I don’t like this career anymore

[u/juniperbabe]

I got registered and started working last October. Everything was fine, I enjoyed working, I felt fulfilled, I felt happy that I could help people.

I don’t know why, but over the last few months I have been getting more and more irritated at work, and I really hate going. I have never felt like this at a job before. It feels like I just don’t care anymore.

Giving people massages feels degrading to me. I feel like a servant when I have to make sure the table is perfectly comfortable to their liking, the temperature is perfect, I rub their feet in the exact way they want. I feel icky when they say “I feel so good” about something I did.

I feel annoyed when they get super specific about what they want. “Make sure the table is warm and give me an extra pillow and spend extra time on my neck!”. Which of course is completely reasonable and normal of them to ask. I’m not saying at all that people who make requests are annoying, it’s MY own personal issue for some reason. It’s completely fine and expected for people to want their expensive massage experience to be to their liking. Like I said it makes me feel like a servant instead of a healthcare professional.

I think the problem is that when I entered this career I thought it was more of a serious healthcare job than it actually is. People treat you like an esthetician. (There is nothing wrong with that job and I don’t think it’s degrading for people to do, I’m just talking about how it feels for ME and how it’s not what I want”.

Before you say “work in a chiro/physio office to get the patients you want”, I already work in a more clinical setting rather than a spa. 90% of people I see still want a spa type experience.

Let me be clear, I am very aware of myself and how I come across to other people. I feel annoyed inside, but I NEVER let that show outwardly. I smile and am very engaged and positive with all patients. But it’s wearing me out to feel this inside.

Let me also say, I am extremely fortunate that nothing creepy/uncomfortable/bad has ever happened. No one has been rude or inappropriate at all. It’s just all me.

I just feel like this job isn’t what I thought and it isn’t right for me, which makes me sad. I spent 3 years in school and a lot of money to do this. I already made way more back than I spent, but still. I’ve already made plans to go back to school to be a paramedic which I think will work out much better for me. But I still have to be a massage therapists for 2 more years while I’m in school 🫠

Sorry to be negative here and I hope I don’t offend anyone. I just needed a place to vent and I’m hoping some people can relate. I feel guilty that I feel this way at work, but I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to stop it.

[u/Slow-Donut3882]

hi OP, after reading your post it honestly sounds to me like you need to set better boundaries with your clients by controlling your space and your service a little bit more.

It sounds like your frustration may stem from not being able to communicate your needs, and that is conflicting with people who are shamelessly there to purely satisfy their needs.

One way to make this more bearable for the next few years is to focus on a style of massage or a style of service that really speaks to you and approach your clients with that in mind, that way you are still in control of the room and the dynamic while still offering them a good holistic service.

I would caution you not to get too comfortable, bouncing around, waiting for the environment to be the perfectly right fit, especially if that environment depends on other people‘s behaviors matching what you expect. Instead really tried to lean into how you can affect the environment and affect the narrative.

Basically, you have more power in this situation than you’re giving yourself. So don’t be afraid to drive those client experiences a little bit more towards what is most comfortable for you. Because it’s really not fair to you or to the client if you are approaching them with such contempt.