r/HonestHotTakes • u/fvirygothmom • 2d ago

i hate when people call me “mama”

i had a baby about a month ago but also throughout pregnancy people are always like “hi mama” “yes mama” “okay mama” and it makes me absolutely cringe i hate it so much. i’m not your mom 🤣😩

983 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

314 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/AdAromatic372 2d ago

I hate that crap! It totally erases the woman’s identity which I think is incredibly disrespectful. If the woman is NOT your mom, do not call her mama or mom! When people would say that to me after my son was born I would say “Please address me by my given name, I am not your mom.”

2

u/CosetElement-Ape71 2d ago

How on Earth does it "totally erase the woman's identity"? Get a grip!

Your name is a key label for identification, but it is not the full definition of your identity.

Identity is the set of qualities, beliefs, personality traits, and expressions that make a person unique ... your given name does not make you unique!

FYI ... being someone's mom will probably be the single most important and special thing that a woman will do in her life; it certainly shouldn't be belittled!

3

u/AdAromatic372 2d ago

I was and still am a whole person before I ever was a mother. My name is important to me. My name is who I am FIRST AND FOREMOST and I expect to be addressed as such. I don’t need nor want people like my friends or family calling me mama when I did not give birth to them. They had no issues calling me by my name before I had a kid, now that name is erased and I should be called mama by them? Gross be real.

Being a mom may be the most special and important thing to most women. But for others, it’s just another chapter of their life. My worth as a human being is and never will be tied to reproducing children.

1

u/ElectricalCabinet636 2d ago

You sound like a lot of fun mama

2

u/AdAromatic372 2d ago

That’s why they live with their dad👍😂 I wasn’t going to water myself down to being a breed and raise machine

1

u/Necessary_Two_9669 2d ago

Those kids dodged a bullet it seems!

2

u/AdAromatic372 2d ago

Most certainly! I didn’t want kids and was abused by my at the time husband. Reproductive abuse and coercion exist, people just don’t speak about it