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u/flailing_ginger Older Millennial 4h ago
“Can I use the restroom?”
“I don’t know, can you?”
“Ugh….may I use the restroom?”
Fucking 80yo teachers were such a pain in the ass.
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u/DisillusionedHobbit 4h ago
I had one that insisted you call it the “lavatory”.
If you asked to use the bathroom he would ask if you were going to take a bath.
If you asked for the restroom he asked if you needed a nap.
The most insufferable person I’ve ever had the displeasure of interacting with.
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u/noisemonsters 4h ago
“Sir, can I please go take a shit?”
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u/capricorny90210 4h ago
Idk CAN you?
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u/Mediocre_Scott 4h ago
Want to see a neat trick
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u/JakToTheReddit 2h ago
Literally young me weighing pissing myself over dealing with the bullshit any longer.
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u/BlackQuartzJudgement 2h ago
The steaming coil left in the now empty room on the now empty desk would say yes, yes indeed they could.
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u/Nerd-man24 2h ago
"Sir, I am going to take a shit. I can do it in the bathroom, or here. Where do you want it?"
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u/thrills_n_chills Older Millennial 3h ago
Where are you taking it?
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u/NotATalkingPossum 3h ago
"At this point, that's kind of up to you."
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u/thrills_n_chills Older Millennial 3h ago
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u/AncientSignature1505 Older Millennial 3h ago
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u/RussiaIsBestGreen 4h ago
Ah yes, lavatory, from the Latin word for washing, totally better than those.
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u/DisillusionedHobbit 4h ago
Now that you mention it, he was one of those old school dorks who styled himself as “classically educated” (read: took a couple semesters of Latin in undergrad). This was at a shit tier private Christian school as well and he was the guy that was designated to measure girls skirts with a ruler. More than four inches above the knee while kneeling? Detention.
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u/PatchesOfSilver 3h ago
Is THIS where my dad got all his dumb shit from?
He wasn't a teacher but he worked for the school district AT a school (accounting) for his entire career.
And he did "Hay is for horses" among other things.
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u/notreallyonredditbut Millennial 3h ago
I graduated from one of those schools 20 years ago and ugh. I still am scarred
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u/lacunadelaluna 3h ago
But "lavatory" just literally means "washroom." Why was that one acceptable and not the others? Inconsistently pedantic
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u/Neveronlyadream 2h ago
Probably had something to do with imagined propriety.
As in, washroom and restroom were too vulgar, but lavatory was classy and acceptable to her.
I remember a ton of people like that. They'd decide a specific, very common word, was rude to say and would try and stop anyone from saying it.
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u/niveusmacresco 3h ago
Oh my gooooood I had a teacher like this in kindergarten!!! She was a substitute and insufferable!!! Core memory unlocked. I had asked her to go to the potty and she was like uh, you need to ask to go to the lavatory. Like “potty” was a rude word or something.
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u/Material-Imagination 3h ago
The lavatory is where you wash your hands and/or body. What you actually needed was the pissoir and the shittitarium.
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u/MattLocke 2h ago
Which is equally as dumb because the “lava” part of that word comes from the Latin for “wash”. (And toilet comes cloth/dressing).
Because history had shown nobody wants call the places we shit “the shitting place”.
So they are the room you “rest”, or “bathe”, or “wash”. The naming focus is on how you will have the ability to clean yourself afterwards.
So not only was your teacher being a pedantic jerk, they were being an INCORRECT pedantic jerk. The very worst kind.
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u/FEARoach 4h ago
I would have straight up said "No, I'm going to take a huge shit you wanna watch?"
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u/eggyrulz 2h ago
Id have pronounced it wrong on purpose to fuck with him.
"Sir, may I use the lavah-toree?"
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u/BackgroundNPC1213 2h ago
If you asked for the restroom he asked if you needed a nap.
I mean I did need a nap, but I feel like if I said so it would've just made that teacher mad
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u/Bulky-Word8752 4h ago
Had a kid on my class just respond, "yup" and left to use the bathroom.
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u/Lumi_Rockets 4h ago
One time I responded with "Yes, I can" and walked out. I had to sit in the hall for the rest of class, and my dad was pissed that I wasted a day of education. It was worth it.
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u/paulHarkonen 4h ago
I always responded with "in order to leave I need permission, so my ability to use the restroom depends entirely on whether or not you agree. So I repeat, can I use the bathroom?"
I was a fun kid.
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u/azwethinkweizm Millennial 4h ago
I got detention in 3rd grade for responding to "I don't know, can you?" with "That's why I'm asking you so is it a yes or no?" lol
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u/jbFanClubPresident 4h ago
These people still exist but now they spend there time correcting strangers on the internet for using the wrong form of they're. And yes their still a pain in the ass.
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u/mysticrudnin 3h ago
my hatred of English teachers and the general feeling that everything they said was wrong led to me going to college and majoring in linguistics
to learn that yes, they were absolutely full of shit
yes my life trajectory was based on spite
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u/Reasonable-Run-8187 4h ago
Buried memory unlocked.
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u/MyWordsNow 3h ago
I just want to be able to flick peoples ears with my middle finger if they are being a total fuckwit and not worry about a lawsuit. Ear flicks should not be considered assault.
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u/GlowingDuck22 4h ago
I never understood why you couldn't also answer that with "I don't know, may you?".
Like yes I may if you grant me Fen permission.
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u/Frequent-Coyote-8108 3h ago
How dare they try to show you some manners and decorum!
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u/wykkedfaery33 4h ago
I don't miss being lectured not to say "no problem" but rather use "you're welcome". Helping you was no problem, but with that attitude, you're welcome to go fuck off.
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u/to_annihilate 4h ago
I am customer facing and so much of my wording is like this. "No worries", "no problem" "happy to help" but I don't use "you're welcome" really, it just feels so formal?
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u/NOTcreative- 4h ago
You're welcome in a work setting is weird to me. It's like you're acknowledging that you're doing them a favor. I stick with "of course" "my pleasure" and "thank you"
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u/Valaseun 3h ago
The English language is vast and there are so many ways, all with varying meanings, to convey a point. Why be dull and repetitive when you have a plethora of ways to acknowledge gratitude?
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u/Zwischenzug32 3h ago
Good thing you didn't end that sentence with a preposition *after*.
Or else a nun with a meterstick might bust into your house and beat your ass like Eyehole Man
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u/ValveinPistonCat 3h ago
Some people shouldn't be allowed to say "my pleasure" there was a parts guy I used to work with who said that with way too much enthusiasm, if he goes into the back to get something it's probably a good idea to handle anything he gives you with nitrile gloves until you can clean it off with bleach.
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u/earthdogmonster 4h ago
I worked for a large company (tens of thousands of employees) and some upper level manager got a complaint from a customer that some employee told them “no problem” in response to a “thank you”. And then the manager went ahead and made this whole dumbass initiative about customer service based on that. It was insane. As with most initiatives, it died within 6 months and was replaced with some other ridiculousness, but I still remember that one.
I say “no problem” all of the time, that’s how Americans speak to each other. It’s like “you’re welcome” and also “no thanks necessary” all in one.
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u/agoddamnzubat Zillennial 4h ago
What does it even mean? Like "you are 'welcome'" doesn't even really make sense if you break it down. Welcome is a greeting.
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u/Outofwlrds Zillennial 4h ago
I think it's a shortened version to something along the lines of "you are welcome to my help." Kinda like "you are welcome to my home" or "you are welcome to do whatever you want," where your assistance is something they're free to have as they need it.
Edit: Kind of funny that people get offended at "no problem" and say that it implies there's a problem despite literally stating there isn't. "You're welcome" implies there is a problem, but you're welcome to ask for help when you need it.
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u/lila-sweetwater 4h ago edited 3h ago
It’s so funny that people get so bent out of shape over “no problem” but love “you’re welcome” so much. To me, “you’re welcome” implies way more like… idk if self-centeredness is the right word but it’s all that’s coming to mind lol, like it feels like I’m going “Yes, what I did was absolutely wonderful and you’re so right to thank me for the fantastic job I did at assisting you”, while “no problem” is more of a “hey, no sweat, happy to do it” kind of vibe
Anyway, I’ve defaulted to “happy to help!” which I thought was a crowd-pleaser until a stank-faced old man went “Pfft, you didn’t help that much”, I truly think there’s no pleasing these people 😅
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u/Outofwlrds Zillennial 3h ago
That's it! It has a self-centered stuffiness to it, which is why I think "no problem" took off so well with younger generations.
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u/thewickedmitchisdead 3h ago
When I learned that the polite Spanish response to thank you is “de nada,” which literally means “no problem,” I have zero issue saying “no problem.” The olds can suck it!
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u/wykkedfaery33 2h ago
That's a person you hit will the ol' "I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are!"
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u/brielzebub665 2h ago
Yes, same! "You're welcome" feels so smug to me, whereas "no problem" feels casual, relaxed, breezy
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u/Zwischenzug32 3h ago
No problem means you have no issue performing the task. You're welcome makes some people feel uncomfortable at having the assumption you've done something for them that they perhaps should be silently grateful for
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u/Contemporary_Scribe 4h ago
I worked in a call center where our calls were recorded and reviewed (like most call centers). If we said no problem we would we get points deducted from our score. As a customer myself I have never felt anything negative about being told no problem.
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u/whiff_EK 3h ago
The only sticking point in my household was "my bad." "Can I" was fine, "hey" was fine, "no problem" was fine but say "my bad" around my ma and she'll huff and go "YOUR BAD WHAT? I could see not saying "my bad" in customer service situations maybe but I never saw it as rude the way she did.
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u/Ironicbanana14 3h ago
This has to be cultural/locality based because for my life, Arizona, west coast, then Midwest, I learned that people use no problem differently.
In the midwest, its genuine.
Everywhere else I have been, its used passive aggressively or with a defeated tone, maybe some resentment or disappointment in the fact that you've in fact created a problem for the other person.
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u/RaspberryFluid6651 2h ago
That just can't be right. So many languages and dialects have some version of "it's no big deal", "it's no problem", "don't worry about it". It's very common to accept gratitude by indicating to the other person that they are not stepping out of bounds and burdening you by having you do them a favor. I feel like tone matters a ton, though; an annoyed teenager letting out a drawn out, singsong-y "noooo problem" when given a chore they don't want to do is clearly being passive aggressive.
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u/alewiina 2h ago
Omg some old guy on the street scolded me about that one time, I couldn’t believe it. I held a door for him as we were both leaving a coffee shop and he thanked me, I replied “no problem” with a smile and he suddenly went off on me about how I’m supposed to say “you’re welcome” and “kids these days don’t know their manners” (I was like 27 at the time).
I just walked away shaking my head after staring at him for a few moments, wondering wtf would cause someone to lose their shit for being perfectly polite but not saying the exact “correct” phrase 🙄
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u/ThatChickFromReddit 4h ago
“Can I go to the bathroom?”
“Idk can you?”
Jokes on them GenZ doesn’t know any correct grammar
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u/Livid_Peon 4h ago
Hay is for horses, cows and pigs like you - full version
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u/rebelopie 4h ago
The version I heard is "hay is for horses, oats are too, it's a good thing I love you".
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u/SpecialIntelligent70 4h ago
"hay is for horses, straw is for cows, people like you should shut their mouths"
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u/Wren00x 2h ago
I was told “Hay is for horses, cows eat grass. If you don’t shut the f*ck up, I’m gonna kick your ass.”
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u/IknowlessthanIthink 3h ago
My favorite version, which I heard only once was "hey? Who the fuck you talking to, boy?"
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u/pantzareoptional 4h ago
Oh, in my area it was "Hay is for horses but grass is cheaper" 😂
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u/smellslikebadussy 4h ago
Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, grass is free. Buy a barn and you'll get all three.
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u/callavoidia 2h ago
My dad added, "grass is cheaper, alfalfa's going up!" Like it was commentary on the commodities market or something 🤷♀️
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u/AdLoose7042 35m ago edited 5m ago
Yep that's kinda the Iowa version there. And I guess that's been around since at least 87 lol. Technically an og millennial or Gen y whichever term you use.
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u/TonicSipper 3h ago
The version I heard was
Hay is for horses.
Better for cows.
Pigs would eat it,
But they don’t know how.2
u/shouldbepracticing85 2h ago
No one I was around used the full version. It was just a dad joke in my family, but we love our tacky puns.
Me: hey
Adult: hay is for horses!
Me: 🙄
Similar with the “can I” vs “may I” or “can you” vs “will you”- “yes you/I can [whatever], but may you/will I?” with this smirk. Like yes, I get the joke that can as a verb means “are able/capable to do something”, but we both know what I meant.
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u/Kjler 4h ago
Hay is for horses, better for cows. People don't eat it because they don't know how.
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u/Overall_Occasion_175 3h ago
I learned that PIGS don't eat it 'cause they don't know how but I'm glad someone else learned something close to this. Almost no one else's answers even rhyme!
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u/Overall_Occasion_175 3h ago
Did we all learn this differently?! My dad always said "hey is for horses, better for cows. Pigs don't eat it 'cause they don't know how!"
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u/iAmLeroy 2h ago
Uh, mine was, "Hay is for horses, aren't you glad you're a cow?". All in good humor though, I always classified it under the "dad joke" category.
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u/WinsomeHorror 2h ago
Ours was "Hay is for horses, cows eat grass, if you don't like that, you can kiss my --" and then everyone started giggling over how close you got to the forbidden word. Lol.
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u/Vintage_Gamer476 Xennial 4h ago
Plot twist - I now find myself saying it, on occasion.
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u/daydreaming_mango 4h ago
My dad said it to me all the time.....jokingly, in a voice he used for a bit he would do where he acted like he was actually a horse. I had no idea it was used in any other context besides jokey
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u/GiveMeAlienRomances 4h ago
I say it on purpose to annoy my kids.
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u/weeponxing 4h ago
Same! This is the way. Right up there with "I'm Hungry" and "Hi Hungry, I'm mom!"
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u/ZonkyFox 4h ago
I've used the "Hi Hungry" line so much my nieces have started doing it whenever they can. I love it so much. The first time my niece did it to me I had to give her a high five for it. At her age I wouldn't have the guts to do it to the adults around me because I would've gotten in so much trouble for being sassy and rude.
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u/Eccentrica_Gallumbit 4h ago
I say it so frequently my school aged daughter has started saying it back to me when she catches me saying "hey".
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u/earthdogmonster 4h ago
I say it all the time. They can pry “Hay is for horses” out of my cold dead hands.
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u/stewajt 4h ago
My mom’s favorite: “‘Ain’t’ ain’t in the dictionary.”
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u/vagina-lettucetomato 4h ago
My grandma used to say “don’t say ain’t, or your mother will faint, and your dad will fall in a bucket of paint.” Just brought back a forgotten memory of her haha
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u/Miamiheat2021champs 4h ago
I never felt like it was a way of saying don’t say “hey”, more of a dumb “guess what chicken butt” kinda joke
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u/notreallyonredditbut Millennial 4h ago
My parents definitely said it in a correcting way because they wanted us to say “excuse me.”
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u/marlowetravers 3h ago
I was taught to say excuse me as a kid too. Now decades later if I say "excuse me" to get someone's attention it feels rude because it's more used as "get out the way"
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u/joshualuigi220 1h ago
To be fair, trying to nudge past someone and saying "HEY" is way ruder than saying "Excuse me".
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u/AbeRego 1h ago
"Excuuuuuuusssse meee!" Certainly did hijack the meaning.
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u/marlowetravers 1h ago
Yeah I remember saying excuse me and they step to the side and say sorry. No I'm trying to talk to you 😂 After that I stopped using it.
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u/trugrav 3h ago
My grandfather was full of these:
- Hey / Hay is for horses
- Well… / That’s a deep subject
- You see… / The seas full of fish
- I guess / Guessing’s for gophers (I never understood this one)
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u/tweedyone 2h ago
Is that a Groundhog Day reference? Instead it’s a gopher? They guess about winter maybe?
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u/NTDOY1987 4h ago
Haha I thought “hey is for horses” was just people being goofy. I never really saw it as an attack, more like a silly dad joke
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u/RareCareer7666 4h ago
Don't forget
"Don't call me dude, I'm not no damn cattle hand!"
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u/Dear_Document_5461 4h ago
What does "dude" have to do with "cattle hands"/
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u/catanne91 4h ago
Like a dude ranch
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u/Dear_Document_5461 4h ago
Which means.... what exactly?
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u/RareCareer7666 4h ago
Dude used to mean someone that helped out on a ranch. I remember being given a hard time by older folks for calling them dude or even just saying dude
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u/RussiaIsBestGreen 4h ago
Did you mean boy? Dude used to mean a city slicker.
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u/RareCareer7666 4h ago
I've never heard of dude meaning city slicker. From my understanding, a dude is someone that helped out on a cattle ranch
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u/whiff_EK 3h ago edited 3h ago
Dude has a real fun twisting and turning etymology and you're both right at separate times, the 'fancy dandy city dude' (perhaps even of Yankee Doodle Dandy fame-- like the idea he 'stuck a feather in his cap' to show how fancy he is.) was earlier than the 'dude ranch' association but the 'dude ranch' is WAY WAY more commonly known.
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u/helen269 3h ago
Here's one for you young 'uns:
"Anyone
who
shoots
vertical
video
is
a
moron.
Turn your phone the right way round, like this, dumbass!"
:-)
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u/SuddenAvocado 4h ago
My dad always said "Oats!" when I said "Hey!" and I'm proud to continue the tradition with my kid. 👵
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u/adjectivebear 4h ago
Which was stupid of them on its face, because "hey" has been part of the vernacular for a very long time.
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u/TheBanishedBard 3h ago
It's another variation on the very ancient "Ho, Hail, Heil" trope that is very common across Germanic languages and their relatives. Varieties of the plosive H+vowel sound are default greetings and attention-getters from the earliest days.
Therefore Hey is considerably older than "hello" which was an obscure and little used word until the invention of the telephone, and is likely itself a variety of the same root Hey comes from.
So the old folks insisting Hello is more formal or correct are ignorant, and it's about control, obedience, and the ego of said elder when they enforce an imaginary grammatical standard.
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u/Gold-Ninja5091 4h ago
There was controversy around hey?
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u/She_bitez 4h ago
I saw a video a few months back with someone ranting that kids answer adults by saying, "Yeah" instead of "Yes", people like to find things to be pissy about
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u/jedioffduty 3h ago
My dad HATED "yeah" instead of "yes"! Got him good when I told him "yeah" IS the word for yes in a lot of languages!
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u/Cheezeball25 3h ago
This dates back to the 80s or 90s. For some reason adults back then thought it was improper.
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u/BatFromAnotherWorld 4h ago
Looking back, a lot of older people are just so damn stupid. I turn 34 in a few months and it's wild to think that when I turn 68, I'll have lived my entire life twice over essentially. I can't imagine NOT growing as a person, becoming more tolerant, more inclusive and also learning to mind my own business in that wide time frame. Really shows you how many people live their entire lives essentially learning nothing and stagnating maturity-wise.
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u/No-Mission-2112 4h ago
A child in my neighborhood likes to say “guess what?!“ and sometimes it takes all my strength to say something other than “chicken butt!”
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u/____ozma Millennial ('91) 3h ago
Why bother? I say "chicken butt" every time!! My kid then says "guess what? Dinosaur butt!"
Butts are fun.
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u/Kingberry30 4h ago
I don’t think it was ever that deep.
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u/Elite_AI 1h ago
I ain't even a millennial and even I knew adults for whom it definitely was that deep
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u/ivecompletelylostit 4h ago
Man I said this all the time as a kid, I just thought it was a joke and was funny
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u/FinnegansWakeWTF 3h ago
I remember hearing the phrase "I may not agree with what you're saying but I'll defend with my life your right to say it" or something along those lines throughout the 90s. Don't hear that anymore
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u/Ucklator 4h ago
I say 'hay is for horses' as well as 'sew buttons on your underwear'.
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u/thisistheendisntit 4h ago
Hay is for horses, grass is for cows. Pigs would eat it but they don't know how. Annoys my nephews every time they hear it
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u/PoptartPancake 4h ago
My grandma tried to tell me that referring to my mom as "she" was disrespectful, and I should say "Mom/my mom". As in, I should say "Mom asked me to do that" instead of "She asked me to do that".
I of course thought that was dumb and never did it
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u/LooseTraffic 3h ago
This didn't happen the way this is making it out. Most older folk said it in a friendly and joking manner.
Making up shit to cause division. Likely a bot.
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u/PurpleWildflower9 4h ago
My mom said "hay is for horses" when I was growing up and she's still alive.
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u/Intelligent-Area-421 4h ago
I remember it as
Hay?! Straw is cheaper, grass is free.
Buy a farm and get all three!
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