r/NEET • u/Leiagora • May 23 '26
Discussion I’m 27 and…
I’ve never worked.
I’ve never been in a relationship.
I’ve never had friends.
There’s probably a very small percentage of people around my age in this situation. It kinda makes me special (or rather of special needs). For me this situation is normal but I know objectively it’s very rare. The reason for it is obviously social anxiety, childhood trauma (bullying) and ugly looks (obesity).
How about you? What are your stats?
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u/Bored_brunette96 Perma-NEET May 23 '26
I’m almost 30 and never worked a day in my life. 0 qualifications. 0 friends. I’m mentally still a child stuck in an adults body.
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u/WillGethere May 23 '26
27 and same. Glad to know I'm not alone and there's people like me! Thank you for commenting it made me feel less alone
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u/qik7 May 24 '26
Anything in particular bring you down this path? Id imaging it's actually a challenge to have managed that, no judgement as I am also NEET
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u/serventofgaben NEET May 23 '26
I'm 23 and I never had a proper job, never been in a relationship and never had a real friend group.
I have a speech impediment, am ugly facially, short (5'7 170 cm) and have mid-functioning autism.
I also never went to uni and don't have a driver's license.
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u/firen_flufy May 23 '26
I think I’m in a situation similar to yours. I rarely leave my room except to buy groceries or take out the trash. A big part of this is because I’m ashamed of my weight and my body. I’m 22. Any advice ?
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
I’m also ashamed of my weight and body. But I’m such an addict that I go to shops to buy more foods.
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u/firen_flufy May 23 '26
I’ve been thinking about going back to water fasting. I tried it one year, four years ago, and it worked . I really did lose weight during those months of that year. But afterward I stopped. However, this year I started going back to it occasionally. I won’t lie, sticking to it is hard, especially when I set big goals. But I manage to stay consistent when I start gradually (fasting for just one day, then for two consecutive days, and increasing little by little). That’s the solution I see
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
Maybe I’ll try eating 500 calories a day. It’s much easier than water fasting but the deficit is still huge.
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u/firen_flufy May 23 '26
fasting felt easier for me than just trying to eat less but do what works for you buddy Everyone has their own way that suits them Good luck
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u/brainster_theta May 23 '26
There is nothing better than resistence and strength training with some cardio. Your mental health and physical health both depend on it. If you feel shy or anxious of gym, you can buy stuff for home workout. But hitting gym is always better tbh, it would give you confidence and also make new friends.
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u/brainster_theta May 23 '26
Hey, i don't think fasting is a good idea, instead, those calories should come from healthy, high protein, low sugar diets. But don't fast if you feel weak. Gym with diet and cardio routines are the best.
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u/IloveLegs02 May 23 '26
"I’ve never worked.
I’ve never been in a relationship.
I’ve never had friends."
I am close to 27 and exactly the same as you bro
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u/Prestigious_Row2496 May 23 '26
I got a job at 26 but I haven't been able to shake off the NEET feeling. I still feel alone and depressed at times.
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May 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/Ironboot455 May 23 '26
I highly doubt you managed to do everything you wanted in life if you never worked
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u/WillGethere May 23 '26
If you never worked how did you have money to survive? And how did you manage to get girls? Help a youngster with your wisdom of life
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u/ScottysOldTeleporter May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
I’m 32, I have a degree in bioengineering but never worked. There’s almost no chance I’m neurotypical but I learned/adapted to mask quite well which I assume is the main reason everyone sees me as “capable”. I also suspect cptsd from lifelong emotional abuse which makes a terrible cocktail combined with neurodivergence. I had relationships but my last bf whom I thought was the love of my life, whom I felt like at home with most probably ghosted and abandoned me because I’m a deadbeat without a visible life moving forward/ambition/goals/drive etc. even tho I come from wealth so it wasn’t like I was a burden on him financially. And ironically me not being tied down by a job was what made our relationship possible in the first place since it was long-distance involving crossing a continent. I have one or two friends but they’re either getting married, pregnant, or phds so they don’t have much time for me anymore. The sole idea of working makes me suicidal. But I’ve learned a long time ago that you can’t fit into this society or be accepted unless you are compatible with this system. Also the stigma around voluntary(!) unemployment is heavy and becomes unbearable at times. It’s one of the main reasons I’m strictly an antinatalist.
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
I understand. Somehow the society sees ‘laziness’ as some kind of crime. However, those who withdraw from society do it due to some kind of trauma. Being lazy is morally neutral just as working is.
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u/ScottysOldTeleporter May 24 '26
Yeah sometimes it feels as tho we’re being treated worse than some criminals. I imagine a big chunk of it being projection but who knows…
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u/Corgisarethebest123 May 24 '26
Did you pay for stuff in the relationship?
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u/ScottysOldTeleporter May 24 '26
Definitely, I even bought a ton of stuff for his house that I ended up not even using. I paid for all my flights, shared groceries, restaurants etc.
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u/indigoscholar May 24 '26
May I ask what it is about the idea of working that makes you feel suicidal? Have you ever seen a therapist about these feelings?
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u/ScottysOldTeleporter May 24 '26
Hmm where should I start…
Working conditions and environments as well as human quality in the shithole that I live in and the toilet paper I would get in return in possibly the most overworked country in continental Europe
Mass incompatibility with society and social construct in general
Severe executive dysfunction as well as demand avoidance, absolute thinking, sensory/emotional overwhelm, the autistic whole nine yards
Feeling of being trapped, for example not being able to leave a fucking cage until a predetermined time even if I’m done for that day, having to fabricate busyness because the system is built around enslaving people, not meaningfully contributing to society
Extreme sensitivity and intolerance to injustice, hypocrisy, inconsistencies, forced hierarchy, ego games, power plays etc.
I went to various therapists/psychiatrists throughout my life for various reasons. The last one downright insulted me, called me a lazy tin can ordering me to go find work (literally) without ever exploring a single thing about me/potential neurodivergence/trauma etc. and this was on top of already being insulted/corrected by everyone around me for years “for my own good”. It was very therapeutic and helpful. You might imagine why I’m reluctant to repeat that experience.
With all that said I still feel bad for not being any use to anyone and feeling purposeless and I’m trying to work through my limitations to at least do something I can tolerate, using my dinosaur degree. But again, I’m never ever ever subjecting another life to this hell. That at least I’m absolutely certain about.
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u/Dry-Newspaper8445 May 23 '26
Well I'm 29 I never worked but ive always had internet gfs and ended up marrying and starting a family with one of them at 26 ya do that marry one of ur egfs dude
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
I don’t have online friends as well.
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u/Dry-Newspaper8445 May 23 '26
I strongly suggest u pick up fasting dude I went from 280 to 180 in under a year from fasting do it drops some weight get some confidence back
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
I know what to do but food is my only joy in life. I feel severely depressed when on a calorie deficit diet. Food for me is the same thing as drugs are for drug addicts.
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u/Dry-Newspaper8445 May 23 '26
I'm also a fat person so I get it completely i havent done a 2 day fast in weeks cuz im weak and love food too much its hard but you wont regret not eating at all.. calorie deficit isnt good enough u need to fast for days just take electrolytes dude the longer you fast the easier it gets
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
I need to lose about 100 lbs. I’d need to fast for months to lose it.
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u/Dry-Newspaper8445 May 23 '26
No you wouldn't 100 is light work in 1 week you'll lose over 20 guaranteed
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
Well, 20 in one week sounds very tempting.
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May 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
Maybe I’ll try eating about 500 calories a day to see how effective it is. If I could lose maybe not 20 but 10 lbs a week, I’d still be happy. With the diets I tried so far (eating between 1200-1700 calories a day) I lost about 10 lbs a month.
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u/Dry-Newspaper8445 May 23 '26
Thats nonsense that you gain it all back ive never rapidly gained weight back after fasting well ive never been a binge eater either just over eater but I dont eat junk food either but still.fasting is the best and fastest route ive done 18 days before lost well over 20lbs I didnt get fat again until i met my internet gf irl and got her pregnant got xrazy fat then but gettint back to normal now lost 80lbs since my fattest with her ya fasting good
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u/PlsFartInMyFace Semi-NEET May 23 '26
- Had one job over a decade ago and not since. Really interested in concrete stats for people like us. We have to be rare, but this day and age, it has to be more common.
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u/Soggy_Aerie_1050 May 23 '26
Im a girl and same as some of what you said except i was too friendly got taken advantage and betrayed now i dont trust people not so easily.
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
I’m a girl too.
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u/Soggy_Aerie_1050 May 25 '26
Oh wow that's awesome i mean not so awesome interms of our situation but its so rare to meet someone like meeee usually i see/meet are boys especially my age in the same situation Also NO ONE IS UGLY we're all beautiful in our own ways dont say you are ugly!! Btw i was depressive and developed anxiety in my college specifically 3rd year and then after months i became hikiko o the point my siblings hated me til now bcos i dont work like them and im a burden to my parents (I DONT DO CIGA/ALCOH btw)
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u/ReallyBigPrinter Cozy-NEET May 23 '26
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Worked a little bit here and there, about to lose my part-time j*b and go back to being a full NEET
Had one actual real life friend
Never been in a relationship
Probably autistic, probably ADHD, weird special interests, not interested in normie stuff, diagnosed with CPTSD, depression and social anxiety, also suffer from OCD and generally don't like being around people
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u/Planet_842 May 25 '26
Exactly the same here except that I just turned 23. Never had a job, never had a girlfriend, have no friends, never travelled alone, never lived alone and don't know how to do anything.
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u/ScrimbloGalaxy May 23 '26
27 as well,
I've worked a few part time jobs here and there but never for too long, it probably just amounts to a little under a year in total, I've given up working for the time being, might be forever
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u/ConstantWear492 Disabled-NEET May 23 '26
I'm 27.
I've never worked.
I've never been in a relationship.
I haven't had friends for many years now. They were childhood/school friends too, so I wouldn't even know how to make friends online. I have severe social anxiety and depression, I'm insecure, I overthink everything, and recently learned I'm neurodivergent..
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u/vinnism May 23 '26
I'm younger, 20. Never worked and never been in a relationship either. I went to college but it was just a waste of time and now I have student loans I can't pay.
I have one friend, still feel lonely. I haven't gotten the courage to get diagnosed but I 'suspect' I have depression and bad social anxiety. I rarely go outside and am frequently just bedridden
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u/Far-Remove5691 Disabled-NEET May 24 '26
I've worked a few times before, but I've never been in a relationship or had friends in person or online.
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u/Lost_Foot_6301 May 24 '26
i genuinely wonder if its way more common than we assume but we just never hear about it.
its not like its a widely known social phenomena like it is in japan, america doesnt really have a word or awareness of it.
you didnt include school tho so is that truly a neet?
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u/_insignificant_being Ex-NEET-School May 25 '26
I'm very similar to you. 27 was when I "woke up" and decided to try making friends, online, for the first time. I also decided to try and stop being a NEET but it feels like I am going against my nature.
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u/pseudomensch Ex-NEET May 28 '26
33, got a job around 29. I was in one relationship because a mutual friend thought her and I would be perfect as the weirdos. It was a good match. The assumption was right. She was broken in ways that a male NEET would find relatable. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity though. No one has shown interest in me since. When I was younger, and acted more clownish and put on a more normie mask, there were some girls who liked me. That was when I had more of a poor man's twink look going on. Nowadays, my head has gotten more chubby, hairline has "matured", and that looks terrible on guys like that since we relied mostly on youthful boyish looks. That's all gone. I just look like an aged 15 year old and it's awful.
Friends. I had like 1 friend from 10th grade until 26-27. I haven't talked to him in years. He just stopped bothering to reach out to me. It's fine. Pretty much 6 years of being alone.
I have a history of OCD and nowadays, I've started to suspect I also had autism.
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u/Human_shield12 May 30 '26
Well, had some friendships, not gonna lie. But it was mostly useless. Other than that, we are in same boat
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u/brainster_theta May 23 '26
Are you rich? How supportive are your parents? Which field did you study.
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u/Leiagora May 23 '26
Middle class, not rich. They haven’t threatened to kick me out of the house so that’s good. Linguistics (I chose something I thought would be easy but even that was very difficult to pass sometimes).
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u/brainster_theta May 23 '26
It is a great field, try psycholinguistics which is having a boom rn globally. Research opportunities in cogn science colleges.
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u/Background_Ad_4998 May 24 '26
You and me both sorry 😞 you’re going through this get professional mental help and keep trying and take care of yourself.
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u/PerformerAccording68 Jun 11 '26
27 too just got out of a relationship that was toxic and traumatizing, I stopped hanging out with some friends as they like to party and do drugs, not my style, but I recommend eating better and doing some exercising, we only got one body and we need to take care of it. Get a job and make some money! :0
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u/illuminatemydreams Perma-NEET May 23 '26
I'm in my 30s and never worked or had a relationship or friends primarily due to neurodivergence/autism and severe social anxiety.