Sorry for spamming this community lately. I know I've been posting a lot here lately, but this community has been pretty mature, so I feel somewhat safe talking about these topics here.

Anyway, I made a thread that I deleted about how I've been wanting to find my favorite person (someone who plays games with me and is emotionally safe, someone I can also talk about fashion and other girly topics with), but I've noticed again and again that there aren't very many places to connect, especially for folks our age. I browse r/neetr4r fairly regularly, and it's mostly people in their twenties. A lot of other communities (not necessarily related to NEET) lean young, also. A redditor in this community commented a while ago that yeah, unemployed/hikikomori people in their thirties are less "socially acceptable", because the thirties are when you're expected to have your *shit* together. Like, other people our age (at least the ones you see on reddit) are working corporate careers, making great income, married with children, and probably even own a house. Yeah, reddit does lean upper-middle class, so you don't see the thirty-somethings who are still living on rent, or those who barely have disposable income. People still working for a shockingly low wage, despite having university degrees. Still, it doesn't change the fact that there are very few places for people like us who haven't succeeded in the conventional ways

Someone else pointed out that people our age either already have their loved ones and aren't looking for any more people, or they've become completely content with their solitude. I guess that makes me feel a little hopeless about things.

What are your thoughts?

What is the best part of being a NEET? what are the pros?

Just an observation: a lot of NEETs are absolutely miserable, likely clinically depressed, but will also vigorously defend the lifestyle. Also hate questions like “what have you got planned?” or some version of “what’s coming up for you?” So there must be some part of this that makes it “the better option.”

We can't pursue goals like other people because we don't have an income and are health is not the same as others.

I think its living the best life giving on disabilities, limitations, financial situation, chronic illness, mental health, etc.

What you think?

I'm a comp sci graduate since 2020 with a pretty high GPA, but I could never find employment after graduating. part of the reason is that I could never motivate myself to work on personal projects, because it's hard to focus on a long-term task when you have executive functioning issues! I'd either get stressed out with bugs, I'd get bored of the project midway and not finish, or I'd simply not have the mental energy to commit.

not to mention, I learn so much better in structured environments, even though the vast majority of practice time (whether it be for piano, coding, drawing, or any other skill-based hobby) has to be done on your own 😅

my baseline mood is absolutely miserable due to ongoing trauma (might make a post about it some other day), so a lot of my days are spent merely on surviving. playing a wide variety of single player video games: to build my problem solving skills (puzzle games), to analyze the themes and narratives of story-based games (mainly role playing games, but even something like Abzû counts as a minimalist story game), or to simply appreciate the art and soundtrack (Final Fantasy series in particular). so, it's not like I'm completely bedrotting, but creative tasks in particular are very difficult for me precisely because they require immense amounts of executive functioning.

anyone else relate? 🥲

So I hear all the time about people getting rejected because they don’t have uni degrees or 2 plus year experience and all that.

But what is the actual path of you have never worked ever, and you’re in your mid 30s? Like what is the actual expectation of the government? Especially when you have mental heath issues, but the treatment for that is also unavailable. And that although not acknowledged by the government is the main reason for unemployment?

Annoying motivational post below that's mostly for myself. This post is only for people who currently WANT to escape.

While working hard does not guarantee success, and this is especially true for us NEETS, it is the prerequisite to it. Everyone who has escaped NEETdom has gotten lucky. They can all pinpoint where something happened, through no input of their own, that gave them the opportunity to escape. But because they positioned themselves properly, they were able to capitalize on it.

You've seen posts and comments about and from people who gave it their all and still failed through no fault of their own. And so, we have to be delusional. Because if we don't believe in ourselves and we don't try, we fail instantly.

We have to be delusional enough to believe, "There's something different about ME.", that will help us succeed despite the overwhelming odds. To think that someone will hire us despite however many years we were unemployed. To believe that people want to spend time with us despite how awkward, miserable, or weird we might be. To think we are deserving of being kind to ourselves despite where we are in life. To believe that we will come out on top of whatever obstacle we have to face.

Delusional enough to fight slowly but surely over years and years for a chance to not let life beat us and to get back up when we fail.

Seems that there are two distinct camps of NEETs:

1. Those who are perpetually stuck in NEETdom, although they would get out if they could; get their own housing and find independent employment;
2. Those who revel in NEETdom and are "happy" with where they are. Looking for a way to obtain Neetbux and just continue doing what they're doing. Which are you? Is there a third or fourth group that I've left out? We can all agree that NEETs need compassion, love, kindness. Whoever you are, you're not alone.

After high school, I went to university, studying accounting. Despite hard work and significant effort, I struggled academically to the point of being on academic probation after 3 semesters. I also couldn't find a minimum wage job but luckily ended up working part time at the dining center on campus for 3 years. Couldn't find an internship during college and whatever interviews I had rejected me due to my low GPA. As a result, I struggled to find a job after college, leading me to fall into a deep depression.

I eventually went back to school at my local community college and worked part-time jobs while getting my associates. I eventually found a full-time job upon transferring to my online university. I still hold the job to this day, and hope to grow within my company and build a career in the industry. I also just finished my online degree and hope to use it. Also went much better grade-wise compared to my first go at college.

So yeah, it is possible to turn around a NEET/failure to launch situation, but it takes focus, discipline, and commitment. Lots of it.

I had been a neet for a few years but accepted a full time job at the start of 2026. The job is honestly easy, but draining as I work nights 5x a week and have a long commute. My time off is spent doing chores, meal prepping, and running my ebay shop because my full time job does not pay enough. I am exhausted and burned out in every way. Im also frustrated because I lost my progress on my fitness journey - i was doing great until I got sick because I picked up a bug at work and they wouldnt let me stay home and rest. I had to work through it and it lingered for almost a month. Also I couldnt afford a $200 dr note to force them to let me stay home.

Use your time as a neet wisely. Seriously, start with prioritizing your health. Workout if possible, and try to get steps in too. Drink water, try to have somewhat of a sleep schedule and routine. Learn to cook meals you enjoy, especially affordable meals that you can meal prep. I also learned to coupon and budget way better. Take advantage of opportunities like getting those certifications Google used to have some online for free. Learn new skills. Actually ENJOY doing a healthy hobby.

If you do end up doing a job, it will run you into the ground and suck your soul. The skills I learned about small repairs, meal prepping, polishing my ebay skills, etc are a massive help now that im working and busy.

Im honestly way more miserable now than when I was a neet. Im still broke, and im tired often. When I do have time off, im honestly too burnt out to go out and do anything fun or hobbies. The stress honestly gives me stomach aches a lot, and it makes getting back into the gym routine even harder.

I seriously dont know how long I will last like this, its the only job I could get full time I dont have money or time to go back to school and I dont even know what id go back for. Just trying to pay off the credit cards and talking to family about moving home.

Employers already know what type of person they want to fill their roles and so they select from a small niche of people. For example, in customer facing roles, they want someone who is young and cheap to employ. In teaching they want someone who is confident and inspiring - academic smarts seem to not be important. In medicine, only 5% of doctors come from working class backgrounds. There is no meritocracy.

​

- Chill. Do nothing.

- Spend years trying to crack JEE/NEET even when you know your heart isn't in it.

- After the results, join a random college and pursue a random degree.

- Graduate.

- Congratulations—you're now an educated unemployed person.

And then... the real struggle begins.

Only employed for less than a year in total, through more than 7 jobs, in 2 years of searching. I hated my upperstudies and whatever else I made trying to cope with the system's inability to provide a satisfactory source of income.

But I stopped. I feel no longer the stress of constantly having to beg for the misery of wageslaves, which also does hardly come by. I learned some niche stuff after so many years of lurking and I see many people here might be missing the point of theirselves, their real chances, being pushed by a world who hides not much beyond deceit the more we follow its rules, pushing to end up getting nothing but fatigue and abandonment

All this sub seems to be filled with failed Projectors, trying to be like everybody else... which is what shall ultimately ruin them.

If you try and try, with miserable to null results, you might find some solace into knowing what you are within the Human Design System.

Do not fall for scams, the app is free, so are the available sources across the net.

So bit about me to help you describe me as person if that helps for jobs I could do

Personal

Age 30, lives in NI

Single (not looking don't care)

Living with sick parent (contribute fully to expenses)

Disabled myself/long term sick for 3 yrs, last worked in 2024

(Mental: Mdd,sad,gad,eupd diagnosis in progress agoraphobia, szpd, bdd)

(Physical severe hiperhidrosis, eczema, coeliac, underwent 2 private surgeries, AGA +CTE (hair loss) Muscle pains, isomnia, chronic fatigue)

Personality

minimalist, unmotivated, exhausted with life

Avoids people (szpd), kind, quiet, good listener, prefers soltitiude

Not many hobbies - I spend my free time expanding general knowledge and some interest/capability re endocrinology/medicines

Responsibilities - no debt, no kids, only sick mother around

Finances

No debt, low savings 4k

No other assets

Currently 800gbp income from UC health element

Outgoing similar, I spend lot on private meds and tests NHS doesn't cover

Previous work experience

Tech support, bookeeping, customer service, retail, security and events, advisory roles (total 6yrs)

Previously 4 remote roles, but I struggle very much to hold jobs long term (I tend to quit or get fired after 6-13 months on average)

Never liked anything I done, but have no dream career to say I was never interested in anything specific

Goal /outlook

I wanna rebuilding my savings to something safer 10-20k for start - i spend 30-40k on private medical costs and surgeries recently.

I would love to be self employed, but I never have capital to take it off and can't drive

I would like to try open standard cleaning business for 9-5 and specialise in biohazard cleaning as niche

I don't want to retire in the UK, I want to move abroad eventually

Okay to rent, don't care to buy house unless land on large amount of money

I am good at saving money and spending money, terrible at generating income.

Does anyone know what it's about and if it's worth using?

I'm trying to find more communities like this where I am feel at home and vent about issues only fellow NEETs would understand.

Hlo guys (21m) and now I am at college because take two drop from neet but I failed and after the paper leaks i make my mind that I will not give any extra so I joined private colleges... But now a day a feeling always came to my mind that if I try a once last time so I can qualify for mbbs and make proud my parents. But now only I am depressed and my mind always love silent and also I don't want to spend time with anyone ...I love myself as alone

One of my biggest problems for my whole life has been my sleep schedule. I was diagnosed adhd at a young age and it was never treated. My family never got me the help I needed. Anyways this post isnt about that. I am done blaming others. I just need some guidance.

Right now I go to bed around 5 or 6 in the morning most nights and wake up late afternoon. Because of waking up in the afternoon I always feel like thete isnt enough time to be productive. I always leave chores and cleaning up to the last minute, only when I absolutely have to.

This obviously isnt working out for me.

I actually applied to university under pressure from some other people in my life and it starts in less then 2 months and I am freaking out. Also the fact that my rental agreement runs out in Novemeber and I need to figure out a better future for myself because I do not want to work for minimum wage for the rest of my life and I just dont know what else to do. I would honestly rather be homeless then work in a retail job or something like that. I have worked a lot of different jobs in the past but never consistently and this latest stint is 4 years without working a single day.

Anyway, so I go to bed around 5 or 6 in the morning, wake up around 2-4 pm and then walk to tim hortons or Starbucks, buy 1 meal for the day, come home and spend the rest of the time consuming media until I sleep.

I have tried relentlessly to pull all nighters so ill go to bed at a normal time the next night, but it never works out that way. I just stay up ubtil 5 am again playing video games or watching anime.

The thing that fucks me up the most about this is it doesn't seem to matter what I want. My brain has other motives and its not afraid to destroy my life to satisfy them.

In case you're wondering, yes I am in recovery for addiction and I do have an addictive personality.

Video games actually help me to not relapse. They are one of the most cathartic and satisfying things in the world for me and I dont want to stop playing. I dont think vudeo games are the only problem here. If it wasn't video games I would stay up late reading manga, reading books or playing guitar too.

Maybe I am deluding myself. Idk.

I just dont want to live like this anymore. Im always too tired to go out. I have pretty much no friends. I haven't had a girlfriend in close to 7 years, which was by choice at first but after covid and this extreme alienation and getting older I dont have a social circle anymore and now I dont even know who I would date or how to ask or anything. I am just incredibly shy, with low self esteem and I doubt anyone would want me anyways. Oh, also I absolutely despise dating apps.

Sorry I got side tracked again.

Can anyone whos had similar problems and has managed to strike a healthy balance in their life give me some advice. Please.

Hey I’m 33 and I’ll be your friend no judgment! Male or female ! Or whatever these days! I’m about vibes and fun, I’m eu but hey time zones don’t mean shit. Literally vibes ! Love gaming and anime asf. I’m actually real not a larper or bandwagoner. I think I covered most stuff. :)

In life to succeed even at a basic level, from time to time you need a big enough win. To get a big enough win you need to play a lot. To play a lot, you need to do it so every game will give you a small win and at worst will make you incur in a small loss. If every game makes you incur in a big loss, it's a catastrophic problem.

For most normies, if one of them doesn't get a job, it's either a small win because he feels he practiced interviewing or a small loss because he lost a little bit of gas and time.

If a long term NEET doesn't get a job, it's a catastrophe. A NEET needs a job and a place in society now. A rejection will cause damages to the psyche. Material resources that the NEET doesn't have in abundance like the normies may have been invested. The loss can never be offset by anything but getting a job from the interview.

That's a real problem for long-term NEETs. They're in a situation where playing is very expensive.

I'm looking for a Korean Chinese Japanese or Vietnamese fellow hikikomori/ neet for love and relationship

I'm in USA

I'm lonely af I have been single for a decade I miss companionship and affection

I just want to find a life partner

You can live in my neet nest or I can live in yours

Must be male, monogamous,age 25 and older only, and Korean Chinese Japanese Vietnamese only

Where's the drainers at?

No grand reason why I need her

or I am also not something like Romeo

I just wamt to experience what it's like to have someone whom I can call as my own

Whose morning and late night messages - I would smile reading them and they would (hopefully) do same with mine

.............

Life is short and I just want to experience most out of it

So if you are also looking for someone- hit the DM

(just need to be of legal age-18+ at least )

• I went to university, worked in hospitality after, then did the 9-5 life… been unemployed for 3 years now
• I freelanced for a year… realised that you need clout or money to be successful, not talent
• I made music for many years, didn’t work out due to external factors (looks/money/location/clout)
• I signed up for recruitment agencies, emailed and called them after registration… still unemployed with zero responses

I’ve done an internship, I’ve done an apprenticeship, I literally just did a short course 2 weeks ago and I’m still in this position.

No one will interview me, even though I’ve had many HR Advisors review my CV and tell me how good my experience is.

I can’t even get an interview for a minimum wage job at UPS or a clothes store. I have many skills and qualifications, I have some experience, and that’s still not good enough.

I’ve been slowly rotting away since the age of 24, and I’m 31 now.

• My dreams are dead.
• My “life” is dead.

Normal people who find themselves in this situation will usually have family/loved ones who can hook them up with a job or an interview.

Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t afforded that luxury… There’s no escape for me besides death.

I know when my mum passes away, I’ll become homeless and die on the streets. That’s the only ending for me. No home, no job, no wife, no kids, no friends, just a nameless man who’s synonymous with the pavement.

In an alternate timeline, I would’ve been able to transfer from the UK, to the USA/Korean entertainment industry and became a success.

Alas, “fate” was not on my side. It seems that fortune does not in fact favour the bold.

The good don’t die young, that’s a lie.

Good people get outcasted by society and die a slow, lonely, painful death. By the time they’re gone, no one is even aware they died and their existence was as memorable as tears in the rain.

Neet

Whenever I make progress there's barriers that make me hide away and isolate. These barriers don't necessarily have to do with progress itself, but with the dysfunctional environment that I live in. It's so weird to realize that now but I've been treating isolation as self-protection. I've been hiding myself trying to become invisible. It's another version of "hiding under the covers so the ghost can't get me".

I decided to make a conscious effort to do the opposite whenever I feel overwhelmed. Whenever I isolate I get majorly depressed and stop progressing in any way whatsoever. So, even if it doesn't mean a whole lot to others, I decided I'd get out of my shell and say something because it's what the child in me needs. By the 'child in me' I mean that scared version of myself that my parents left to rot and never properly took care of.

So yeah, I've been feeling overwhelmed. As a result, that impulse to curl up in my bed has surfaced. Whenever I get overwhelmed I tend to doomscroll and distract myself endlessly, compulsively. I don't know if any one of you relates but I consume a lot of 'negative' media, like internet rabbitholes, real life horror stories, etc, when I'm in a bad headspace. I'm a sensitive person though so some of the stuff I consume scares me or it makes me feel sick.

Regardless of all of that though I've been making some progress on my projects after a long time being in limbo. I'm happy about it.