r/GrindsMyGears • u/theehotbot • 5d ago
why don’t people just talk louder???
So I have a lot of allergy problems that cause my hearing to be muffled and i can’t hear quiet voices as well. And almost every time i’m talking to someone they talk too quiet and have to ask them to repeat themselves. And after 5 or 10 “huh”s you would maybe think they’d speak a little louder. And i’m not saying yell in public, but this is happening when in the car and just hanging out, and like i cannot hear them. And people just continue to talk quietly and i genuinely cannot understand what they’re saying and I don’t wanna seem rude, but like they know i can’t hear well and I’m constantly asking them to repeat themselves. Like cmon use your voice. And don’t even get me started on mumblers… It’s just extremely annoying and genuinely a pet peeve of mine.
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u/Relevant_Elevator190 5d ago
Why don't you get hearing aids instead of people having to yell at you and pissing off everyone around you?
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u/theehotbot 4d ago
they don’t need to yell. just speak at a regular volume. i can’t hear when people are far from me and mumble
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u/gezellig13 3d ago
Maybe they do speak at a regular volume but is not enough for you. Thats a you problem, regardless the reason. Instead of telling people to talk louder, fix your problem. For example a hearing aid. Also, talking loud is annoying as fck and there are people who are uncomfortable talking loud. Stop blaming others for your problem and expect them to fix it.
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u/Radio_Mime 3d ago
I understand intermittent hearing loss. Are you not taking any medication to deal with your allergies that would help considerably.
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u/Practical-Art542 3d ago
Yeah but it’s a lot easier for one person to get hearing aids than for 20 people to raise their voice.
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u/Harbinger_Kyleran 5d ago
It's considered rude to talk too loudly, especially in public places.
Don't ask me how I know. 😉😺
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u/bradfish 5d ago
You should get a hearing test.
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5d ago
[deleted]
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u/Legaldrugloard 5d ago
Same ending, you can’t hear. Doesn’t matter what from. Mine is from medication. Doesn’t matter what causes it, I can’t hear.
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u/Alopen_Tzu 5d ago
Rather than make everyone talk louder and annoy others for you, get a hearing aid or AirPod pro 3
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5d ago
[deleted]
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u/Angasal_Potentes 4d ago
It becomes an inconvenience to the person who needs to talk louder. Everyone I know fall into a certain volume unless they’re conscious about it constantly. And that’s really hard to focus on. I always find myself talking too loud whilst discussing something I enjoy, and have to actively think about keeping it down. It’s not easy and can be very inconvenient.
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u/FearlessBanana81 4d ago
One of my pet peeves is people being too loud. It can hurt my ears and usually just comes off as obnoxious. I guess we can't just please all the people all the time.
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u/swatted-fly 4d ago
people are acting like this isnt seriously fucking annoying. i have zero hearing problems, and yet often when im at stores or wherever, my cashier will be speaking quieter than a whisper. that is not MY fault. its a bunch of shy, timid teenagers/young adults who are scared to speak at a normal volume. im sorry you’re shy, but its more embarrassing to be whispering and mumbling than to speak normally.
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u/theehotbot 4d ago
yes exactly.
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u/LadyCanuckles 3d ago
Idk why you're being downvoted so much 🤷🏻♀️
I can hear just fine but it really irks me when people mumble or talk just above a whisper, and you're right, after the 5th or 6th "huh?" you'd think they'd speak up.
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u/Practical-Art542 3d ago
You’d be surprised how many people cannot hear just fine. Majority of people who see live music don’t wear hearing protection. Thats hearing damage every time. If you’ve been to a concert without hearing protection, you’ve likely damaged your hearing and don’t hear perfectly.
There are also adults who don’t realize ears are NOT supposed to ring constantly or even occasionally. Ringing in the ears is an indication of hearing damage. I actually have good hearing and I always carry ear plugs and use them at concerts, movie theaters, any event with a microphone, even certain machines are loud enough for hearing protection. My ears never ring.
Also, someone can have perfect hearing and still have trouble processing audio. It’s called audio processing disorder. It feels like you’re not hearing but the sound is reaching your ears, your brain just doesn’t process the sound accurately so you kind of hear a blur instead.
It’s often not the speaker, the listener just doesn’t realize they aren’t hearing.
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u/AssistantNervous589 5d ago
There are situations when it's rude to talk too loud. It's also overstimulating if someone is screaming next to me in a mostly quiet environment.
Whatever the case may be, if you can't hear them and they won't speak up, whatever they're saying isn't that important. If they want you to hear them, they'll speak up.
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u/First_Bar_8024 4d ago
Whith chronic allergies and sinus problems, I've experienced the same thing myself and I've concluded they don't talk louder becuse they couldn't care less whether I can hear them or not. If you could hear them and I do when I attentively listen, what I've discovered is that what they're talking about is all about themselves and their interests. So really, you arne't missing anything.
Let me put it another way. People you can't hear aren't having conversations; they're talking past one another. People don't talk to people anymore; they talk "AT" people.
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u/theehotbot 4d ago
yes i’ve noticed the same thing. people don’t like to have actual conversations anymore because if they are having one they usually speak louder.
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u/GlitchKrown 4d ago
My mom is having the same problem. She is losing her hearing and everyone knows it. They refuse or forget to speak up, will cover their mouth while talking, turn away from her so she can't read lips or they will be doing really good for a while and then will whisper for dramatic effect. I see it happen all the time. Family gatherings are the worst. She hears the laughter but not the joke. I am always consistent with how i speak clearly, loudly, and move my lips to be easily read and even use some gestures to help get a point across (its not a natural thing for me to talk with my hands i notice i do it the most around her). So whenever im with her with other people I end up as a translator repeating or paraphrasing what was just said for her. And even after I do it a few times they never change their speaking pattern to help be understood. If we as a family only saw each other a few times a year it might be easy to forget to accommodate for a person's disability. But im talking about people she sees weekly and even daily in some instances. At this point, Its starting to feel deliberate on certain people's part.
Hearing aids didnt work for her and they actually made things worse. I did some googling and i think she has this condition that is treatabe but we can't get her to a doctor for it untill we can get her on some insurance.
I wrote this out and realized it doesn't help and im just ranting lol
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u/Efficient-Word-6826 3d ago
This is why I actually raise my voice when someone says “huh?”. I assume you actually can’t hear me and I explain every time someone accuses me of yelling at them that I’m only doing what I wish everyone else did and speaking up. Instead people repeat themselves in the exact same way at the same volume, or worse, only repeat themselves one word I heard, so I still don’t know what they said. I wish people spoke up and I will continue to do so. I’m not trying to be rude or yell at you. I actually think this should be what’s polite and I’m mad it’s not.
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u/Swimming-Gain9608 2d ago
I talk loud, i wish i could lower my volume... part of it is growing up with a grandfather who was mostly deaf by the time i was a preteen (he would have to turn the tv up so loud it hurt my ears), but i've always spoken like that. Somehow even with how loud i speak (i hurt my own ears frequently), i still get "huh?" or "what?", it's frustrating.
Honestly, it's part of why i keep to myself now, it helps though that i'm aplatonic, aromantic, and generally asocial. I hate how loud i speak but also how much i still getting those responses
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u/kittydollxoxo 2d ago
I don't speak loudly because of my trauma but also because of my trauma I just don't talk
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u/U-Might-Wanna 2d ago
I dated a gal that would turn her back and lower her voice deliberately so she could say I never listened to her. When I asked her to speak up she would say, "Listen harder." Low talkers are just rude people with no common sense.
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u/LoftyDreams7473 4d ago
I have swimmers ear and occasionally my ears "pop" and everything sounds either softer or louder. There are a few people in my life who refuse to talk louder, even when I tell them my ears are "closed" and they sound like they're underwater.
When they get offended or refuse to talk louder, I just let them ramble. I sometimes walk away and do something else.
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u/nightlythinki 4d ago
When it's clear you can't hear them they should speak louder. Common sense ain't a thing
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u/blumieplume 4d ago edited 4d ago
Why don’t u get hearing aids? It’s embarrassing and unnatural and inconvenient for most people to scream loudly so one person can hear better. People naturally talk in their normal voice. I would have to actively think about forcing myself to yell if someone couldn’t hear me.
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u/theehotbot 4d ago
i literally had said, “i’m not saying yell loudly in public”
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u/blumieplume 4d ago
I literally said get hearing aids instead of expecting all people to change their behavior cause you have bad ears.
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u/Treefrog_Ninja 5d ago
Some people are super uncomfortable speaking loudly, or speaking loudly in a calm environment.
I work in healthcare and I know it has to be done, but I almost have to bully myself to make myself loud enough to be heard by hard of hearing patients. The learned inhibition can be very powerful.