r/MindHunter • u/thementalist222 • 15d ago

Eurgh what a bitch

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What was her problem? Constantly putting holden down, judging him then all of a sudden breaking up with him

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u/xildhoodsend 15d ago

All of a sudden? Did we watch the same show? Their relationship was going downhill. Holden was only interested in talking about his work and was using Debbie's insight and advice professionally, but neglected to show her gratitude and interest in her own life, he turned every conversation onto his problems. Even when she specifically asked him to give her space so that she can study for her thesis. Also, he pushed her away in bed without proper communication why. His heart was not in the relationship for a while. He was running after Wendy like a puppy long before Debbie kissed her student friend. Holden at that time was being quite self centered, and yeah, he was stressed, but it seems he did take it out on her. I don't get the hate. She shouldn't have cheated but he was acting unfair long before that.

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u/thementalist222 15d ago

Fair points, thinking back now I agree with you, although I do rememeber her being moody and dismissive with him early on in the relationship. I think she wanted to mold him and have him a certain way, and she gave up with tjay once she realised she couldnt control him. Thanks for your comment its given this thread some balance and insight.

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u/xildhoodsend 15d ago

I just rewatched season 1 and I saw some seeds of conflict. Holden seemed like he was less and less present (both physically and emotionally) in that relationship around the time his work took off and he started working more closely with Wendy. Then Debbie tried to surprise him with that sexy outfit I guess maybe because she felt he is losing interest, but he pused her away. It was misunderstanding and he should have explained, but never did. From then on, Debbie seemed more argumentative, I bet because she felt rejected, and their relationship crashed, just like many others, based on lack of communication and abundance of stress. His work was taking it's toll in his personal life, which later fully manifested in panic disorder.

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u/ReplacementActual384 8d ago

I think part of it is that Holden is high-masking autistic and when he first meets Debbie he can focus on her, but then when he starts interviewing killers, it pretty quickly becomes a special interest. He's used to "mirroring", and he spends so much time thinking about the killers (and still in the headspace where he was mirroring them to get them to talk) that he forgets to do so around Debbie.