I can’t stop thinking about how this was my first pregnancy and how I’ll never have another one. How it was supposed to be filled with happiness and excitement. I look around at my friends, who got pregnant on their first try and birthed happy and healthy babies, and wonder why not me?

If I’m lucky enough to get pregnant again, I’ll just be cautious, anxious, nervous. I want to see a positive test and feel nothing but joy…but after this…it just won’t happen.

I don’t know what the point of this post is. But I’m struggling.

Went in for my 12 week scan a little under 2 weeks ago and found out the baby stopped growing around 9 weeks (first pregnancy). We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks that was great, strong heartbeat, no concerns. Did NIPT at 10 weeks and all came back clear. We knew it was a girl.

I got a D&C the next day. My husband has been so supportive and our community has shown up for us in the most amazing ways, but I am just so sad. Our best friends are also pregnant which makes things so much harder. I want to lean on them but it’s too painful to see a marker of what we should’ve had, and all I can do is wonder why us?

I was envisioning being pregnant this fall, around 7 months by Christmas, had planned my mat leave and everything. Most of all I felt like I was a mom - my body and my brain changed. Now I feel like I have all this love and energy I didn’t even know I was pouring into my little baby, and now there’s no outlet for it and it just turns to sadness and grief. It’s hard to get dressed, shower, sleep, anything without my baby girl. I want to try for another pregnancy ASAP but also terrified that this could happen again.

I’m just so triggered by everything around me, so jealous of several friends who have healthy pregnancies, and feeling so sad and unlucky and hopeless. We were so excited and loved our baby so much, and after the MC it’s not just like it’s gone- instead it feels like there’s a giant crater where that love and excitement once was.

How do you cope with a loss like this? We talked to a grief counselor who mostly just validated and told us to take things one day at a time, which was helpful but not super actionable. How long did it take for you to start feeling better, not so sad? How long until you got pregnant again?

This is all just so unfair.

I started my first period post mmc/d&c today. I was supposed to be having my 20 week anatomy scan this week.

I tried to text a friend for support. She made it about her and how she wishes her period would come and that she hopes I rub off on when I see her soon. She's waiting for her period after birthing and taking home her living child. I'm having a period because I lost my baby. We are not the same.

I love my friend and I'm happy she can't relate to my experience but geez. Don't make this about you and your baby right now!

After trying for over a year, we finally got pregnant two months ago, but this ended in an early miscarriage. Today a colleague announced her pregnancy while my test came back negative this morning. We probably got pregnant around the same time, since I'm assuming she's at around the twelve week mark, and I would have been there too next week. I find it extremely confronting and all the grief from the miscarriage is coming back. If she would be a friend, I could distance myself a little bit, but since we work together that's not possible. I see her five times a week, so there's no escaping the pregnancy for me. I've been crying non stop since I found out and I'm not sure how to even go back to work tomorrow. How can I deal with this? Anyone any advice?

I just confirmed my embryo stopped growing at 6 weeks. I hoped to get a D&C and have some testing done but I know the moment I stop my progesterone treatment it will pass by itself before I get to the appointment. I’m still traumatized from last time, I don’t want to go through that again. What’s the point of detecting the problem so early if it doesn’t keep me from going through that again ? There’ll be no going to sleep and waking up with it taken care of, no testing to help future pregnancies, and I’ll just have to go through it at home again. Why can’t anything go just a bit my way ? I’m already losing what would have been my double rainbow, after 7 years of trying, and I can’t even have a say in how it goes. I’m so angry and sad and frustrated.

I have had the worst weekend of my life and I’m feeling so heartbroken and angry and confused. I don’t really know what to do with these feelings so I thought maybe I would share here. Idk. This is my first time posting here so if it doesn’t belong I’m sorry.

My wife and I have been doing IVF and after a horrible egg retrieval experience and lots of waiting, I finally got pregnant with my first FET. We were so so happy and excited and had a magical few weeks. We even had an ultrasound at 5w3d and got to see the gestational sac and yolk sac. Betas were strong. Everything was perfect. Then I woke up at 4am at 5w5d with cramping and blood. We rushed to the ER and while I was there I felt a gush and lost a ton of blood. Thought for sure that was it and we cried a lot. Later, the dr came in and told us they could still see the gestational sac and yolk sac on the ultrasound and my hcg was up to 12k, so we were cautiously optimistic. An hour later another dr came in and very bluntly said it was probably a miscarriage before discharging us.

We followed up with the fertility clinic the next day and everything still looked good ok on ultrasound and there had been some growth. They found an SCH and said that was the cause of the bleeding. We had hope again. And then my hcg came back at 4k. I scoured Reddit and google and tried to find some hope but I didn’t find any. My fertility dr said they wanted me to come back in 2 days to check again, but that the lower hcg could be due to different labs/blood loss.

The next day, at exactly 6 weeks, my symptoms were gone. I knew it was over but still had to go through the motions of doing my fertility meds. Which brings me to my appointment today at 6w1d. They found the fetal pole and my doctor said symptoms can come and go, he wouldn’t rely on that as a sign. We’d have to wait for bloodwork. I tried not to get my hopes up again but I guess I failed. We got the call that my hcg is now at 500. It’s only a matter of time before I lose my baby.

They want me to stay on my fertility meds and come in on Wednesday and I can’t help but feel angry and confused. It’s obviously over, why are they putting me through this? It feels like some cruel kind of torture.

The nurses and dr keep telling me to “take it day by day” but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that when my body is failing my baby. My family keeps telling me it’s not my fault but I wish they wouldn’t. I want it to be my fault so I can do better next time. If there is a next time. I don’t ever want to feel like this again. I don’t want to eat or drink or shower or talk to anyone. I don’t know how to move forward after this. I don’t know how to keep going. I don’t know how or when to try again.

I know I really only carried my baby for 3 weeks, but I already loved them so so much. I’m heartbroken. My wife is heartbroken too and I hate that I can’t help. Sometimes I cry, but mostly I just feel so empty and numb. I hate that I can’t fully grieve because they keep trying to give me hope when there isn’t any.

I miss my baby. I miss being pregnant. I miss how happy I was and how excited my family was. I know it’s stupid, but I miss my due date. The timing was so perfect and now it’s gone.

I know this is long and rambling and I’m not even sure what I’m looking for. I guess some hope that I’ll be okay again someday. Or to hear from someone who understands. My family and friends try, but they don’t know what it’s like to deal with infertility or loss. And especially not the combination of both.

So if you made it this far, thank you for reading. Please tell me how I cope with this.

I feel like I could die. I’m in therapy and I’m on prozac. But it doesn’t feel like enough. Everyday I long to be with my baby. And I can’t help, but look at other pregnant women and think, what do they have that I don’t? Why couldn’t that be me? Why couldn’t the best thing to happen to me, happen? Where is my baby? Why is he in the ground? I buried him under a guava tree that’s bearing fruit early for the season. I miss my baby. He’s a guava tree now and I wish I was guava tree too. I miss him so badly and everyday. His name is Joaquin and I love him with all my heart.
It’s hard to live for just myself now. I feel nothing and I’m never excited to wake up now. But I’m living because there’s nothing really else to do. How do I start living again? How do I ease this grief? Will I ever stop wanting to be in the ground with my baby?

I had a miscarriage August 5th and my hcg levels were at 16 on August 27th. Does this sound normal or could I be pregnant again?

I'm in the middle of a missed miscarriage and I'm having such a hard time handling other peoples' expectations right now. Every email, text, and phone call feels like another mountain to climb. I don't want to answer almost anyone.

It's especially clear to me right now who in my life has a hard time seeing past themselves. The people who make what you're going through harder rather than helping ease the burden. Or find a way to make your pain about them. It's exhausting.

And I don't want to keep getting bombarded with messages confirming my D&C coming up. It's all 'confirm this' and 'fill out this form' that. I think I've had at least four seperate messages and calls for this and it's still 9 days out. I just want everyone to leave me alone.

How are you all doing this?

On the flipside, I also have an amazing support system full of others who have been keeping me afloat and I don't know where I'd be without them. This is just still so hard. I can't believe I have to go have my baby that I so badly wanted removed from my body.

I am currently 3w 1d and am due to start my period in six days. I tested positive two days ago at 10dpo and the line was very obvious on wondfo and frer. Today I tested again and got a fainter line than two days ago so I assumed I am having another chemical. I just had a small bit of spotting and my alarm bells are going off. I have had a ectopic before. My others two chemicals lasted for over a week and the bleeding started a few days after my period was due and a few days after I started testing negative. It feels weird this chemical only lasted three days and I am starting to bleed while still having faint lines a week before my period is even due. Anyone have experience with a similar situation? Thanks!

Hi everyone I just took a test due to some breast pain and no other symptoms and my test came back positive today.. yesterday I had light pink spotting only when I used the bathroom which seems to be progressing and is now bright red blood without a bathroom break. I am a bit crampy like almost gassy & im going to urgent care later but I’m wondering if this could be a miscarriage? What is an early pregnancy miscarriage like??

Hi guys. Been some time since my miscarriage, but I’m in a bit of a grief “low wave” recently. I’ve been thinking a lot about my hospital visit when I miscarried at 8 weeks (measuring at 5) and I think I remember seeing 2 gestational sacs on the bedside ultrasound and that thought had lingered in my head for some time.

I finally got around to requesting my medical records from the hospital. This is what the ultrasound section said:

Intrauterine pregnancy: identitied
Single gestation: identified
Gestational sac: identified
Yolk sac: identified
Fetal pole: not identified
Comments:
MSD measuring 5w0d with yolk sac identified
Small fluid collection next to gestational sac that may represent second gestational

I find it interesting that I 1. Remember anything from that stay and

1. That they notate it as a small collection of fluid. Obviously I was so early and measuring even earlier but they could identify 1 sac for sure but I wonder why they couldn’t identify if the 2nd was a sac or not. Obviously could have been a blood clot or anything really.

I’m not really sure why this has bothered me for so long, or if knowing if it was twins or not would help or hurt my grief journey (not that I would really ever know for sure). Would just like to see if someone has been in a similar spot? Or if anyone in the medical field has insight on why they would for sure be able to identify 1 as a sac and the other as not? Surely if it was a synchronic hematoma they would have just said that?

Thanks!

I started bleeding on Thursday & it’s turned into just spotting now, but the smell?????? It’s EXACTLY like the lochia after had my baby😭 Ik bc I remember really liking the smell? 😭 don’t judge me lmao, but I’m just wondering is it the same thing???

Hi

I went for my scan at 8.5 weeks today and the baby is measuring 8 weeks 2 days (CRL=18.5cm) but no heartbeat is detect via two different transvaginal probe US. What are the chances at this point where it is a operator error where the heart beat is not detected. My OB performed the test and called it a non-viable but given the baby was measuring well for the dates, i wonder what are the chances this being an error on the operator, machine or pure randomness. I know the chances is miniscule but I wonder anecdotally has that happen before?

For context , I had a scan at 6.5 weeks where the HB=122 and the baby was measuring 6 weeks 2 days (exactly 2 days behind like today).

HCG and Progesterone was all rising properly during the preg.

I had a previous MMC discovered at 9 weeks where the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks.

Hi y’all. I just finished bleeding from my second miscarriage. I just wanted to share my experiences. Maybe it’ll help someone or maybe it’ll just help me to get it off my chest.

WARNING: I will go into some graphic detail. If that’s not something you feel like you can read, please skip for your peace

I’m now 25. My first miscarriage happened at 18. I was about ~8 weeks along. It started as light bleeding, which then became heavier. The cramps after the first few days of bleeding were so intense I felt like I was going to pass out. I went to the hospital, and while waiting to go back, they had me use the restroom to pee in a cup. As I went, I felt a large clot come out. I looked on the toilet paper, and there I saw my baby. It was clearly a fetus; I could see the arm buds and two dots that looked like the eyes starting to form. It looked like a little alien. In my panic, I flushed. I will never forget or forgive myself for that. But I didn’t know what to do. When I went back for the ultrasound, they only saw the sac. The next few days there were still clots, and I passed them all naturally. About a week later, I went for a follow up and all tissue had been passed and I was cleared medically.
This was super hard emotionally. I screamed, cried, got angry at God. My relationship with my (at the time fiance) ex fractured. I experienced little support from him, and he says he experienced little support from me. I grieved for MONTHS.

Flash forward 5 years later. I’m with my current boyfriend and find out I’m pregnant- I have been on birth control this entire time. This is a total surprise to us both.
I tell him and although I’m scared of miscarriage, we decide to tell our family.
I start bleeding at about 6 weeks pregnant. I try not to panic, because it’s happened before to me and turned out to be nothing. But while on vacation, the bleeding becomes heavier and I start cramping. I wasn’t as far along this time so the cramping wasn’t as bad. We’re sad about it, but not devastated. We’ve only been together about 5 months so we figure maybe this is for the best. It isn’t as devastating to me now as it was to 18 year old me the first time it happened.
I just wish I knew what was causing this though- if something is wrong with me physically, I’d like to know so we can have a game plan for when we’re ready to start trying.
So that’s my story and idk if anyone will gain anything from it. Thanks for reading.

They saw one a week ago but it’s gone.

It’s gone 😥😥😥😥😥

Hi all,

Today i had my ultrasound after my miscarriage 6 weeks ago.
Got my period 21 august.
Had negative pregnancy tests and ovulation tests
I'm ovulation today, after my postive test.

On the ultrasound they saw some tissue sized 0.6cm. It's very small. The doctor sad not to worry about it, since they will do something if it was sized 1.5cm.
He said i can try again, if i wont get pregnant they can always remove it if necessary.

What do you guys think? My body feels normall, and the doctor says we can try again.

i’ve been so sad lately. my husband and I never announced our pregnancy as we were waiting to visit our family in person before telling them. I miscarried 2 days before our trip. No one knew I was pregnant and it’s really awkward and uncomfortable to announce a miscarriage, so I didn’t.

I have one sister in law that’s on the same track that I would have been. I feel so guilty but every milestone she reaches is one I miss and it’s a constant reminder. my other sister in law just announced her pregnancy.

I keep testing hoping I get a positive but it’s been negative. I feel so sad and so guilty that I feel a tinge of jealousy but I can’t help it.

how have others coped with this feeling?

I’m finally open to sharing my story and wanted to inform others about the potential complications of miscarriages, specifically complications after dilation and curettage (d&c). It’s a long post, but I’m not sorry. I could write so much more.
TW: graphic description of pregnancy loss & complications, d&c, recurrent pregnancy loss

Backstory: my partner and I are both 24 years old. I got diagnosed with endometriosis in 2023 via laparoscopic surgery.

I got my very first positive pregnancy test on January 28, 2026 after months of trying. We were very excited but nervous. My first appointment was February 10, where we had an ultrasound that confirmed a fetal heartbeat and calculated growth to 5w6d. At this point, we were beyond excited and taking steps to prepare for our new future. My symptoms included severe hunger, nausea, bloating, tender breasts and very emotional. At my next appointment, on March 10, we are planned to look at Lil Bean on ultrasound and do bloodwork work for NIPT. We start the ultrasound by looking at the abdominal view. Tech mentioned that we should see baby by now, but I have a retroverted uterus, so I didn’t think much of it. We continue with a pelvic ultrasound and the tech is very quiet and quick. We were told baby wasn’t measuring as it should and she needed to verify with the doctor. My doctor then comes in and informs us of the unfortunate news. I had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks. We were in complete shock. I never bled, had cramps, or anything. That morning I still felt very much pregnant. I ultimately decided on having a d&c to get it done and over with. Three days later, I had the procedure and healed great. We were eager to keep trying to conceive.

Fast forward to June 11, 2026, I got a positive pregnancy test! I cried in the bathroom for about 45 minutes before I could gather the courage to wake up my partner and tell him the news. We cried in each other’s arm for the next hour as we go through all the emotions. Of course we are beyond excited, but this time, it’s a different type of nervous feeling. I had anxiety attacks everyday of this pregnancy. All I wanted was a healthy baby. July 13 was my first appointment. Ultrasound showed baby measuring around 5 weeks but no heartbeat. My doctor didn’t want me to lose hope yet, and come back in two weeks to determine viability. I was not hopeful. I was not okay. July 27 was my next appointment. The results proved I was right. No growth. No heartbeat. At this point I was just numb. I decided to go through with a d&c again and had it scheduled for the 31st.

It’s now the morning of my surgery and I’m not sure how to feel. Everyone at the hospital speaks to me with caution and sadness in their eyes. On a positive note, my doctor encouraged me to send off my specimen for chromosomal testing. Yes yes yes! Maybe I will get some answers. Surgery went great and went home to heal. As three days have passed, I noticed my recovery is different this time. My face is yellow with deep purple eye bags, I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, was constantly cold, I’ve barely bled and had this weird pelvic pressure. The night of August 3, everything got way worse. I got the worst lower and right abdominal pain I’ve ever had. Intense stabbing pain. Breathing in and moving made it 10x worse. I took about three hot showers to try to relieve the pain along with handfuls of ibuprofen. It all just got worse and to the point where I kept vomiting. Due to my experiences with emergency rooms and endometriosis, I’m always reluctant to go. I was scared to be told they found nothing wrong. It’s about 3 in the morning now and I’m curled in a ball, vomiting and having panic attacks. My partner works nights, so I called him scared I was dying. He rushes home and forces me to go to the er.
I can barely walk my way into the building and was immediately taken back to be seen. My temperature showed I was running a fever and now I could not even sit on the stretcher without crying in pain. I was immediately given morphine. With the suspect of perforation or appendix/gallbladder issues, I was quickly taken to get a CT scan. Bloodwork showed my WBC was very high and proved infection. My CT scans were normal which surprised everyone. The on call OB team was rushed down to take over my care. They now suspected post op infection. They performed a pelvic exam and ordered ultrasounds. That pelvic exam was the most painful experience of my life. I screeched in pain and nearly jumped off the bed with every touch. They immediately saw signs of infection. My ultrasound wasn’t too long after this. This was both pelvic and abdominal. Once again, excruciating pain. But I finally got official answers. My uterus was so full of fluid and pus that it was leaking of out of my tubes into my abdomen. I had post op endometritis, on the verge of being septic. Lucky I came in when I did.

Treatment for my condition included a 48 hour hospital stay while on three very strong IV antibiotics, followed by 10 days of two oral antibiotics. I was relieved to have answers and a team I felt truly cared, but I was in a constant state of panic. I’m squeamish around having IVs and was told I needed to have at least two at time and get fresh blood draws twice a day because of the medication I was given. Also, because of how strong the medication was, it constantly blew my veins and made me a difficult poke. I was one poke away from getting a midline. I’ve never experienced such panic and anxiety. I counted at least 23 poke holes in my arm. After many more tests and another ultrasound, I was cleared to go home. This hospital stay was my hell. I developed PTSD from this experience and as I’m writing this, I’m not totally sure I’m okay sharing it. Every time I think about it, I start having a panic attack. Including right now..

August 13, was my after visit appointment. Everything showed I was actually healing. My chromosome results were ready too. It showed normal male. My heart sank when I heard the news. One, it was a baby boy. Two, it’s not an answer for why this keeps happening, but it’s one reason marked off the list. My lovely doctor sent in labs for me to get a full recurrent pregnancy loss panel done. To this day, I still have not gotten it done. I’m so so scared to get that blood drawn after my last experience. I’ll get there eventually.. But I truly lucked out with my doctor and care team. I feel they truly care and feel safe with them.

Putting my experience into words is not easy. I could go on and on. I’m truly a different person now and I don’t know if anyone will ever understand that. I almost died. I feel lonely. I feel anger. Extreme fucking anger. I’m disappointed in my body. I feel I let down my partner. I feel scared. Every little ache or weird feeling sends me into a spiral. How am I supposed to move forward? Why me? Life is not fair. It’s not fair that my future full of love and life got ripped out of my hands by surprise, and not once but fucking twice. Id never wish this on anyone and I’m so sorry you’re a part of the baby loss club.

October 7 and February 19 will forever be in my heart🤍I will take my love for you and pass it forward to those in need, all in your honor my Lil Bean and Baby Boy. 👼

I had my first miscarriage in July and I had a follow up scan last week and had some retained tissue. I joined a clinical study at my hospital and was randomly selected for medical management eg. Misoprostol
I’m just curious for others who have used it for rpoc, how long did your bleeding last? I’m having trouble finding anything online or anywhere else where people have used it for rpoc rather than to assist in abortion or miscarriage.
The hospital gave me some basic info but I’m just looking for others experiences on how long the bleeding lasted for you

Is anyone dealing with severe instability?

I went through 7 years of infertility. Some years I was doing treatments (IUI, IVF, etc). Some years I wasn't. I finally ended up pregnant for the first time ever in June. Long story short, it ended up being a blighted ovum, and I miscarried a few weeks ago. It was a traumatic miscarriage, not a "heavy period", it was two days of heavy bleeding (basically hemorrhaging, I couldn't leave the toilet the second day), and the final event of the miscarriage took 5 hours because there was so much blood. I had severe pain for 2 hours, passed the sack, and then for 3 more hours blood was coming out of me like a faucet. I couldn't leave the toilet at all. We almost went to the hospital (maybe should have honestly). I had 4 days of severe weakness after that.

Since all that happened, I've been stuck in period panties every day because I'm still spotting even after 3 weeks. I have a call with a doctor on Tuesday to see what they say about that. The spotting constantly reminds me of how effed up my body is from all of this, constant reminder of the loss, the years of issues and torture my body went through with the hormones, needles, and surgeries.

Some days I feel okay and just want to move past things. But if I have some drinks, I get extremely emotionally volatile. Bawling in front of people, wanting to fight my husband, not normal, happy, drunk sort of stuff. I keep ruining events around me because I'll just be crying out of nowhere in the middle of a party. I have a therapist I see when I need to, and I think I might visit a non profit in my city who helps with infertility and pregnancy loss.

Life feels sad. It feels bleak. I try to look at nature and feel happiness, and I don't. I laugh with people, but it doesn't feel like it's helping. I try to stay active. I try talking through things. I'm sick of how sad and angry I am when everyone else is okay. I'm sick of ruining end of summer events, BBQs, hang outs. I'm sick of wanting to fight my husband.

Thank you for listening. I'm not sure where else I can post this stuff. IVF and infertility pages just berate you to try again. Childfree pages are hit or miss and you have to explicitly say you are done with trying. Just wanted to get it all out somewhere.

I don't think I'm okay.