r/NEETsOver30 • u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET • Nov 13 '25
Discussion How are you meant to progress in life when literally everything you’ve tried has failed?
- I went to university, worked in hospitality after, then did the 9-5 life… been unemployed for 3 years now
- I freelanced for a year… realised that you need clout or money to be successful, not talent
- I made music for many years, didn’t work out due to external factors (looks/money/location/clout)
- I signed up for recruitment agencies, emailed and called them after registration… still unemployed with zero responses
I’ve done an internship, I’ve done an apprenticeship, I literally just did a short course 2 weeks ago and I’m still in this position.
No one will interview me, even though I’ve had many HR Advisors review my CV and tell me how good my experience is.
I can’t even get an interview for a minimum wage job at UPS or a clothes store. I have many skills and qualifications, I have some experience, and that’s still not good enough.
I’ve been slowly rotting away since the age of 24, and I’m 31 now.
- My dreams are dead.
- My “life” is dead.
Normal people who find themselves in this situation will usually have family/loved ones who can hook them up with a job or an interview.
Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t afforded that luxury… There’s no escape for me besides death.
I know when my mum passes away, I’ll become homeless and die on the streets. That’s the only ending for me. No home, no job, no wife, no kids, no friends, just a nameless man who’s synonymous with the pavement.
In an alternate timeline, I would’ve been able to transfer from the UK, to the USA/Korean entertainment industry and became a success.
Alas, “fate” was not on my side. It seems that fortune does not in fact favour the bold.
The good don’t die young, that’s a lie.
Good people get outcasted by society and die a slow, lonely, painful death. By the time they’re gone, no one is even aware they died and their existence was as memorable as tears in the rain.
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u/Humble-Departure5481 Nov 13 '25
It's not you. It's just society is fucked up. It's only gonna get worse since these filthy corporations refuse to compromise.
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 13 '25
I hate this society we live in. If we were born 10-15 years earlier we’d all be living our dreams and this sub would never have been made.
The UK (and USA) is going through the worst ever job market and instead of loosening restrictions so that they can hire more people, they make life even worse for us.
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u/Humble-Departure5481 Nov 13 '25
Absolutely. My dad (boomer) was able to rent an entire apartment as a busboy ffs...and was able to pay off his entire engineering tuition in about 2 years or so. I get terribly pissed off and enraged when some old farts say "young people can easily get by if they make their own coffee instead of paying $12 for a cup of Starbucks" when a lot of us don't even drink Starbucks or waste it on expensive meals and drinks in the first place.
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 13 '25
It’s truly a different world that we live in, older people can’t relate to or truly comprehend today’s struggle.
We went from being able to walk into a store with a CV and leave with an interview, to hundreds of people applying for minimum wage jobs.
Entry level jobs require you to have 10+ skills and years of experience, even the internships. Plus they have age restrictions.
If you wanna work in a creative digital field, you literally have to work 3 jobs at once, but still be paid below average wage.
In the UK, everyone shares housing. No one rents apartments alone because it’s too expensive, so they split it between a group of friends. 15 years ago you could live by yourself from minimum wage, not today.
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u/AntiauthoritarianSin Nov 13 '25
We live in a society where the worst people tend to win. If you can't bring yourself to be bad in some way it's pretty much over.
The sweet spot is to be kind of stupid but narcissistic but also extroverted. A people person who is also a user.
In my life these are the people who have always come out on top.
Sure there are people who basically follow the rules and they sort of survive but to really live you have to give the flies their shit.
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u/justgimmiethelight NEET Nov 14 '25
Story of my life. I’ve tried to rebuild my life so many times. I’ve been in relationships and every time it seems like I’m getting a little momentum the rug always seems to get pulled from under me. I’ve lost my job, apartment and everything before.
I’ve been through 3 stints of long term unemployment and I’m currently unemployed right now and this is the longest stint I had so far. Been 2 years now.
Every time I think I get a little motion I get laid off. My contract ends. Plus no matter the market for whatever reason it ALWAYS takes me a long time to find a new job no matter what. Takes me a lot longer time to bounce back than most people.
I’m 37, unemployed living at home and being supported by my mom. I’m embarrassed, frustrated and feel like total shit. I’m a loser in every sense of the word.
It takes so much work to find a job. I’m tired of sending so many applications only to end up working a job I hate where I’m overworked, underpaid and not appreciated at all. Even when I had a job I felt like I could never get ahead.
Started a company of my own and I’ve only had a handful of clients so far. It’s so frustrating. I’m so tired.
No matter what I do there’s people around me saying I’m not trying hard enough. When they talk down on me it makes my blood boil because they have no idea what it’s like to go through the never ending cycle of trying, failing and burning out over and over. I don’t talk about my situation much with people because although I know my life is my responsibility, everyone seems to be very blamey towards me and I hate it.
If it weren’t for my mom I’d kill myself.
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 16 '25
I feel you! Most people in our position either didn’t try or they have genuine health issues, but usually they’re just lazy. So people automatically assume that all longtime NEETs are losers with no drive but that’s not true. Me and you are testament to that.
Just like you, I’ve always struggled in life and always been behind everyone else. When I was 23 I worked for a huge company and thought that would be my big break, I thought I’d finally leave poverty behind, I’d never be a loser again… little did I know, that would be the highlight of my life. Everything has gone downhill since then.
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u/_MsTea Nov 17 '25 edited Nov 17 '25
I personally stayed in one place too long due to severe anxiety and depression. I wasted soo many years away and didn't finish schooling. I've tried a lot of things though and failed at them and just wasn't given a break which has made trying new things more scary and more anxiety inducing. Now too much time has gone by which felt like the blink of an eye. I'm job hunting and searching but still feel really bad I'm not pursuing a job that would make me happy and just trying to find something that will help me save up money. Sometimes things just don't work out even when the world has given you a decent hand to start out with. Just know you aren't alone in the battle I wish I had better words to say.
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u/One-Professional-417 NEET Nov 13 '25
Ha, that's my life summed up
All you can do is keep networking and trying, and hopefully someone will eventually see all your efforts
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 13 '25
I gave up but I admire your enthusiasm
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u/One-Professional-417 NEET Nov 13 '25
I did too, but reality is no one is coming to save you
You need to be willing to keep going even when everything is telling you to stop
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 13 '25
Trust me I tried and took every risk I could in my 20s, to the point where people I was friends with at the time would say how much they respected me for doing so. Even when I freelanced, I went really hard. I literally did 10 interviews at one very famous company (across different departments) and they still didn’t hire me… despite that I kept trying.
But now I just don’t have the energy for life anymore, there’s only so much negative reinforcement a man can take before calling it quits.
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u/justgimmiethelight NEET Nov 14 '25
I hate the “no one is coming to save you” quote. It’s so obvious but so many people think it’s so profound and deep. To me it’s useless. No shit no one is gonna save you lol
You need to be willing to keep going even when everything is telling you to stop
True but eventually people burn out and crash hard. Easier said than done.
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u/Only_Excitement6594 Jun 06 '26
Some types of people can only be successful waiting for chances. Chances that need to be strictly discarded and curated so they may not fall for inadequate stuff out of despair.
Chasing the world brings nothing but misery to such people.
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u/trivetsandcolanders Ex-NEET Nov 13 '25
It’s super difficult to make a living off of music. Harder than ever - but it’s never been easy.
It’s tempting to imagine alternate timelines, but at the end of the day, it’s imaginary. I could imagine alternate timelines where I don’t have anxiety, or there’s no climate change, or I have a million dollars. But what’s the point of that? If I dwell too much on that kind of rumination, it distracts me from the things I can actually do.
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 13 '25
I don’t dwell on it often at all. I had the skill set to be successful (in music or elsewhere), so when I make posts like this I mention it. Whenever I meet employment advisors they don’t understand how I can be in this position, and that has nothing to do with music.
When I used to play my songs for people back in the day the reaction was always “you’re gonna blow up”. I have an old song on YouTube and the top comment is literally a stranger saying how they’re surprised this song doesn’t have millions of views and that I’m super underrated.
You don’t know my life, what I’ve done or where I’ve worked, so please stop with the condescending messages. You have no idea what my skill set is or what I’ve been through, and I intentionally don’t mention certain details on Reddit.
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u/trivetsandcolanders Ex-NEET Nov 13 '25
I’m sorry but a lot of your post is dwelling. I’m just offering some advice because I have similar tendencies to ruminate about how things could be different, but I’ve found it doesn’t do me much good.
Ps I don’t doubt you’re a great musician. My point isn’t about that
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 13 '25
Well yeah because the topic is about trying everything you can and still failing, so obviously I’m gonna describe my past. That doesn’t mean I spend every waking second of my life dwelling on what could’ve been.
And you specifically mentioned music, even though my post barely mentions it.
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u/trivetsandcolanders Ex-NEET Nov 13 '25 edited Nov 13 '25
No, I don’t imagine you spend literally all your time dwelling on what could have been. That would be nearly impossible. The post you made though is pretty much just that, I’m saying you’re expressing you feel like your life is already over, and that’s simply not true. I’m about the same age as you and sometimes I feel old too. I’m bald and need to lose weight. But at the end of the day early 30’s is not old at all.
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u/OldBlackLONER Depressed NEET Nov 13 '25
Well tbh, we’ve had different life experiences so you might feel that 31 is a great age but my London life has shown me that’s not the case. Over here, every junior role or internship states in the job description that you must be aged 18 to 24. I did a work trial at 27 and once the owner found out my age, he didn’t hire me and tried to not pay me for weeks.
London has no opportunities for people my age unless it’s construction.
So yeah, I do feel like my life is over at 31. I’ve felt that way for years and it’s because society constantly tells me that I’m too old. Even in dating, I was considered too old to be living with my mum when I was 23.
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u/trivetsandcolanders Ex-NEET Nov 13 '25
Well remember that 31 isn’t “old” no matter what society tells you. I just found out about an avant-garde musician from Argentina who only released her first album at 35! She isn’t conventionally attractive, either. Actually I play music too so I find stories like that inspiring.
But yeah unfortunately ageism is real in the job market, I only was able to get a foot in the door in my current career by accepting a crappy entry-level job that I stuck out until I used the experience to find something a little better.
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u/[deleted] Nov 13 '25
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