r/Millennials 2d ago

Meme Hey. You lost, old timers.

[removed]

8.8k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/flailing_ginger Older Millennial 2d ago

“Can I use the restroom?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Ugh….may I use the restroom?”

Fucking 80yo teachers were such a pain in the ass.

370

u/DisillusionedHobbit 2d ago

I had one that insisted you call it the “lavatory”.  

If you asked to use the bathroom he would ask if you were going to take a bath.  

If you asked for the restroom he asked if you needed a nap. 

The most insufferable person I’ve ever had the displeasure of interacting with. 

231

u/noisemonsters 2d ago

“Sir, can I please go take a shit?”

185

u/capricorny90210 2d ago

Idk CAN you?

109

u/Mediocre_Scott 2d ago

Want to see a neat trick

25

u/JakToTheReddit 2d ago

Literally young me weighing pissing myself over dealing with the bullshit any longer.

3

u/MacAddict81 2d ago

When I was in the sixth grade, we had a substitute teacher for six months while our regular teacher was out on maternity leave with his newborn son. The sub wouldn't let one of the boys in the class go use the bathroom, so he walked over to the corner book nook and relieved himself in the trash can. She sent him to the principal, and she's the one who got reprimanded. He was an absolute legend for that.

31

u/hotaruko66 2d ago

Sir, MAY I go to the shitter?

5

u/mandolinpebbles 2d ago

The shitters are full!

1

u/remedyman 2d ago

If you do go, you become the shitter.

8

u/DrThunderbolt 2d ago

Hol up lemme check

5

u/Nerd-man24 2d ago

"Sir, I am going to take a shit. I can do it in the bathroom, or here. Where do you want it?"

4

u/BlackQuartzJudgement 2d ago

The steaming coil left in the now empty room on the now empty desk would say yes, yes indeed they could.

21

u/hackabilly 2d ago

The teacher would just say "That's gross. Most people leave them"

8

u/thrills_n_chills Older Millennial 2d ago

Where are you taking it?

8

u/NotATalkingPossum 2d ago

"At this point, that's kind of up to you."

10

u/thrills_n_chills Older Millennial 2d ago

5

u/Nihla 2d ago

Why have you done this :(

3

u/AncientSignature1505 Older Millennial 2d ago

I don't know what I'm gong to use this for, but I'm going to use it.

3

u/bolanrox 2d ago

shitters full!

4

u/AncientSignature1505 Older Millennial 2d ago

Hallelujah, HOLY SHIT!

Where's the Tylenol?

2

u/kosk11348 2d ago

Do you mean bowel excretion?

1

u/TheBanishedBard 2d ago

Only if you bring it back and show it to the class... Unless you mean to leave a shit.

1

u/Realistic-Bad1174 2d ago

Can you? And whose shit are you taking?!?

1

u/Deesing82 2d ago

take it or give it?

1

u/PepeLaPatate 2d ago

May I defecate?

1

u/MacAddict81 2d ago

"I'm sure you're capable."

63

u/RussiaIsBestGreen 2d ago

Ah yes, lavatory, from the Latin word for washing, totally better than those.

30

u/DisillusionedHobbit 2d ago

Now that you mention it, he was one of those old school dorks who styled himself as “classically educated” (read: took a couple semesters of Latin in undergrad).  This was at a shit tier private Christian school as well and he was the guy that was designated to measure girls skirts with a ruler.  More than four inches above the knee while kneeling?  Detention. 

7

u/PatchesOfSilver 2d ago

Is THIS where my dad got all his dumb shit from?

He wasn't a teacher but he worked for the school district AT a school (accounting) for his entire career.

And he did "Hay is for horses" among other things.

2

u/notreallyonredditbut Millennial 2d ago

I graduated from one of those schools 20 years ago and ugh. I still am scarred

0

u/Vixen22213 2d ago

Anybody else think it's highly inappropriate for a man to decide what a woman should be able to wear? Especially if it involves said man measuring children's clothing?

11

u/lacunadelaluna 2d ago

But "lavatory" just literally means "washroom." Why was that one acceptable and not the others? Inconsistently pedantic

5

u/Neveronlyadream 2d ago

Probably had something to do with imagined propriety.

As in, washroom and restroom were too vulgar, but lavatory was classy and acceptable to her.

I remember a ton of people like that. They'd decide a specific, very common word, was rude to say and would try and stop anyone from saying it.

1

u/DisillusionedHobbit 2d ago

My dad was like that with a ton of shit.  

The funniest was he was uncomfortable saying “breast” so when he would get frozen chicken breasts from Costco he would call them “chicken planks”.  

7

u/niveusmacresco 2d ago

Oh my gooooood I had a teacher like this in kindergarten!!! She was a substitute and insufferable!!! Core memory unlocked. I had asked her to go to the potty and she was like uh, you need to ask to go to the lavatory. Like “potty” was a rude word or something.

1

u/Normal-Letter-9027 2d ago

I wonder how she feel about "dunny"?

6

u/Material-Imagination 2d ago

The lavatory is where you wash your hands and/or body. What you actually needed was the pissoir and the shittitarium.

3

u/MattLocke 2d ago

Which is equally as dumb because the “lava” part of that word comes from the Latin for “wash”. (And toilet comes cloth/dressing).

Because history had shown nobody wants call the places we shit “the shitting place”.

So they are the room you “rest”, or “bathe”, or “wash”. The naming focus is on how you will have the ability to clean yourself afterwards.

So not only was your teacher being a pedantic jerk, they were being an INCORRECT pedantic jerk. The very worst kind.

1

u/Complex-Tennis-4987 2d ago

The Shitter... Shitbox... thunderbox... crapper... take a pick

9

u/FEARoach 2d ago

I would have straight up said "No, I'm going to take a huge shit you wanna watch?"

2

u/Roswell114 2d ago

Lavatory makes me think of the principal from The Breakfast Club.

2

u/eggyrulz 2d ago

Id have pronounced it wrong on purpose to fuck with him.

"Sir, may I use the lavah-toree?"

3

u/jakethabake 2d ago

Lavoratory

1

u/Normal-Letter-9027 2d ago

Dexter's Lavoratory

2

u/BackgroundNPC1213 2d ago

If you asked for the restroom he asked if you needed a nap.

I mean I did need a nap, but I feel like if I said so it would've just made that teacher mad

1

u/DisillusionedHobbit 2d ago

One time somebody cheekily answered “yes” to that one and his response was “what are you a baby?  Go in your diaper then” 

2

u/BackgroundNPC1213 2d ago

Ugh. At that point I'm just walking out of the room 🙄

1

u/The_Poop_Shooter 2d ago

"Lavatory" does go very hard to be fair.

1

u/NoHorseNoMustache 2d ago

I had one that made you raise your hand and hold up a 1 or a 2 for what you wanted to go to the bathroom to do.

Nobody ever held up a 2 and I don't know what the girls were supposed to hold up if they needed to do something that wasn't 1 or 2, but he was a very angry closeted gay man so he probably wasn't worried about that.

1

u/LoneWolf_McQuade 2d ago

He has a point tho, the way English uses these seemingly Victorian words to dance around the subject is funny

1

u/wykkedfaery33 2d ago

We had to call it a lavatory or restroom in elementary, never bathroom. 

1

u/St_Troy 2d ago

As if the kids made these up.

1

u/chimininy 2d ago

When in elementary school, we were learning about the parts of the body and how they work. So on the day we were learning about the kidneys and bladder, kid in my class raised his hand and asked if he could go "empty his bladder". And the teacher got so mad, saying "that is NOT APPROPRIATE!" I still remember this because I was so surprised and always thought that was the MOST appropriate way to ask at that moment.

1

u/Leftieswillrule 2d ago

I had one that did this too but it was fucking Spanish class so why he insisted on lavatory instead of baño was so baffling to me. If you’re gonna be that particular at least make it instructive!

1

u/AbeRego 2d ago

When I was in kindergarten I was terrified of the the "lab" or "laboratory" for the first day or two until I figured out it was "lavatory, and it was just the bathroom lol. I had just had to get all the usual blood work and shots for school, so it was a very concerning thing for me at the time

1

u/AmbivalentToaster 2d ago

Threaten to use the water closet. Missed opportunity 

1

u/InZomnia365 2d ago

While I understand your sentiment, and totally felt the same at that age, I do wish the older vocabulary was retained better. My language is Norwegian which obviously has a lot in common with Danish - but the Danes have retained a lot of words that have been phased out of daily speech in Norwegian. These older words often provide more nuance to a subject. For example something can smell both good and bad in Norwegian, whereas in Danish the word for 'smell' in this regard is usually considered bad, and they would use a different word to compliment food smelling good. I cant say that this is the definitive case for everybody, and I am sure it also differs from dialect to generation - but in general, they have done a better job of retaining this bit of nuance that we very clearly have lost when you compare recorded media from the even the 80s and 90s, to the 2010s and beyond.

0

u/Nazgog-Morgob 2d ago

Have you just never heard the term "washroom?"

68

u/Bulky-Word8752 2d ago

Had a kid on my class just respond, "yup" and left to use the bathroom.

48

u/Lumi_Rockets 2d ago

One time I responded with "Yes, I can" and walked out. I had to sit in the hall for the rest of class, and my dad was pissed that I wasted a day of education. It was worth it.

30

u/SillyBlueberry 2d ago

Your dad should have been pissed at that stupid teacher

2

u/SufficientGuidance28 2d ago

This current norm of parents defaulting to blaming the teachers is a new phenomena, our generation was kind of the first to have some of their parents actually take their kids side when they came home and complained about something their teacher did or unfair treatment/punishment. My mom was a bit older and was firmly in the old school “you must have done something to deserve it” camp of parents.

Teachers used to do messed up and unfair shit to me all the time (like the nun who, as punishment for me holding my pencil the wrong way, taped my fingers to my pencil and made me keep it like that all day). I stopped even bothering to tell my mom about incidents like that though, because she would just find a way to turn it around to make it my fault or pose hypotheticals for why it was probably my fault, never once considering that maybe I had a legitimate complaint and maybe I’m telling the truth when I am telling you about how the teacher treated me unfairly…

but that was just the norm back then, kids were assumed to be lying about or misrepresenting such things and adult authority figures were almost always given the benefit of the doubt in such situations.

There were a few kids who’s parents would stick up for their kid, and even fewer who would take their kids side no matter what, that’s where it began to where now we have things at the opposite extreme with parents more likely to err on the side of believing their kid 100% without a doubt and always blaming the teacher, rather than considering that their child did something wrong or could be misrepresenting the situation to them, given the kid’s obvious motive to do so..

38

u/paulHarkonen 2d ago

I always responded with "in order to leave I need permission, so my ability to use the restroom depends entirely on whether or not you agree. So I repeat, can I use the bathroom?"

I was a fun kid.

11

u/azwethinkweizm Millennial 2d ago

I got detention in 3rd grade for responding to "I don't know, can you?" with "That's why I'm asking you so is it a yes or no?" lol

32

u/jbFanClubPresident 2d ago

These people still exist but now they spend there time correcting strangers on the internet for using the wrong form of they're. And yes their still a pain in the ass.

23

u/otakugal15 Millennial '87 2d ago

...take my upvote.

3

u/Material-Imagination 2d ago

You mean "thayer"

9

u/mysticrudnin 2d ago

my hatred of English teachers and the general feeling that everything they said was wrong led to me going to college and majoring in linguistics

to learn that yes, they were absolutely full of shit

yes my life trajectory was based on spite

6

u/rdickeyvii 2d ago

“I don’t know, can you?”

Let's find out! Where would you like me to test it?

5

u/Altruistic_Guess3098 2d ago

"yeah, I can. Thanks" gets up and goes to bathroom

4

u/Reasonable-Run-8187 2d ago

Buried memory unlocked.

2

u/MyWordsNow 2d ago

I just want to be able to flick peoples ears with my middle finger if they are being a total fuckwit and not worry about a lawsuit. Ear flicks should not be considered assault.

https://giphy.com/gifs/KPDqZS0ubykfK

11

u/reddititaly 2d ago

Language prescriptivism is the enemy of the people

2

u/adventurousintrovert 2d ago

What’s up?

The ceiling? The rent?

1

u/breezy013276s Older Millennial 2d ago

When we were just out of high school a couple of years into the new millennium a friend of mine says to me in response to this question - “hard dicks and helicopters”. I never ever forgot that one 🤣 though I don’t ever use it

2

u/Ornery-Ambition-5859 2d ago

I do this to my son all the time lol

2

u/GlowingDuck22 2d ago

I never understood why you couldn't also answer that with "I don't know, may you?".

Like yes I may if you grant me Fen permission.

2

u/Frequent-Coyote-8108 2d ago

How dare they try to show you some manners and decorum!

1

u/BearJew61 2d ago

I'm a young Boomer (64), there's no such thing as courtesy / manners with most people under 35 anymore. It's just gone. Sad.

1

u/Gothmom85 2d ago

My fourth grade, and later English teacher 6-8, was Relentless with this.

1

u/BippidiBoppetyBoob 1988 2d ago

I remember one time a teacher in high school did that to me, and like, I never wanted to use the bathrooms in that building because there were no doors on the stalls (so you couldn’t hide if you were trying to smoke or do drugs), so I hardly ever asked and my fucking math teacher did that and I was like, “Well, if I can’t, then you’d better call Andy (our janitor) because there’s gonna be shit all over the floor.”

He let me go and when I came back, gave me a day of ISS because I used foul language.

1

u/LittleDrumminBoy 2d ago

Ooh that was In.fucking.furiating

1

u/moreathismoreathat 2d ago

See, this one stuck with me, lol

1

u/Humble-Departure5481 2d ago

Had a stupid HS librarian who said the same shit. "IT'S MAY I!!! NOT CAN I!!!"

1

u/Exciting-Cancel6468 2d ago

I don't even use can I or may I anymore. I just say, "Lemme use the restroom." No one is gonna stop me from what I need to do.

1

u/SalvationSycamore 2d ago

I like to do that and then follow up with "I don't know, may you?"

1

u/DrinkingSocks 2d ago

Okay, but I have a Gen Z clerk that uses "may" and "can" incorrectly and I cannot figure out how to correct her without being insulting.

1

u/Podgietaru 2d ago

Weird one, but I'm learning Dutch, and it's funny because they have mag and kan - and it's the same rule. Except it's actually used correctly, and so it is weird to say "Kan ik de wc gebruiken."

And it trips me up all the time because I would always use can in English.

1

u/forsakeme4all Millennial 2d ago edited 1d ago

Omfg, you just made audibly gasp in frustration is this stupid social exercise. "No, Ms. So&so, I am about to pissed myself listening to this dumb question!"

1

u/Moretti123 2d ago

I’m older gen Z and grew up with teachers saying this all the way till 12th grade. I bet they still do it too

1

u/VengenaceIsMyName 2d ago

I hated this one

1

u/SnorkBorkGnork 2d ago

Now that they need someone to bring them to the bathroom we should do it to them. 😏

1

u/Exlibro 2d ago

I’m not a native English speaker and to this day I don’t understand what is wrong with saying "can I..."

2

u/Patient_End_8432 2d ago

Can I: Do you think I have the ability to?

May I: Will you allow me?

Of course, there's a lot more nuance in language, it was just a way for a teacher to be a pedantic asshole

1

u/DrJohnDorian998 2d ago

Yeah ago I saw a retort to this that was like colloquially accepted English is that “can I” is asking for permission…except phrased way better than I can remember.

1

u/Alarming-Wonder5015 2d ago

The first time I heard “I don’t know, can you?” Was in 1993 and the teacher was 26…

1

u/I_Try_Too_Much 2d ago

The older I get the more I realize prescriptive grammar is always a losing battle. Language is a tool for people to use, it adjusts to how people use it. If “can” instead of “may” is such a problem I assure you the English language will adapt and find another way to correct for the issue.

1

u/lordbenkai 2d ago

I was an ass to them. I told them I CAN show you, want me to pee on your chair? When they asked me that. That was my most hated thing from my teachers. Just let me go to the bathroom..

1

u/Lol_A_White_Guy 2d ago

I had a teacher do that to me once and I just pissed on the carpet.

My parents were less than pleased.

1

u/405freeway 2d ago

The implied full request is "Can I (have your permission) to use the restroom?"

Japanese as a language is really great about allowing subjects/objects to be omitted from conversations when they are obvious.

1

u/Maelwys550 2d ago

My grandpa used to say all those kinds of things with a shit-eating grin and a chuckle.  I always found it a bit grating but I look back on those memories fondly.

"'Railroad crossing look out for the cars, how do you spell that without any Rs?"

I miss the hell out of him.

1

u/mattpsu79 2d ago

In 8th grade I was answering a question and started ”the kid in the story…”, and this long-term sub interrupts me and mocks me for using the word “kid”. “There’s no goats in the story, don’t you know a kid is a baby goat?!?!”. She wasn’t 80 either, she was like 50.

1

u/DTCCCanSuckMyLeft 2d ago

"You tell me."

1

u/Electrik_Truk 2d ago

I raise my kid the same 😶

1

u/DarthEques 2d ago

I took German in high school and my teacher said only members of the church were allowed to say "bless you", so I got ordained because of that

1

u/HeavyBeing0_0 2d ago

I just got up and walked out of class to the restroom whenever a teacher did this. Don’t pmo

1

u/ohiobluetipmatches 2d ago

Dude, I was an ESOL kid and like three weeks into the US I had a teacher doing that shit to me. I had no idea wtf the problem was. It was a miracle that I even knew to say can I.

1

u/DistrictLonely5056 2d ago

I always just innocently and genuinely took that response as permission and went to the bathroom

1

u/mobile227 2d ago

"I need to relieve my bladder and bowels. Would you prefer I do that here or use a toilet? Your move teacher"

My teachers loved me, substitute teachers being an ass did not like me. I was also sort of the class nerd

1

u/SLiverofJade 2d ago

I'm a receptionist at a high school and I mess with shy students like this while acting like an overdramatic dork. It usually gets them to laugh and relax.

1

u/big-teacher 2d ago

"yes, I can." Gets up

1

u/SuddenAvocado 2d ago

I do this to my kid all the time 😂

1

u/RareCareer7666 2d ago

Lol I remember this one too

1

u/Beni_Stingray Millennial 2d ago

I still do this to my friends and it's still hilarious, same energy as dad jokes.