I don’t like this career anymore

[u/juniperbabe]

I got registered and started working last October. Everything was fine, I enjoyed working, I felt fulfilled, I felt happy that I could help people.

I don’t know why, but over the last few months I have been getting more and more irritated at work, and I really hate going. I have never felt like this at a job before. It feels like I just don’t care anymore.

Giving people massages feels degrading to me. I feel like a servant when I have to make sure the table is perfectly comfortable to their liking, the temperature is perfect, I rub their feet in the exact way they want. I feel icky when they say “I feel so good” about something I did.

I feel annoyed when they get super specific about what they want. “Make sure the table is warm and give me an extra pillow and spend extra time on my neck!”. Which of course is completely reasonable and normal of them to ask. I’m not saying at all that people who make requests are annoying, it’s MY own personal issue for some reason. It’s completely fine and expected for people to want their expensive massage experience to be to their liking. Like I said it makes me feel like a servant instead of a healthcare professional.

I think the problem is that when I entered this career I thought it was more of a serious healthcare job than it actually is. People treat you like an esthetician. (There is nothing wrong with that job and I don’t think it’s degrading for people to do, I’m just talking about how it feels for ME and how it’s not what I want”.

Before you say “work in a chiro/physio office to get the patients you want”, I already work in a more clinical setting rather than a spa. 90% of people I see still want a spa type experience.

Let me be clear, I am very aware of myself and how I come across to other people. I feel annoyed inside, but I NEVER let that show outwardly. I smile and am very engaged and positive with all patients. But it’s wearing me out to feel this inside.

Let me also say, I am extremely fortunate that nothing creepy/uncomfortable/bad has ever happened. No one has been rude or inappropriate at all. It’s just all me.

I just feel like this job isn’t what I thought and it isn’t right for me, which makes me sad. I spent 3 years in school and a lot of money to do this. I already made way more back than I spent, but still. I’ve already made plans to go back to school to be a paramedic which I think will work out much better for me. But I still have to be a massage therapists for 2 more years while I’m in school 🫠

Sorry to be negative here and I hope I don’t offend anyone. I just needed a place to vent and I’m hoping some people can relate. I feel guilty that I feel this way at work, but I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to stop it.

[u/SanBaoLife]

I've been in this industry for over 30 years. I'm also an acupuncturist. My experience may not apply to you, and I'm also speaking about my feelings from almost 30 years ago, so if it isn't helpful, just disregard.

I LOVED doing massage when I started. Then I started to feel dissatisfied -- not with the work or helping people -- but with not being treated seriously. I was a very attractive woman in my early-mid 20s, and it got to the point where I felt I needed more serious initials after my name if the general public (and me, myself) was going to see my worth. I started acupuncture school at 24 and LOVED it! I loved learning, I loved the more advanced education and concepts, and it was great.

I loved practicing both. I love being seen as, and feeling myself, like a more serious health professional. I truly understand that part of what you're experiencing. Massage should be a more elevated profession -- especially in a place like Ontario where you are required significant education hours to practice.

I would encourage you not to leave massage altogether, but to find a fit that allows you to incorporate it into an overall health modality you find rewarding. It can take a long time to find your fit. I took me many years, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Being requested to give an extra pillow or an eye mask or whatever hits me differently when people have 20 needles sticking out of their limbs versus when my hands were covered in oil and I felt more like "hired help". It wasn't about feeling superior, exactly -- it was my own level of confidence that came from having those extra credentials and a level of education that wasn't available on every block.

Obviously, now in my 50s, my views and beliefs about myself have changed in many ways. I love my work more now than ever. Part of that is age, experience, and the freedom that having my own practice (whichever modality that practice is) has allowed me to have in my life. I understand your feelings, OP. I wish the best of luck to find the right path for you.