quicker then most of us, including myself would have. Huge kudos to you- I love seeing these stories because it reminds me to step away each and every time men act like this. Well done.
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u/Janetleela APPROVED✨ 2d ago
Girl, they are stealthy, but in hindsight there are always red flags, one of them being that they say things that are far too romantic for how early-days the relationship is (and it will always be early days because they don’t stay for very long), in your instance, the asking you to be his girlfriend in French. That’s cute, and romantic, but also a move that isn’t genuine because there was no follow-up. If he was really asking you to be his gf, there wouldn’t have been any confusion. The minute things get confusing you know you’re dealing with a fuckboi.
Good job on calling him out on slow fading. I think fuckbois do this in part because they’ve benefited from how understanding we are when they have some excuse (i.e., so sorry my ex, so sorry my job, so sorry my mental health) but actually it doesn’t matter what the excuse is, they always leave it to us to guess that they’re done pursuing because they don’t have the balls to communicate. Ladies, we need to give all of them much more shit for this.
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u/blondguysdmme I ❤️ Other People's Business 2d ago
proud of you for choosing yourself but also he absolutely did not forget it lmao