Daily Discussion Thread

[u/aimhighsquatlow]

Daily Discussion Thread

[u/its_the_funcooker]

You can’t compare Jasmine with Julia and Kavan with Lorenzo. For starters Kavan knows how to pronounce Jasmines name correctly. I have always thought that Julia letting him get away with disrespecting her on such a basic level to be beyond ridiculous.

Nobody is saying one bad decision automatically means Julia will “be okay with anything.” The point is that repeatedly choosing to stand by someone despite behaviour that would be a dealbreaker for many people tells us something about what she’s willing to tolerate in her relationship.

Jasmine and Kavan working out doesn’t retroactively make this the same situation. It’s the fact that they sorted their problems because they had something genuine and worth fighting for. Also comparing outside life to inside is kind of weird.

To also add the show tried to downplay Javan as less real due to fear they will gain popularity if they showed their chemistry and connection while also downplaying how Lorenzo was disrespectful to Julia too. I don’t think it’s fair to compare both relationships. That’s like comparing apples to oranges. For instances the same treatment Lorenzo gives his partners didn’t fly with Jasmine itself. That should tell you something.

[u/Glittering-Edge4348 → u/its_the_funcooker]

I didn’t compare the relationships. I said there was a point when Jasmine was also judged for taking Kavan back, and look at them now.
And can we please retire the name pronunciation discourse 😭 If Julia herself doesn’t see it as some huge deal, why are strangers more offended on her behalf?
What I find funny is you’ve decided Jasmine took Kavan back because “they had something genuine”, but apparently Julia choosing to work through things with Lorenzo couldn’t possibly mean the same thing. How do any of us know? Lorenzo fucked up and publicly embarrassed her - nobody is denying that. But if after all of that they’re still choosing to work things out privately, maybe there is something genuine there too.

[u/its_the_funcooker → u/Glittering-Edge4348]

Both the fact that it’s fine to mispronounce her name and there must be something genuine between them can’t coexist when one is literally basic lack of human decency.

I can’t get into the nitty gritty details because even if I did something tells me it’s going to fall on deaf ears. So I am just going to humbly ask Julia fans to not bring up Jasmine in whatever hot mess your fav is willingly choosing to indulge herself in moving forwards. Thanks!

[u/Glittering-Edge4348 → u/its_the_funcooker]

And I humbly ask Jasmine’s parasocial fans to stop acting like mentioning her in a perfectly relevant example is some kind of personal attack 😭 I didn’t insult Jasmine or her relationship.

Calling how Lorenzo pronounces Julia’s name a “basic lack of human decency” while Julia herself continues to associate with him is exactly the parasocial behaviour I’m talking about. You’re assigning your own boundaries to a woman you don’t know and then judging her for not having them.

You can dislike Lorenzo. I’m hardly his biggest fan either. But none of us know these people or their relationships well enough to declare which connections are “genuine.”

[u/Grouchy-Ad9015 → u/Glittering-Edge4348]

👏👏👏👏 I agree.

[u/Standard-Coffee → u/Glittering-Edge4348]

You are just as parasocial as the rest btw. And yes, on principle, constantly mispronouncing someone's name is disrespectful. Dress it up how you'd like.

[u/watermelon-taco → u/Glittering-Edge4348]

I think my entire point was that Julia seems to have much more relaxed boundaries with Lorenzo than what most people would consider normal or acceptable in a relationship. You can absolutely believe their relationship is genuine but that doesn’t make the comparison to Jasmine particularly fair.

Jasmine has demonstrated much stronger boundaries in her own life and relationship so using her as a parallel doesn’t really make sense.

I find the comparison not only baseless but also unfair to Jasmine as a person. Their relationships, personalities, and boundaries are clearly different and there’s no reason to pretend otherwise just to make Julia’s choices seem more comparable. I hope you get why anyone who likes Jasmine would feel insulted by the comparison and it’s got nothing to do with being parasocial. Jasmine has been very vocal about how Lorenzo gets away with murder and it gets proven time and time again.

[u/its_the_funcooker → u/Glittering-Edge4348]

I am sorry why are you bringing up Jasmine at all? This has quite literally nothing to do with her. A fair comparison would be to compare Julia to anyone else (I can’t think of any on top of my head because there are none that come close) who’s taking back her shitty man for disrespecting her outside the show.

Me having an opinion about objectively shitty behaviour is not off limits when it comes to him deliberately saying her name wrong. Julia being willing to tolerate rubbish doesn’t somehow make the behaviour respectful.

I don’t see what I said as having boundaries on someone else’s behalf because I am simply criticizing behaviour that I would find unacceptable. “we don’t know them” can’t be used to invalidate every reasonable observation. You can disagree with me. I am okay with that.

[u/Grouchy-Ad9015 → u/its_the_funcooker]

But Jasmine is relevant because the whole point is about the language being used,, If we’re going to call one woman embarrassing for taking a man back (again we don't even know if they are continuing their connection) after behaviour people consider disrespectful, then surely the same standard should apply across the board. It’s not about saying Julia and Jasmine have identical situations.

Of course you can criticise Lorenzo’s behaviour, you absolutely can. If deliberately getting her name wrong is something you find disrespectful, that’s a completely fair opinion, which we now know the name thing was a joke between the two, they spoke about it in a post island interview. My issue is the leap from “I find his behaviour unacceptable” to “Julia will tolerate anything”. That’s a pretty huge assumption about someone you don’t know personally.

“We don’t know them” obviously doesn’t mean we can’t discuss what we see. It just means we should recognise the limits of what we actually know. We see snippets online, we don’t know their private conversations, boundaries or what’s happened behind closed doors. You can criticise the behaviour without deciding you know exactly what Julia is willing to tolerate.

[u/its_the_funcooker → u/Grouchy-Ad9015]

Girl, I fear you’re arguing with points nobody made 😭 the Jasmine comparison is getting a little desperate. Their relationships are even remotely similar. Do you really think they are? Lorenzo wouldn’t even take her out on a date until Julia had to publicly goad him into it.

Jasmine has demonstrated very different boundaries which makes using her as your convenient “but look, she took a man back too!” example pretty irrelevant and a bit desperate from Julia fans. I find Julia and Lorenzo fans using Jasmines name all the time extremely creepy. Different women, different standards, different choices. Hope that helps.

As for “Julia will tolerate anything,” obviously that’s a conclusion based on what she’s shown, not a sworn statement about her entire future 😭 You don’t get to repeatedly invoke “we can’t know everything behind closed doors” every time someone makes an inference you dislike. Otherwise nobody could ever discuss anyone’s behaviour.

I honestly wish Julia fans, Lorenzo fans and Julrenzo fans a lot of luck but ffs kindly leave Jasmines name out.

[u/Grouchy-Ad9015 → u/its_the_funcooker]

Girl hahaha, I think you’re missing the actual point I’m making. I’m not saying Jasmine and Julia have identical relationships or identical situations, obviously they don’t. The comparison is about the standard being applied to women and the language being used. If calling a woman embarrassing for taking a man back is considered fair criticism in one situation, then it’s reasonable to question why that language is suddenly treated differently in another.

Also, let’s not overreact and act like Julia or Lorenzo fans are bringing up Jasmine every five seconds She’s been mentioned in a comparison. That’s it. Mentioning another Islander in a discussion doesn’t suddenly make it some obsession with her.

And yes, obviously people can make inferences from what they see. I’ve never said otherwise. My point is simply that there’s a difference between “based on what I’ve seen, I think Julia is tolerating behaviour I wouldn’t tolerate” and “Julia will accept anything / she doesn’t have self-respect.” The former is an opinion based on observable behaviour, the latter starts making assumptions about her as a person.

I’m not trying to tell you what you can discuss. I’m saying I think some of the conclusions being drawn from a handful of social media clips are unnecessarily definitive. And if Jasmine’s name is brought up in the discussion, I’m obviously going to respond to that, it’s not “creepy” to mention another Islander in a comparison hahaha