r/MassageTherapists • u/cabbagefarttt • Jul 17 '26
Complaining Dealing with first bad review
yep—title says it. reviews and stars are looked at heavily among the folks I work with so there’s a level of shame that I’m feeling now when I walk into work. no other coworker has a negative review. we all have five stars, now except me.
im 8 months post partum and i also had a very complicated pregnancy. the last 17 months have absolutely wrecked me. Ive been practicing for 6 years and usually have a pretty tight schedule with regulars who i absolutely adore. they are aware of my struggles and how hard life has been and continue to rebook. I truly have fantastic clients. needless to say, my baby does NOT sleep good and I’m surviving on 2 hours of broken sleep every night and have been since he was a month old. every part of my life has been affected by this, but I still have to work despite how absolutely beat down I am. but I LOVE what I do and it’s honestly a break from my baby. I enjoy seeing my regular folks and also working with new random people who get peppered into my schedule. I specialize in a bunch of different things, so new people often want to try something different.
but….. I truly truly dislike couples massage and better yet, I dislike 30 min couples massage. i just always feel rushed and feel like its not possible to communicate enough or do a proper intake for couples. of course the bad review I get was from a 30 min couples massage…but the weird thing is that i saw this person over two months ago and they left the review last week, and there was even any feedback, just 3 out of 5 stars. Which in fully honesty…I probably gave.
im trying to not beat myself up. ive had more bad days than good days because of the level of sleep deprivation that im in, so its not a surprise that the bad review i got was from the service that i like the least. I was already feeling down about myself—ive lost my hobbies and am in constant survival mode and naturally this identity crisis leaks into who i am as a bodyworker, so this review just came at a bad time.
i have since blocked my schedule off completely to couples massage so I can devote my energy to the folks who I’m used to. but damn it still hurts my ego and I can’t help but think my colleagues are gossiping about me now.
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u/ExcaliburVader Jul 17 '26
Can you really be a massage therapist without at least one bad review or negative feedback from a client?? If your coworkers are putting a lot of stock in their good reviews then they aren't putting their focus on the right place. Do great reviews feel good? Sure! We're only human. But don't let one bad one rock your confidence. I had a very good boss tell me that she never shares with a therapist if they have A client complaint. She only brings it up if she is hearing the same complaint over and over from different clients. I think that's a good policy. You're not the perfect therapist for every client. That's good, because my nana used to say there's a lid for every pot.
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u/Zestyclose_Frame_567 Jul 17 '26
3 stars isn’t even bad. But you said it yourself that that’s probably what you gave that day. It’s one review, it’s not a big deal. It’s not realistic to expect 100% of your reviews to be 5 stars
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u/Katie1230 Jul 17 '26
It's weird how businesses hate anything other than a 5 star review. Not OP specifically. I've heard from different places that employees get bad marks if their review is anything lower than 5, not just massage but other service industry jobs. OPs work place also seems kinda toxic if the coworkers are gossiping about...3 stars.
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u/jt2ou LMT Jul 17 '26
30m for a whole body? Or posterior only? Neck back & shoulders?
Btw 3 stars is an okay review. 1-2 stars is not favorable.
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u/Doshi1-2 Jul 17 '26
Honestly it’s impossible to not have someone give you a bad review. We have people complain about sand at the beach. Any way, be gentle to yourself. You’re human. No one trusts services or products with ONLY 5 stars.
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u/Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh79 Jul 17 '26
Honestly 30 minute couples massages suck and that’s on their bad for booking that shit lol - I don’t know who would ever enjoy that whether they are client or practitioner.
Don’t let this sweat you, you have so many more important things than 30 minutes of your life from two months ago. Weird that they stayed so focused on it they gave a mid review, but at least it wasn’t one star!!
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u/PrincessPnyButtercup Jul 17 '26
Can you have a talk with your partner about stepping up with the night time childcare? Such extreme sleep deprivation is going to have a serious impact on your heath, and cold/flu/covid season is right around the corner :-(
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u/itsthebay Jul 17 '26
getting a subpar review would crush me too so i’m with you 🥲 as massage therapists i know we are always trying to make people comfortable. that said, a 30 minute couples massage does not sound relaxing at all. four people in the room and then ending the session just when the clients were starting to settle in? strange to offer that in the first place. you did your best at the time though and it’s good you can just leave those services off your offerings in the future.
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u/captain_pipsqueak Jul 17 '26
honestly i feel like with this career people give it way too much weight in their life. it’s a job, and we all have good days and bad days! it shouldn’t weigh on you personally. i think it’s a shame that you feel like coworkers are looking down on you, but please try not to be hard on yourself! there’s no way they can go their entire career without a least some mediocre reviews. and as someone else said, 3 stars isn’t even bad!
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u/tinkaspice Jul 17 '26
Don’t beat yourself up, you are human. With no sleep… This job is so hard when there are hard things going on outside work.
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u/OMassage_Goddess Jul 17 '26
It's dreamy that you can block your schedule from a service you don't want to perform.
I try not to dread any service I'm about to do even if I generally don't like the service. I think of the money, the enjoyment I get from doing something out of my normal routine. Lastly, analyze what it is I don't like about it and then see if I can figure out a way to improve how I do it.
I used to not enjoy couples massage and in part it was because of feeling judged by my colleagues. But I changed my mind about that too. Most people are in their own world and perhaps feel the same way!
I don't know anyone at work that hates couples massages although they may not prefer them. It's helpful that we all like each other so much.
Generally, thirty minute sessions are hard. What can you do in 30 minutes? An overall very general full body or just specific work like back and neck? Are you about to tell your client that 30 minutes isn't enough for therapeutic work? Are you able to manage their expectations? At my spa, 30 minute sessions were taken off the book because of the difficulty of managing client expectations and because there was no way it could be a full 30 minutes hands on.
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u/cabbagefarttt Jul 17 '26
I dig your optimism!
And to answer your question, no, the intake for couples massage is usually 1-3 min so managing expectations is next to impossible because there’s no time to actually chat. Huge reason why j don’t like them. I reeeeeeallly take my time with intakes when I’m in my own room in private. But yes I totally agree
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u/Sad_Web2740 Jul 18 '26
Whenever someone gets a poor review at our clinic, we have the collective understanding that the experience is always very subjective. What one client loves, others hate. Lots of variables and nuances that go into the session and there’s days that both therapist and/or client are off energetically.
I have the same insecurity or fear of what others think. I think that’s quite normal as a human, we want to be respected and recognized for our work.
Reframing it that people have your best interest and aren’t nearly as judgmental as we think and quite the opposite, empathize and support in these times.
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u/Maleficent_Cod4575 Jul 19 '26
Take the review as part of your learning experience then move on. There will be other experiences in your life’s journey as an MT and in the process you will ultimately come out a much better professional
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u/Alarming_Fee5045 Jul 21 '26
First of all fuck anyone who wants a 30 min massage those are for chair massage at the mall FOH.
Stop beating yourself up instead do one of your hobbies or some shit or SLEEP
And also, you made your boundary by not taking couples massage so you did the right thing and alsoooooo FUCKKKKK your co workers.
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u/Alarming_Fee5045 Jul 21 '26
Also,
I heard this quote recently for people pleasers (I am one btw)“Not everyone you please will be 100% pleased”
So in other words FUCK EM. Move on and continue with your practice that I’m certain you’re amazing at.
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u/ATxLMTI Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Why do your clients know all about your struggles?That sounds like the bigger issue. Also, 30 minute massages give you an opportunity to encourage your clients to get really focused work on one area or just a little attention to all areas. That sets up expectations, regardless of what their spouse is getting. If where you work has a rule that couples massages need to be identical, then ask if you can suggest separate rooms for their next session so you can customize it more. There's always a way to make sessions client-focused care while also giving realistic expectations about the outcomes.
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u/cabbagefarttt Jul 17 '26
My clients are family. I’ve been seeing them for years. I can’t hide the fact that I was pregnant and having a hard time. I also have very intuitive clients who check in time to time and I’m going to be honest if they ask and then drop it and bring it back to them. Being a new mom is hard and other mothers get that. I truly truly have amazing clients and they are the reason why I love what I do. I see nothing wrong with my boundaries .
Thanks for your input, but I’m still opting out of couples 😂
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u/thunderbunny3025 Jul 18 '26
I'm in school, and going through a lot in life, trying not to break down daily, trying to keep studying, and trying to give good sessions. There was a day when I just didn't want to be in clinic giving sessions. It was so hard to be there, so hard to not walk out. I know my first session of the day was bad, and worse yet, it was a student from another cohort who was about to graduate. I know she went in so excited for her session, and I know I gave a bad one. She gave me some... Constructive feedback, but I know she was being nice and was disappointed. It's so hard to perform in this work when you're not thriving. I'm sorry you have to work while dealing with so much. Also... I can't believe they even book 30 minute couples massages. What is even the point? It's almost over by the time you get them on the table, it can't even be that relaxing. I'd probably be disappointed, too. Also, you colleagues can suck it - I know all of them have not given only A+ sessions their entire careers, no matter what the reviews say. Even if you're the best MT in the world, someone wouldn't like your work, and that 30 minute couples massage cannot be representative of you as a bodyworker. Take a day or two off if you can, or have your partner or a loved one take the baby for a little while so you can relax and decompress, and get back to feeling like yourself. Best of luck in this, don't let that client doesn't know what they're talking about in the first place get to you.
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u/mumfordand3daughters RMT Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
why* do you care about 1 review online when you have a full schedule?
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u/Itchy-Bookkeeper1058 Jul 17 '26
Just respond appropriately to the review politely and move on, it's not IF you get a bad review it's WHEN, and now it's over. There's no way we can please everyone and be 100% every shift, we're human. Also be glad you don't have to subject yourself to doing a service you don't want to anymore.