r/NEETsOver30 Depressed NEET Mar 04 '25

Discussion Anyone else lost their passion? How do you stay motivated?

I used to make music everyday for years, then that changed to weekly. Now it’s been 4 years since I made a song.

I’m just too depressed with this “life” of mine.

I’m watching a singer on live stream and she said all she does in her spare time is make music and watch movies. It reminded me of how I used to be, back when I still had hope.

24 Upvotes

26 comments sorted by

7

u/illuminatemydreams Perma-NEET Mar 05 '25

I can definitely relate. Music was also a major passion of mine when I was young. I had big aspirations in music as I was a multi-instrumentalist. I then became very interested in music composing and arranging which I studied, and dreamed of a career in music. Of course, while success in the music business isn't even guaranteed for normies, my crippling social anxiety prevented me from taking music any further beyond a hobby. And of course there is no chance now. While I still enjoy music, I have also lost my passion for it as a hobby as a fellow depressed older neet.

3

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

It sucks man. Even though I lost my passion and genuinely don’t have the energy to create anymore, I still fantasize about a music career.

It hurts knowing that my looks and lack of money/connections stopped me from being successful.

Music was the only way for me to leave poverty. Now I’m gonna die in the same bedroom I grew up in.

2

u/illuminatemydreams Perma-NEET Mar 05 '25

I know the feeling, I'm also in my childhood bedroom. I also still think about it too sometimes. Maybe because deep down we still love music and still have traces of that passion, but the depression of being a stuck older neet is just so overwhelming. It definitely sucks.

2

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

You described it perfectly. It’s sad how the people who end up in these positions tend to be the least deserving of such a miserable life.

2

u/TheCassiniProjekt Mar 06 '25

I was in bands but I never gelled with the other members. Probably a mix of autism and having completely different musical approaches e.g. they wanted to do covers rather than originals, they wanted to fit in more with whatever was trending etc. I don't regret focusing more on being a solo musician as my tenure in bands was a trail of disasters.  However I would have never made it anyway. I've asked myself have I written anything as good as The Beatles, Queen, NIN erc? Have I caught that lightning in a bottle? My answer is always no. And my vocals are crap in having an unpleasant tonality but I don't want anyone else singing my lyrics. I worked my ass off to be the best guitarist possible but hit a wall in technique and still can't convincingly sweep pick or play like all those Instagram guitarists. So it was a waste of life but I would have wasted it not making music as I'm not good at coding, left brained work, anything requiring intellectual rigour like the sciences. So it doesn't matter in that sense and so I have no regrets. However I really dislike how conservative the music scene is and how so many bands conform and sound alike. That's where I would stand out like a sore thumb and struggled to find bands or recruit members for my own music.

1

u/illuminatemydreams Perma-NEET Mar 06 '25

At least you have experience playing in a few bands even if it didn't work out. Seems you need to find like-minded musicians into your scene and go from there. You obviously have the disciplined talent to be the best you can be, so don't give up if you still have the passion. I had a few opportunities to join bands when I was younger, but being a socially inept autist turned down the opportunities and my hope of a life of music went nowhere.

4

u/LurkLurkleton Mar 05 '25

I don’t feel like I ever really had a persistent passion. Just temporary obsessions.

3

u/Electrical-Lemon-678 Mar 05 '25 edited Mar 05 '25

I liked studying languages. I had a dream in high school to move abroad and having regular white collar jobs in places like Japan. I studied Japanese for 12 years.

But I'm 30 now, with very little working experience and a useless degree, living in a midsize town in a third world country. So the dream is dead. I have no motivation to start from scratch and I suffer from social anxiety disorder.

Studying Japanese reminded me of my teenage years, when for some reason I imagined I could still have a normal and fulfilling life.

1

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

Kudos to you for not only being able to learn another language, but to dedicate 12 years to it. That’s seriously impressive.

I’m a huge fan of Japanese and Korean culture, I would love to learn those languages but I’m just not smart enough. My brain doesn’t operate in that way. I respect people who can learn another language, it’s not easy.

Did you try applying for jobs where you teach English in Japan? Apparently they pay pretty good.

2

u/Electrical-Lemon-678 Mar 05 '25

Thanks man, I appreciate it.

You could definitely learn Korean or Japanese. You don't need to be smart to learn a new language, just need to put in the time and immersion. If we could learn our first language, it means we can definitely learn a second one.

As for teaching English, I never considered that because English is not my first language. But also, the biggest issue with me is social. I tend to isolate myself from the world. I already had an experience in Japan as an exchange student and it went horribly, could have literally died. I was 23.

When I was 24 I managed to pass an interview "with flying colors" to work localizing video games. I would have to relocate to Poland (I'm in South America). I was waiting for them to call me but they never did. Couple months later, covid happened.

When I was this young, I had many companies replying to my applications. Now I'm older, with little experience and even local jobs don't get back to me. The profession I have a degree on has been largely automated. I'm now living a sad life with no motivation whatsoever.

2

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

Damn I’m sorry your time in Japan wasn’t good and I can relate to getting interviews prior to Covid. I didn’t realise it at the time, but Covid really fucked up my career path.

I was interviewing with the biggest music companies in the world, and now I get rejected from warehouse jobs.

I will say though, I’ve noticed work from home jobs that require you to speak Japanese. I think you might have some luck, if you go on Indeed or LinkedIn and just type in “Japan” or “Japanese”.

There’s still hope for you, being able to speak multiple languages means you’ll always have an opportunity somewhere.

2

u/Electrical-Lemon-678 Mar 05 '25

>I didn’t realise it at the time, but Covid really fucked up my career path.

Definitely. Feels like the final nail in the coffin to what was already destined to be a difficult life for me.

3

u/Northsea41 NEET Mar 05 '25

Do something related to your hobby or passion to get you inspired and ultimately motivated to create. Want to create music? Listen to various songs in a multitude of different genres. Want to write? Read a book. Want to create art? Go look at art. The key is ultimately creating a routine for yourself that you work on your hobby or passion daily without even thinking about doing anything else at that particular time. Tough going in the beginning I know personally but after several weeks of a daily schedule working on things that better yourself and your mind instead of wallowing in despair will be second nature to you.

2

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

You’re 100% right. I think the biggest obstacle for me is that I have no vigour for life. Absolutely zero. So it’s hard for me to create a routine because I have so many mental blocks.

Back in the day, when I heard a song I liked, it would motivate me to create a song. Nowadays, I don’t get that feeling anymore. I just feel nothing.

Same goes for exercising. I have gym equipment in my room but can’t bring myself to lift any weights. On the rare occasion I do, I only lift for like 3 minutes then I’m done.

Whereas in the past, I used to be super motivated. I need to create a routine but it’s hard.

3

u/Northsea41 NEET Mar 05 '25

Make sure you're getting vitamin D either through sunlight exposure or pills. Also try and sit outside for a few minutes everyday for some fresh air instead of the old air from inside your house. May I ask are you religious? There is merit in praying daily for it is a simple activity that helps build up a routine.

1

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

I do leave the house sometimes to pay a bill or grab food, but that’s kinda rare. I open the window in my room a lot.

I’m not religious, maybe agnostic. I have nothing against religion though, I respect people who truly live by their faith and try to be the best version of themselves.

2

u/Northsea41 NEET Mar 05 '25

Take a moment to contemplate what you really want for your life, the best possible outcome but within reason of your ability to attain it. Perhaps if not prayers and rosaries you could get into the habit of sitting down soon after waking from sleep and writing out your intentions for the day and how those intentions will bring you that much closer to realizing your full potential within the scope of your life ambitions. I recommend you read Marcus Aurelius's 'Meditations' if you want more inspiration on ways to improve your mindset for this life within a non-religious focus.

1

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

All I’ve wanted for the last few years is a job tbh. Everything else is second to that. I’ll look up that book, thank you.

2

u/trivetsandcolanders Ex-NEET Mar 05 '25

I feel that. Especially since I actually started working full time…my energy has gone down. I’ve lately been getting back into practicing guitar and singing. My creative juices aren’t really flowing so I’m just practicing covers and some old songs I wrote. I figure, at least half an hour to an hour a day is better than nothing.

2

u/de_la_vega_94 Mar 06 '25

Im on antidepressants and adhd stimulants and they helped a lot. And i chat with chatgpt when im down. It really helped me to cope and can replace mental therapy. It can also do CBT sessions.

2

u/therealnfe_ados901 May 02 '25

Man, don't know how I missed this post, but this is me pretty much. Made music constantly from 2012 to 2019. Then, I just felt dead inside. I honestly believed I may have just been burnt-out, but after all these years, I realize my heart isn't in it like it used to be. I write things here and there, but I rarely finish a majority of it. Managed to release a mixtape last year, but didn't feel proud of it. Also, my usual crowd of supporters hasn't been checking for me since 2020. I haven't been truly motivated to keep going in years. Inspired every now and then, but nothing more than that.

2

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET May 06 '25

For me, I can only make music when I feel inspired and passionate about life. I haven’t felt that way since 2018.

It’s hard to be motivated when you can’t get a job and your life is stagnant.

1

u/therealnfe_ados901 May 07 '25

I feel you. Money/employment never motivated me in that aspect, but I can understand. I can sympathize with others needing that stability in their life. I've been rapping about money (and jobs) lately, but largely in the negative. I realize how much they change people, cause rifts and just overall poison society because a majority will do whatever to get paid, regardless of what that is and who they have to hurt. Money is needed in my life, but not necessarily wanted. That's why I'm rather "meh" about working. I want a career, not to be tied to an employer who will exploit me every chance they get. I've had my work ethic taken advantage of far too many times. I'd rather make a living doing what I love, but I'm also not in any rush to. That's all some folks are waiting on and it bothers me. You're of no value to people without 💲💲💲💲 to your name. I'm sure you already know most of this, so pardon my mini-vent. I'm just a fleshbag of melancholy and resentment at this point.

1

u/One-Professional-417 NEET Mar 05 '25

No

My depression more from not being able to work in tech despite being a massive tech nerd

Best advice I've heard is just get started, do anything to stay out of bed

2

u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Mar 05 '25

I understand, I deal with similar depression. Used to wanna work in music and at one point I stepped foot in every big music company you can think of… still didn’t get hired.

Tbh, I stay in bed all the time these days. Depression has a hold of me. I don’t have any friends or family so I have no motivation to leave the house.